 The makers of Wrigley's Spearmint Chewing Gum invite you to enjoy life, life with Luigi. A comedy show created by Cy Howard, directed by Mack Benhoff and starring that celebrated actor, Mr. J. Carol Nash, with Alan Reed as Pasquale. Friends, the makers of Wrigley's Spearmint Chewing Gum are glad to bring you life with Luigi because they feel it's a friendly, good-natured show that offers you relaxation and enjoyment. And you know, Wrigley's Spearmint Chewing Gum offers you relaxation and enjoyment too. It's pleasant to chew on a smooth piece of Wrigley's Spearmint whether you're working, shopping, listening to your radio, or doing just about anything. Wrigley's Spearmint Gum tastes good, it's refreshing, and the good, easy chewing gives you comfort and satisfaction. So chew Wrigley's Spearmint Gum often every day. Millions enjoy it, and you will too. Now, Wrigley's Spearmint Chewing Gum brings you Luigi as he writes another letter describing his adventures in America to his mama-basco in Italy. Mummy. The wonderful thing about America is all of the three things that they got to hear. They got a post office where you can fill up your pants and a pen for free. Then they got a free library where you can go in and take out a book and maybe read a magazine or just take a little nap. It'll cost you nothing unless you snore, then they throw you out. And also, they got a free museum where you can go and see how the people looked a thousand years ago. Mummy, I guess they didn't have much to eat, they all looked like bones. But then they got a free concert and they got a free art gallery and free lectures, and they even got a free hospital where you can get a ticket for nothing. But to me, the best thing that got to America is the free schools. And every night, when I go to my night school, I feel so happy, I'm always singing. America, I love you, you're like a papa to me, from the ocean to the ocean. Quiet class, I'll call the roll. Mr. Basco. Here. Mr. Howard. Here. Mr. Olson. Mr. Schultz. I'm here and you're stuck with me. Smiles, fellow pupils, remember, life in the battlefront and school is the zero hour. Mr. Schultz will give you a chance to collect some zeros soon enough. Now, class, let's try to finish our lesson early today so that I can tell you about a little contest our principal, Mr. Orrth, has planned for you. Well, what's the kind of contest it was? Well, it makes absolutely no difference at all. If brains are required, I am sure to be the winner. Oh, yeah. Orrth, I got $10 that says I win. Is that so? Put up or shut up. All right, I'll put up. Then I'll shut up. Oh, you stepped right into that one, Orrth. All right, gentlemen, enough of that. Let's get on with the civic lesson now. Mr. Basco, I hope you studied for today. Please tell us how many members are there in the president's cabinet. Nine? Good. That gets us off to a fine start. Mr. Horowitz, you may begin naming the title. With pleasure. The Secretary of State, the Secretary of the Treasury, the Secretary of Defense, the Secretary of the Empire, the Secretary of Labor. Him will never have so many secretaries set on one lap. Please, please. All right, Mr. Schultz, Mr. Horowitz named five. You may finish naming the other four positions. Quarterback, fullback, half-back, and second. Mr. Schultz, are you going to break our nice record? No, Mr. Horowitz, I really did study for today. Where is the Horowitz-Libor? Secretary of Labor. He said Secretary of Interior? Yes. All right. Secretary of Exterior. Wrong. There is no such secretary. Not so loud, Mr. Schultz. If no one hears about it, they'll go right out in the point point. Well, you did fair, Mr. Schultz. Mr. Olsen, you may name the other four members of the Cabinet. Just their names? Miss Baldwin, wouldn't you want their states and their salaries? Sure, and while you're at it, also the height, weight, and birthmark. Just the positions, Mr. Olsen. The remaining Cabinet members include the Attorney General, the Postmaster General, the Secretary of Agriculture, and the Secretary of Commerce. Excellent. Let's keep it up. Mr. Baskow, now you may tell us the name of the Secretary of State. Secretary of State? Dean G. His last name reminds us of a railroad. Secretary Chuchu. When he told him he tried, at least he was on the right track. Oh, my, everybody. Mr. Horowitz, tell him. Dean Aschison, Secretary of State. Of course. Now, Mr. Baskow, see if you can't redeem yourself. Can you name the Secretary of the Treasury? Of course. You act as a Jan-a-double-ish side. Go on, Secretary of Defense. Mr. Rabbit, I love it. Yes, excellent. You surprise me, Mr. Baskow. I'm surprised myself, Mr. Baskow. Now then, Mr. Schultz, let me see if you can continue the good work. Secretary of Agriculture? Charles F. Brennan. Are you sure? If I'm right, then I'm sure. You're right. Do you know the Secretary of the Interior, Mr. Schultz? After all, Chairman? Yes. Mr. Spaulding, next time, say guilty or innocent right away before I get a heart attack. One more for you, Mr. Schultz. Please, Mr. Spaulding, let's not push our luck too far. Very well. You did fine, Mr. Schultz. Mr. Olsen, you may name the remaining Cabinet members for us. I'm General J. Howard McGrath. Postmaster General Jesse M. Donaldson. Secretary of Commerce, Charles Sawyer. And, uh, is there one still missing, Mr. Spaulding? Yes. Lock up the Cabinet. Call the FBI. Get the kid up behind the house. Come now. Just one answer for a perfect record. Mr. Baskow, you have your hand raised. Yeah, well, Secretary of the Labor is a... is a... is a... is a... is a... is a... J. Tobin. Wonderful. I think that's the best showing we've all had in months. Now, why don't we just take a bow close to theater and go home? No, no, no, no, not yet, Mr. Schultz, because, uh, remember, Mr. Spaulding, is... is it going to tell us about the contest? Oh, yes. The title of our little essay contest is Three Words. Three Words? You mean... That's... that's all that we've got to write? Well, even the radio contest allows you 25 words with three salt coupons. Well, let me finish, class. Three Words is merely the title of the essay. Now, listen carefully, because I think our principal has an interesting idea. What are the three most important words in guiding your life? The... the most important words in... Guides in our life? Yes, you've all read articles like Seven Ways to Improve Yourself and Two Steps to Success. Now, we want all of you to try an inspirational essay. The three most important words in guiding your life. Can you stop, stop? I know what it is. I once said two words that I would give a thousand dollars to buy back. Oh, really? What were those words, Mr. Schultz? I do. I was only joking. Miss Browning, you know for a minute, is only one word... America. Well, that's an excellent thought, Mr. Baskow, but we are not allowed proper names. Ah, too bad. But who's out my other three? What was that, Schultz? Patty Laverne and Maxine. Well, class, you have until this Friday, at which time our principal, Mr. Orth, will come in and hear our essays and award the prize to the winner. A beautiful dictionary. Well, that's a fair exchange. Three words for three million words. I just thought of the three words, Miss Browning. Well, don't tell us, Mr. Schultz. And I thought of the words that's got to be... Don't be too sure. Or else, you'll never lose this. Well, I don't know about that, because you always say it's easy, but to me, I'm a cancer thinker of no words. Oh, wonderful. I got one down and two to go. She's my friend. Hello, Luigi. Hello, hello. Oh, hello, Professor Elly. Hey, what are you reading, a little banana nose? A book. What kind? Well, it's a ten-cent dictionary. Why? I'm going to find the three words. Three words for a dime has to sound like inflation. What's the three word of business, anyway? Well, it's for a school of cancer. School, school, school. Luigi, what do you expect to get from all this school stuff? Well, is it going to make me better citizen? I see. You're better citizen, eh? That means instead of waiting for four years, like everybody else, are you going to be allowed to vote for president once every year? No, that isn't that. It just means I'm going to understand more and more about America and the history about America. Ah, Luigi, Luigi. History is something that's a past and a forgotten. Like the last two weeks of me balls. Look, my boy, you want to be smart. You should have stopped reading the books or read the paper every day like I do. That's the way you get a real education. Oh, yeah? Sure. Well, Pascale, you tell me, who's the Postmaster General? Huh? Who cares who's the Postmaster General? I only buy the stamps if I'm a private. No, Pascale, that's not the answer. It's the Jesse Banu de San. I don't care if it's the Jesse James. No one a junk like that ain't even going to buy you one a pound of butter in a grocery store. Luigi, if you want a good example of success without education, just look at me. Well, I'm looking at Pascale. I never went to school one day in my life. I never read one book. And I bet I got a brain at the second hand to nobody. I bet I got a brain at the second hand to nobody. Pascale, you're so right. Hey, you got a real good second hand to bring. That's the funny thing. When I say it, it's a come out of different. Luigi, put down a book and listen to me. The minute you stop the school and you start doing the man's work, I'm going to give you five thousand a dollar. What do you mean by man's work? Marry into my daughter Rosa. Go right. Wait, where you going? I'm going to collect my unemployment insurance. That would be so iffy, puppity. Now, look, Luigi, I'll tell you something. No, no, no, Pascale, Pascale, please, please. I'm too busy now to argue with you. I'm going to find these three words by Friday. All right. It's so advertising I lost to the foul. How does this crazy three-way talk, anyway? It's a very important contest, Pascale. I'm going to find the three most important words as the guide to my life. Words that I'm believing, and that means everything to me. Luigi, stop, but don't go no further. I got it already. You got it, Pascale. What is the words of Pascale? Money, marriage, and Rosa. Pascale, never mind. I'm not going to find out to myself. How are you going to find out, Luigi? The English language has got over 20 billion words, and they all are way the same. How do you know what's the most important? Yeah, but Pascale, somebody must know. Always just stop acting like a maroon. In America, the three biggest words is money, mula, and a mezuma. No, no, no, Pascale, Pascale, you're wrong. You're wrong. I am. Take a money can to buy in America. Well, that's a lot. Well, that's a lot. Yeah, go ahead and name a one-take. Well, that's... Love, today there ain't a girl you couldn't marry if you had enough money. Position, Luigi, I guarantee you, if you had enough money, you could even have become a millionaire. No, please, Pascale, you're not... You're not helping me, Pascale. You're not helping me, Pascale, because I never thought I'm going to have so much trouble finding the three little words, but there must be three words. And I'm... And I'm not going to find them. All right, all right, a stubborn and donkey. You go out and look for those three words until you get old and gray, and then when it's too late, the three words isn't going to find you. What the three words? Rest in peace. Before we return to life with Luigi, here's a way that you can get more enjoyment and satisfaction out of the things you do during the day. From time to time, chew a stick of refreshing, delicious, wriggly, spearmint gum. You see, chewing on a good piece of gum literally helps you feel better and enjoy what you're doing. It helps relieve strain and tension, gives you a little lift, and makes things go smoother and pleasanter for you. Wrigley's spearmint gum tastes good, too. It has a lively, long-lasting, real spearmint flavor that freshens your taste and sweetens your breath. Enjoy it often at home, at work, wherever you are. Remember to get Wrigley's spearmint chewing gum. Helpful, refreshing, delicious. Now, let's turn to page two of Luigi Basto's letter to his mother in Italy. Mama mia, what do you think is the three most important words in a guide into your life? I'm wondering. I'm going to have a lots of them, but I don't think I know enough. It is more smart of people than me in the books. So I thought I would look in them. And a drugstore kind of was a lot to books, to 25 cents. Murder, energy, flatter. How many sider plays it? So is a sider for Susie. And also in the middle was a book by Shakespeare, and I believe in me, mama mia. Poor Shakespeare is a little scarier than to that. Well, I found a nut in the den, and I was just going to go to the library when it is to come, my friend, to shoot. Luigi, my fellow poodle! Hello, Susie. Hey, Susie, you find the three words yesterday? Ah, did I? Luigi don't even bother to show up at the contest. The beautiful prize dictionary is practically holding up the broken leg of my sofa right now. Maybe it's a funner to you, but I'm a wish I could have found it three good words. Ah, Luigi, don't worry. Just find three plain everyday words. You know, like love, honor and obey, win place and show. Luigi, it is not so hard. Yeah, Susie's a sider. If I'm going to tell people how they live, they're the most important words in life. But I'm too small to get such a word. Well, if you ain't going to get them, you ain't got no hands up. Hey, wait. Hey, Susie, I'm going to ask the people and get ideas from them. Yeah, I'll see what I'm going to do. I'm going to ask lots of people and I'm going to pick out what I'm going to hear the most. That's what you're going to do? Yeah, it's just like the Gallup to Paul, only I'm going to take the basketball pole. Basketball pole? What's that Italian basketball? Why am I not taking it easy before he shoots it? Sure, I'm going to ask the American people right in this place to watch the three most important words that are to them. Ah, that's good, Luigi. And smile. Be like me. Always happy. Always laughing. Ha, ha, ha, ha. Oh, my, oh, my. This is a bit scary. Well, I'm going to tell you this a little first. Excuse me, mister. Yeah. What's the most important words in English language? Beat it. I don't need the words. Excuse me, mister. Yeah? I'm taking a basketball pole. Please, what do you think is the three most important words in English language? Are you a reporter? No, no, I'm not going to report to you to nobody. What is this? I don't go for the sidewalk interview stuff. All right, because then we're talking a gutter. Come on. Hey, look, I got to get home. No, please, please, mister. Just the three words. Words that are going to bring the people so could say. Okay. I'll give you the three words that will make you fortunate. What are the words? Rob a bank. Well, here's the pocket. Maybe in there, the people, they don't rush you so much. Maybe I'm going to get a better answer. Hey, there's a friend I think. Yeah, I think I've seen him before. Excuse me, friend. Huh? I'm taking a basketball pole. Please, maybe you're going to tell me the most important words in English language. How many words? Three. Three most important words. Ideal dog food. Ideal dog food. That's the three most important words in the languages. If you're a dog, do you? Oh, mister, maybe there's a bigger joker to you, mister. Look, friend, if you've got some sad story and you're looking for a soft shoulder to lean on, count me up. I cry too easy. No, no, no, please, please, you know, understand, mister. All I'm a one is just the three words that are from you. Three most important words in your life. Do you mean it? Sure. An extension? Yeah, sure. What are your three words? Mother, come home. That's your three words? I never had no mother, friend. That may be when I was born. You know what it means to go through life without a mother. What a man. Every mother's day I send flowers to myself. I'm sort of very sorry for you, my friend. You got a mother? Yes, sir. Where is she? In his belly. I hope you don't go home for lunches. Friend, you should go home to your mother. Love her. Cherish her. I miss for the million things today. No, no, no, no, mister, mister. Oh, I mean, don't do that. She's growing old. Oh, please, please, don't cry. Don't cry. Please, mister. She is what it is. She's just the three words that are from you. The three words are from you. The three words are from you. The words are from you. The words are from you. He is for her eyes with love like shine. The mother is mister, mama. Power is right and right. He'll always be. No, no, no, no, no. They're all together. They's for mama. You like to come, mama? Don't go away, that means no one is to me. Come here. Tell the truth. Is it the half of it? Like I said, it's the half of it? Yeah, but please, mister, I mean, how can a people act like that to everybody? This is so crazy. I told you, you'll get the brush off for people that they hate each other. Three words is a lot of baloney. Luigi, is it just the one word for you? One? Yes, and I call it in and out. Rosa! Rosa! Rosa! Luigi, what's the three most important words in the English language? Breakfast, dinner and supper! No! Think of what you would like most of all, to think of the future. Now tell Luigi the three most important words out there. Triplets! Well, Luigi, isn't that the thing you ever heard of? No, it was about you. You're not going to make me crazy when you're stupid. It's all kind of everything that you're doing. My mother listened to me on my holiday. Forgive him if I spell it out. And I just have to forgive him. Forgive him? Mommy, I'm a goddess! I'm a goddess! I don't know, Rosa, but I know it's another you. Excellent, Mr. Schultz. Wouldn't you say so, Mr. Orsch? Yes, fond friendship and happiness. These three words would certainly improve the world. So also a lot of radio programs. Smile, everybody, smile. And give me the dictionary, Mr. Orsch. Please, Mr. Schultz, we haven't finished all the S-Asia. And Schultz, I don't think your words will beat mine. Liberty, equality, family. Those were excellent choices, Mr. Horowitz. Liberty, equality, family. And how? Ask any man with a family. He's dying for some liberty. Mr. Olsen, your essay, please. Thank you. Three words to guide you. One, knowledge. The beacon light illuminating man's movement. Two, ambition. Without ambition, there is no progress. Three, perseverance. Because nothing great is ever accomplished unless you constantly over and over keep putting your shoulder to the wheel and forever keep your nose to the grindstone. Sure, and in two years, we've got no shoulders and no nose. Please, Mr. Schultz. Excellent. Three capital words, knowledge, ambition, perseverance. Do you suppose you can beat them, Mr. Boscoe? You've been very quiet, Mr. Boscoe. Well, I'm responding and I'm having Mr. Orsch and my class. My first word, I'm going to have to ask a lot of people advice. Maybe there was a too busy thinking about other important things, the business, the troubles, or maybe just to themselves. Any way there was an act of bad, at least I'm going to think so. People, they've got to have a time for the others. All the world, they've got to have a time for each other, or maybe we're going to have no word. That's the way I'm going to think of tolerance. This is no mean only tolerance for race and religion or the color. That's a mean of tolerance for grownups, for children, country for country, one to each other. And that's the way I'm going to give that word. And that's bringing me to my second word, which we've got to have, forgiveness. I suppose it's almost like a tolerance, but if there's no forgiveness, then we're only going to be on each other's throat. And my third word is hope. Always I'm going to hope for better people, better world, and I'm not to forget a better me. Well, there goes my dictionary. Well, there you have it, Mr. Orth. Are you ready with the decision? Yes. Who's the winner? There is no winner. What? You mean there's no dictionary? On the contrary, Ms. Paulding, here is the fact. I have four dictionaries. See, my essay contest can have no winner, for there are no three words that can best guide us in our lives. Many have been considered, and yours are equally good. Mr. Horowitz, your dictionary? Thank you. Sure. Thanks. Mr. Olsen, thank you. And Mr. Baskov, your wonderful words, you fortified my belief that we must all think in positive terms. There are no set rules of life, no groups of words, no trick combinations. Rather, let us in our daily lives try to choose words like forgiveness, love, charity, tolerance, kindness, truth, patience, hope, peace, liberty. Let us shun the words that have brought destruction, envy, greed, hate, war, intolerance, anger, lies, deceit, and in this way enrich our lives and the lives of our children. Well, thank you. Thank you so much, Mr. Orth. You said so many beautiful things. And you had the wonderful idea. And I want to tell you, Mr. Orth, I'm learned a lot. We sure did. Sure, that's it. Three, two, three. And what about you, Mr. Short? Well, as long as I got my dictionary, I'm going to throw in another three words. What's that, Mr. Short? Papo, Chico, and Groucho. Mamma Mia, I'm learned a lot from the essay contest today. And I wish you could see the beautiful new web dictionary I'm going to get for my prizes. I'm sat in this dictionary for three hours tonight. And it was a lot of good words. And I'm going to try to use it like a Mr. Orth did the essay. But the one word that's the sound the most beautiful to me when I was a little boy, and now, and forever, is Mamma Mia. You're lovin' a son, Luigi Vasco, a little immigrant. Friends, the makers of Wrigley's Fairman chewing gum hope you enjoyed the Tonight's Episode of Life with Luigi, and they want to remind you that it's a good idea to have a few packages of Wrigley's Fairman gum in your home at all times. Wrigley's Fairman is a delicious taste treat that everyone can enjoy. Give it to children when they want something good between meals. It won't spoil their appetite. Enjoy Wrigley's Fairman gum often yourself and pass it around when friends drop in. They'll appreciate your thoughtfulness, and because they know that familiar package of Wrigley's Fairman means real chewing enjoyment. They know, too, that chewing Wrigley's Fairman gum freshens the taste and aids digestion. So next time you go to the store, get a few packages of refreshing, delicious Wrigley's Fairman chewing gum. Your family will enjoy it, and your friends will, too. The makers of Wrigley's Fairman chewing gum invite you to be sure to listen next week at this time when Luigi Vasco writes another letter to his mama Vasco in Italy. Life with Luigi is a Cy Howard production. Pat Burton is associate producer. The script is written by Mack Benhoff and Lou Derman and directed by Mr. Benhoff. J. Carol Natch is starred as Luigi Vasco and Alan Reed as Vascole. Jody Gilbert as Rosa. Mary Schiff as Miss Faulding. Joe Forte as Horowitz. Tim Peters as Olsen. Ed Max as The Bum and Herb Butterfield as Mr. Orr. The music comes under the direction of Love Bluskin. This is Charles Lyon. This is CBS Radio Network.