 Item number SCP-938-J Object Class, Safe Keter Reclassification Pending Special Containment Procedures SCP-938-J is currently housed at Site 48. The object is to be kept in a Level 1 containment locker. Access is granted to all personnel of Site 48. Description SCP-938-J is an indestructible, standard digital alarm clock developed by the Timelink company. Though it possesses standard buttons for an alarm clock otherwise, there is no visible control to switch off the alarm. SCP-938-J functions like a normal alarm clock, even without batteries. The only anomalous property that is known occurs when a subject is 10 meters from the object while in REM sleep. Usually, subjects that are having a dream, see Footnote 1, will be disrupted by SCP-938-J at 6.10 a.m. by a digital chime that plays a version of Frejaka, with several notes arbitrarily off-key. The volume is unpredictable but has been as high as 90 decibels. In 100% of all cases, subjects will be enraged by SCP-938-J and will attempt to destroy the object because of SCP-938-J's chime. The only known method to turn off the alarm of SCP-938-J after it has been activated is to engage in Procedure 421 Tantalus. Procedure 421 Tantalus, Step 1. Subject will hit the snooze button no more and no less than 15 times. Step 2. Subject will deposit three drops of blood onto the clock face. Step 3. Subject will recite the phrase, with correct diction, schnut flier dog lock, fatren ar doas doach, uaah! See Footnote 2. If Procedure 421 Tantalus fails, the alarm will gradually decrease in volume over three hours until it becomes silent. Subjects who have failed Procedure 421 Tantalus report having the alarm's iteration of Frejaka stuck in their head for the following week. Interview Log, 938-4-J Interviewed, D1169 Interviewer, Dr. Smith Forward, Dr. Smith plans to debrief D1169 after testing with SCP-938-J So, D1169, could you describe the events before the alarm clock woke you up? Well, I had this awesome dream. I was at the beach surrounded by these hot babes, you know. Man, it was awesome. I was using the corpses of a bunch of dictators as a couch, and they were all praising how I managed to kill them with only a toothpick and all American ingenuity. So, what happened after that? The damn alarm clock just started making noise. I tried turning the damn thing off, but it just kept buzzing. Now that stupid song's stuck in my head. Fucking earworm. How does the song go? Uh... Of my ears, bottom's clear. D1169 dies of a sudden rectal hemorrhage. Addendum. An autopsy of D1169 revealed that, upon death, his body had anomalously been filled with carnivorous worms wearing what appeared to be French berets. Keter reclassification pending. Footnotes. One. All dreams are reported to be enjoyable to the subject, i.e. achievement, a pleasing memory, etc. Two. The phrase is Old High Addendum Sarkic, and literally translates to, I will defecate on time itself until it becomes my wife.