 Sword and Shield, the games based off the greatest weapon pairing of all time is out and you know what that means, time to catch a metric truck ton of Far Fetch and evolve them into the chattest, baddest, raddest Pokémon of all Pokémon. Welcome to a crap guide to getting a surf-fetched. First thing you're gonna do is find a Far Fetched. After beating the thickest boy in town, head to Route 5, where the tall grass is looming with the duckers. If you're in Shield, then you're out of luck because I was gonna say, trade it from a friend with sword, but we all know that requires friends. If you want multiple ducks and don't want to waft through all the wabs, there's a daycare conveniently nearby and you can breed a female with anything with a flying or field egg root. Your easiest choices are likely a Rook-a-Dee or a thick, cheeky nut boy. Now that you have your Fardo in order to evolve it, it needs to land three critical hits in a single battle, which is hard to do without killing the enemy when you're as chad and meta-breaking as this buff-ass bird. First thing you're gonna need is a leak, boost the rate of critical hits and can be found held by wild Far Fetch or stolen from somebody with a copy of sword after you beat them up and stole their Switch because remember, only friends give you free leaks. Once you have a leak or the focus energy, technical record, you get from the NPC by the record store in Motorstoke. No wonder it's closed down, how are you supposed to do business selling records when wankers like this bloke are giving them out for free? Train your way cooler ducklet to a level around 20 to 25, make sure it has peck, sand attack, and rock smash. The fourth slot can be a stupid move nobody uses, like Stealth Rock, and head to the Galar Mine number two because we're gonna take a big number two on the number two of the entire Pokemon Kingdom, Stun Fist. Your Far Fetch will take a look at the moldy pizza and go, I'm gonna put some dirt in your eye. Which is your cue to start spamming sand attacks until it gets more blind than a romantically hopeless anime protagonist. Once it's in a cycle of blind flailing, this is your chance to peck the ever-living heck out of Stun Fisk. It's a pretty tanky Pokemon and being steel type means peck will only slowly massage it to death, or painfully torture it depending on your perspective of how it feels to be stabbed by the Angry Bird. Keep your fetchmen healthy when the occasional attack from the enemy lands and you should eventually get your three crits. After you do, make sure to finish it off with a rock smash because it won't count if you pansy out and run away like a fire type sweeper after somebody sneezes on it. Watch the pretty particle effects and you have the Chattis of the Braddis to totally annihilate the Galar region. Now you know how to get surfetched, you're welcome.