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Funny Fan Fantasies #5 Pt. 2 - "I Now Pronounce You Mr. and Mrs. Jonas"

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Uploaded on Sep 19, 2008

Ashley slaps Sharon and stands up. "Sharon I'm leaving. You're ridiculous." Ashley apologizes to the audience and exits the theater.
"Well, it's her loss," Sharon says and turns back to the movie. Joe and his wife are exchanging vows. "She's lying to him," Sharon thinks to herself. "She'll leave him once he is done with his career. This is a forced marriage. I know it. She probably threatened with him with burnt waffles or something. That dumb HOE!" Joe slips the ring onto his wife's finger. "That should be going on MY finger," exclaims Sharon. "The Wife" slips the ring on Joe's finger, replacing his purity ring. Sharon screams, "That is the ugliest ring I've ever seen in my life. Joe CANNOT wear that! I bet you she got that ring out of a quarter machine. She's such a cheap dirt bag." Oh no! Theyre gonna kiss. "NOOOO!" cries Sharon. Joe and his wife share a very passionate kiss. "That skank! What is she trying to do? Suck his soul out? She's a demon I tell you. A DEMON!"
The usher comes down the aisle and stops next to Sharon. "If you don't quiet down, I'm going to have to ask you to leave."
"Okay. I'm sorry," Sharon apologizes.

Joe and his wife run down the aisle and jump into the JB tour bus with Kevin, Nick, Frankie, and their parents. The bus drives off, heading for the reception where JB will perform songs from their new album, "Superstar." (my friend made it up) The newlywed couple walks into the reception and the paparazzi goes crazy. "I bet she's gonna post all this on her MySpace pics," Sharon whispers. It's time for the first dance. They play a recording of an old skool song by JB called Lovebug. "OMJ! What is she doing?! She looks like a walrus trying to dance! She's stepping all over him! She's going to ruin his Nikes! Let him lead, you dumb klutz!"

"She's dancing perfectly," a young girl says. "Now would you please be quiet?"
"Are you blind?! She's totally taking advantage of him! She's making him look terrible!" screams Sharon.
The usher runs down to Sharon. "Ma'am. PLEASE be quiet."
"Whatever," replies Sharon. She calms down to watch the movie. Oh great. Cake time. He'll feed her. She'll feed him. Ugh.

"The Wife" picks up the large knife. "OMG," Sharon screams. "She's going to try to murder him! Joe married a serial killer!" Joe places his hand over hers and they cut a small piece out of the HUGE cake. Joe cutely pops a small piece of cake into her mouth, so he doesn't mess up her make-up. What a gentleman. "The Wife" grabs a piece of cake and gently puts it in Joe's mouth, the same way as he did. "What a killer! She's totally going to choke him! Did you see how she jammed it down his throat?!? What a whore!"
"She's not doing ANYTHING wrong so stop hating on her. God, youre a very jealous little girl", and audience member says to Sharon.
Sharon, very offended, slumps down in her seat and watches the film. JB performs some of their new songs and Joe and his wife do an interview. So do Nick and Kevin. After the reception, Joe, his wife, Nick, Kevin, Kevin Sr., and Denise thank everyone for coming out.

Joe, his wife, and his family load into the tour bus and drive away. The lights in the theater turn on, the ending credits scroll the screen, and people get up to leave. Sharon sits slumped in her seat. "I'm going on MySpace when I get home and I'm adding that douche bag of a wife to my friends. She'll be sorry she ever laid eyes on my Joe Jonas." Sharon drives home and turns on her computer. She goes onto Joe's MySpace and sees HER as his #1. Now that she's on his top, it kicks Sharon down to Joe's #41. Right out of the top 40. This infuriates Sharon. "The Wife" is online. Sharon adds her to her friends. As soon as "The Wife" accepts her, she goes to her page and there it is. "The Wife's" blog. On it is every detail of what her and Joe do. "Oh no!" Sharon cries. "She's a BLOGGER! A true DIRTY GIRL. Joe needs to know about this." Sharon looks up Joe's number in the Yellow book. She calls the number. "Hello? Is Joe home?"
"Yeah but he's in the TV room," says a voice.
"Who is this?" Sharon asks.
"This is Nick." Sharon goes silent.
"Oh... uh... um... can I please talk to Joe? This is Sharon. It's kinda important."
"Uh, yeah. Hold up. Lemme go get him really fast."

Part 3 in a few!

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