 This week I want to discuss five reasons why it is difficult to let go of toxic relationships. Now if you are new to this go ahead and subscribe, do the notification bell, leave a comment, do all the things that you know us youtubers love that helps the show. I'm going to be doing a lot of these. This is all brand new so I hope you enjoy the content and if you have more that you want to add to this list put it in the comments below. I'd love to hear your thoughts. We've all been in relationships that have soured that had not gone to where we need them to be and they started to be detrimental. We have found ourselves in a difficult situation of carrying on those relationships too far. I know that I've been in some relationships that have run their course and that I had beat into the ground only because of these reasons that I'm going to mention. So number one you've invested a lot of time and energy. No one wants to invest in something and not get anything out. It is almost like the one-armed bandit at a slot machine. The more money you dump in the more you expect to hit the big prize. Also once they've run their course the more you try to get out what you're putting in the more detrimental effect that they will have on your life. Sometimes you're just going to have to cut your losses and move on. Number two you've rationalized your trajectory your goals the path that you are going to take through life as the correct one. Because you've done this work you know what you want you want people to go along with you and it's a bit selfish because well you don't want to be alone so you're going to assume and want somebody to follow your path the one that you've chosen in life and for them to give up on theirs. Anytime that you have choices in the direction that you're going to take in life you've put yourself at your own crossroads and sometimes taking the path less traveled or the one that you want involves you taking those steps by yourself. That's incredibly difficult it's scary we're herd animals you know we're always looking for other people's approval to let us know that the directions a path that we are going to travel in life is the correct one. The reality is it's a risk it's always a risk life in and itself is a risk and you're going to have to sacrifice compromise and give up a lot of things in order to reach your goals. It is incredibly selfish for you to expect somebody to go along with you just so that you have company. Number three this brings us to what we were just speaking about which is being alone. Isolation leads to depression and depression is one of the number one epidemics that all of us are facing as human beings. In fact the more we seem to be connected the more we seem to be isolated. With isolation we're unable to get the attention approval and acceptance that we need to fires off our dopamine receptors our oxytocin in order for us to have those good feeling chemicals. Without oxytocin without dopamine we tend to feel bad we're upset oxytocin is the love drug it allows us to feel connected it allows us to feel appreciated if we're not getting that oxytocin dose that's going to lead us into depression because of the isolation that we feel. Number four you've become accustomed to those friends being there you have a routine of any time that you're going to go out something happens to you you have a difficult decision to make in life there is drama surrounding you you're going to reach out and you have specific people who have been there for you that have allowed you to feel good working through those problems in life to not have those people goes back to feeling alone and not having the chemicals that we need in order to feel good about our path we've made habits and routines engage with those people that allow us to feel that we're certainly not alone. Number five they have become a measuring stick to which we measure ourselves comparing and contrasting in life to figure out where we are we are herd animals and because of that we need the other herd animals around us to let us know where we are in the pecking order of that herd if we're up into the front well then we're expected to lead and we have all the other herd animals looking at us if we get too far behind we are at risk of isolation and getting lost so we tend to put ourselves in the middle where we feel the most safe they've become that measuring stick that allows us to feel safe and secure and what's interesting about this because we're herd animals we tend to get lost and we're only able to move with that herd it's difficult for us to see all the way up front but yet when we see all the other animals moving we see our friends moving in certain directions without thinking about it it is easier for us just to follow that crowd and following that crowd does have its benefits it's less on a on our cognitive processes but it also puts us in a position where we're unable to choose the direction that we're going in as we are following that herd if you do not have the right friends around you well then you are going to follow that crowd and if you don't put yourself into a crowd that has heightened goals aspirations and a trajectory well then we're cutting ourselves short and because we're cutting ourselves short we're unable to find out what we're truly capable of if we put ourselves into a crowd that has goals and aspirations that are higher than ours well then we are going to find ourselves reaching out working to the best of our ability rising to the level of our incompetence and gaining new skills that make us better whereas if we do not put ourselves in that situation we are surrounding ourselves with people who don't have those aspirations well we're going to tend to live a humdrum life where we don't have to challenge ourselves very much our comfort then becomes our own prism as i've gotten older i had certainly been in and out of many social circles throughout my life especially with the career choices that i've had i've never found it easy to let go of friends but i've also had to realize what my path trajectory was what it would take for me to get there and then my own level of well-being if i found my happiness has been hindered due to that social circle then it certainly becomes a lot easier to give that up where i'm going to look into the future of the goals that i have the aspirations that i want to meet and the happiness and fulfillment that i want to achieve that is going to allow me to make better decisions rather than the old measuring stick and complacency of an old social circle that isn't benefiting me all right guys well that's my video listen if you dug what i had to say make sure you subscribe to the channel hit the notification bell and if you have anything to add to the list throw in the comments below and we'll see you guys next week cheers