 Mary Livingston, Phil Harris, Rochester, Larry Stevens, and yours truly, Don Wolf. What do you think of Texas Sandman, Rochester? He stands a pretty good chance, boss. Yeah. How about Surty? A mighty good horse. The shame that, the shame that Butcher is out of the race, he would have been a heavy favor. Uh-huh. Gee, she'd have been a cinch. Wait a minute, boss. In horse racing, there's no such thing as a cinch. Really, remember what happened to me last year when I bet on a cinch? Didn't he win? Win, and he came in last. When he finally did finish, he was disqualified for not having a jockey. You mean the jockey was thrown off? No, he's just look at the racing for me. I don't know. I still like that long shot, Ligaro, honey. Oh, no, boss. You just catch the Sandman. He's by shifting sands the second out of Swamp Queen. Oh, you mean his mother and father? I still like Ligaro's honey. But, boss, take a horse like Surty. He's by a meal deal, there's no out of risky mess. Oh. What about Ligaro, honey? He's an awesome. Barbara Stanwyck, and she's doing all right. She won the Daily Double Indemnity. Double Indemnity. Oh, boy, that was good. I wish Miss Livingston and Mr. Harris were here to hear that one. Yeah, I wish it was anybody but me. Good horses this race. Paper boy, bull ray, best effort, challenge me. Hello, Jack. Hello, Jack. I don't see that here. Jack, I said hello. Sorry, but I'm trying to pick a horse in the big race tomorrow. Oh, Jack, you shouldn't go to the races. You're such a hard loser. I am not. Go on, last year when you went to the track, you had a vial of poison strapped to your leg. Vial of poison, vial of poison. You're so clever. Say, Rochester, here's a horse. Oh, say, Jack, I got a letter from Mama. She said she heard last week's program and thought it was great. She did? Yeah. She thought Ingrid Bergman was wonderful the way she played gaslight. Well, she was. And Papa said you were as well as Charles Boyer. Good. What did Mama say to that? Nothing. She just gave Papa some black coffee and put him to bed. Your mother wouldn't even like me if I was good. Now, here's a horse called Shuffle that you know, Mary, I never saw anyone like your mother. She hates me and I do everything in the world for her. I remember her on Christmas, her birthday, Mother's Day. What about that ocean trip I offered her to go to Europe? A fine offer. You told her to join the wax. She couldn't pass her physical. It's not my fault. She challenged me, sickle's choice. That's a good one. I'll tell you another thing, Mary. If your mother doesn't change her attitude toward me, I'm going to stop sending her my old slaps. She's sickle's choice, challenge me. Now, Jack, Mama, all. Wait a minute. Let me see. I wonder how much weight she carries. 240 pounds. I'm not talking about your mother. Anyway, if you'd taken some of that off, she would have passed her physical. Come in. You write a letter to your mother, tell her the. Hi, Larry. Hello, Mr. Benny. Hello, Larry. How's married life? Oh, fine, except that my wife can't cook very well. What do you mean? Well, we had some people over for dinner two weeks ago, and I don't think the meal agreed with them. Why would they say? Nothing. They're still sitting there. Hey, sickle's choice. Mr. Benny, are we going to rehearse for the program? As soon as the rest of them get here. Then I'll go in by the piano and rehearse my song, Navajo Trail. OK, OK. Sickle's choice, challenge me. Corbett's writing Georgie Drum. Peterson's writing. Please find me wishing on a store. Unform five times, and I think you're right. It looks like Texas Sandman all of Texas Sandman. I'm going out there to Mara and put $2. You can give me your dollar now, Rochester. It comes to an end tomorrow. It's OK with me. I've seen everything. What did you say, Mary? Nothing, nothing, nothing. Now, Rochester, when I go to the track tomorrow, I'm going to wear my brown tweed suit. Is it pressed? Yes, sir. Good. By the way, I found out about you wearing my gray suit Wednesday night when I was out. Me? Yes, I found out all about it, and I'll admit it. You did wear it, didn't you? Rochester, my parrot doesn't spy on you. Then how come? The rest of the gang will be here soon. We're going to rehearse in the library. So be sure there are plenty of chairs in there. OK. Tell the boss everything he sees. I wonder how long you'd have to cook a parrot before it's tender. Dusty in here. Guess I'd better be watching me. I'd better get busy or you'll say you boys are a little late. It's my fault, Jack, all about the time. Little daughter the other day, and that baby is sure growing. She looks just like Alice. You ain't kidding, Mary. Last night, she put on Alice's high-heeled shoes and one of her long dresses, and I couldn't tell them apart. Well, it was the kid or the nurse. Somebody went with me. You'd have let me be Charles Boyer in that sketch with Ingrid Bergman. Oh, fine. Fatté Boyer. Yeah, let's get started. The band picks up right after the commercial. He's a field to trees with rare and magic perfume all. I say, thank you, thank you. Hello again, this is Jack Benny talking, and say, Mary, did you have a good time at the races yesterday? Go ahead, Mary, you've got the next line. Oh, Jack, I don't want to do that corny joke. It's awful. It is not awful. Just listen the way it sounds. You say, did you have a good time at the races, Mary? And then I have to say, well, yes, except for the horse I bet on was so slow, the jockey had to get off and bush her. Did you get it, Phil? Yeah, I got it all over. No one says about you is right. Let's not talk anymore about Boston's half-baked bean. We've got to get on with it. Oh, there's a pole. We can never finish a rehearsal. What's your mommy called your daddy? The check he gave me is no good. Nothing wrong, is there, Phil? No. Sit down, we're rehearsing. That's all right. The butcher Joe can go on with it. I'm almost 37. Turner, go out with me. I should. How can I look like 25? What? Now come on, kids, let's finish the rehearsal. I hope I get a good night's sleep. That feels good. Well, I might as well take my shoes off. This little piggy went to market. Too old for that. I was 25 for a few minutes there. Say, I wonder if... Where's the mirror? Say, I don't look so bad with this towel around my head. I'm the sheik of Arabi. Lana's love belongs to me. I better turn out the light to get the better. See, I hope I do well at the track tomorrow. I think Rochester was right. Texas Sandman looks like a good bet. Of course, there's so many good horses that Ray, she can't sell. Are you with it? That's a good show bet. Surgey, Sickle's Choice. First, unchallenge me. And just to ensure it, I paid $2 on Texas Sandman to show. Challenge me as a horse. Who you betting on, Mary? I put $50,000 on rinse of white. Mary, a whole week's salary. Oh, Jack, look! Look, Benny, named after me. Hey, Jackson, who you betting on in the 56 race? Well, I'm thinking of Gypsy Rose Lee. So am I, but who you betting on? I must mark that down. The WLXTYGR. Isn't there an E in it? There's a poor busher. She can't be in the race because of a lame leg. Yeah, isn't that a shame? I'm going over and give her a lump of sugar. Hello, busher old girl in the race. How do you feel, busher? Lousy. Hey, busher, I put $85,000 on challenge me. What do you think of his chances? With me out, they've all got a chance. I guess so. Well, goodbye, busher. I'll see you at Claudette's on New Year's. Sorry she hurt her foot there. No horses are on. I've been, gosh, what a dream that was. Oh, Rochester! Rochester, quick! Give me a sleeping pill. I've got to find out who won. I think it's terrible. Well, that's all right, Mary. I don't want to hurt busher's feelings, anyway. She told me she feels awful. What? Busher told me that. Oh, never mind. Never mind. Good night, folks.