 Hey there everybody. Welcome back to a new video in quarantine with the slackens. I'm Rick the slacken I'm so much like and we're still here Still here here before you and we'd like to talk about a question that we got from a few actually a few couples asked this question about Their spouse not really taking the quarantine seriously if we do want to share a little bit about what yeah Let's just say it's a husband. That's not taking it seriously. So Maybe he's not watching his hands as as much as you would like to see or he's going out and about grocery shopping or just Driving or I don't know if he's an essential employee and he's going to work And then when he comes home, you're concerned or maybe he's not even working and he's just not really taking it seriously He's going for a run. He's going to do this and then when he comes home You're worried about having to sanitize everything and you don't obviously want him to infect everyone in the house And it's a real concern because on the one hand, you might be coming across like a nag and you feel like you're complaining and being nitpicky But the same time this virus has proven to be very contagious So all family members and that these these quarantine and social distancing requirements have proven to be effective right and even if you don't pass it on to your family if you're going out in public and they're elderly people or people who will come In contact with elderly people or people who are at risk who supposed to be staying home. Anyway, but you just never know So you really your decision is impacting many people, right? So how can you communicate that to your spouse without Coming across like a panic or a nag so he or she can take it seriously So we're gonna we're gonna role play a little bit like a made-up scenario Yeah, we'll just take a minute. It won't be long We'll just show you some with suggestions for how we think it might be more helpful to share your feelings with your partner If it hasn't worked thus far, but I'm gonna be the person that's resisting the quarantine rules Cuz I tend to resist rules as it is and Shlomo who's a great role follower will be the one who has the concern with me Right and we're gonna kind of do something that you can learn and learn and take for yourself I mean if you really want to learn a real structured way of communication and that we teach couples in the dialogue process That's for there are other resources for that But just kind of doing this on your own what you can do and apply the best you can to maybe make it a little bit safer For your spouse to be able to hear your concerns. I'm gonna just show you that Rift but do you have a moment? I wanted to share something with you Yeah Well, I'm really worried about you going out and about during this quarantine No, we're not supposed to really go anywhere and there's nothing really we need out out of the house and we can get basically everything we need online So I really would prefer that you not go out and concerned about the safety your safety the safety of others and Our family I mean you don't know what's gonna happen I mean you could go out there and pick it up and nobody knows about it for two weeks It's not like you feel it right away. So it's a very scary scary kind of thing. I Guess I just don't see what the big deal is like I'm not breathing on anyone They're not breathing on me. I'm not touching doorknobs. I'm washing my hands Like going outside for a run and then coming back like it's not that big of a deal. It's outside I don't really see what the big deal is. Well, I guess more like still going to stores like the grocery store for example Things like that, right, but we do need groceries at times Right, I mean we could get them online Yeah, I guess so you just feel like it's not a big deal because you're trying to take all the precautions that you need Yeah Well, I don't know if there's anything that you could do to kind of just just to help me because I'm really anxious about it And I really just I don't feel comfortable if you're not going out for anything That's the central and if you want to go walk around the block or run That's fine But in terms of going into a store where that where you're going to get potentially come in contact with other people They can't always remember every single second that we're going to touch the door or not It's just easier like if I know that You're home and you're safe That will be better Okay, that makes sense So is that something we can kind of work on and be happy to work to think about like what we can do to make it easier You know for you to be able to Yeah, because I need a break like I can't just be with everybody on top of me all the time So I definitely do need help with that So we can think about yeah, maybe we can brainstorm together ways that we can Give you what you need, but also make sure that we're all safe and protected Okay So you'll notice slow mo did a few things there one is he made an appointment with me to talk He said it was only going to be a minute because I didn't want to be tied down as you could see When I said I only had a minute to talk so he asked for an appointment to talk He let me know it was only going to be a couple minutes Um and then he shared personally why it was important to him Out of you know love for his family Rather than you know complaining and blaming me and giving examples of instances. I didn't listen I mean can you feel guilty? Right, right So and I also Validated your concerns instead of just We're running them and are doing with you right and that that was helpful because you know the person that's going out a lot Obviously doesn't want to feel suffocated by being in the house with everybody there And that's probably what they're feeling and so Acknowledging that and then like he said could we come up with some strategies for how to give you that space? So you don't feel like everybody's on top of you But still be part of the quarantine process that was helpful to someone like me who feels you know suffocated and pressured Trying to get your partner like on the same team and working together with you You know as opposed to something you're imposing on them I think that's good. We'd love to hear your feedback after watching the video If this was helpful not helpful how your spouse reacted any tweaks Um that you might need for your unique situation What you can do is you can you can actually text us 4 4 3 5 7 0 7 5 9 8 that will be a real quick way we can respond to you in your needs right now Wait stay safe and better not to go out And thanks for watching if you have any questions, please feel free to text us again 4 4 3 5 7 0 7 5 9 8 We'd love to create the next video for you based on your specific situation. Take care. Take care. Bye. Bye