 I'm the Comic Weekly Man, the Jolly Comic Weekly Man, and I'm here to read the funnies to you happy boys and honeys. Yes, boys and girls, it's Comic Weekly Time. And here I come right into your house to bring a little fun and happiness. Right out of the pages of Puck the Comic Weekly, straight into your living room, you're friend, the Comic Weekly Man, the Jolly Comic Weekly Man. Hello, hello, hello. Hello, hello, hello. No one here to listen to me today? All right. Yes, I'll just have to run along. Goodbye, no one. April Fool, I'm here. April Fool, I just left. Well, come back again, please, and read me the funnies. April Fool, I will. I knew you were just playing with me. Oh, yes, April Fool's a good game, isn't it? Yes, I had lots of fun. I fooled lots of people. Oh, good for you. And now let's fool around with the funnies. All right, please. All right. I'll read Puck the Comic Weekly in just a moment. But first, let's listen to this nice man. Now, here we go with Puck the Comic Weekly. And on the first page, Hop along Cassidy. And that we'll read right now. Magic words for the music, please. Very well, my lady. Six guns blazing as he thunders along. Give us music for Hop along. Hoppy, California, and Lucky have been put in jail by the sheriff of Rio Vista on a charge of kidnapping Don Raymond's boy, Felipe. No one will believe Hoppy's story that he saved Felipe from outlaws. In the meantime, Slot and his gang have stirred up the citizens of Rio Vista. And they've all marched on the jail in an endeavor to break it open and hang Hoppy in his pals without a trial. The sheriff steps out in front of the jail, faces the huge mob of men, and asks the ringleader, What's wanted, gents? The spokesman for the lynching crowd replies, Cassidy and his two sidekicks, we don't like Mavericks or their cut wasting the taxpayers' money on long trials. We're taking the prisoners of your hands, sheriff. The sheriff replies, whoever put you up to this had been reading the wrong law books. Mine doesn't favor lynching. Now scatter. One of the men in the crowd yells, You heard his answer. What are we going to do about it? Either the sheriff unlocks the door or we better it in. But the sheriff doesn't give in. He lives up to his duty to defend the men in his jail until they're proven guilty, a thing any honest sheriff will do. Some of the men in the crowd take a huge log and begin to batter against the door. The sheriff slips inside the jail. He tells Hoppy and his pals in the third picture in the third row, I'm turning you loose for your own protection, quick, out the back door. First picture next row, Hoppy, lucky in California, open the back door and start to slip out. When a shot nicks the wall right above California's ear, he shouts, get back, we gotta surround him. Hoppy steps back in, takes a quick look around, and sees the doors beginning to crack. He sees a trap door in the roof. Hoppy exclaims, the roof, it's our only chance. He leaps on the desk and draws himself up through the trap door. The sheriff says, your horses are in the side alley. If you can make it. Hoppy pulls himself up through the trap door, gives lucky in California a hand. And first picture next row, they quietly slip over to the edge of the roof, then let themselves down to the ground. And first picture bottom row, they're on their horses, galloping off, unnoticed by the mob. As they reach the edge of the town, Hoppy says, well, whoever stirred up that lynch movement is afraid of us. Lucky replies, yeah, I wonder what they'll try next, Hoppy. Last picture, they approach a sign which reads, non-remost Madeira property to be sold this Wednesday at public auction, by order of Prentiss Vane, tax assessor, Rio Vista. So that's sure to help Hoppy and his friends escape. It certainly was, because lynching is against the law. You know, one of the wonderful things about this country is that every man has the right to a fair trial. And these people were not going to give Hoppy a fair trial. They were going to hang him. And if they had, they would have hanged an innocent man. And anyone who'd do that, well, they're just as bad as a criminal themselves. I'm glad you feel that way. Yes, so am I, because it is wrong. It's just as bad as being bad. And next week, we'll find out whether Hoppy will find a way to save Don Ramos from having to sell his ranch. Oh, I hope he does. So do I. Now? Now I think it's time for Prince Vane, isn't it? I think he's on page three. All right, let's turn over the page and see. All right. Yes, here he is, just like I said. I'm anxious to know how Prince Vane is, because when we left him last week, he was high up on a mountain, and he had to sleep there all night in the cold in his wet clothes. Had it trying to escape from the barbarians who were after him, Val climbed to a high ledge on the mountain. And there, wrapped in the chamois skins, he settled down for the night. Now let's find out what happens next, with Prince Valiant in the days of King Arthur. Hecket, bracket, gray, mulk, and in quince, music romantic for a fair, fair prince. Don comes, and Prince Valiant crawls stiffly from his snow cave. He survived the bitter night, but in the valley below, the wanderers are already stirring. Val looks down and sees the barbarians trying to get to the place where he is. A crust has formed in the snow overnight, and they begin cutting steps upward. He might halt them by throwing down the game they demand, but he knows full well a piece of them despite a temporary measure. But Val has one advantage. Shooting downward, he can use the hunter's crouch, showing only his head. While his foes must stand erect to give full power to their bows. Last picture, Val holds his enemy off with a few well-aimed arrows, but the enemy keeps shooting at him, so Val has to stay in this one spot. He had hoped to cross the snow slope while it was still firm, but first picture next row, the whistling arrows keep him pinned to the ledge. Now, under the noonday sun, the snow threatens to avalanche. That means the snow slides down the mountain, carrying everything before it. And Val repeats the word in his mind, avalanche. He looks toward the slope that it creviced under his weight last evening, and thinks if he can shake that snow loose and start a snow slide, it might sweep down on the barbarians below and rid him of his enemy. Last picture of the row, he picks up a huge rock. Then heaves it right into the middle of the ledge of snow hanging in the lip of the cliff. First picture, bottom row, a few tons do slide, all follow. And then as Val watches in horror, the snow far up the mountain side, buckles, heaves, then roars down where the force nothing can withstand. Defend, blinded by flying snow, his clothing rent by the terrific wind, Val clings to his shuddering ledge. The valley can be seen packed from side to side with snow. The enemy can be seen no more. The snow is taken care of them. Val's shoulders is packed, and carrying the skins heads back to the monastery where the monks and his friends are waiting. Because he didn't have enough arrows maybe to fight so many barbarians. No, he might have been there a long time before he got free without the aid of nature. Yes. I wonder if he'll get back to the monastery. All right. Well, we'll find out next week. All right. Now read me down a doc, please. I'd be delighted to. So let's turn over the page. And there on page five under little iodine is Donald Duck. Say the magic words with me. Squeegeum, squeegeum, squeegee, chicka-chack. Let's have music to be a quack-quack. Donald has built a funny-looking contraption and is about to climb up on the roof with it. Daisy, his girlfriend, who has stopped by, asks him what he's doing. He replies, I'm going to do my bit to rid the air of our fair city of smoke, smog, and suit. Daisy exclaims. With that thing, exactly. That is the D Duck, the smogger. Well, I bet you a chicken dinner doesn't work. That's a bit. So Daisy goes along into her shopping as Donald climbs up through the roof with his de-smogger, which he hopes will get rid of the suit and smog, which is pouring out of his chimney. Up on the roof, Donald puts his de-smogger on the chimney. And what do you know? Well, no smoke. Second picture, bottom row. Daisy, through with her shopping, is back at Donald's house. She looks up at the chimney and exclaims. Well, my crazy is not a bit of smoke. She goes up to the door saying. Well, for months, I'll have to apologize. So Donald opens the door. And a cloud of smoke pours out in Daisy's face. She blinks her eyes and sees Donald hidden in the smoke, and he exclaims. Well, toots, you owe me a chicken dinner. I'll claim a chicken dinner. It didn't work. No, it didn't work in the way Donald expected it to. But none of the smoke went out of the house into the city. That's why Donald figures he has the dinner coming. You see, he kept all of the smoke in his house. Oh, that Donald, he does the craziest things. Yes, that's why he's so much fun. Yes, and speaking of funny people, let's see what Dag was up to today. Very well, let's turn to the first page of the second section of Puck the Comic Weekly. Here it is. And here we go with Dag-Win and Blondie. Ram-a-foo, Ram-a-fum, Zim-Zam-Zombie. Conjuring music for Dag-Win and Blondie. Dag-Win receives a telegram, and he reads it to Blondie. Hey, the committee wants me to be a judge at the All-American Beauty Contest tonight. Blondie tells him that they have another date tonight. And she suggests that he asks his boss, Mr. Dithers, to judge the beauty contest. So first picture, second row, Donald asks Mr. Dithers if he'd care to judge the beauty contest. And Mr. Dithers drops on one knee, kisses Dag-Win's hand, and says, of course, dear boy, with pleasure. And I'm so grateful to you for asking me. Dagward comes home and says to Blondie, hey, he was delighted. That'll put me in good with him. And Blondie says, maybe Mr. Dithers will probably give him a raise for that. And Dagward beams at the thought of more money. Last picture of the row, Mr. Dithers is in a store. He has several clerks dashing around waiting on him. And Dithers says, I want a new suit, shirt, tie, socks, hat, and gloves. First picture next row, Dithers is in a barber shop with a beautiful girl manufacturing his nails. The barber giving him a shave, and a man giving him a shine. And Dithers says, give me the works. A haircut, shave, shine, and manicure. A little later in his new clothes and with his face and shoes polished as high as an apple, Dithers comes to the hall where the beauty contest is going to be held. And when he thinks of all the beautiful girls he's going to see, Dithers says, oh, the sweetest job a man can get is to judge a beauty contest. Oh, boy, here goes. Last picture of the row, he comes up to the judging committee. A prissy lady nods, and a mousy man says, oh, we're so glad to have you as judge. And Dithers plucks his tongue and says, get out the small talk and bring on the beautiful girls. First picture bottom row, the man says timidly, oh, it's not girls you to judge, Mr. Dithers. Oh, no, no, no. It's all American roses. Dithers claps his hand to his head and screeches. Roses. A little later, Dithers carrying four plants of roses is ringing Dagwit's doorbell. He's as furious as a hungry lion in an empty town on Saturday night. Dagwit opens the door, and Dithers plops the four roses on Dagwit's head and walks off. A second time, Dithers says, oh, A second later, Blondie comes running up when she asks Dagwit if Dithers said anything about a raise. And Dagwit moans, no, not a raise. Poor Dagwit. Well, I don't think Mr. Dithers had any business sitting in with those flower pots. Neither do I. He should have used a feather duster instead. And that wouldn't hurt. That would just tickle. Yes. That's a good way to punish somebody, just tickle them until they laugh. Mr. Dithers certainly was disappointed when he didn't see the pretty girl. I'm afraid you'll have to go to a musical in the movie. I'm afraid so. Now? Oh, look, underneath Dagwit and Blondie. There's Roy Rogers. So it is. And I'll read that in just a moment. But first, here's that nice man again with something interesting to say. Now, here we go again with Puck the Comic Weekly. And on the first page of the second section, Roy Rogers, King of the Cowboys. Magic words for the music, please. A yip-a-yo. Now, here we go with Roy and Trigger. A yip-a-yo. Day of the Wild West show, when everybody in town is waiting for the show to begin. After rescuing his friend Dangerfield from the wild bull, Roy has discovered Handel's Baldwin, the escaped convict, who was sworn to get him. As Roy goes for him, Baldwin runs for a bronc standing nearby and leaps in the saddle. Cowboy yells, hey, get off that bronc. He's trained to work on the arena. The bronc runs for the main entrance of the ring. Roy leaps in the saddle saying, after him, Trigger, we've got a hogtie that escaped convict before he starts a panic. The bronc bunks his way into the center of the ring. Roy loses his larriette saying, somebody's going to get hurt, sure if that man kill and jog Ed don't stop swallowing his tail. Then with one quick flip, last picture, he snags the bronc's legs, tripping him to the ground and throwing Baldwin. Roy leaps out of the saddle saying, Brace Trigger, keep the bronc on a mischief while I take care of Baldwin. First picture bottom row, he runs for Baldwin, who tries to get away with a quick tackle. Roy brings them to the ground. As Dangerfield exclaims, Bravo! Handel's Baldwin is captured. He'll be delivered to the sheriff as I predicted. A moment later, the sheriff, who happens to be in the grandstand, comes into the ring. And Roy turns Baldwin over to him. As the sheriff says, nice work, Rogers. I'll handle him now. Dangerfield proudly announces to the audience, don't go away, folks. This is only part of the J. Lucian Dangerfield's stupendous wild wester. Go! Last picture, a little later, Roy on Trigger is leaving the Wild West show, and he says, I reckon we can head for the double R bar and a spell of quiet ports hitting Trigger, huh? Hey, what's this? An old friend comes running to him, shouting, Hey, Roy! Roy Rogers! It's me, the awful Hawkins! That nabbered wait up. He adjusts the humry I'm looking for. It's never going to get home if people keep asking him to help them. No, it looks that way all right. Oh, but wasn't it wonderful the way he snagged that bronc and then tackled Baldwin and hand him over to the sheriff just the way I thought he would? And you were absolutely right about it. Yes. I wonder what's going to happen next. Well, if I know Roy Rogers, it'll be a new adventure. Because he's a hero, and heroes always begin new adventures. Yes, they do. Well, now let's turn over the page and see who. Oh, look, Flash Gordon. And he's come back home to Earth, and everybody gave him a celebration. Yes, he's really a hero. Let's see what they'll do for him today. Very well. Here we go on page two of the second section with Flash Gordon. A regga regga dune dunes. Ask him a tache. Let's have music for heroic flash. Flash's landing in a spaceship has made worldwide headlines. A big banquet is being held in his honor, and a great university has created a new degree for him. A great honor. And they call him Doctor of Astronautics. At this banquet, great scientists have come to meet Flash and to talk interplanetary problems over with him. As the dinner and the speechmaking end, Dr. Bright, the world's leading rocket expert, is talking to Flash. He wants to enter as Flash in some recent meteor disasters, shooting stars that have fallen to Earth with such force that they blow open huge holes in the ground, holes almost large enough to bury a city in. So Flash decides to investigate. Last picture at dawn, Flash and Dale are flying with Dr. Bright to study a meteor crater. Dr. Bright exclaims, we think they come from the moon. One oversized meteor lands every day, too regular for accident. And if one ever hit a city, suddenly there's a blaze of light ahead of them as another shooting star hurtles toward Earth. The pilot gasps, I can't see. Last picture, the meteor lands below them with a huge explosion. The plane rocks in the blast, but Flash grabs the wheel. The white-hot meteor blasts out a giant crater in the countryside, shaking houses and knocking down trees. And Flash grimly agrees with Professor Bright. Yes, we've got to stop this summer. When it fell. Yes, it's almost large enough to blow a city off the Earth. Well, does Dr. Bright think that maybe somebody on the moon is doing this on purpose? I think that's what he suspects. You know, that's your Flash who'll go to the moon to investigate. You know, you're right about that. And we'll find out next week. Oh, I've always wanted to go to the moon and see what it's like ever since I saw the man in the moon. Well, next week we're all going to take a trip to the moon with Flash. So be on hand. I certainly will. And now I think it's time for Dick's adventures. So let's go over to the last page. All right. He's on a ship with John Paul Jones in the early days of America. Yes, during the Revolutionary War, the war with the British. Isn't this exciting to be on board a ship with a famous man like John Paul Jones? Oh, you bet it is. So let's see what happens next with Dick's adventures. Say the magic words with me. Rigiddy pack, kazak, zik. Let's have music for adventure-less dick. It's Midshipman Dick of the armed frigate ranger. For he's back in 1778 with the early United States Navy, raiding commerce along the British shores, while General Washington fights the British on land 3,000 miles away. Dick Skipper is a man named John Paul Jones. And Dick is standing guard in the crow's nest at the top of the mast. Bobbing on the horizon is a patch of white. Dick yells, enemy sail, hold. He clambers down through the maze of rigging like a monkey. Last picture top row, Dick stands beside Captain John Paul's Jones as he looks at the strained vessel through the spyglass. Jones exclaims, this is a drake of His Majesty's fleet. She's been trying for weeks to hunt us down. Dick asks, how we going to fight her, sir? At first picture next row to Dick's keen disappointment, John Paul Jones crowds all sails on the ranger and hoves her off in a contrary direction, explaining to Dick. We'll fight, lad, but not just yet. We've got other work to do. John Paul Jones roves like a wolf, up and down the British coast, striking terror among the ships laden with supplies for the king's men fighting Washington. Jones' idea is to prevent the ships from bringing the supplies, the food and clothing, for the English soldiers, so they won't have ammunition to fight Washington soldiers. And in that way, Washington will be able to win. And Jones is successful, but always he keeps a sharp watch for the huge and furious angry British ships which are on the search for him, and especially Jones watches for the drake, the fast and dreaded fighting ship. Then one night, a huge gale sweeps the seas. And Jones' ship, the ranger, creeps up through the rich port of Whitehaven on the English coast. Jones calls for volunteers to accompany him and set fire to the British ship snugly tied up a dock. Almost every man volunteers, Dick included, and they slip off in the dock to set fire to the English ships riding at anchor. John, Dick, and the volunteers return. The great flame is lighting up the sky over Whitehaven. The men look back and see the burning ships at the dock. Quickly, Jones, as his ship head out to sea again. But last picture, hardly has the ranger got underway again when Dick, looking off, shouts an alarm. The drake, sir. She's found us. Fire to their ships because they'd have to get so close to shore. Yes, and now the drake has sighted them and is coming after them. Do you think there'll be a battle between the ships? We'll see next week. Oh, that's something I can highly wait to see. Well, I'm afraid you'll have to. But here below, Dick's adventures is Rusty Riley. Oh, yes. And do you remember that man named Mr. Smith, who knows that Rusty has the opinion that he but has got to ride in the truck with them? Yes, so we can keep an eye on Rusty and Tech. And last week, Rusty found the airplane ticket that Mr. Smith dropped out of his pocket. And Rusty is very suspicious. Oh, he is indeed. And now on their first day out, they've stopped for the night. So let's see what Tech says to say when Rusty tells him about the ticket. Here we go with Rusty Riley. Gallop and run till the road is dusty. Give us music for his horse and Rusty. As Rusty exercises big blaze, Tech says to Mr. Smith, OK, folks, this looks like a good place to bed down for the night. Smithy, suppose you go over to that farmhouse and ask if it's all right while Rusty walks big blaze for a spell. So Mr. Smith walks off to the farm. Rusty comes over to Tech's and says to him, hey, Tech's, while Smithy is going, I want to tell you something. I picked up this envelope that fell out of Smithy's coat pocket. It had an airplane ticket to Lexington in it. Tech's exclaims, hm. And he begs a ride and no horse fan. Sounds local. As Smithy walks toward the farmhouse, he says to himself, well, somehow or other, I'm going to get that horse painting without them knowing how important it is to me. If I can only get the kid to show it to me, I can make him an offer. That doesn't work. I'll have to do something drastic. A little later, Smithy has come back to Tech's first picture bottom row. And he says, now the owner says it's OK for us to park on his farm for the night. He wants to know if we'd like some dinner. Tech's asked Smithy about the airplane tickets. Smithy replies, second picture bottom row. Oh, that airplane ticket. Well, you see, I had planned to fly, but when I saw your van, I figured I could get a free ride. Tech's looks at him a minute and says thoughtfully, I see. OK, but it did seem loco to prefer a truck to a plane. Well, come on, let's go eat. Later, after a nice dinner at the farmhouse, Tech's is saying to his hosts, we're right, nice of you to give us that fine dinner. We're plumb, grateful, Mr. and Mrs. Jones. Mr. Jones replies, oh, glad to the company. Said a bit and listened to the radio. And he turns on the radio. It is reported that the police of several states have been alerted following the disappearance of the plans for a top secret device, the nature of which is not disclosed. The engineering department of an Eastern aircraft factory states that an employee who has been working for the company for six months and has been working for six months. Smithy, hearing this, quickly walks to the radio and switches it off. Excuse me, he's the one who disappeared with the plans. And I'll bet you that the plans are on the painting that Rusty has. You're almost as smart as a detective. Where do you learn all of this? From my favorite detective, Nick Carter. Well, next week, we'll find out if this gives Tex any ideas about Smithy. Oh, I certainly hope so. So do I. But now that's all the time I have. And don't forget that next week, we'll have a trip to the moon with Flash Gordon. And now before I go, here's that nice fellow with some more interesting information. Well, honey, and all your boys and girls, I've got to go now. All right, Mr. Connick, legally, man. But I'll be waiting for you next week. OK, that's a date. And the date with all your boys and girls, be sure to meet me with a little friend, Miss Honey. Next week, when I read Puck the Comic Weekly. For I'm the Comic Weekly Man, the Jolly Comic Weekly Man. I'll be back to read the funnies. Do you happy, boys and honey? Don't forget, boys and girls, see you all next week. Your friend, the Comic Weekly Man, the Jolly Comic Weekly Man.