 The fountain of youth. What is the elixir? What is that thing that lubricates us and keeps us young and vibrant forever even when you feel old and shitty? Well today we're gonna talk about that. I've got like this beautiful couple full of youth and and vigor and mojo and they are gonna tell us or discuss with us what it means to be young, what it is to be forever young. Welcome our guest today Doug Silva who is a professional coach and coach and professional surfer in itself. Yes thank you. And model and Cubby Bear's daddy. And mommy. And mommy. And mommy is Keahi Lindsey, an esthetician. Did I say that right? Yes, esthetician, skin specialist. And and actually your title today is president of the Superstars of Love. What the heck? Yes. Well we decided to perpetuate everything that we believe. For years you know we've been forced to put a label on ourselves and really that just kind of like when you live long enough as long as we have you start to really find pride in defining who you really are, your authenticity. And then you start speaking it. You start making up words. You start making up a new language. And so we're having fun with that right now. Okay so back up. You guys say you're like at this age. You sound like you feel like you're old, which you are not. You're way younger than me. I would say way younger. I mean maybe you have me beat by a few months. A couple of years. Maybe. One year. And she is definitely a handful younger. And he's 35 based on dog years. But she's definitely a little bit younger but has lived a whole life. Meaning? Let's talk about that. You have three adult kids. I do. Which is crazy. Awesome. Love it. I'm 42 years old. I have three kids. Three teenage kids. Two of them off to college. And one, the youngest is 14. Oldest is 19. And they're absolutely amazing. And they make me feel youthful every day that I'm alive. So and they want to emulate me. They tell me every day mom my goal in life is just to be more like you. Wow. My teenage girls. Your average teenager will not say that. They fight over my attention when they come to visit. Just I mean a giggling happy loving 40 40 something based on my experience. Dating associating myself with young 40 year old women. They seem to be scorned or have have the woe is me. What I deserve this. It seems like yeah if everything hasn't gone as planned. Yeah. By the time and their early 40s. Yeah. It's like life over. Right. And they just they actually become a product of oldness. They become a product. Yes. Of sadness and and they just dilapidate. So your definition of your of old of being self pitting and yeah. I mean that that can definitely like that willfulness that self pity can definitely make you old and scorned and you will kill all your organs. Yes. When you have that energy and you have that those thoughts they're just they're self decaying and they're they're it's a demise. OK. It's a it's a decay. So what has attracted me to chaos. How long have you been dating for. Let's just throw it on the table so we know what's going on. Because you're hot and heavy in the first three months. That's bullshit. I'm not going to listen to anything because everyone's going to be OK. What. It's been. It's been one year. It's been one year. That is honeymoon period. Maybe if we were like 20 20 years old. Let me clarify. We've been physically together for a year but we've been asking for each other for years. So when we met it it felt like it's been years coming. You know. So that's it doesn't feel like one year. Well how you know which is interesting on how we did met. It's really important because as I laid there November December of 2015 in my bed yearning for like a Colombian goddess that would just wake up and smile that would maybe make me in the morning and make me coffee and where were you at that point. Were you very empty. Were you well I just I was like I was I was manifesting. I was creating at that point. You're willing something. I was like really like like manifesting putting it out to the universe. My physical spent a new year. Yes. The year before my my my desires my my thoughts my my vision of how it can be. I see you don't visualize it. See it. This is what I see in a woman. This is what I see as a partner to be perusing through my apartment environment whatever. You see this. You visualize it happening and so you will absolutely. And then come January 2016 or the January and it was there was at Whole Foods. There you were right next to the fruit. This is. I would like to interrupt here because I think we talk about for every young and I we talk about you know that those crossroads when when you you come through your 20s and your 30s and now entering 40s 50s and 60s there is a point in your life where. You can choose to. Just look keep looking at what's in your life whether you're with someone or not whether you have kids or not. You have a choice and you come to that crossroad where you continue to look at what you have. Or you continue to look at where you're going and when you're young you only think about where you're going. You never ever look in front of you. Right. That's what parents are for. Look stop. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So. Because kids never see their reality. They're only see where they're going where they want to. When you get older you get consumed with all day. You can. The walls. That's a choice. Yes. You can. You can. But you don't have to. You don't have to. You can always continue to look to where you want to go and that New Year's. We both spent at home alone. We had many opportunities to party. Yes. At the best hotels the best restaurants the best of everything. You know we had invitations and we turned all of them down because we decided to go inward and to really choose to feel where we want to be in our lives. So what is your definition of youth. It's a feeling. It's it's from the moment you open your eyes is to feel the sheets on you is to feel the air coming through the window. It's to decide to choose to savor that before anything else. You know before you wake up and run and worry about the study. Yeah. You see you stop and you just say you wake up and put high heels on and have a class. He wants to put on some trance music and just whatever works for you. We all have our out. Have you ever felt old. Is that equal like a low point. Like I mean it. I'm 40 years old. I'm physically active every single day. Right. I have a body of a 25 year old. OK. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Should we have him take off the shirt later. You too. Sorry. I'm sorry. The but I do feel a little tired in the morning. Yeah. I mean my body is a little bit sore. It takes a little bit of time to rejuvenate blood cells and water hydration. It's just the way to do it. Yeah. So I feel more wringles. So what. Just a couple. Those are just those are just the experience. This is the show is called. Right. OK. No no second. No. I didn't say anything. Can I say the word. And then to the youthful part. What was that reflection. Yeah. Right. What does what does youth mean to you. Obviously I mean I I just look at his eyes sparkle. His body is just so tight and fit. I see him paddle out there faster than 20 year olds. I that's what makes me feel younger is being able to admire and witness him and her youthfulness to go back to the original point now that I'm back to that. She gives you. She gives you. It's how she has been in her early 40s has just not become that scorned woman. Right. Has not become like the man hater. Not like what was me. Like she just like educated herself. And just you know I'm going to have a beautiful life. But did you feel that before you changed. I suffered a lot. I suffered a lot as a lot of people who have big dreams who have a real clear vision of what they want in their lives. What kind of mother they want to be with kind of father friend daughter son. I mean we all have really strong desires to be great to be the best you know at whatever it is. We all want to shine. You know we all want recognition. We all want to be the most special. And it's OK to have a dimming light sometimes in your life because that gives you that well that dim light is just you not realizing and sticking to that belief that you are special. You are the best dim light is it's that dim light is energy and you can transcend that dim light into pop into something like what is an example of your life that you did that. You had some lows. You disappeared. I love it. I love it. Embrace it. Embrace it. Feel it. And love it. And what let allow yourself to be sat down into something very self destructive and then raise from it. Just feel it. Embrace it and transcend that energy into productivity instead of what would be the other alternative. Everything is fine. I'm great. Oh yeah. I'm great. I'm fine. Just to embrace embrace that dark time. You know what I suck right now. I hate myself and just know that just know that you can and will come out of it. You will come out of it. But is it a self fulfilling. Do you need to make that effort or do you believe that life will guide you there. The power of putting thoughts and visions to the universe on how you want your what how how your life will be conveyed and how it will unfold in front of you. Put those thoughts of what you desire. See your wishes come to fruition like how you envisioned having your life. Absolutely. I like it. Someone that giggles and laughs in the morning. Did you feel more youthful after you started dating. I mean it's different. It's different. Well there's aspects about her that are so innocent. You know like she's like like like you're like she's just like this such mature woman raised children and these aspects of being a teenager herself. And so that will remind me. So you're you're her youthful energy actually affects you. Yes. I purposely avoided the mold. I purposely avoided knowing everything in life so that I could sit there and have an adult conversation with someone and let him know everything that I know. You know that's so boring to me. How do your kids feel about you dating and there are three different entities. Okay. Obviously. And I respect all three of them. And I'm just completely being sensitive and honest and just letting that energy flow. You know and one of them just like absolutely loves him and he teaches her lessons every day. You know. And one of them is like mom I'm not ready yet. Okay. Cool. You know there's no right wrong. Yeah. You know. And we cater to individuality and authenticity and I respect that in each one of them. So. And what's amazing as well is that she has finally taken a little time off to realize her dreams and her full potential. You know she's been working so hard over the last 10 years. You finally took that step to do something for yourself. Providing. Oh he took that step for you. Yeah. He is allowing that you know to come out of. So maybe youth is something you need to have room to bring in youthful energies and space to explore. Just take time to connect with people. I dropped her off at the salon with you and you guys were able to. You guys were able to. All right. Thank you. Yes. It's a pet. Okay. All right. Time for a break. People out there if you guys think about life and what it means to be young please join us in this conversation because it is something that's very thought provoking whether you like it or not whether wherever you are in your phase in life you will feel old at some point and we need to feel young. So come back. I mean don't go away. Aloha. My name is Justine Espiritu. This is my co-host Matthew Johnson every Thursday at four p.m. on think tech. We host the Hawaii Food and Farmers series. We like to bring in folks from the whole realm of the local food supply and agriculture. Anyone working on these issues. Any organization or individual that has plans or projects. What kind of people have we had on us. We've had farmers. We've had chefs. We've had people from government larger institutions. Everyone who's working to help make Hawaii's local food system that much better. So you can see us every Thursday and join the conversation on Twitter and we hope to see you there. Here with Keahi and Doug talking about the fountain of youth of what it means to be forever young. Everyone loves wants to just dying to be young and it's that's an ironic sentence there. But yes. So what is youth. Coming back here is youth passion is youth a zest of life where you need to. You know I said lubricate earlier. How much does sexuality come into play in feeling young because it's not fair. You guys have a hot and heavy relationship. You've been together for a year. A lot of people who are married like me. I'm not saying I don't have sex but maybe I am. The point is people live and they just get consumed with their habits and life and things go on with with a lack of the inspiration to try new things and to spark up light if you will. Yes. So how much does sexuality play in the fountain of youth. A lot. OK. Yes indeed. I'm I'm as far as like coaching and and surveying and being disciplined and so I teach regiments you know for for success. Right. You know to discipline. And then on the opposite side regiments don't really infuse. Stimulation. So. We know we spark it up. It's like we verbally discuss our fantasies. OK. We are meeting. OK. When your name is meeting or when we're meeting. No no. While we are slowly. You know. So you like to scribe some hot and heavy fantasy. Well yeah. Absolutely. And just like and just like spur and and like. Let it go. Whatever comes just let it come. Just like it just. No pun intended right. No pun intended. No no. Just everything is for you. Everything is for us. Actually everything's for you. Everything's for me. Men really just just be just selfless and just it's all. Surrender yourself. Which is all about that. And like and simulation and their experience. You're fine. You're. We're fine. They love everything. We're good. We're good. We got the physical. We got the visual. We got the. But but fast forward like five years from now when you're still a beautiful couple. But some things you might be going through premenopausal experiences where your body is not as lubricant and Doug you may not find those stimulants as hot and heavy as it is now. So how do you feel about the definition of youth when that comes and how do you perpetuate that. Shop online. For first items that will accentuate certain aspects of her body. So you guys have a blow up toy. No I don't need any of those things. I never did. I've always felt I mean I'm a skin specialist for 10 years. So I love how I feel in my skin and the more that I love how I feel in my skin. Even through you know three natural childbirths and nursing for three four years. I mean just going through all of the different changes and embracing it all. You know it really makes me feel even more beautiful in my skin. And another thing is admiration adoration when you see your loved one you know walking through the kitchen or the bedroom. You just take that moment and that time just to like observe admire. Adoration is really important. My body is not the same as 20s 30s. But just put the phone to the side when she walks by just have a gander. Have a little moment of life. But that's what it is. There are moments in life where we get so consumed with our daily routines is those little moments that make us youth. I think that those little moments. Yeah absolutely just detach from your you know take that moment to like observe. You know men are very visual creatures. So you're going to always have to be a spectacle in his life. I just feel like every man I just want every woman to have a man like him that will that is in that moment that sees it and seizes that moment. You know just those little seconds in the morning. Sometimes we only see each other for 30 minutes in the morning 30 minutes at night. Yeah we're both out working and then we're sleeping. So we don't have that much time together. But that little moments he really does put the phone down. You know I don't ask him to. But he does it. You know I mean what more does a woman want them to be admired. So it's it's that easy. You can make it sound easy. Exactly. You have to be awareness. You have to be connected. And you just have to be on a frequency. And you just have to have realizations. Don't don't be a zombie. Just be be aware of your surroundings. But for a woman though it might be a little bit different because you did you did confess that men are visual people and it's easily stimulated by things and change and new but for women sometimes you feel a little bit. Yes. Yes. No. Yes. I was very much conservative when I met him. He's actually brought out the sexiness in me. He's got me to really embrace my low insuance because I you know I was very thin through my twenties and thirties. And now in my forties I you know I'm about maybe ten fifteen pounds more. And I didn't really I haven't really known how to embrace it all yet. And he it's really showed me how sexy I was. He showed me even though I yes I am comfortable in my own skin. I wasn't really like showing it. Right. You know it's really simple format. Okay. Like it's like you could just like not to bring in the closet thing again but like you could just turn your head and smile and just have your hair come down your face. You see that sensualness. Yeah. And then that's all it takes for a man to actually like like fall in love again that morning. So you're saying that women need to find their sexuality to raise it into. Well just to smile like how they've seen you smile for ten twenty years. The first time they they fell in love with me. They see that that look in your eye and that they have the way your hair falls and the way you like maybe would drop your shoulder or something. These are all like things that men fall in love with subconsciously. Some are a little bit more conscious about about that. So men subconsciously will are very attracted to that and very attached to that. So throughout the years go by all you have to do is keep those things playing with the hand. A little smile on the eyes and something. Wow it'll bring them back. It'll bring them in. Being proud of your clean. Not bring men back if you have any men back to that twenty years ago. It's really that simple. Does it take a man to bring that sexuality out of you. It takes a man who can not be afraid of that in their woman. You know most men fear their woman feeling that way. Walking out of the door for eight hours. You know they maybe men men are insecure too just like women can be right. You know. And so they're not really going to give their woman that because as they age they don't want to lose that beautiful youthful woman that comes home every night. So that's why they're not sharing how they think. You know he shares everything that he sees. I'm like that's not sexy enough. Not so much cleavage but just just like something that will accentuate everything your happiness your heels put put something on like startling starkings. You know make it beautiful confidence. Some people don't feel so sexual whatever it is they're you know it's because you stop sharing it's because you stop sharing that if you keep feeding each other if you keep feeding each other you know it's feeding it's a feeding it's a feast. Yeah love is a feasting. Yeah it's a constant feast. But what can women do if they don't have a wonderful partner like that. How do you spoil them tell them tell them how beautiful they are tell them how sexy they are tell them what attracts you to them. You know it's not always the man's job. You can't rely on. No not everyone. No it's not it's a it's a it's a relationship. You know and it's we have just as much responsibility to bring out their sexuality their manliness their fervor as they do in our sexiness. But what if you didn't have a partner now. Well for her to attract me. For her to attract me she had to be this as well. Those those are you have to have that energy to begin with. I want a man that's going to empower me. I would love a man to empower me. I was describing him to my friends before I even met him. For a whole year. For a whole year. I said my man is going to say this to me. My man is going to look at me this way. My man is going to just want me to be happy. When I walk into a restaurant he's going to say give her whatever she wants. I don't care how much it costs. And when he said that every time we went into situations I was like. I went over I went over my credit card limit. That's a very good point. So where is it. Do we have to go at the same time. Do we have to go at the same time. Do we have to go and break a past that border in order to pull back or you know do we need to in order to find that fountain. Do we need to go out and explore and risk and do crazy stupid things before receiving that elixir. Do we have to get into dangerous. Yeah I don't think so. I think we're born knowing that. I think we were born being that. I think we're born that way. And I think it's that's the work in our life is not forgetting that. But some people live by passion to a point where they are so reckless that they destroy things around them. And some people play it so safe that they would rather just keep within that container of a life and never allow themselves to be seduced by their opportunities. So where do we draw the line. Where is it. Where is that magic. Our line is right here. We are the line. This is this is we can define what we do. And we can share to the masses what we do. Our perspectives our thoughts our ideologies. And. They can be influenced they can be. They can be inspired. And it's really really up to them. We're sharing. You know. A blissful message on how to live on an hourly daily weekly basis. But how do we open up those conservative minds into the enjoying and seeing the beauty of this type of. Fashion life call us and we can speak to them. Is. Sexy. At Gmail. What the heck. What is sex and what she is that the. That's what I said. What is what is more to you. When I hear that I just want to laugh. And I think that's that's what youth is is laughing. I'm like sexy and mochi. I'm like really he's like. What she is. I mean it's it's it's it's truly truly you can see for it for a while. Yeah you gotta. Some things you just got to chew on for a while till you get it. I think that's that's what you're trying to say. And they're like two different entities. Sex sex itself is not a big deal. It's not it's not. It's nothing by itself. It's nothing. It's nothing by itself at all. It takes it takes perspective. You need the mochi. Meat needs salt. You need the spice to add to the actual element. So that comes back to. What we've shared when we're in the act of. You know you spice it up a little bit. We talk about zombies all the time and basically how is all these kinds of things going on. You know. It's just like the mon the monotony of the majority. That is what's aging people. So how do we wake up these zombies. The rail is not going to help. Take a day off. But you're all sitting in traffic. Yeah. So. Yeah. Yeah. So. What do you think it means what what they need to do to find that you. You're so eloquent honey. Thank you so much. Words please. To find you then one minute. Yes. Yes. I love that. Live. Vivatiously. Wake up and have a glass of wine. What is it? What is it? Don't quit your daydream. Don't quit your daydream. Key dream. So please thank you so much. You wonderful guest to be able to remind us of the importance of dreaming and how that turns you into a useful person enjoying life to its fullest. Thank you so much. And I hope you took something from it.