 Your coca-cola bottler presents Claudia based on the play and novels by Rose Franken Brought to you transcribed Monday through Friday by your friendly neighbor who bottles coca-cola Relax and while you're listening refresh yourself Have a coke and now Claudia Not news for the night. I don't like hearing news nobody ever has anything nice to say Didn't you hear the announcer? Oh, I just got in on the end on the o'clock part Did he say eight or nine? Listen in an hour from now and you'll find out. Oh, come on. Tell me now What do you give me for it? How's this? One another Save it for it next time you ask me what time it is all right right now. It is Eight o'clock. Is that all you sound disappointed? I am it's much too early to go to bed Besides which I'm not sleepy two good reasons Hamlet book would you die don't you ever get tired of architecture? Give me another 50 years. Oh On your pipe. Don't you want your pipe? Or are you tired of that too? I'm not tired of anything as a matter of fact. I feel remarkably spry considering considering what just considering now Now let me see what can I do for an hour? In and all we can go to bed. Can't we David still be very early? I know maybe we ought to go out tonight What for? Go out. Don't you like to go out? Yes, but I like staying home too. That's the time to go out There'll be plenty of time darling when we're on the farm to spend evenings at home There'll be nothing else to do but go to bed. That'll be nice Except on the farm. We'll have to get up earlier too early to bed and early to rise makes a contented cow These cows are really on your mind, aren't they? Thanks for the compliment Nope, my mind's made up. We shall go out tonight. Where to David? Well, where does the person go when he goes out? Well, this person doesn't go out much because this person is married to a person who doesn't go out much either So this person doesn't know well most persons go to nightclubs when they go out nightclubs You say that as if it's the first time you pronounce the word Nonsense, it's just as the first time you've said nightclubs seriously Well, I think we ought to go out to one maybe our last chance for a while You mean because of the baby coming I mean because of the great migration of the Nautans to Connecticut You make it sound as if we're going to travel in a covered wagon Oh, that reminds me if we don't get a hold of a moving van pretty soon. We probably will you really want to what? Traveling a covered wagon. No silly go to a nightclub. Yes. I I think I really do my jaw has just dropped Well, pick it up and tell me what you think of the idea Mmm. I'm thinking my suggesting this tonight darling has two purposes. I suspect it as much I'm just using a little psychology. Sure. You want to tell me what it is? I mean, maybe psychology doesn't doesn't work as well when you know, it's being done to you This psychology is just as much for me as it's for you It's a known fact about human nature that when a person can't have something that's when a person wants it most You know, we're certainly talking about an awful lot about persons tonight David are we that kind of a person? You most certainly are. I thought you said this psychology is for you too Well, it affects me. I know just as sure as anything that the minute you get up in the country and tie that sunbunny on your head You'll have the most terrific year and to go to a nightclub. Look darling Just because you feel like you feel tonight. You don't have to blame it on psychology and me Oh, you think you're very smart don't you? Mmm. Very smart. Well, you you are Just wait till mama hears that. I don't think I'd mind recapturing my youth for one evening You didn't know that I was a very gay gay young blade in my day. Did you you were? How about were you a sharp blade to go to edge? Well, I've just met one edge of you so far the edges to stay at home I like it. Oh, just wait wait until you have a slice at the other edge. I like bacon with my edge Oh Mrs. Norton I'll have you know that I'm not accustomed to coast coaxing the young ladies to go out with me And David Casanova Norton extends an invitation. Claudia Cleopatra Norton accepts it. My arm madame. My hand milord That settles it Cleo. We're off to a nightclub. Right Cassie, but which one? I That's the rub To go or not to go. We have decided to go I That's not the rub. No, it isn't but to which Zounds to which whether it be the nightclub on east 54th street I'd rather it be Bristol on west 57th Tis blood is heavy on my mind Well, which is more crowded you ham without the left now you prefer ham with your edge Ah But seriously David, listen aren't the bistros and the nightclubs and the Pubs and the cafe is just going to be jammed tonight madame. They will be packed stifling crowded beyond belief There will be room for you to set foot no place but on your most odd and suitor's ear It sounds exciting twill be twill be. I didn't know you like dancing on a posted staff I wrote a letter today to my congressman. Oh Congratulations, darling. We'll have to make up our minds. Where we go before we start out now. You are so right And that is the gentleman's responsibility Alas Which nightclub is your favorite apartment 12c mine too, but we're going out remember of course I remember I'm going to look at this list of nightclubs and the newspaper just to refresh my memory, of course, of course Now let me see Let me see too. There's one that sounds nice the oasis. I'm not thirsty. How about this one the zombie? I don't think I feel like a zombie tonight. You don't look like one either. I don't thank you very much Hey, david, here's a place that sounds wonderful. Look what it says the village voodoo Featuring the exotic singer de laurus O'Brien, I think the de laurus is the exotic part and the o'Brien is the singer. Yes Oh david, why do I have to be born in the name like claudia? Why couldn't I have been a de laurus or a sonia or a Lucia because you just claudia. Is that good enough for me? Still I wish that were a little of De laurus in me. Oh, what about you want to go to the village voodoo de laurus. I would but you You're playing the wrong part darling. What do you mean? You're not the comedian. You're the audience Oh, oh, that's right, but I was just trying to get my money's worth. How did you ever get to be such a bargain hunter? I wonder I think you were born in a basement. Well, you better ask mama. I don't remember You were alive then don't you remember come to remember? I do That was the day the skies grew black at noon The sun shone at midnight earth rocked and shivered And the mountains howled was the weather bad too. You were never satisfied. Come on. Come on. Come on. We got to decide where we're going It's getting late Uh, how about this place the harlequin, huh? It's a nice name for nightclub. Don't you think featuring tommy tombstone Tommy tombstone. Who's he? Don't oh claud. Don't tell me that you've never heard of tommy tombstone Never tommy tombstone with the velvet larynx Oh him the singer who wears the polka dot tie that's he and the beret that is the one who's so thin you can practically see through him You hit him on the nose Say, when did you last see tommy tombstone? Never never well, everybody knows all about him even me I You too. Oh, no claudia not that again. Oh, you don't want to hear him again again. I never have well then Why'd you just say I didn't say anything? Let's forget the whole thing tommy tombstone, too He's he's all the rage, you know, of course. I know you want to go hearing Well No, I don't want to swoon the lady's loving this lady's busy loving someone else. Thank you Do you think you could love a man who sings like this? My dream Of genie with a light brown hair. I do love a man who sings like that Then we're no better not go to the harlequin You're right one man who sings like that is enough for any family I'll tell you what I I know just the place where the hacienda The hacienda that sounds as if you know how to ramba Well, who said I didn't know when I was a child my mother couldn't get me to stop doing the rumba Listen There must be a better way of saying that is it Rumbering Darling the best way to say it is to do it. Now come on leave us rumba into the bedroom and change into our evening clothes You mean we're going to get all dressed up, of course in white ties And a few other things I didn't know you still had to get dressed up to go to a nightclub. Well, it helps who well It might help us get a table wouldn't it help more if we called up and made a reservation. That's against my principle Oh principles. I don't see what principles have to do with a table You'll never get a table by just walking in and saying you want one Then we'll bring one along with us the square when it folds its legs up underneath itself like an indian Yes, the squall table And if you get yourself very dressed up, look at you stunning really stunning We'll make such an impression on the head waiter that he'll be sure to give us a table So that's it. That's it. David, you suppose the head waiter gets all dressed up to so he makes an impression on us I can't think of a better reason. This is getting exciting I'm getting so I even like the idea of going out And I don't care how crowded the place is or whether we ever get a table or if the head waiter snubs us We're gonna have a wonderful time. Hey You sound as if you were trying to convince yourself. Do I I don't see why I should I'm all convinced I know just what I'm going to do Now let me see what have I got to wear. Let me see. Let me see Every time you open that closet you act as if you were reading a menu now Here is just the thing one crepe machine on toast. It's nice low back Lace on the front and it reaches all the way down to the floor Sounds lovely. Have I seen you in it? Oh loads of time. What color is it pink and it's satin satin I like satin. It's very dressy. David. How does this look on me? Darling, that is a nightgown is well, what do you know, but it's very becoming. Do you like it? Yes, good, then I'll wear it. Very good idea, darling. And here's what I'll wear The striped ones I always like you best in the striped ones You think we'll make an impression on the head waiter in these we'll make an impression. All right. I know Oh darling, your psychology was marvelous. I'm not going to feel like going to a nightclub for ages I'm coming home so late. I'm so sleepy. I could go right to bed. I'm sleepy too I guess he was doing all that rumba in a smoke filled room. I guess so And wasn't it bad? I couldn't even find that postage stand. Maybe could I? David, thanks. I've had a wonderful evening So suppose you had a job outside instead of at home In all likelihood, there'd be a Coca-Cola cooler right where you worked And you'd use it too as millions of working folks do Well, the fact is you work just as hard chances are even harder than people do in offices and factories So why not give yourself the benefit of the pause that refreshes? See that there's always coke on ice so that you can open a bottle when you feel like it during your household working hours And work refresh sorry to disturb you Joe But are you and your wife great night clubbers? Well, I think we feel just about the same way about them as you and claudia david No matter how much we try we just never seem to get there, do we? Well, maybe you don't want to try hard enough. Maybe I guess the joke is on us Say that reminds me tomorrow's the first of april isn't it? That's right. April foods day gives me an idea I'll have to think up something. What could I do to play a joke on claudia joe? Well, that is something to think about do me a favor joe don't remind claudia that tomorrow is the first of april I'll bet you she remembers all by herself as claudia would say i'll bet you 20 sets Well, I better put on my thinking about goodbye joe goodbye david And as I was saying every day monday through friday claudia comes to you transcribed with the best wishes of your friendly neighbor who bottles coca-cola So listen again tomorrow at the same time And now this is joe king saying all of war And remember whoever you are, whatever you do, wherever you may be When you think of refreshment Think of coca-cola Or ice cold coca-cola makes any pause The pause that refreshes Claudia has come to most of you now for the past six months We'd welcome any suggestion or anything you may wish to say about the show Right to claudia post office box 173 church street station new york 8 new york Now let me repeat the address Post office box number 173 church street station new york 8 new york And now here's a word from your friendly neighbor who bottles coca-cola