 Welcome back to the 21 convention 2017 10-year anniversary live event in Orlando, Florida Our next speaker is a very good friend of mine He's not just a friend. He's a veteran alumni speaker one of the most veteran of this entire event He has taken it upon himself to actually be the ambassador for the new speakers in this event. We have so many of So your next speaker is Socrates and He has actually followed this event since well, so he's followed me since before the inception We used to argue and stuff with each other back in the day on internet forums and got into it here and there But he's followed this convention since the beginning and he has been instrumental in Bringing it to where it is today and where it will go in the future as you guys will find out on Saturday So again his name is Socrates. He's a manningupsmart.com and he's an excellent friend of myself and the 21 convention itself Come on stage buddy I'm Socrates and I help people understand and navigate the sexual marketplace I Do that by using a cross-disciplinary approach of combining anthropology history sociology and then psychology to Influence how and why we make decisions the way we do Professionally I'm an architect and part of my education training development and professional Responsibilities is leading in orchestrating cross professional disciplinary teams civil engineers structural mechanical electrical plumbing all together to create visions and structures for clients in often very harsh natural and social environments I Leveraged that background and those transferable skills To my influence with clients and individuals dealing in dating environments their Relationships of their marriages to understand their position within the sexual marketplace and what they can expect from that Many of my critics cannot speak to about many of the things I'll profess within Relationships particularly in today's age and there's a number of reasons for that Many is because they have no ability to do so Okay, right or wrong. They just lack the fundamental ability the other is like myself may have had gross concerns about today's sexual marketplace And the sexual political nature of our culture The threats are real They're a concern Okay, and in many ways I understand people not wanting to engage in relationships particularly long-term where there is such a threat exposure Ultimately, I think your destination is going to be chosen and driven by your values Alright, and so it's why I'm willing to stand up here and profess many of the things that I do Today we're gonna be this this week in this convention We're gonna be talking a lot about red pill awareness red pill culture and many people don't know and understand it in many ways It's a euphemism based on the cultural movie the Matrix in which a hero was given an opportunity a free choice and Rational choice to choose to view the world as it is rather than the way he perceived it to be The blue pill the alternative choice was that he was to remain ignorant He would be unaware of the realities around him Okay, and he would be able to live his life in a fantasy world Okay The issue with the red pill choice is that you're making a choice of viewing the world as it is as opposed to the world That could be or the way you believe it should be in many ways the philosophy is kind of summed up here So with a Russian proverb it's better to be slapped with the truth than kissed with a lie And it's a fairly simple straightforward approach everybody kind of thinks okay, we do this until becomes a sense of reality Nobody likes, you know trying to swallow a jagged truth and in many ways This will be the first start one Nature will win It's a simple statement Your consequentiality is debatable I'm kind of reminded of Robert Frost thought that he was able to surmise everything he knew about life in three simple words Life goes on Okay, you'll hear it saying in a number of ways Rollo, I think written a blog post, you know famously saying nature doesn't care and it doesn't Okay, these are harsh realities. This is a harsh truth to accept. We're all due to a grave There's no doubt about this. The only promise in life is that you're gonna die The question is is what do you do in the interim and that becomes a defining element of your life, you know The summation of the entire time. What did you do? What did you accomplish? What did you stand for? How did that drive your life and these are gonna be some of the things we discussed within, you know Today's events in particularly mine. There's an elephant in the room when we talk about red pill community For a community so Fascinated with swallowing truths and having others face that what is the reality that they're not facing or addressing? And it's a concerning one. It's one of the reasons why while I'm aware of it I don't fully embrace a lot of it because I don't like how they're viewing the farm and and it simply is this Biology commands you to have children your humanity should command you to raise them That is very much going to be a red pill for the red pill community. It is something They're not gonna want to swallow. It's something each of you are gonna have to look at and evaluate in your own life Do you take the red pill and embrace and prepare for that? Or do you take the blue pill and live the life you want to believe? The life that this doesn't matter that you're not obligated as a biological species to do the following the reality is You can address that in a number of ways in fear Anxieties you're not prepared or you can sit down and say look. I know I'm gonna be facing this and Work at it bit by bit What I see a lot of times are people that are avoiding responsibilities accountability Okay for any number of reasons it's going to be challenging. It's going to be very very demanding It's going to be incredibly difficult in its own right add that to this cultural and social and positions that we place on culture today And you sit down and say I understand why you wouldn't The problem though is that when we get wrapped up into the narcissism and now We don't really get anywhere. It's short-term thinking. It's short-term processing for long-term ramifications And there's tremendous dangers here for the individuals for society at on a whole Ultimately individually you're gonna have to have an individual response. It'll be up to you Ultimately your sex drive is just the beginning of your biological imperative Your entirely in biological imperatives are there to make sure that the species able to survive and reproduce Your sex drive your desire to have sex is just the starting point for all this It's not the end result. If you don't go through that process You're not going to end up being whole You're gonna live a stunted human existence You can build a wall of facts between you and this reality and God knows I had gone through that process You can see that with a lot of presentations I've had done previously where I was very concerned about today's cultural marketplace I was very concerned about my ability to be a father to be a man. What does that mean? How do I deal with that? But I was actively pursuing and investigating those things you can build a wall of facts between you and the reality The problem is biology doesn't care that doesn't change biology life will go on Nature will win and nature doesn't care It compels you to reproduce it compels you to become a father to become a parent and that is an essential element of our humanity Nature also the hordes of barren womb the same way it abhors masculine impotency Your choice to be so struck or so in fear of your biological imperatives is willful impotence And that's a choice you make It is important to reflect upon these other things and to realize what you're doing And unfortunately culturally We've scared ourselves limp And unfortunately a pharmaceutical blue pill Won't be the solution here for any of you who think Hey sock i'm gonna age and as a man I can still produce sperm and have children at 90 And the reality is you're right you can But there are genetic genetic ramifications to it There's an element of sperm decay associated with it And your offspring will bear those risks and bear those medical abnormalities You know that would be nature's way of saying your jizz ain't right Okay, nature doesn't approve And it gets worse If you're taking a lot of this wed pill wisdom and you're you know delaying these sort of decisions And you're pushing that decision making out you're probably not going to mate and pair with somebody Within your own social demographic age You're not going to be dating you know somebody who's in their 60s when you're having kids at 60 No, you're gonna you're going to do the things that are being taught and cultureed You know a lot of the things we promote here Of getting the best value you can get and that's going to be typically a 15 to 20 plus year span between age groups The problem with that is they're heightened medical risks associated with that When you take an old sperm factory And made it up with a new egg warehouse Nature says no sir Your medical risks for abnormalities are greater than that of a single woman at 40 having her first shot vastly more dangerous And by the way because men's health are so important in this culture We're advertising that fact. We're letting men know right you've heard about this constantly news, right? So these are the forms where we have to be able to talk about men's health Men's sexuality men's culture and make each other aware Women hit a biological wall. We're fairly well known about that So do men Doesn't happen the same time periods on a different arc, but it does happen And the ramifications culturally and personally are no less significant Don't think you have your entire life to kick a decision down the road and at the last moment you can change your mind you can But you're running a tremendous risk in doing so and if you're concerned about your genetic legacy what you leave behind What you contribute to humanity Put your best foot forward think about Where this should be taken place and when? When are you at your point because ultimately past your sexual peak? Every day every anniversary you become increasingly insufficient or insignificant to the point of your death The other one and I happen to really particularly love this slide and it's based on showing human evolution Of the three billion years of evolutionary sex and this is just showing 14 million years hominid evolution has been terribly successful And what I want you to do right now is you understand that we've had approximately 200 000 years of just human evolution Think about right now 500 000 generations behind you Of your history and you're the living breathing edge of that humanity that edge of your family lineage That's 500 000 generations deep I find that staggering Just really almost unfathomable And then if you look at that sort of scale of picture and come to the conclusion Sorry, man, you just can't get it done You can't continue that legacy that lineage Because society got in the way Because culture got in the way because of I don't know what feminism I understand the threats. I understand the risks But at a certain point your obligation is to get over that And to be successful. I guarantee you this line More people there had a difficult more difficult time than we did We can't be lazy and weak about facing the challenges of our day and age We have family history here. You're living proof of it Honor that existence I also want to recognize that the forces and challenges that we face are very very real I don't want to diminish that by any stretch of imagination just with this presentation I've spoken at length about men's rights About divorce law We will speak at length this week about relationships the dating environment the cultural environment which we stand These are very real constructs And if you're going to try to attempt to develop a relationship trying to develop a family My suggestion to you is remember the fable with the three little pigs Do not build your relationship Out of the wishful thinking of straw nature And human influence Unconstrained well utterly destroyed Last week or two weeks ago. We had a hurricane come through I guarantee you that hurricane as much damage and how Blessers it was was nothing compared to what going through a divorce proceeding is like how your life is torn up. Everything's absolutely in disarray These things are preventable If we look to it what we train we do the appropriate behavioral modifications And we understand the underlying issues going on within relationships and relationship structures When we talk about mating strategies The human animals terribly complex At the base of it We have three different brain structures as we evolved the most primal is is the limbic system the hind brain That's kind of the lizard brain. It's the lizard response. It's a fight or flight. It's a survival mode You can breed using the million breeding strategy and that's that's completely works Okay, and essentially it's nothing more than fuck spray and you know skedaddle Okay, but the quality output is incredibly low The parental that input on that is incredibly low That's a terribly low bar for humanity The secondary challenge is the mammalian complex the midbrain And this is where you're going to actually sit down and say where we have these pair bonding influences These biological urges to actually mate with somebody and kind of have a longer term relationship with them Stay with them for a period of time and wishful thinking along those lines. You can do that too And you're going to find in the red pill community There's a lot to be said about this and a lot of it's going to be negative Because unconstrained human nature just absolutely runs like there's no rules Okay, and it becomes very very dangerous And if you're not prepared for that look out You're going to suffer the the consequences of it The third one is actually used in our forebrain the greatest brain We've ever had we're the only creature with that much of a developed brain and that is a very human Element to us which really what makes us human And utilize that knowledge to prepare us to train to develop ourselves In response to everything we know that should be coming the things that we've seen historically The behavioral patterns and prepare us for the challenges ahead That is going to be a completely unique human construct I'm going to advocate you'll also have better rewards out of here. You'll have a better quality life out of here You're going to die You're going to die fulfilled Why because you're going to be complete You're going to be you're going to do everything your body Naturally biologically command you to do and you're going to do it with all the preconception of forethought of planning and initiation and and execution And you're going to be surrounded with the net knowledge You're going to go to your grave knowing you completed yourself If we have these biological imperatives How does it play out with sexual criteria? How do we choose? What's driving those factors? Biological drivers are I stated earlier that they're unconstrained Okay, naturally and for men and women They're the same Okay, you know, it's true for both sexes not just women. It's true for both sexes. Okay, and it's a result oriented system It doesn't care. It just wants results Okay, which means it says the means and methods of occurring this is discretionary Murder rape cheating cuckoldry all fair game in nature Not civilized It doesn't make a human we do it but it's not What we want to promote. It's not what we want to exemplify All right But if you don't know our base biological nature, you can't guard against it. You cannot prepare yourself for it And you need to be aware of what these things are In human beings where men and women are the same the cluster traits are similar Because we're the same species we share more similarities than we do differences and primarily We have survival traits seduction traits And then provision traits as far as the things that we're looking for for a sexual mate And again, these are going to be similar where we're similar Where we differ you're going to have sex specific specialization And they're going to be acute they play out and this is another huge area in which the red pill community very much researchers develops and actually You know Publishes material warning men so they can understand exactly what's going on. What why is this happening? all right for women This sexual criteria is called hypergamy Men have it too, but it's not hypergamy. It's hypogamy. It's the other side of the coin All right, and again where they differ they're going to be sex-based Based on environmental conditions naturally occurring in our evolutionary history Including much of the social constructs during that evolutionary history So this will date back thousands of years of human evolution and development Imprinting in upon our brain structures and how we respond biologically To sexual criteria For women These are the the primary physical traits that they have for survival her dimorphism She's looking for is the physical state the size and in address of a man. She's also looking at his fitness and in his health Okay, seduction. She's looking for deliberate sexual enticement Provocation and here's the key remember this one execution She's looking for an operator. She's looking for a guy that will come in squeeze a trigger and put rounds on target She's looking for a man of action here And that's going to be a biological response The third one is going to be the ones you are you are going to be really familiar with the provisional things She's looking for a man of standing. She's going to looking for wealth. She's looking for fame and she's looking for power The ability to provide over a long term for herself and her children and offspring. These are all natural Okay, you see it played out Men on the other hand have the same general criteria He's looking for health fitness and vitality Personality of spirit energy is going to for breathing purposes and survival He's looking for the similar type things as far as seduction deliberate, uh, uh, you know elements of sexual enticement provocation and then accessibility He's looking for somebody who's willing to have sex not fight for it but willing to have sex The third one is obviously we're dealing with provisions youth fertility and vitality Okay And these are going to drive masculine behaviors. These are going to drive men and their choices and women When they're naturally ordered Hypergamy and hypogamy Are matched for each other They're meant to be This is a success model This isn't a system at war with herself when they're naturally balanced They're compatible Okay, this is called partnering and biologically nature wants us to be compatible to survive and produce It's when we get this out of balance that things go astray The key on this is when we look at a male's need She has to overcome his hypergamous acceptance criteria for commitment You know and essentially when she is evaluating him He has to overcome her hypergamous nature and she becomes a gatekeeper of sex All right for for that measure of acceptance, you know, obviously she's controlling that so the controlling factor for sex is going to be with the woman For the male, it's the other way around She has to overcome his hypergamous commitment level And that means he's a gatekeeper for relationships Another way of saying this Is women have to be compelled to freely copulate and have sex Men have to be compelled to commit We've talked a little bit about the sexual criteria. How do you manage these things? How do you manage hypergamy? How do you manage hypogamy? What does that mean? Okay, and how do you actually do it? It's one thing to be aware of it, but how does how does this actually play out? There's a number of combinations here Okay, we have three major criteria survival seduction provision and a number of sub criteria The interesting thing is nature likes diversity because it spreads the gene pool out It helps ensure survival and there's a number of biological responses for this and what you have here Is any number of combinations to make up you you you and you you're all going to be different based on any number of these combinations Any one of these work. There's no one prototype There's no one singular human prototype. The problem here though Is they're not weighted equally Nature likes a particular order And the answer is found in the definition This is management of sexual selection the keyword sexual What makes you think sexual components aren't going to be weighted super heavy here In fact sex is almost everything when it comes to sexual selection It literally is the lead and so when we talk about this You need to make sure you're organizing those effectively upfront All right, I can you know, we can look at those standards We know of wealthy men who have been cheated on We know of powerful men who have been cheated on Okay, we know of famous men who are raising children that are not their own Okay, so cuckoldery we know we know any number of these categories who have been Literally out-competed sexually by their inferiors in the other two categories because the emphasis was on physical stature fitness and an ability to do some execute That's all player status, isn't it? That's where all the pickup guys are all coming from So if you're going to look and emphasize something make sure you hit that Another way of looking at it is i'm exhibit a I got this shit wrong To date i'm still getting it wrong. I'm grossly obese. I'm standing here at six two three hundred pounds Who here thinks if I dropped a hundred pounds my sexual market value wouldn't go through the world What did I do thanks guys? Really, you know, I really appreciate that But the reality is I took this notion of self-sacrifice. It was cultured. It was in green I joined a number of organizations where that was paramount. It's what men do, right? It's part of who we are and so what I ended up doing when I was young and fit I sacrificed my time my energy. I took on tremendous amount of stress And I didn't make room for myself and my fitness and my health And things slowly progressed from there and it got worse but I was a smart dude I could sit down and say I need to spend more time in the gym Or I could go the cheaper shorter faster ride, which is what? I can learn game I could learn game and you know you sit down and what's what's essential of game The first one's like I don't know instead of slouching around I can stand up straight That'll increase my sexual market value people start noticing we start taking up emotional space And so you start doing these things You know god, thank god, you know, I actually have a beautiful face I could work with you know You know to compensate for this body, you know, and so you know I can guarantee it You want one of my friends is a professional cyclist he and I stand next to together He's going to get the attention sexually And he's a great friend, but man can I out game them? Okay, but I was doing it wrong Okay, and I'm suffering my health effects because of that So even though I'm standing here to sit down and you know, I'm kind of supposed to be a thought leader I'm telling you we get it wrong as well. I'm in the exhibit of this I want to make sure you guys don't make the same mistakes I do because it's going to be vastly harder for me to Correct the ship and it's not a matter of just getting the shape. It's making sure my entire life is in support of that Okay, and what led me here was the fact my life didn't support that So I want to make sure you guys are aware of that and where the emphasis is and it's not evenly weighted If we're talking sexual criteria, you need to lean heavy into those Don't think think don't think your earning potential fame power wealth notoriety is going to make a difference It will it'll make a tremendous difference if you have all those other things in in place as well All right. Hypergamy management We're going to be dealing with what happens or how do you deal with hypergamy a woman's criteria for sexual selection? Let's start with the very basic What happens when you don't trigger it? She shows no interest, right You don't even exist. You're invisible I think a lot of the guys here understand that I think this organization as anthony explained before was centered on that initially because that was a major issue Okay, so you're going to have to trigger sexual selection if you actually want to have a biological response That's legitimate and it's a difference between, you know, you can't rationalize sexuality She may be able to sit down and say yeah, he's a great guy. He's a wonderful provider and everything else and rationally She'll say he'll do and she'll use the her storyable cortex to come to that decision Biologically though, you want to be that hell? Yeah guy. Okay that she just sits down and goes that one Okay Sex is the glue that binds us together. You want to trigger that you want to emphasize that when you're able to I'm not saying that's the only thing you should be doing but fundamentally at a basic level We're deserving of that That's our lineage. This is our inheritance. This is our birthright Make sure we're focusing in on that The second thing is and a lot of guys here will be able to testify to this too and which is a lot I mean tremendous amount of fodder for the red pill community. What happens when you fail to maintain her hypergram is interest She will fill that void in its place And it's natural and proper for her to do it How awful is that? You got divorce for a reason You let yourself go. You let your marriage go. You let her interest go That's going to be brutal I will say something else though If you're going to be in a relationship with somebody First first thing you should be looking for one of the first things is is she wherever hypergram is nature? Does she even know that word exists and what does it mean? If she has no idea what her natural sexual selection and biological impulses are sexually She's not even aware of it introduce her to your friends Get her out of her life I tell people to actually identify problems as they advance to you so you can avoid it. You just sidestep the ship Okay Learn to do that with people in your life. You'll you'll save yourself a tremendous amount of trouble Tremendous amount of anxiety and drama The second is a follow-up to it if she's aware of these these elements and their natural sexual sexual selection criteria And how that plays out biologically in the relationship. Make sure she owns that It's her responsibility to control her hypergram is interest Okay, women have no problem telling you to control your dick in a relationship Stop staring at other women Return the favor Okay, it's called safeguarding Make sure as an individual she has the agency to safeguard the relationship She wants by not letting her natural animalistic instinct run fucking amok And i'm going to tell you guys to the same thing too. Don't destroy your marriages by chasing a little trim on the fucking side All right, no different here But if you're going to be in a relationship make sure she knows it make sure she's has agency and she's going to actually implement strategies naturally to control herself The other is We're talking biologically You're going to need to have a biological response. You have to speak the same language into which things are communicating Having a rational response to a biological language i.e You're a great guy Your amount of relationship equity in your relationship is going to save you against her biological impulses Good luck Nature doesn't care Life will go on And nature will win This is where men get destroyed. This is where families are destroyed. This is where children are damaged I think a lot of us understand this. I think a lot of us experienced that But you're going to have to answer and how do you answer that goes back to sexual selection Make sure you're in shape. Make sure you're healthy Make sure you're socially inclined. Make sure you're engaging sexually make sure you can entice her sexually The other is make sure you're achieving make sure you're doing your male purpose Of providing status a measure of fame notoriety in your life or even with her within her You have that responsibility to answer that All right The last two are also going to be distinct You're going to need to lead the relationship Why do I say that goes back to hypergramy remember when I said she needs somebody to execute on the sexual enticement That's another way of saying she wants somebody who's willing to establish initiative in starting the relationship She wants somebody who'll initiate it and take the leadership role of these sort of things that element of natural masculine assertiveness confidence and execution It is biologically hardwired in she's expecting you to lead And when you don't she'll fill the void In another analogy we talk about driving the bus Your job is to drive the damn bus If you're not driving the bus and your hands are off the wheel, she's going to reach over and grab it That's going to be a dangerous situation In a number of ways you definitely don't want somebody who's fighting you for that damn wheel Okay, so screen and filter for that The other is on a rational basis. I have this really kind of strange thought it's a belief system I believe I own what I create It's going to be simple I own what I create And if we're talking about relationships Who did all the work? Who is the individual that recognized signals of attraction was responsible for initiating a response Engaging in reaction going over initiating conversation leading that conversation Doing all the courtship rituals pursuing the relationship pursuing her and actually establishing that relationship That's yours That's your obligation. I don't I don't know very many women who actually expect to take on all those roles And if they did that relationship would be hers If you own it Drive it It's your responsibility. That's a rational argument to a biological reality So two solid reasons an emotional reason of saying, hey, look, it's high and sort of hypergram is interest and demands it And the second area is a very rational point. You did every steps to actually own it The third is we also know the fact that Women go through a hormonal response over a period of cycles Okay, we know they ovulate And science are going to report that her mood swings not just mood her interest sexually swings with that ovulation cycle In many ways when she's ovulating she's going to demand a more aggressive and assertive alpha male All right In comparison is addition. She's going to be disgusted with displays of vulnerability during this time period And that's to ensure genetic selection of the best quality male at the right time when she's breathing And if you're not aware of these cycles and how that plays out it again can wreck your life This is the time period in which most women will cheat when most women go astray when most women have one night stands You'll hear this in the pickup community You start to identify if you're in a relationship This is terribly useful information. I do it on a regular basis. I actually track my partner cycle I'm not technically but I understand where she's at in that swing and I know during that time period I manage it and I actually Accentuate my masculine side my assertiveness. I don't sit down and ask her. Hey, honey Do you want to go out to eat? What do you want? I don't know, you know, I don't I don't waffle around A lot of times I don't give her a choice. Honey. We're going get in the car. Let's go. Where are we going? You'll see I'm leading. I'm going to dominate. I'm going to display that. I'm just going to klar grab her in Okay, I'll be assertive I will tell her the most sexy word she's ever heard No Okay, and she'll get all upset I'll sometimes just you know out of nowhere We'll be sitting in a chair kind of chilling and I'll just sneer at her and say the word no Okay, just a tease And she knows and at this point she knows I'm doing this intentionally. She knows I'm doing this intentionally And I have no problem telling her she's worth it And she agrees You can manage this cycle. I suggest you start incorporating that in your relationships And we'll talk about other things you can do how you time this sort of thing And so I think this is terribly important on how to manage Hypergamy Now to be fair there's a flip side to this coin and interesting enough I find this terribly fascinating that half my viewership are female I I just find that sending when I primarily talk about men's issues And so let's let's deal with this and I think you guys will enjoy because you'll recognize them I think it's also a lot more culturally known. What happens when women don't trigger a man's hypogamous interest Oh, she exists. Yeah, don't don't get me wrong. She'll be a fuck about it. Problem is A condom Is your glass slipper, isn't it? It's something you put on for a handsome stranger and you lose by the end of the night sweetheart, that's not a fairytale That's a horror story Done for 10 15 20 years You're okay with that The secondary one is actually you actually triggered his commitment level and you got a guided commit But you don't maintain it What happens then? I don't know. You don't you don't want guys knowing about this organization You don't want guys knowing about red community awareness There's their their sense of integrity and rights and what they should be able to have when you renegotiated the relationship Not overtly, but by behavior All right, you're gonna be constantly looking over your shoulder because women know There is a constant stream of opportunity Younger women who are younger fitter hotter and free of all the emotional baggage you're carrying and not only that They're unencumbered by all the bullshit. You brought him through in the relationship You're showing in the door. You're almost pushing them through it. And so you have to respond to this By maintaining his interests sexually One of the first things I'll tell women you know when they went on control hypothermia is learn that bad boys Are for bad girls I know it's revolutionary in thought if you want Different choose differently You're the gatekeeper of sex Guard that gate like men Women need to have a biological response to male biological language How does that play off? You have to be a better solution to his perceived options You have to be the best damn thing for that guy make sure he knows it You want to sit down and respond sexually the survival elements health fitness vitality. Nobody likes a debbie downer Okay, you also have to know the worlds of sexual provocation and enticement and then be accessible Sexless marriages are empty Sexless marriage are devoid of human connection They ring hollow for a reason and i'm not talking a drum here All right, the last one provision youth fertility invite by variety This is for sexual selection All right now men still want variety you can incorporate that in your relationship But the difference here is if you're in a relationship, it's no longer just about sexual selection You need to be able to have relationship-centric components to provision. We'll talk about that later All right ultimately we sit down and say the man is supposed to drive It's his bus. He earned it. Okay. He created it I'm going to tell you your job is not just to follow your job isn't just to go along for the ride Your job is to learn to dance You're an active partner and when we talk sexual displays when we talk sexual relationships We're talking about a degree of flair. We're talking about movement. We're talking about interest keeping interest Learn to dance in the real world not just you know metaphorically learn to dance Those skills and traits will transcend in your relationship in positive way Part of that is understanding how to enter a man's frame his reality Insisting that he is has good frame and strong frame to be able to hold and guide you And the other part is going to be the guidance You're going to have to demand that he's a strong and good leader That is something that a partner will do okay Ultimately though your hypergamy is going to demand this There's a biological instinct that'll link to this okay And people will say i'm sexist no i'm a realist the science shows it not only that the science shows repeatedly It's not just a one-off thing. It conclusively just keeps repeating itself repeating itself and repeating itself The problem is politically Nobody wants to publish this particularly universities today 20 years ago when i was going to actually more than 20 years ago 20 years ago i read a book called the red queen when it first came out was mandatory reading It was skating at that time. I don't think that book could be published today Some of the information even then that they skirted around Is not fit for your consumption to read Nobody wants to put money back to push this information out. It goes against the orthodoxy it goes against the conventional cultural grain But the information is out there All right The secondary one for women Do you need to be worthy of commitment? Don't be flip-flop quality and expect to be treated like Louis Vuitton It's just not going to happen. You have to be worthy of his commitment Make sure you are Ultimately when you're not The only metric you can actually improve on is your sexuality Okay, and that's a vicious cycle particularly as nature is not kind to anybody We all age poorly All right And you're against the race on time and your press and sexual behavior with competing with younger fitter hotter women continuously That is going to be comical And you can see it in display I can take you downtown tonight and i'll show you You know absolutely displays of this And it's nothing more than what we kind of you know proverbially kind of look at As I love Lucy and the chocolate factory where there's this conveyor belt of chocolate And women are just trying to be hotter and hotter and hotter and they literally start tripping over themselves And it becomes a calamity unfortunately Unlike that tv show It's not funny and it doesn't end well I'm going to sit down and say women need to biologically respond Not verbally But through behaviors You know, it's it's awesome when one woman will tell you hey, I love you I want to do these things and respond that i'm quality, but ultimately when a woman says i'm a lady She has to convince you of the fact that it has to sell you the fact Not by her behaviors and presence But by wording it's almost like looking at apartments And when you see the word luxury you can probably guarantee it's not All right The second one is you can't be going around shaking the bad boy tree And I know that your hypergamous interest wants that And constantly shaking that bad boy tree and somehow miraculously finding a good man fall out Okay, and if a good man does fall out he probably put himself there to actually get some attention Which means he's really not a good guy. He's clever, but he's not necessarily a good guy But you have to be responsible you have to have agency stop shaking the bad boy tree if you actually want positive results and positive relationships Bad boys position themselves that way for a reason The others you're going to have to develop yourself you're going to have to develop yourself heart and support of a relationship And this is going to be kind of the ugly one You're going to have to position yourself to form a man to commit not only be worthy of that commitment But ultimately for a man to fulfill his masculine duties and which are typically what? To protect to provide and to raise a family You're going to have to hit multiple criteria. You're going to have to be commitment worthy You're going to have to be protection worthy woman worthy of protecting Okay, you're also going to have to be a worthy woman to be able to provide Why would a man want to over provide for himself to provide for you if you're such low quality? Nobody wants a bum deal Don't present one to the sexual marketplace and the last one is terribly important If you want somebody to be there to raise a family You're really going to have to get his interest and sustain it You're going to have to provide an answer to his fears insecurities and his biological needs and biological impulses To make all this work How do you do that? How do you feel that void if men are driving? And i'm telling you not to just sit and be riding shotgun. How do you do it? Now? This is kind of a joke It's humor but it's serious too I'm going to sit down and say it's sleep dishes belly balls and back And this is homage to some friends in the audience I heard it a while back remember it and I think it's worth resonating saying again And so when we look at these individually sleep, we're talking about recovery and rejuvenation Your relationship should be a safe place for him to go if you're not ensuring that He's going to seek it elsewhere If he's out there providing doing everything he needs to do masculine life to do everything you want him to do Relationship wise you need to be the safe space one and that's permanently going to start off with you cutting your bullshit You being responsible for your own happiness not encumbering upon him as well. I guarantee you you don't feel his happiness is incumbent upon you Step up ladies second is going to be dishes What's that symbolic of? maintenance How do you respect the things they was able to provide? Okay, this is going to be terribly important the things that he's been able to provide Are you able to maintain and it says simple? But if you can't have a notion of maintenance Ability within a relationship, you're not going to sustain that relationship You have to be able to do that and you see that by behavioral examples Is she able to maintain things or is she just wearing these things to failure? Another one is belly nourishment the art of the sandwich Okay, I know it sounds kind of funny But one feeds a man the second the act Feeds the relationship and the soul Terribly important when you know you're taking care of you can be confident going forward I know for example standing up here that the film crew and the audio crew take care of me and their confidence and everything else I can relax and to do the things i'm going to do up on stage if I didn't have that security that ability to nourish it I'd be insecure make sure you're feeding the soul in the body of the relationship Balls Simply put a well-drained man typically doesn't stray more importantly than that we're talking intimacy We need intimacy a connection to be human and to have human relationships strangely enough Men view themselves in the reflection of the admiration and devotion of their partners and loved ones I know as a father I'm loved when I can see my daughter and I come home and her eyes light up I know i'm a good man Okay, and that compels me to be a better man Intimacy isn't terribly important and it's not just a sexual act. It's how we regard and treat each other Make sure you're feeding that make sure you're exhibiting that Particularly with the people you care about Back Talk about loyalty We're talking about commitment We're talking about making sure you know, this is a partnership In words indeed, and I think in many cases there's there's something terribly terribly powerful about this And it's something that you don't hear often When particularly culture doesn't support relationships when families and friends are not necessarily supporting relationships How often do you hear it? Baby, I got your back Take the risk Be confident Stand up be a man. I'm here for you These are powerful things. These are things that will drive a man to want to commit Or the other way around Don't provide these And you're gonna lose the man You're gonna lose the man. You're gonna lose a relationship. You're gonna lose a family And as a consequence as a society, we all lose Biological impairs the interesting thing is that we now have talked about Hypergamy and hypogamy. We've talked about how to manage that, but we really haven't talked about how to structure this What do you do when you bring hypergamy and hypergamy together? There's going to be this tension. The problem is that's not natural We're not bringing fissure out visual elements nuclear material together These things should naturally come together very rapidly like magnets Okay problem is cultures get in the way social constructs are getting in the way And so what we want to look at is how do we actually sit down and kind of structure these? And one of the things I'll sit down and tell you is let's look where we're most successful I told you we're 500,000 generations deep What made it successful and I would say it on say it's this It's a preeminent family structure And I and it's going to be the storage pack groups The nuclear family the two parents and the child Extended family as far as the immediate grandparents and uncles and all the siblings nieces nephews that sort of group caring for each other collectively Okay, meeting survival goals communal we're communal creatures All right and a division of labor that's sex-based. I know it's sexist, but unfortunately nature doesn't care All right, it's biological. We can have human constructs later. The question though is why reinvent the wheel when we know this works Something I like to highlight Is the nuclear family is a miniaturized version of this? The problems though Is the stress and tensions are exasperated you don't have the addition of family to rely on and trust me Grandparents when you have children are amazing things and uncles who have a vested interest in family that genetic line There's a response mechanism interfacial recognition between child and family members is vastly different than caregivers right We have increased failure results because of this added pressure So if you're only looking at a nuclear family, you're going to have to be prepared to answer this To make your life easier to make sure you're more successful be aware of that Extended family is an awesome thing if you don't have that you're going to have to reconstitute that somehow Or run the natural risk I'd also sit down and say this and this is terribly important too And in society it's a very very very significant one parented children thrive The data is overwhelming Under parented children are diminished proportionally to the response or lack of parental care These are some really ugly facts in today's world Because most of us are under parented most of us come from broken homes And we have organizations like this because of it where we're trying to self initiate self-help self-improvement We're having to reconstitute Broken families broken ideas broken culture things that were previously present This is a ramification of this I'm going to talk about daycare syndrome really quick and it's actually i'm going to elaborate a little bit more on that I and you're going to hear me speak probably in the future much more to this I think there are three things that we can do as humans that will really improve that graphic slide of our ability to actually vastly improve our our race and and species on a whole The first one is I joked about this previously was to give your your child the gift of two parent Privilege in reality. You want to give your child storage privileges The entire nest and entire tribe of families supporting because it does matter Giving your child the gift of two parent family household is absolutely a minimum The second is in the first three years of life when children brains are developing and relating and they don't have communication skills Give them the gift absolute gift Of a primary care provider and I know that is going to be incredibly difficult in today's marketplace But the ability to have a single individual being the consistent caregiver the first three years of life only the first three You will see a massive transformation in dependency Needs you'll see a massive transformation in developmental people's empathy ability and so forth Will become more human and more whole as because of it I think a lot of the behavioral issues that we have in our society is resulting from daycare So there's a lot of research currently undergoing on that. I find that area of study very very significant the third Is don't hit your children teach your children the language other than violence If it's not okay to unhit your employer do your employer to hit you you hit your spouse People that have recourse Why is it okay to hit a defenseless child? It's not the other thing what violence teaches is it excludes their ability to imprint positively alternative means of communication behavioral modifications negotiations and actually integration and conflict resolution Appropriately and children who don't experience this firsthand through their parents Don't enact that later on in school systems. You have behavioral problems being driven here So those three things Give your child Storgic privileges of an entire extended family if you can't do that Minimum make it a nuclear family two parent household income Or actually two two parent household. The other is keep your child out of daycare for three years of life There's no way you're going to be able to outsource better than a mother or a father who loves them That may mean you become skilled and trained at it. That's your responsibility the third is Don't speak in the language of violence to your children Don't teach them that language Ultimately to raise children outside of the family. It's to court trauma. It's to court disaster and an ultimately tragedy Here becomes the ultimate question. How do you balance hypergamy and hypogamy? How do you bring the man and woman together? What's the order structure and then primarily there's going to be three stores There's a male hypergamy or the the hypogamy centric There's going to be the female hypergamy centric And then there's going to be a balanced imperative. It's kind of a balanced order Ultimately when we look at the masculine imperative, this is when we're talking about only the male's actual biological imperatives are being Uh enacted here. We we result in this as we call it patriarchy Okay, and ultimately results are there's pretty much civilizations as we know it all of them All right The problem here is that there was a massive shift in our evolutionary history when we talk patriarchy A lot of this is in reference to agricultural time periods. There was a shift From when we were hunter and gatherings for two to three million years All of a sudden the invention of agriculture and herding and the Significances of that is this concept of stored wealth And that changed the human dynamic considerably out of that did rise a number of civilizations Okay, we also have at that time period all of a sudden totalitarian regimes We have a class structure within society and out of that sexual monopolies There isn't a major civilization on any continent that didn't involve the sexual monopolization of women based on class To the extent they became property All of them think of all the world's great historical civilizations all of them dealt with slavery dealt with harems sexually That's going to be an issue here, but the problem is this works This is kind of the running model. The secondary one is a hypermercentric The matriarchy So what happens here? Well, we don't have a whole lot of history on this Unfortunately, because a lot of them don't work, but a few of them have risen to the level of mud huts It's not pretty Okay, it's unfortunate that I there may be some really nice civilizations in which women are leading I don't want to disparage that too much I kind of like the patriarchal system better. I think I I'm terribly biased. I like western, you know civilization I like all the merits of that. You don't necessarily see this in matriarchy The other element is where you have standing civic order and matriarchal influences start to come You actually start to have civic decay And we can see that enacting right now today Look at those governments that are strongly becoming matriarchal Feminine and imperative and what's happening to the social structure There's a reason why feminists sat down and said we're out to destroy the patriarchy. We're here to take down fathers We're here to take down men Well ladies, how's that working for you? Okay The third one is a balanced imperative the natural order of things What happens when you actually structure this based on evolution? This is the working model This is the working model for 2.3 million years Okay, running in before agriculture. We know this works. This is the natural order of things All right I'm going to say that's probably a little bit better than the alternative We don't have a whole lot of current history modern history on this acting out We may want to revisit some of this There's a reason why I didn't bring up the egalitarian model where we treat men and women the same As having the same sexual natural instincts same biological impulses And there's a reason for that We're sex-based creatures There's a difference and based on evolutionary development We have sex-based derivative behaviors embedded in our biology Where this works it's a complete anomaly. It's such an outlier It doesn't even worth merit worth evaluating extensively people here just aren't happy in long term. It doesn't work out Ultimately, we've talked about a number of things. It's primarily this talk's been biology We've talked about your biology compares your natural natural inclination and demand to reproduce and to raise children We've talked about sexual selection how that plays out and what those are hypergamy and hypogamy and then we sat down and said Hey, how do you manage that? Particularly there's there's an order and how do you handle hypergamy and hypogamy individual and ultimately we talked about the family groups What we haven't talked about Is what goes beyond biology? Because we're not just biological creatures. We're human Okay, and there's there's there's something that's terribly unique with humans And ultimately we were given knowledge rationality and free will These are terribly terribly powerful things In fact It's the original red pill This is it the original red pill free will rationality and choice of our sexuality knowledge of it the knowledge of right and wrong good and evil all of it We've been taught that story and here it is All right, I find that remarkable. I also find something else remarkable with this story It is a story Of the lengths man went to the point of defying god the orthodoxy of the day to understand women To be accepted by women men would go to the lengths to defy god himself That is a phenomenal story That gives me hope That at our base level We desire each other so much We will actually defy the orthodoxy of the day The only problems right now I don't see our partners doing the same thing I don't see our sexual opposites Going to the length of defying orthodoxy for good men One of the things that will take us beyond our biological imperatives Is our civilizing nature the things that make us human What brings civilization to order And these are going to be all the virtuous traits of humanity I'm going to say we need to lean into those Okay, and when you do you're ensuring mutual survival you're ensuring mutual thriving These are things that we should be gearing towards Part of that is do we understand what relationship skills are? And ultimately it's not even in its advantage of what our relationship skills relationship skills at a very basic level Reduce anxiety reduce tension and remove violence from the equation Okay, and it's not enough to be aware of these things you have to be able to have them as skill Knowledge utilized a thousand times Is a skill That will serve you a secondary one is relationship management skills. Do you have the ability to manage a relationship? Why do we actually sit down and want to manage relationships because we're looking at performance and effectiveness We do it in business. We do it in sports Why are we not doing the same sort of skill training? In relationships, we're going to need to do this and ultimately it kind of goes back to hypergamous interest Either you run the relationship or the relationship will run you You have a choice Swallow the knowledge, you know the truth of reality is that you have responsibility to do this or take the blue pill And be ignorant of that reality and live in a fantasy world But don't be surprised when your family bus go careers right off the road The third one is maintenance skills Do you have the ability to maintain a relationship? And what we're looking here is that predictability Okay, that we know the relationship is going to operate and be the way we want it to be when we need it to operate And that reliability that comes with it And the difference between having a maintenance program within relationship and not is like any maintenance program When you don't have a maintenance program, you don't have the ability to care for something to ensure these things It's a run to fail operation Don't be surprised if you treat your relationships that way that the relationship doesn't treat you that way If you don't want to be disposable make sure you're not We also have to understand our life arc Where are we in our life trajectory? There's a complete difference being in your 20s as being into your 40s And each kind of 10-year span within that those generational gaps your focus should be on different things and we can talk about that In psychology social and you know evolutionary periods when we also look at you know, for example There's a crisis within each age groups. That's typical kind of figure out what that is know what that is But ultimately i'm going to tell you That your sexual imperative okay your biological imperative is to have children So it's an obligation that comes with being born It's natural for the species if you know that and you want to embrace that and choose to do that start preparing yourself now If you're already there learn to become better at it Learn to be a better father, but this is going to be a choice you have to make and it's a very personal one I know personally I struggled with that for a number of years. I had grave concerns about it I had to work through that and ultimately I made a very personal choice You're going to have to do the same When evaluating objectives I'm always reminded of TS Eliot Start with the end in mind And his quote is literally is that the end is in the beginning If you wanted to create your life you're going to have to be an author of it What do you story do you want to tell that was your existence? And that's kind of a fascinating concept If you were a life story What story would you write for yourself? It's up to you to decide you become the author of your life you become the author of your relationship Look at it Make sure your short-term decisions are in alignment with your long-term objectives And when they're matched you're going to be okay when they're when they're different. They're going to be issues Understand that but you are responsible for controlling it We also have to look at your responsibility for selection value I think this is kind of an interesting one It's one that I think men get hung up on because of sexual criteria You can remove the risks by knowing you can't have a guarantee There's absolutely no guarantees of life, but you can vastly reduce the risk by choosing appropriately We know life is difficult Life is incredibly difficult when you're stupid Particularly when you're stupid about it How are men stupid about it? We don't get rid of drama in our life. We don't remove the negatives out of our life We can see the shit coming and we can't fucking avoid it What does that look like in the sexual marketplace? This guy right here has a problem with massive tits. He can't help himself. I know it He sees I understand it's natural selection daddy has a taste for candy too. Okay Problem is in my age D Became the triple D. Okay today. He's telling me G is the new best thing. Okay when a woman makes herself up to be a sex doll Listen to her what she's saying And I'm gonna say say something kind of kind of interesting I want you guys to close your eyes Imagine a sex doll and that woman walking by close your eyes and use the power of the force Is the dark side strong with that one? Don't touch her I just did that don't make sure because I can guarantee it somebody's actually going to reach out and touch her Don't don't make physical contact. But what is the story? She's telling you and how is that going to play out in your life? And how is that going to fucking work? And by the way, I know you you you love g-sized titties the problem is next to your model or h s Shit's ass out of control It's never ending cycle and it's not going to get you really where you want Be careful about responding only to sexual triggers. All right, I'm going to tell you Look at the package not just the packaging You're going to have to train yourself by the way, it's really hard to do I was one of the biggest hang-ups I had Remove the weeds from your own personal garden. The other is Nurture the virtuous start looking for it There are virtuous people out there and when you look for them you'll start seeing them And when you see them feed into that Particularly where it scares All right, and you're going to see a remarkable transformation. You're like when you do Biological imperatives are incredibly powerful forces in nature And they drive the vast majority of our behaviors We have to understand them to actually be able to harness and control them It's not that we're going to prevent the wind from blowing But we have the ability to harness the wind I think it's one of the things that makes this unique. I think it's essential to our absolute fulfillment and thriving as a human species We also know for example our ancestors. It's a lineage that's been passed on to us and it works Okay, what we face today is absolutely no different Life is a continuation of that story. We should be prepared to engage that and continue with them Ultimately I when I'm professing Isn't like in the Rocky Horror Pictures show where it's a series of steps to the left Okay, and proverbially you just keep going to the left and keep going to the left and ultimately we end up all in drag And we pretend that this is normal Ultimately what I'm going to be saying is we should be looking at our biological impairs The things that are we're biologically inclined because we're biological creatures and we can't change that To have a solid focus in on that And then to look at the things that make us distinctly human to look at the things that made us virtuous That enabled human thriving and to bring those two together in ways in which we haven't been successful for Going forward where we've tried new things and they've been measured and not and found lacking We need to discard but we need to lean into the areas that we've been terribly successful I believe we can But this is going to take one bite at a time Thank you Thank you, sock a little bit tight on time. So one question one guy Then we got to move on Questions anybody get another one second Oh Yeah, thank you very much. My name is david and um you said there's a A time in every man's life and things change, you know the sexuality and nature and procreation in your Your 20s and 30s and 40s. Okay, so I'm in my 50s. I was married for 25 years And uh, so my my wife took off with somebody on facebook Okay, so how do I plan my what's my purpose now according to nature? Do I just like Go away or something or what? No, no, actually it's it's fair. Um, you know, and I'm I'm the same age as you are I'm 49 Uh, yeah, it's nice to sit down and say if I could roll back time, right We can And so you're stuck with the reality is I have to start now and this is the only time period Which truly exists is the moment right now. And so you have to start where you're at Okay, and then the question is is is are you in the right context? Okay, you know am I in the right environment? But I would I would probably even start internalized. Uh, I I chose the nommaker Socrates because there were some things that I could relate to one of the most primary was know thyself And I thought that was essential to any sort of starting point is I needed to know myself and start internally And then radiate those those elements out and so I think you have to start now You know where you're at wherever that's at if you're 25 if you're 30 if you're 60 You have to start worth where you're at you have to understand who you are What was the process your your personal history that made you up? You know, what were the influences? What were the decisions? You know kind of do that kind of forensics Autopsies of your life of the relationships you had that led you there. I think at 50 there's going to be a large number of it Part of that though is absolutely understanding and the element of agency that you were Part of that through that entire process. And then the question is is What's the rest of the story? You have the ability to craft a story and take it as a creative writing exercise and I find that writing sometimes really helps You have a period of time that we estimate What do you want to do with that? How do you want about what what on reflection will satisfy you personally because ultimately that's the only individual died Death is going to be a terrible personal thing whether you're surrounded by family or not You want to actually go into that grave? satiate Okay, you don't want to be crying and clean and desperate for life. I hope I slip away gracefully Having no major regrets and if I have regrets. I hope I had the audacity to face it I'm I'm on the stage today because I made some profound mistakes I hurt people I A lot of relationship continue where somebody didn't maintain my hypogamous interest It slipped and I didn't have the ability to communicate it appropriately And I've said in the past if you don't have an ability to handle something appropriately You'll handle it inappropriately. I very much did Very much did and a part of what I try to give back is my answer to this. I can't correct the past I can't say sorry and have it meaningful, but what I can do Isn't for reflection if I ever cross this individual again I can point to an entire body of work and say I changed I took the time for introspection. I've took the time for accountability And I made adjustments not only in my own life But I shared that knowledge so others who would have been in similar positions don't make the same failings I do now that may not answer your particular questions But I think between now and our deaths we have at least 20 years to the say estimate and say what are we going to do now Start with the end of mine Look at that 20-year arc and say where do I want to be? How do I want to exit and work backwards to today? And then whatever you do? I've talked about goal settings everything else put them out make maintain a word document I've done that on a regular basis to help you maintain track. There's no shame in managing your life or relationships taking notes In the military pilots have checklist I know when I was in the military I had a cheat sheet in my helmet Flat out laminated the ship if something happened. I didn't know to go can't rely on my head I wet my helmet. I pull it out look at the cheat sheet and know exactly what to do procedurally Okay, and it was there Nobody cares if I looked at the cheat sheet, but they cared is I got it done And they knew they could rely on me to get it done There's no shame in doing that. I suggest sit down and say let's be creative Who do you want to be? How do you want to leave this world? Is there a imprint you want to be or do you kind of want to go? So I don't know but to sit down and say this is where I'm at Here's where I'm coming to resolve whatever issues that are going to hold you back Because I would sit down and say probably the thing that I know that holds me back the most Is not the external world It's me censoring myself And so I would sit down and say take all those things in light and project that forward And then be creative with it Own it make art out of it You know don't make it, you know engineer. I'm an architect by trade. So I'm kind of very very biased I I want to express you know in a building not just a functional relationship But I want to sit down and say what does this thing want to be what makes it sing Make sure your life does All right, thanks guys