How To Keep Things Hot With A Longtime Girlfriend by Comedian Phil Johnson





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Published on Jan 27, 2012

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From the DVD "Be Yourself...Unless You're An Idiot"

When you've been in a relationship for a long time you have to work at keeping things interesting in the bedroom. This is my plan.

~Phil Johnson

Baby we got a love life to shame all others
You and me go great together like chocolate and peanut butter
But baby let's flip the script
Change it up a little bit

Let's have bad porno sex
I'll leave my socks on for you
Bad porno sex
Waka chuka waka chukity choo
Bad porno sex will have you wrapped around my finger
Like a teenage runaway banging a homely middle aged dude
For money

You'll be my lady
And I'll be your overly hairy man
You be my baby
I'll give you some bad meat in the can
You'll have a spray on tan

Let's have bad porno sex
I'll cut a hole in a pizza box
Bad porno sex
Waka chuka when the pizza boy knocks
Bad porno sex in a non-descript hotel room
You're a straight F college girl
I'm a morally ambiguous professor

Let's pretend that you just got some really bad plastic boobs
Nipples that point in the wrong direction get me harder than a Rubick's Cube
You be the housewife and I'll be the plumber that snakes your drain

Let's have bad porno sex
We'll flop around til our interest wanes
Bad porno sex
At least the sheets won't have any stains
Bad porno sex will leave us both unsatisfied
Which really only means we'll have to do it again
But after South Park

Cuz baby I don't miss my South Park
For nothin'
Yeah I really like when little Cartman goes
"Hey, screw you guys"
I really think that's funny
And right now that's more entertaining than your vagina

But when Kenny's dead I'll bend you over
When Kenny's dead I'll bend you over
When Kenny's dead I'll bend you over
For some bad porno sex

The direct link to this video is https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9ndMs...

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