 I feel like that advice kind of sounds like you're coaching men to be a little guarded in when they are courting these women or pursuing women and honestly like if you're going to come at it from a real genuine place there has to be a certain level of vulnerability on both parts. If you're afraid to court me or take me out on a $300 date because you feel like that's going to make you seem like you're tap dancing for me then just leave me alone because I can honestly take myself out on a $300 date. Listen, it's the message right here, black boy tell me how you really feel because I just want to build with you, black girl tell me how you really feel I want to keep it real with you, I want to live better, eat better I want to love better, sleep better, yeah. 50-50 relationships, you brought that up. Yeah. Explain to me what is, I guess what is your, what are your thoughts on that? What are your curiosities on it and we'll just go back and forth. Okay. So my thoughts on 50-50 relationships, I'm not that big a fan of it. It just seems very transactional to me like, like let's say we have a place in this $1,000 a month for the rent and it's time to pay rent and you really hold your hand out to me asking me for $500. Like that feels weird, especially like if the woman gets up she has to go to work just like you do but then you also expect her to come home and like do laundry, wash clothes, take, if you have kids take care of kids like it just feels weird. I don't like it. Okay. Let me play God's advocate for a second. Okay. In our community, women have always had to work. Whether it was, you know, working as maids for some rich white family or now working in corporate America, women have always had to work. And black men haven't had the luxury to realize the American dream like our white counterparts. So in some sense it's always been 50-50. Maybe not monetarily, but it's always been both parties have had to contribute. And I think right now one salary is it's going to be hard to make sure we keep it. Now I'm not saying zero and 100 either. Okay. I'm not saying that. So what is the percentage you'll be comfortable with? I can't come up with that. I see that feels weird too. So we're going to start a relationship off and say, okay, 30, 70. Like it feels weird. I don't have a percentage in mind per se, but I just don't agree with like it being 50-50. Like I feel like a man's role is to provide and to protect and then a woman is supposed to nurture and love and all of that. I don't think like, I don't think you would quantify that as a percentage per se, but the man should be able to take care of certain responsibilities in the home without looking for the woman to match exactly what he's putting up. That just feels kind of tacky to me. Okay. Let's talk about this because I hear this a lot. Let's split a Duke Energy bill. Here's the issue I have because I'm with you on the, like I don't want my girl, my wife to touch anything financial, right? Because I feel like the value that she brings with everything else she does is equivalent to whatever value I bring financially. But with that being said, I think the issue a lot of men are having is like women women still want men to take care of all the finances, but a lot of women are unwilling to take care of anything else. Or it's like, okay, I want you to bring home all the money, but I want you to also help me with the laundry. I also want you to help me with the kids. I also want you to help me with the cooking. No, I don't agree with that either. Okay. Okay. So that's fair. So I think we kind of are on the same page a little bit, but yeah, I don't agree with that. I don't think everything financially should fall on the man either. I don't think like his whole check should, especially like, let's say both of you are making $50,000. I wouldn't expect you to spend all of your money on everything and me to never come out of my pocket. That would be kind of crazy. I just don't think that it should just be 50-50. Okay. I think that's reasonable. I should go out to a restaurant and like, you know, we're splitting the tab. Like, you know what I mean? Yeah. So just the action of it. Yeah. It's tacky. Yeah. For me, personally, I would think like, okay, the mortgage is on auto pay coming out of his account. Well, y'all's account. The car, same deal. But like vacations. I want to get paid for the vacations. Going out to eat small stuff. Yeah. Especially if she's making money, right? Yeah. Instead of stockpiling her money to stock. Because some women are like that where they're like, your money is my money, my money is my money. No. That's not, no. Okay. No. Like vacations, extracurricular things. Like she should be able to cover that. But the responsibility like of the house. I feel like that should fall in the mirror. So you just don't like the, okay, cash at me half this. No. Like I don't want us to split a spectrum bill down to the dollar to the penny. That's tacky. Okay. That's fair. That's right. Thank you. So we agreed on something. We agree. We absolutely agree. So the 50-50 thing comes up a lot as far as the issue with black relationships and black love right now. What do you think of some other issues that are causing this gender war at its rift? I feel like men don't want to court women. They want to have you come over and chill at their house or even they want to try to come to your house and chill at yours. I don't want to do that. Okay. Why? Art experiment. Why do you think that is? I still believe in traditional. No, no, no. Why do you think it changed? Like why do you think men don't want to do that anymore? Oh, I feel like men don't want to do that anymore because of this whole term simping. Simping. Simping is the middle term. I think that's what y'all call it. You don't want to be simps. Is that right? Yeah. That's right. So yeah, I feel like a lot of that comes from men feeling like if they court a woman in a traditional sense, it puts them in a boner old position because they are going to be labeled as a simp simply because you take a woman out on a date. And let's say if you don't get what you thought you were going to get in return because of that date, now you feel like you're a simp. So I think that's what I think. That's what you thought you were going to get in return because of that date. Now you feel like you're a simp. So rather than even putting yourself in that position of being a vulnerable, you just all together decide like I'm not going to court you at all. Let's just come over and chill. That's where I think that comes from. Have you talked to any dudes like to get like their horror stories as far as like- Their horror stories? Yeah, like I said, social so out and like she, I was just the food nigga and she just she never hit me back, whatever the case may be, or she was a bore the entire time during the date. And I just spent $300 taking her to, you know. Okay. Have you heard of this? No, I haven't. I just heard it just that. No, you know what? I have heard of someone going on a date with someone and he did say like she was extremely quiet and she didn't have anything to talk about. Okay. How do you feel about coffee dates? I like them. I'm not a huge fan. A lot of women don't like them. No, because it's cheap. That's the point. That's the point. No, I'm not opposed to them. Because I get it, like you don't want to waste your time and your money if you know, if you can sell instantly off that that it's not going to go anywhere. So I feel like it's a great way to maybe connect and see if there's an actual chemistry there. Then maybe you can plan a real date and if there's not any chemistry there, then you just leave it at coffee. Maybe you guys can connect and like, I don't know, network in some other kind of way. It could turn into something else. But you know that it's not going to be a romantic situation. You can save some money. Absolutely. I mean, I think that's the thing from a man's point of view. A lot of guys are saying women or a lot of women have adopted like a transactional paradigm when it comes to relationship. Sure, sure. But as far as like men not wanting to court women, I think number one, if I'm not interested in becoming something serious with you, whether that's friendship or whether that's like relationship, I'm not going to try to spend my money or waste my money from my perspective on you. But then the other thing too is you see the stories of women who have dudes saved in their phone as the food guy who were going to date with a dude and then have the dude that she actually messed with come pick her up. Have you really seen any of this that you've heard about? At this point in my YouTube journey, people send me stories. People email me. People DM me. Yes, these things happen. So have you ever been labeled as the food guy? No, no, no. I might have been way too strong. I might have been way too strong. But I can imagine I can imagine how some men get to that point. The thing with me in coffee days is, to your point, I'm trying to see if I even like you. Yeah. You know, I think the mistake a lot of men make and I talk about this a lot is like we are programmed to assume that women have intrinsic value. And let's say me and you are going out, it's an opportunity for me to earn you. So I'm tap dancing for your like or your affectionate wherever the case may be. Tap dancing? Okay. I'm like, yeah, I bench 250 you know, I make this amount of money and I'm this and I'm that as opposed to, you know, for instance in corporate America, when you get to a certain point in your career, you know this because you're at that point in your career. It's not about me, the candidate trying to oppress you, the hiring manager. It's about let's sit down and see if we're a good fit. Yeah. If what I'm bringing makes sense for this company, if what this company has to offer me for what I'm bringing. Yeah. And I encourage men, especially to approach love and relationship in that same way. To see if it's a good fit for both of them. To see if it's a good fit. Exactly. Instead of trying to impress her with $300 this or fly with that or whatever the case may be. I can kind of agree with that. One part you disagree. It's all to me. I feel like that advice kind of sounds like you're coaching men. No. To be a little guarded in when they are courting these women or pursuing women. And honestly like if you're going to come at it from a real genuine place, there has to be a certain level of vulnerability on both parts. If you're afraid to court me or take me out on a $300 date because you feel like that's going to make you seem like you're tap dancing for me, then just leave me alone. Because I can honestly take myself out on a $300 date. I don't need you to do it. We're both doing it to see if there's something there. I give it an actual connection. If you can't even put up the money or the time or the effort to make it like a real date, then just leave me alone. But I'm cool with the coffee thing too. You can meet and have coffee and see if there's actually something there worth now moving to the next level of maybe like a real actual official date. That's my point. Yeah. Yeah, I'm not opposed to expensive dates. Okay. I'm opposed to because she looked good, you're assuming that she's worth your time. And I think a lot of, a lot of dudes who are, a lot of people say who hurts you. A lot of the dudes who are, who do harbor that resentment is because they had those experiences. They had the experiences of assuming the best from a woman who gave no shits about them. And they ended up wasting money. The money is in consequential. You get money back, but they ended up wasting time. They ended up wasting effort. They ended up wasting energy. And then the opportunity costs of a woman that might have actually been interested in him being overlooked because he's trying to see if she can work with this lady. Yeah. So that's why for me, it's about, okay, it is as much as we agree, a man should earn a woman's affection. A man should earn, should make her feel comfortable. Even when we talk about sex, like, I'm not, I don't owe you my vagina. Right. You feel what I'm saying? So similarly, a man does not owe anybody his vulnerability. Ask also be earned. Ask to also feel comfortable. I have to also know that you are not a threat to me, just like the woman. But a lot of times, I think what we're taught to think is like, you'll hear women, for instance, say, you know, I won't do this, this and this, because you're not my husband. Yeah. But on the flip side, women expect husband treatment from day one. But you know why they do that though, because like you said, the guy might have been in the position where he was doing certain things, and then he got burnt in the situation. A woman, after she played that position where she might have been cooking and cleaning and doing like wifely things for a guy, and she got burnt in the situation. So moving forward, it's like, well, I'm not doing there for no man. I'm not cooking or cleaning for no man. It's not my husband. So it's just like an endless cycle. But, and that's the thing. I think the next guy should be empathetic. Should be like, okay, I see where you're coming from. I need to be patient with you, take it slow with you, just this and that. We deserve that empathy too, right? We all deserve empathy, and I personally feel like if you're a woman and you're going out with a guy who's taking you out on dates, you kind of know if you actually like that guy, I would say by date three. So if you feel like there is no connection here, I don't really like this guy like that. You should probably let him know. That way he's not like, don't have some guy for you. After date three, if I feel like there's nothing there, we can actually stop. I'll probably let you know. Like, I don't really feel a connection. Yeah. And I'm not going to have you waste any more of your money or your time. And I also don't want to waste any more of my time getting ready to go on dates with the guy that I don't like. Right. I agree with you. See what I'm saying? A thousand percent, however. Okay.