 Hello there, my lovely, beautiful, talented, and delightful internet friends. Welcome back to my channel. Thank you so much for joining me here today on Footless Joe, where I am still Joe, and I am still indeed missing a foot. This video is going to be structured a little bit different than some of my other videos. This is a video message, a video letter directly to one individual, but I want you, my lovely audience, to know that this is a video for absolutely everyone, and I think the concepts and ideas and challenges and struggles that I talk about miss are actually things that many of us have felt, especially over the past 10 months, but with that being said, the rest of this video is to the one, the only, the amazing, Molly Burke. The very last thing before we dive in, a huge thank you to all of my patrons over on Patreon for sponsoring this video, for making these videos possible. I cannot say thank you enough if you'd like to be a part of our Patreon community, or check out what that could mean for you. Link is on screen and also down below, but without further ado, let's actually dive in. I think I've put a lot of pressure on myself this year to be people's escape, to be people's positive distraction. We're 10 and a half months in, and I can't keep pretending I'm okay. Hi there, Molly. My name is Joe, and it is delightful to virtually meet you. Before we dive into the meat of this video, I just want to say I feel like I'm channeling my inner Molly today because I had my hair dyed a really cute color yesterday. Dark purple, just a hint of some light blue at the ends. And you always have your hair really cute colors, so thank you for the hair inspiration. So a couple days ago, your video titled Being Honest About What's Happening in My Life popped up on my feed. I clicked it and I listened to the whole thing. Oh, I just spilled hot tea on myself again. Goodness. Not good at keeping liquid in cups. So much of what you said in this video, I can deeply relate to you. And I just wanted to take a moment to let you know how your words were received. I didn't want to burden you with my struggles. I know that this was a vulnerable video for you to make. I know it's something that you had anxiety and concern about posting because as you talked about, you haven't really wanted to open up about the fact that life has been really difficult for you, for you personally, for the past 10 months. And in your mind, other people have it so much worse. You still have your job, you have a family that cares about you. The list goes on of things that you are and in quotes should be grateful for. But nevertheless, you've had a really, really difficult go of things over the past year. And you talked about how you haven't wanted to talk about that, how you've wanted to be people's, you know, light and hope and inspiration during a really difficult time. And so you've tried to be really positive on camera, which I think is a very worthy goal. However, that has come at the expense of feeling like you're being dishonest and draining you. It's funny because I'm telling you not to feel guilt, but I feel guilt about the fact that that isn't enough to keep me happy right now, that I'm still in pain, that I'm still struggling. And so it's been hard for me to just feel like I can come on here and be honest and say that I'm not okay. And I know that for many of you, you see me as a pillar of hope because I am somebody who has so deeply struggled in my past. And because I am somebody who's overcome those struggles, I know many of you look to me for hope that you can overcome your struggles. That is another pressure that I put on myself, that I can't shatter that for you, that I don't want to break that hope. And what I will say is I hope this doesn't break that for you because my hope isn't broken. There's a specific moment in your video where you talk about the fact that you really hope that you talking about your struggles doesn't make anyone else lose hope because, you know, you're not, you're not losing hope even though it's hard right now and you're going to find your way through it. I just wanted to assure you that being honest, being vulnerable about where you actually are does not make people lose hope. I would actually argue the contrary. Posting videos where you are honestly being vulnerable and talking about things that are hard to put into words that are emotionally painful and difficult gives me hope, gives so many other people hope because I think it's a really understandable and very promoted mindset to put forth this, this face or this video or this post of positivity when we are all struggling through this pandemic. But the problem is when people are doing that, we all end up feeling disconnected because we're all having a really damn hard time. And to see someone say, I am really not okay, like yes, I have things that are good in my life. Yes, I am absolutely aware of the privileges that I have, but I am really not okay. That feels like a breath of fresh air. Seeing someone else be willing to drop at least a part of the mask is so incredibly refreshing because as important as having a positive leaning mindset is having a mindset of perseverance and I'm going to find a way through this and somehow it's going to be okay even if it isn't right now. Those are such important things. But in the culture we live in, there's this positive always mindset promoted and that's just not realistic. That's not human. The reality is that you are not the only person who is crying every day. You are not the only person who doesn't feel like their pain is valid. And that's really the reason that I wanted to make this video because you talked more than once in your video about the fact that you would never degrade someone else's struggles just because they aren't yours. The fact that one thing that pains me is when people come up to me after they've seen me give a public speech, after they've watched my videos and they see me in public and they come up to me and they say things like, you know, I was so depressed over my divorce and now I feel guilty because I haven't gone through nearly as much as you have and I'm like, stop right there. Your pain is valid. Like you talk about the fact that after giving speeches, people will approach you and be like, you know, I shouldn't have been having such a hard time with my divorce because gosh, your life has been so much harder. And you talked about how that really hurts you to hear because pain is valid. If you are feeling pain and is valid and I just wanted to say, Molly, your pain is valid, regardless of what you are grateful for, the good things in your life, regardless of the privilege that you have, regardless of anything, what you are facing is really difficult. We are in a bizarre time in the world. Everyone is struggling. But additionally, you have had some very severe and very specific things that you've been struggling with this year. And that's just the things you've talked about publicly, right? What you are going through is real. And there is no reason to feel like you shouldn't be allowed to have the space or the time or the words to put into words, what is hurting you, what you are struggling with. For the long list of very trying things that you've faced this year, I am so sorry that you've had to go through those. I'm so sorry for how that has left you feeling now. What you feel right now is entirely understandable and natural and valid. That doesn't mean that it doesn't hurt, but you're not weird and you're not alone for feeling that way. And please know that no one who has a remotely level head is at all judging you for struggling. Struggling is a part of our human experience as difficult as that is. And there is no need to always be happy or to always be positive. I too have felt that pressure to make myself be okay or at least seem okay, because other people have it so much worse than me. And it's really easy and really understandable to feel like other people have it worse. So I need to get my shit together. I need to be fine because other people, they deserve the space not to be fine. But I need to be fine for myself and for other people, because I don't have it as bad as them. The thing is, there is one person in the entire world who holds the crown for worst life, worst situation, but that doesn't mean that they're the only person who gets to feel pain. Your experiences are real. Your experiences are valid. And I'm so sorry for the pain that you were feeling. I know and your audience knows that you are going to find your way through it because you are a kick-ass, bad-ass, amazing, perseverant human being. But that doesn't mean that it's not okay to break down. It doesn't mean that it's not okay to show vulnerability to people who you want to show that to because there are so many of us who are here for you, who want to see you exactly where you are. And to anyone in my audience who is watching this, I wanted to take a moment to say the same thing. Your pain, my dear internet friend, is absolutely valid. Other people may indeed have it worse. And I'm gonna go ahead and put worse in quotes as well because everything is subjective. How we experience difficult things is influenced by our previous experiences, by the support that we have. What matters is that your pain and your struggle deserve to be heard. They deserve to be supported. During this pandemic, especially those of us who tend to be more empathetic or more people-pleasers, I think have sort of naturally fit into the role of always trying to support or always trying to bring other people up or always trying to be positive. And again, while those are beautiful aspirations, they come at a high cost and a cost that is not necessary. You do not need to shield the world from your pain because your pain, your hurt, your struggle, your challenge is equally as real as anything anyone else is facing. And there's no reason to stuff that down just because other people have it worse or just because other people are struggling. As a country and as a world and also individually, we will find our way through this. You are infinitely more perseverant than you are aware of. I am more perseverant than I am aware of. When things get really tough, it's easy to think that there's no way to make it. But I promise you there is, but it's really important that we take the time to spend on self-care, to spend on our mental health, to invest in ourselves because I know I've said this a lot and I hope it's not cliche at this point, but because you are absolutely worth it and what you are feeling is very, very valid. So to you, Molly, thank you for making this video. Thank you for publishing it. I truly appreciate it. You've made me feel less alone by talking honestly about your struggles. It is hard to not only put those things into words, but then also to hit publish on a video platform where your words are going to go up to hundreds of thousands of people. I know in moments when I've done similar things, when I've been vulnerable and it's been uncomfortable, I'm always terrified the moment before I hit publish and the moment after. I'm always like, that was a mistake. That was a mistake. I should take it down right away and I just want to say thank you for leaving that video up. Thank you for being real. It helps. Your vulnerability is a beautiful thing and it is helping people just as much, if not more, than all of your beautiful positivity. Like I said, to you, my lovely watcher. Molly's video is linked down below. I'd highly recommend going and checking out her channel. If you haven't already, I'm guessing you know who she is. She's pretty fabulous, but if you don't know her, Molly Burke is a content creator here on YouTube who creates amazing videos about everything from being a blind woman and her experience with that to story times, to fashion, to all kinds of cool things. And she always also has awesome hair colors, which I really like. So please go check her out. Please watch that video. Again, to my patrons over on Patreon, thank you for supporting this video and legitimately making these videos possible. Last but not least to everyone watching, thank you for taking a few minutes out of your day to be with me here today to listen to what I have to say. You could be anywhere in the world doing anything, but you chose to hang out with me for a few minutes. And I really, truly appreciate that. I love you guys. I'm thinking about you and I will see you in the next video. Bye guys.