 The makers of Wrigley Spearman Chewing Gum invite you to enjoy life. Life with Luigi, a comedy show created by Psy Howard, and starring that celebrated actor, Mr. J. Carol Mash with Alan Reed as the squally. Chewing Gum is giving daily enjoyment to millions of people all over America. In offices and factories, on farms and branches, in mines and oil fields, folks find that Chewing Wrigley Spearman helps them feel better and work better. The makers of Wrigley Spearman Gum are glad that their product is proving helpful and enjoyable to so many people, and they're glad too that they're able to bring you life with Luigi, because they know it's the kind of a radio program that millions of Americans enjoy. And now let's read Luigi's letter as he writes about his adventures in America to his mama basco in it. Mommy. American language is very funny sometimes. If you ask a big, strong man how he's a fill, he'll say, I can't kick. Then if you ask a sick man how he's a fill, he'll say, I'm so sick, I'm more rundown. It's hard to figure out the mom of me. A healthy man says he can't kick, and a sick man says he's feeling like a runner. I'm not feeling so good of myself lately. But nothing has hurt me so, so don't worry. Is it just that I'm, I'm gonna feel right there. Eight o'clock in the morning, I'm gonna feel like I'm asleep. Then at the night, I'm gonna feel like I'm to get up. Well, the clock in the afternoon, I'm gonna feel like a lay down. I'm gonna know what to do, go to the doctor or get a new clock. So far, the mama mia, this is when mama had a one cold after the other, and in my medicine, a chest is a donor business, they're with me 24 hours a day. Mama mia, for my medicine, a chest, was I had a lunchy counter, after it would be a drugstore. But tonight, when I'm gonna go to my night school or class, I'm gonna ask my friends what they think I'm sure to do. Don't worry about it, everything is gonna be fine. And now, class, let's turn to the grammar portion of the lesson you were assigned. Mr. Horowitz, you may tell us what is an active verb. An active verb? Yes, give us an example of a sentence with an active verb. Let me see. Oh, it's very good. Huh? I said something right. Mr. Schultz, now you may give us a sentence with an active verb. I see Betty. Uh-huh, and is she active? That depends on what Betty is doing. Mr. Schultz, if you don't know the answer, just say so. Tabasco? Give us another example of an active verb. Tell the truth to Mr. Schultz, and I'm gonna feel so active of myself. Mr. Schultz, where is the active verb in that sentence? I'm gonna know, maybe it's in the medicine at Chester. So I believe you actually don't feel very well. He don't, Mr. Schultz. I was talking with Luigi before school. He just don't feel right. And my advice to him was, he should close up his antique shop and lay in bed for a week. Yeah, but a hammer cannot run a business if I'm in a bed. Who's gonna stand by the cash register? Luigi, with the business you got, you could take the cash register to bed with you and nobody would know the difference. I don't think that is very good practical advice. Sure, that's practical. You only should kill himself with work if he don't feel well. I agree with Schultz. Sometimes exercise is better than bed, yes? We are talking about his antique shop. Luigi, stop worrying about business. You know what they say? A dead millionaire ain't worth five cents. Of course, now with inflation, he ain't worth ten cents. Ah, Schmei, Luigi, you ain't dead yet. You only look bad. Luigi, I have an old family remedy that might help you. You spoil up about a quart of water. Add a half of a bottle of real lemon juice, six tablespoons of sugar, and then a glass of whiskey. Ah, you know, we got the same remedy in our house. Only we leave out the water, the juice, and the sugar. Maybe you should see a doctor. When's the last time you visited your doctor? 13 years ago. Kimmel, if the doctors depended on Luigi for business, they would have to test cigarettes 24 hours a day to make a living. Well, certainly you should get an up-to-date physical checkup. In fact, I don't like your being out of doors too much. Oh, you don't? No, I think you should go home now, and somebody should go along with you. I mean, Spaulding, it would break my heart to leave the class two hours earlier, but I am willing to make the sacrifice. No, thank you. I think Mr. Olsen would lose least of the lesson if he went. Would you please, Mr. Olsen? Oh, I would be very happy to. Oh, would I be happy to accompany Olsen some time? I shall take good care of you. Well, thank you, Olsen, and a goodbye class. I'm sure I'm going to feel better tomorrow. Goodbye, Mr. Spaulding. Goodbye, Mr. Baskill. I'm sure you will. Goodbye, Luigi. Take care. Kimmel, what kind of farewell is this? He's only playing a little hooky with the teacher's permission. You'll feel better, Luigi, so smile. We like me, always happy, always lovely. My rheumatism is killing. I never like to impose my judgment on anyone, but in my opinion, you are not getting enough exercise. Exercise? Oh, I suggest that you go to a gymnasium and work out. Here, here, just feel my biceps. All right, what do you keep them? My arms? Go ahead, feel. Hmm, it's a harder like a rock. Let me see how I'm feeling. Oh, just like a spongy kick. Oh, there is your stiff. You should go to my gym and start weightlifting. Weightlifting? That's going to make me feel a good weight. Oh, nothing better. Yeah, for just a few dollars, you can be built up to lift weights as high as 250 pounds. Well, buddy, why am I going to do this, Olsen? I'm not going to go home and lift the rose. That's the cost of me nothing. Luigi, you are joking. And you shouldn't, your health is concerned. No, no, before you do anything tomorrow, go down to this place and you say to the man... I'm, I'm Luigi Baskill and my friend Olsen, he's accepting me down to this place. He was a peony, skinny runt. Just like you. I thank you. Olsen, he's a good friend of mine. In no time at all, I put two inches on his chest, two inches on his arms, one inch on his calf, and took five inches off his stomach. Oh, wasn't it the same Olsen? Only you divide him up a different, huh? Well, and I'll have you in tip-top shape in no time, too. I can tell by looking at you what's wrong immediately. Slugger circulation. Did you know that? I don't know it, I can't even say it. You know what's causing it? Your blood, man, it's crying out for oxygen. You're gonna hit it, huh? I don't have to, I can see it. All right, come on, let's step into the locker room. All right. You sure it's gonna be all right? Don't worry, just want you to try a few things. I see guys like you all the time. Yeah, here, get out of these shorts. All right. Mamma mia, the shot all right there. You know what's the cause of your weakness? No, what? Civilization. Huh? That's a bad decision? It's a poison. The average guy today always complains he's tired. That's my complaint there. And yet all he does is sit. You can tell, huh? Sure I can tell. Everybody's the same way. The minute he gets up, he begins sitting. Sitting at the breakfast table, sitting in the auto, the subway, the trolley car. Yeah, Donna, don't forget the bus. I'm always the user of the bus. Sitting in the office, sitting in the movie, sitting at lunch, sitting at dinner. You know what you get from sitting? Shiny pants. That's another decision. Flabby muscles, weak. That's a myth. All right, up you go. Please, not too much. Just to change the old man a little bit. All right, grab this 90 pound dumbbell. At a place with no call names. I'm going to like it that way. Relax. Will you please? This hunk of iron is called a dumbbell. Ah, my shawty. Now, lift it up. I lift it up. That's right. Lift it up. With the water. With your hands. Please, maybe you got a little, uh, five a pound of stupid. That's a dumbbell, stupid. Please, no names. Okay, okay. Now, you got to lift that dumbbell. It's all in the mind. Yeah. Keep saying this. We're as strong as we think. We're as strong as we think. We're as strong as we think. We're as strong as we think. Good. Good. Now, lift it up. Up. Now, wait, wait, wait, please. As long as we're as strong together, maybe you lift it up, and I'm going to say, oh, for God's sake. All I'm going to think is a five a pound. I'm about to stop. I'm going to get in the way. Nonsense. Now, do as I say. I'm going down. Straighten up. Hands up. Wrist up. Come on. I'm going to sit down. Don't sit down. Everybody move. All right. You see, chewing on a smooth, good piece of gum gives you a feeling of comfort and satisfaction. It helps relieve pent-up tension. And as a result, you just naturally feel better and work better. Then, too, wriggly spear mint gum has a lively, refreshing flavor that cools your mouth and freshens your taste. So chew wriggly spear mint while you work. You will really enjoy it. And now, let's turn to page two of Luigi Vasco's letter to his mother in Italy. Tell my mommy, instead of going into the doctor, I'm going to listen to Olsen, and I'm going to the gymnasium. All night, I was walking and walking like an army. And when I went to the bed and I got up in the morning, I felt like the army was walking under me. But at least there was one little help. I didn't think so much about my sore throat and my colds. My bones were a height of so much I could only think about them. But anyway, like the gymnasium manager told me, I'm going to try to think that I'm strong. I'm a tort and a tort all day. And then, before I went to bed at the night, I'm a tort, I'm a very serious doctor. So I'm looking at the telephone book and I want to door is open up. And then there comes my friend, Pascuali. Hello, Luigi, my friend. Hello, Luigi, hello, hello. Hello, Pascuali. Hello, little banana nose. What are you looking at the telephone book for? I'm looking for a doctor. Doctor, what's wrong with you, little cabbage-puss? Well, Pascuali, isn't nothing exactly. I'm just to feel weak all over. I've got no strength and I'm sleepy all the time. Luigi, you don't need to know doctors and no doubts about it. You've got all the signs of a jungle of fever. A jungle? That's not possible, Pascuali. I've never been in a jungle. You ever been in the zoo? Well, sure. There you are. Seatsy flies. He's a hangout there all the time. Hey, let me see your tongue. Come on, stick it out. All right. There's nothing wrong with that, Luigi. Your tongue looks as long as always. Luigi, I think there's a hope for you. How you doing? Yes. I'm going to give you a prescription that's going to guarantee you live as long as a married man do. 72 years. But Pascuali, I'm not the married. That's the prescription of my daughter Rosa. What do you say, my son? Get another patient, Papa. Look, Luigi, I'm only trying to help you. You think I like to see you walking around like this week, broke down a mimic. The way you feel, right now, if you was to catch any little sickness, it would be a catastrophe. Yeah, well, that's why I'm a like to say, go to the doctor. Go to the doctor. We're going to get the money to afford a one. You think I'm going to... You're my fellow boob. Oh, hello, Pascuali. Hello, Schultz. Hello, Schultz. Well, Luigi, tell me, how did you make it out with the doctor? Schultz, I didn't go to the doctor. Olsen has sent me to the gymnasium where he's a go. Then the gymnasium manager told me to go on a diet. Raw carrots, turnip juices, soy beans, whatever. That's the diet? Isn't it good, huh? Oh, no, no, that's wonderful. You could live for 100 years on that diet. If you happen to be a rabbit... Luigi, you little dumb cop, all of you are listening to everybody. Now, will you take me to Spalding's advice and go see a doctor immediately, if not sooner? Yeah, but that's what I was doing. Schultz, when Pascuali was coming... Yes, and I was stopping him. What? Luigi, any of you tired of your friends to still put advice to doctors, to gymnasium, to exercise, to broke in the back. You listen to everybody, but to me, you know what's to happen when you're getting a sicker. Why are you always running around like a crazy little plumber looking for a leak in the faucet when, all the time, you could have come straight to the drip. Maybe you're right, Pascuali. Nobody's a bigger dripper than you. That's a funny thing. When I must say it, it's a come-out of difference. Pascuali, will you stop bothering Luigi and let him go to the doctor? He don't need to know that. He needs my daughter Rosa. But that ain't a doctor. That's the whole harsh battle. Luigi's a wiser cracker. Luigi, go to the doctor. Only when he sues you for no pain is a bell. He's a daughter coming to me. I sure, sir. Pascuali, here's a set of the doctors that charge you a lot of money. That's no problem. You go to the clinic. The clinic? If you are over there, everything is free, nurses, doctors, medicine. That America gives you. Come on. I'm going to show you about that. All right. Pascuali, this time, I'm no kind of a refuser. Come on, issues. All right, Luigi. Go. But if you find out you're sick, don't blame me. You could have stayed with me and never know that you were sick until you died. Excuse me, Mr. Narciss. I was just examined with my faith. And somebody else is giving me a card which I'm exchanging for the Serede card. Where am I going now? Oh, let's see. You've had your orthopedic examination, respiratory, pulmonary. Take it over to Ward 4 for general physical. General physical? Ward 4? Thank you very much. Mama, there's so many people. It's enough to make somebody scared. Scared? Oh, excuse me. You Ward 4? Well, yes. I'm looking for a man in Army uniform. Man in Army uniform? Who are you looking for? General physical. This is the final examination. Let me have your card and chart. Thank you. Mr. Luigi Basco. How do you do, Mr. Basco? I'm Dr. Adler. How do you do, Dr. Fine. And how are you? Not so good. That's the way I'm here. Good enough. Sit down, Mr. Basco. And what wrong with you? Well, it's... I'm just a little weaker, Dr. I'm tired all the time. Do you smoke, drink, or keep late hours? Oh, no. And I'm a don't to play cards, you need it. Would you remove your shirt, please? Why, you don't like the shirt? I just want to listen to your heart. Oh, well, all right. I'm going to take them off. Fine. Now, now, hold still. Take a deep breath while I apply the stethoscope. All right, then. Take a deep breath. Mm-hmm. I'll make a note of that. What do you want to do, Dr. Now, the blood pressure, Mr. Basco. Your arm, please. All right, then. Aha! And, Doctor, please. What's this? Aha! It's a good old bed. I'll make a note of that. Now, for the tea, sir. When's the last time you checked your teeth, Mr. Basco? What, am I going to look at the check? I know it's a 32 all the time. Open the mouth, please. Wider. Wider. Ho-ho! Ho-ho, what's this? I'll just make a note of that. Now, the throat. A little wider. A little wider. You want to make sure to have a wider throat? No, no. I'll make a note of that. Now, for the teeth. Do you want to have a wider throat? No, no. Just open your mouth way open. That's it. Mr. Basco, do you have trouble breathing at night? You're joking? Mr. Basco, do you have trouble breathing at night? I don't know. I'm asleep in it. Have a look at the nostrils. Head back, please. The left nostril first. Now, the right one. Ho-ho! Doctor. Yes? I never understand this, so, which is it better? The movements of the door. Let me take care of the worrying, Mr. Basco. Now, you just put on your shirt. Pick up your charts and follow me into that office. I want to talk with you. I'd like to shoot it back down the camera right away. Oh, Doctor Adler, I would like to talk with you for just a second. It's about that 94-year-old Mr. White. Doctor Jones says his heartbeat is considerably slower. Let me see his record. That's the hit I am with Doctor. a minute. Let me see. This chart shows a definite sign of a breakdown, Ms. Lacey. Hemoglobin count, extremely bad, respiration rate. Hmm, very bad. What? I wish there was something we could do for him, but I think this is the end. Come on, mommy. Ms. Lacey, have him removed to the lower floor until he interns to make his last few hours as easy as possible. No, no, no, no. I'm gonna have to go to the vet. Oh, Mr. Buck. No, no, no. I'm gonna have to go to the vet. Can you life insurance the policy right now? Oh, Mr. Squally. How do you guess? Guess? You guess what? That I'm only got a few hours to live with. What? Who told you that? Well, it was a doctor in the clinic. Oh, so you went to the clinic. That's what they told you, huh? Well, I warn you. Let me see those. I'd like to hear it. Here, Mr. Squally. Blood and negatives. Negatives? What? You said I had a minute, Mr. Squally? Negatives means nothing. Come on, mummy. I'm gonna have to know blood. Pressure, negative, oppression, negative, a liver, blood, an abdomen, a negative. Mr. Squally, there wasn't my trouble all the time. I was empty and incisive. I see you right if you're doing what I told you not to go to the doctor. Luigi's a lucky few, I don't believe in him, so I'm gonna get you out of all this, but we gotta act the first. Act the first? Well, what the what the hell? You're the bachelor. You ain't got a longer to live. But a married man will live a much longer. That's like I told you, sadistics. Now, if you just say the word, it's to make you my son-in-law, I send you to the best sanitariums in the West to cure you. And if you still die, no burial is gonna be too expensive for you. Come on, talk quick. What do you say? What the kind of machine? I'm gonna get married. Ha-ha! It's the day of my life! I'm gonna call in the blush and the briar from the kitchen. Rosa! Hello, little baby. Rosa, say hello to Luigi. He's willing to get married. It's a corpse of your grave, a digger. Mr. Baskow, why did you run out of the clinic like that? Well, because you told me I'm not gonna lie till every user's gonna push me down the other floor. Just as I thought. We weren't discussing your case. I was giving the nurse some orders pertaining to an old gentleman in ward G. You mean I'm gonna live? Yeah. You're too late, a doctor. I already saved his life. The only thing I did find wrong with you, Mr. Baskow, and what may very well be the cause of all your symptoms are your tonsils. My tonsils? That's right. I'd have them removed immediately if I were you. I'll be very glad to recommend our finest surgeon for you. Well, thank you, doctor. Remember now I'm gonna feel a finer. Good. You come in tomorrow and we'll arrange for the operation. Goodbye. Goodbye, doctor. And thank you. Thank you, doctor. Luigi, take my advice. If you get all that talk, you're gonna get the same trouble all over again. No, Baskowale. I'm not gonna have my tonsils taken out. No wonder I was always so trodden. That's a fine way to talk to me, man, who's to save your life. Oh, no. Doctor is to save my life. I don't care who saved it. When are you gonna marry Rosa? That's never, Baskowale. Wait for my son. This time, I'm gonna save him in my own life. Well, goodbye, pop. Hello, Mamma Mia. I'm finally found out what's wrong with me. And the next week, I'm gonna have operation. I'm sure everything is gonna come out to fine, especially my tonsils. But please don't worry yourself too much, Mamma Mia. I'm gonna write to you next week, straight from the hospital, tell you all about the operation. And you know, Mamma Mia, if Baskowale was only have a daughter as nice as a nurse as they got to hear her, this letter would be signed. You're a loving children, Mr. and Mr. Luigi Basko. Instead of your loving son, Luigi Basko, the immigrant. Friends, the makers of Wrigley's Spear Mint Chewing Gum hope you've enjoyed tonight's episode of Life with Luigi. And they'd like to remind you that Wrigley's Spear Mint Gum is an ideal taste treat to enjoy between your meals. It isn't rich or heavy, yet it's refreshing and satisfying. As you know too, chewing helps keep your teeth clean and bright and also aids digestion. So next time you go shopping, get a few packages of healthful, delicious Wrigley's Spear Mint Chewing Gum. Enjoy it often between your meals and pass it around to other members of your family. They'll enjoy it too. The makers of Wrigley's Spear Mint Chewing Gum invite you to listen next week at this time when Luigi Basko writes another letter telling about his tonsil operation to his Mamma Basko in Italy. Life with Luigi is a Cy Howard production and is directed by Mr. Howard. Mack Menoff writes the script with Lou Dermott. Jay Carol Nash as far as Luigi Basko, with Alan Reed as the squali, Jody Gilbert as Rosa, Hans Connery as Schultz, Mary Shipp as Miss Baldwin, Joe Forte as Horowitz, and Ken Peters as Olson. Music is under the direction of Rob West. Rob Stevenson speaking, there's a TVS to prom be a broad casting person.