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Published on Mar 31, 2013
"The first thing I saw when I came back from the dead was a sky full of birds"
The first word I ever said was "pretty" My mom doesn't remember what I was talking about... probably a flower.
The last thing I saw before I died was...a bird flying across the sky.
Then came the memories. Random moments I remember telling myself "don't forget this, don't forget this. People, places, things, smells, sounds, tastes, regrets, victories, losses, all my animal friends over the years.
One of the things of childhood that didn't change for the worse, that didn't fade, that didn't lose its magic, but became more magical, at least for me, were animals. When I was a child I had stuffed animals. I talked to them, I slept with them, they were alive, but not really.
Then I got my first dog. I say "got' but nothing alive can be owned. Everything alive belongs to itself. In the dark shining of eyes of animals I see another consciousness looking out. It says "You can control me, you can trap me, you can kill me, you can eat me, but you never have and never will OWN ME." Empathy is not pity. They seem to say "we don't want or need your pity. We just need you to know we are HERE. We are free. Whatever you do. Freer than you. All we ask is to be left alive. Stop killing us, and the land and the ocean, stop tearing at and fouling up the miraculous ecosystem that worked for millions of years, you must evolve or die."
These are the kind of thoughts you have while you are dying. But then they brought me back. They pounded on my heart like a drum and I woke to see a flock of birds flying across the sky. My first thought again was "pretty".