 Well hello and welcome to Jonathan from the Heart. I'm Jonathan Asley of JonathanAsley.com and I'm so excited to be shooting this short video for you today. Our topic, how to get a guy to bond with you, bond with you, and this is an easy tip so I hope this helps. Really quickly if you're new to my YouTube channel please hit the subscribe button, hit the bell so you can be notified of new content and if at any time doing this video I share something that resonates with you please hit that like button. Really quickly these are my weekend videos I shoot out on my balcony very similar to the videos I shoot my private group called Midlife Love Mastery. This is a group where you can have direct access to me on a regular basis and I shoot videos based on the questions you ask. Personalize videos. Check out the link below to Midlife Love Mastery. Alright let's talk about how to get a guy to bond with you. Alright I'm gonna share a story. This happened some years back. I had gone on I think it was a second I think it was the third date with a woman who and while it didn't work out a really great lady we had a really nice time and on our third date I went to go pick her up at our house and what was really cool about this she had this beautiful home and she walked you know when I walked in and I think I brought some flowers or something I brought a gift and she walked me around the house and I was really amazed at just the her decorating skills it was very cool and she was actually in the process of redoing her kitchen and as we walked into the kitchen and I'd probably been there 15 20 minutes or 10 15 minutes at this point she had three tiles out that she was thinking about I think it was the floor tiling or the countertop I don't remember now it's been a while and she said Jonathan I'd really like to get your opinion on something would you take a look at these tiles and tell me what you think would be a good fit for my home I'd love to get your perspective I'd love to give your opinion and as I was doing it I felt a little uncomfortable at first because you know this is her home and then when I sat with it and then I we started to talk about and we had a really great conversation and what I meant to say is as I reflected upon it later I really felt very connected with her because she had asked for my advice I'm gonna repeat that I felt very connected with her because she asked for my advice and as I reflect upon it later I think back to you know anytime in my life whether it's a friend whether it's a coworker whether it's a romantic interest whether it's my children whenever someone's asked for my advice I perk up I feel a little bit more connected with them because someone is saying I value how you think I value your opinion and when someone values you when someone values your opinion it actually allows you or it creates an opportunity to bond with that person I mean you feel a greater connection when people say I value your opinion because what it's really saying is I respect your opinion on some level now she might have just been cavalier about it she might have just been very but she didn't have to do it that's what made it so interesting she didn't have to do it she did it and at that moment I felt very connected with her so one of the ways you can actually bond with a man is by start asking his advice now I don't mean you advice you know just vomiting you know questions and getting his vice but things that are personal to you when you invite him into your life when you invite him into something personal for you and ask for his opinion men and by the way men in not all men but men in general like to be helpers we like to be fixers we like to be your hero so when we actually when you're asking for our advice and we're able to share with you it allows us to be your hero now this is certainly true for emotionally healthy man for men who are emotionally stunted and emotionally challenged or stifled or maybe they're significantly wounded you know it's still going to make them feel good but just remember people who are struggling on the inside are very you know unpredictable in relationships this is one of the reasons why I'm such a big proponent of everybody reading my book what the heck is self-love anyway what the heck is self-love anyway because what it is is a journey of personal development self-help and spiritual work so you can actually begin to start feeling good about yourself from the inside out and ladies I recognize that many of you are feeling a lack of I'm not good enough I'm not lovable I'm not likable and I want you to know that men are feeling these same things too we just don't talk about it because we have been so conditioned to you know force you know you know block our emotions hide our emotions put them in a mask or wear a mask around our emotions and quite frankly this is one of the reasons why the way there's a beeping I'm sorry a car beeping I'm sorry about that again these are my weekend videos really quickly my coffee mug says coffee tastes better when shared and my t-shirt tell me what you think of this t-shirt it says I've got your back and you can see that this this person is missing a back and this person has it and this is what I'm a big proponent of leaning into something more serious in relationship and that happens to be centered around our own individual self-worth self-esteem self-confidence and recognizing that someone else has that same what am I thinking of same aspect of their personality or behavior what not because emotional maturity is how two people are going to actually bond together for a healthier happier way and I know many of you are frustrated that's why if you need some support on understanding emotional maturity check out the link to a free discovery call with me because one of my area of expertise is helping women vet for emotional maturity from men get it vetting for emotional maturity in other words asking the right questions because many of you are dating men who are quite frankly not compatible with you this is one of the things that fascinates me about women you'll continually date people who are not compatible with you but you say to me but Jonathan I love him so much no you're just attached to that person you're just attached to that person it doesn't necessarily always mean luck it might mean simply an attachment this is why I'm a big proponent of reading the books if you've watched any of my videos I continually talk about a variety of different books by the way my book is listed below in the description as well as also Jonathan recommends books all right let's get back to bonding with a guy as I said a great way to connect with another human being is when you ask their opinion you ask their advice and my hope is that men are doing the same for you because excuse me I'm gonna burp that demonstrates a level of care on your side as well and this is why I want to encourage more grown-up dating instead of this cavalier dating most people are doing which is mostly centered around chemistry-based way dating and not vetting for do we share the same values do we have lifestyles that are truly blendable and then lastly are they emotionally mature is this sinking in please tell me is this resonating please tell me write a comment below because I want to hear your thoughts on this because this is what I observe as being one of the fundamental challenges in relationships today is centered around emotional maturity and if you want to know what emotional maturity is you know I'm gonna you know I was gonna say let's talk about that in the next video but I'm gonna share it really quickly I think that the space of emotional maturity lies in between victim consciousness and righteous or entitled behavior I'm gonna repeat that it's somewhere in the middle of victim consciousness and righteousness and entitled behavior victim consciousness people are basically everything is happening to them versus and righteous people either have to feel like they're right or they have to feel that they're better than someone else that's the specialness that entitled space and a true emotional grown-up takes personal responsibility for their choices and they don't have victim consciousness they have Victor consciousness they're not about being right they're about being happy and that's why coming back to this mug coffee tastes better when shared it's better shared when you're with a partner that doesn't focus on being right they focus on how can we be happy in this relationship and if that if you really want to bond with a person then choose people like that but also recognize if you're not that person then you better start doing the work of self-love so you can start shifting from a egoic way of living and into a heart-centered way of living because when you're in a heart-centered way of living you're going to experience a much greater level of connection with another human being I could go on and on on this and if I will do this by the way you join me on my live streams you know join me in my group if you want to talk about this these are the deeper conversations and that's why I wanted to share this with you today so I hope I've given you some insight on how to bond with a guy a simple tip all right I think this is a good place to wrap up my video first off I'm going to give myself a big gigantic job to bear a hug of self-love I'm going to reach into the camera and give you a hug of love that's okay I'm gonna ask you to turn to someone or a pet or a teddy bear or a pillow and give it or them a hug of love because hugs are a great source of love and let's face it we could all use more love in our lives thanks a bunch bye bye now