 A very happy Mother's Day to all of you beautiful mothers out there, but today I want to dedicate this video to a very special momma out there, my baby momma. What is up everybody? This is Chris from the Rewired Soul where we talk about the problem but focus on the solution. And typically, typically what my channel is about is taking different topics from the YouTube community or pop culture and trying to see what lessons we can learn from them. And sometimes I like to give you a little glimpse into my life, alright? So if you're into any of that stuff, make sure you subscribe and ring that notification bell. So yeah, I wanted to make a video dedicated to my baby momma and one of the many reasons is because like kind of the norm, kind of the norm is that when people split up, right, like the relationship's awful and like I know that, you know, there are many children who have grown up with like divorced parents and things like that and it was very difficult growing up because you got to pick sides and all that stuff but my situation's very different. And like I'm just so, so grateful for that that I can't even fully put it into words. Like next month I'll be seven years sober and I have given my son's mother every single reason to hate me for the rest of her life but she is just this amazing mother, amazing person and we co-parent like champs together. So those of you who don't know me fully, I'm a recovering drug addict and alcoholic, I got sober on my 27th birthday. When I was in my final months of my addiction, I was on the path towards hitting my rock bottom. She was after a relapse and my son was actually about three years old and towards the end of that she, my son's mom straight up called me up and was like, I'm not going to let you see Dylan anymore. And I was just furious, furious, right, because she's an amazing mom that was protecting our son from me, you know, like because as an addicted father, you can only do so much or addicted parents, you can only do so much, right? And it's dangerous. It is. But I was so angry at her because the disease of addiction was so strong in me. I couldn't see. And like any logical normal human being would have said, oh, okay, this is causing me to lose everything, including my son. I'm going to stop it. That's not what I did. I started drinking and using more and sitting in self pity. Like this is why this is why I preach about like this personal accountability and responsibility. Because I wanted to blame her like in my addiction. I want to blame her. It is your fault. How dare you take your son, our son away from me, right? How dare you keep this kid away from his father, right? Because I didn't want to look at myself. That's one of the reasons I make these channel, these videos on my channel is because so many of us want to sit here and watch all the drama, all the tea being spilled because we don't want to look at ourselves and what we're doing to screw up. So I finally got sober and things were rough. Things were rough for quite some time. Like when I first got sober, I was unemployed. I wasn't able to pay child support. I was in California away from my son. I wasn't able to like watch him or anything. She had to take on the full responsibility of our child. Well, I had to go to California and get my act together. And you guys like this, like real quick, we're just with all the James Charles stuff going on. Like this is why like I'm such a huge advocate for forgiveness, right? Because I look back and as I share this story and looking back at where I came from, like I would not have the amazing life I have today if it wasn't for the forgiveness that people like my son's mother gave to me because I was gone. I was in another state and her new husband, like he came into the picture right before I got sober and imagine this. Imagine like put yourself in this dude's shoes coming into a relationship, helping raise my son while the deadbeat dad is out in California, miles and miles and miles away getting sober. This guy had every reason to hate me and that guy has been nothing but kind and respectful to me as my son's father this entire time. And I'm so grateful for that as well. But in the early stages, she still didn't trust me. She was very upset. And I remember I would get so mad because she was so mad at me. I would call my sponsor and I would just rant because she would say something to me on the phone or through text or whatever. I would call up my sponsor just screaming and complaining and he would listen to me vent all this BS and he would sit there and he would just say, Chris, have you given her any reason in the past to be upset with you? And I'm like, you SOB, right? But he was reminding me that I caused this. Like she wasn't just upset for no reason. Like I did this, right? But we don't want to think about that, you know? And something that I would teach my clients when I was working at the addiction treatment center was like, people aren't going to forgive you overnight. They're not going to. Actions speak louder than words. It's going to take time. So I knew, I knew. It was hard, but I knew I had to prove it to her. I had to prove to her that I was working hard on this thing. That's why actions speak louder than words. When I finally moved back to Las Vegas, she still didn't fully trust me all the way. And it was difficult. It was rough. Like she wasn't, like I had over a year sober when I moved back to Las Vegas. She still didn't fully trust me to watch my son by myself. And again, like I couldn't blame her. Like I was just coming back to be a father again. I've been in California for a year, you know? And even after a year sober, a lot of people from the outside looking in are still waiting for that shoe to drop, right? The other shoe to drop for you to relapse. Because how many times did I tell her that I was going to stay sober? And it hurt. It hurt, but I knew that I had to go through this, right? And the first thing, the first thing that happened was on Christmas, that year, on Christmas, I wasn't able to buy my son any presents because I was just getting on my feet. I had a job that was paying me like minimum wage and everything. So what she did, what she did was she took a bunch of those presents and she put my name on them for my son. And like, so even though our relationship wasn't like awesome yet, like that was just a glimpse that I was doing a little bit better and she didn't completely hate my guts. And to be honest, my son's birthday is New Year's Eve. So she did the same thing for his birthday, you know? When her and I were together, I was making amazing money, amazing money. And when I came back and I started working this part-time or not part-time, it was a full-time job just making crap money. I thought that she was going to be mad that I wasn't making that much money and couldn't provide for my son as much as I used to, but I was doing it. And like, she respected the fact that I was going to work every day. I was riding a bus an hour and a half each day to work, not calling in sick, all these other things, right? And she respected that about me and she saw me go on this journey and eventually get the job at the Drug and Alcohol Treatment Center and just having her tell me how proud of me she was, it meant so much to me, right? Because this woman, not only did she have every reason to hate me forever, but she saw me at my worst and she saw me build myself up and then eventually get into a job where I was able to help other people who were currently at where I used to be. You know what I mean? And that just meant the world to me. And man, I remember when we first, or when I first got sober, I was a mess. Like, nobody came to me for advice or suggestions. She would basically just call me up and say, what's going on with our son and then just be like, bye. And I'm like, right? But today, because she's seen that change in me, like she co-parents with me and she'll call me up and say, hey, here's going on with Dylan. What do you think we should do, right? And we could sit down when I go and I pick him up and, you know, I can sit down and talk with her when we work through stuff. And we talk about co-parenting with our son. And if I can give any advice to anybody out there who is like, you don't even have to be in recovery for this, but I truly believe one of the reasons that her and I have such an amazing relationship and why our son hasn't been royally screwed up yet is because no matter how angry we've ever gotten at each other, we've always put that kid first, right? We've always put him first. Like, I get so heartbroken when I see other people who are split up and there's a kid in the middle and they're using the kid as a weapon against each other. And maybe it's because her and I both came from divorced parents and we knew how that messed us up. But we've never fought in front of that kid. We talk things through. We hang out together. She invites me over because my family's in California. She's invited me over for Thanksgiving and Christmas. Her family is still there for me. And like, I don't know, like during times like this and some of you wondering like, you know, like, oh, how does Chris keep that smile on his face? Even when crap hits the fan. It's because I have been just blessed with this amazing life that sometimes I don't even deserve. You know what I mean? Or I feel like I don't deserve. And like, she is just this amazing, amazing mother. And I wouldn't be a great dude if I didn't take the opportunity to use my platform to tell all of you how amazing this woman is. All right. But anyways, I hope I hope you all have had a fantastic Mother Day. And if you're watching this on Mother's Day, call your mama. If you haven't called your mama yet, call your damn mama. All right. But anyways, that's all I got for this video. If you like it, give it a thumbs up. If you don't like it, what is wrong with you? But anyways, if you're new here, make sure you subscribe and ring that notification bell. Huge thank you to all our patrons out there. You are all amazing. You want to help support the channel? Click the top right there. All right. Thanks again so, so much for watching. I'll see you next time.