 And that's where I think being an introvert really helps you is that I don't get caught up in whether or not people like me because I don't really care if people like me. I get really caught up in finding ways to like them and creating emotional connections that bind them to me in a way that makes it almost impossible for them not to say yes when I ask. What's up everybody and welcome to the show today. We drop great content each and every week and we want to make sure that you guys get notified and in order to do that you're going to have to smash that subscribe button and hit that notification bell. And if you've gotten a lot of value out of this make sure you give us a like and share our videos with your friends. Well like I started in sales in high school. It's crazy as it sounds. I had joined the yearbook in 11th grade because in my senior year I didn't really want to work that hard and the yearbook was full of girls and I was really into girls. And into sports. So it seemed like a natural thing to do. So I joined the yearbook and that spring Mr. Rouse who was our yearbook advisor came in said hey you got to go out and sell some ads. So we have some ads for the yearbook. We had 30 days a quota of about $300. And I could tell immediately nobody liked to sell ads because everybody was rolling their eyes and they were oh my God I got to sell ads. I didn't know any better. So I went out and I lived in a little place called Harlem Georgia. And which is one stop sign in the middle of nowhere. So I went out went downtown went to Hall's hardware store walked in reached my hand out. Mr. Hall I sell ads for the yearbook would you like to buy an ad. And he looked at me and reached behind the counter opened up this big checkbook and he stroked me a check for an ad. And that was when I fell in love with sales like I could go ask people for things and they would give me money like I sales crack right there. And I ended up going all over that town all over the next town all over Augusta Georgia. I sold thirty seven hundred dollars in ads came back set down with all the girls in the in the class and me because I was the token man at the time. And everybody went through what they sold 30 days later. Most people hadn't even gotten their quota. Most people had gone home sold an ad to their mom or dad or what have you. And then they asked me and I had this wada checks it was like this thick. And I'm like I sold thirty seven hundred dollars and nobody believed that you could just see the like in their faces. That's when I really fell in love with sales. I mean because you can sell stuff and then you can shock people. And then on the way out the room Mr. Mr. Rouse grabbed me and said that was amazing. I can't believe you did that. I'm going to make you editor of the yearbook. And then I figured out man if you can sell you can make it rain. If you make it rain people will give you more stuff. So I ended up being editor of the yearbook. Of course all the girls at that point then hated me because I wasn't supposed to have the job. Now I'm the boss. But I learned a lot about sales and that's when I fell in love with it. That's when I knew that this was something that I probably wanted to do because it was fun. I go out. I talk to people. I get to know them. I ask for money and they give me money. I can't figure out a better way of doing things. So I got in sales and I've been doing it ever since. And would you consider yourself an extrovert? No I'm I am a total introvert. I'm really terrible around crowds of people. I say terrible. I can be good around crowds of people. I just walked out of the outbound conference. So we had a couple of thousand people all together for the first time. And I'm walking around talking to people shaking hands. But I'm in an environment where I'm on stage. So I'm in that environment. It's my conference. Our user conference. So I'm totally on stage. Totally doing what I like to do. But if you send me to a party I'm the guy sitting in the corner. I don't do really well with meeting new people or strangers and social environments. I'm great in a sales conversation. And in fact I wrote a book called sales EQ around about cell specific emotional intelligence. Really because I noticed that there are a lot of really good salespeople that are like that. Like they're not what you would consider to be. Like these people that go out and they're they're total extroverts and they're. You know they the gift of gab which really isn't something that helped you sell anymore. Talking at people doesn't really make people like you any better. So so I'm really an introvert. I get my energy from being alone. I'm happy being alone. I really don't need people around me that much other than my wife who I love more than anything else in the world. But she's the only person that I really I can't like physically live without. I like to have her in my life. But other than that I just don't need people. What I am is an extrovert if you were to talk about it in a sales conversation. So when I'm in a sales conversation I know what I'm supposed to be doing. I'm I'm on stage and my good friend Matthew Pollard who wrote the introvert's edge would tell you that I'm also very very good at using a system for selling and a system for engineering relationships and engineering connections in a way that allows me to bend the probability that when I ask for someone to do something that they comply with the request that I've made of them and that's where I think being an introvert really helps you is that I don't get caught up in whether or not people like me because I don't really care if people like me. I get really caught up in finding ways to like them and creating emotional connections that bind them to me in a way that makes it almost impossible for them not to say yes when I ask. Well, Jeb, I think you have just squashed three myths right there in that. So let's break each one apart and look at them separately. The first one being the obvious that salespeople need to be extroverts and the introverts cannot be salespeople. So what do you have to say about all that? Let's go ahead and break that down first. Well, let's just think about it like this. In every interaction with another human being, there are five basic questions that that person is asking about you in that interaction. Now, those five questions are both being asked at the conscious level and at the subconscious level. So sometimes people don't really know, they just know how they feel about it. And that's do I like you? So it's basic for human beings, right? So in a lot of cases, we don't know that we like or dislike a person. I mean, I guess our subconscious mind knows that before we know it, it's something that happens sort of instantaneously. So do I like you? Do you listen to me? Do you make me feel important? The need for significance, the need to feel that you matter is the most insatiable human need. Do you understand me so you get me in my problems and do I trust and believe you? So when you start thinking about those questions, do I like you? Do you listen to me? Do you make me feel important? Do you get me in my problems? Do I trust and believe you? If we just start with the basic, do I like you? I mean, you know, dressing nice, being nice, you know, being polite, all those things matter. But the easiest way to be likable is just to listen to someone. I mean, if you think about the most unlikeable human being in your life as a person standing in front of you, talking about themselves, right? So what do a lot of salespeople do? If you're an extrovert, you walk through the door and you're pitching. And a lot of the reasons why you're pitching is because you're an extrovert and you get your energy, right, from, you know, engaging other people. And you think that by talking, you're in control. And by the way, when you're talking, it makes you feel important. But it's not about you. It's about them. So when you're listening to another person, not only are you having the opportunity to be likable, but you're also making the person feel important and significant. You make them feel significant because by listening to the other person in the conversation, you're giving them the greatest gift that you can give another human being. Now, let's just step back. I want you to think about this for a moment because that gift matters in sales. Now, this is not in a personal relationship. In a personal relationship, if I'm meeting you at the bar, or I'm getting to know you on a podcast, it's a little bit different. I don't have like a core objective, but in sales, there's an objective. I'm in the conversation for a reason. I'm not there for my health. I'm there to get you to comply with a request. It could be a micro commitment. It could be a buying commitment. It could be one of those things. So when I make you feel significant, I give you that gift. When I ask you to make a commitment, you owe me. Like I tap into the rule or the law of reciprocity by making you feel important. I also create a deep emotional connection. Like you feel better about me. Along the way, as I'm listening to you, and this is what introverts are really, really good at, we're really great at just letting people talk. So as I'm listening to you, I'm doing a couple of things. One, I'm triggering the self-disclosure loop, which gets you to start talking to me. And I'm getting you to tell me your story. You're teaching me your language. And so as you teach me your language, as I come back to you, because there's a point where I have to say something, like I'm going to build a value bridge from the things that you're telling me to how I'm going to solve your problem. We are in a sales conversation. When I build that value bridge, I do it in your language, not my language, taps into the similarity bias, which makes you feel like you're closer to me, which means that I'm going to be more trustworthy to you. So by what introverts do so well is they're able to listen. They understand that sales is a language of questions and they understand at the core foundational level that influence has derived not from what you say, but from what you hear. So all I'm doing in a sales process is engineering the relationship. I'm putting myself in a position to build that emotional connection. And I know that when I answer those five questions in the affirmative, it becomes almost impossible for you not to comply with my request. In other words, not to advance through the sales process with me, which is important, or to end up buying from me. And it's all about building that relationship. And that's why introverts overall are fantastic salespeople. Now introverts do have a problem. And the problem, Johnny, is that introverts are afraid to go out and be a little pushy. Extroverts have a real advantage when it comes to prospecting and interrupting people and cold calling. And introverts have a real advantage when it comes to empathy and being able to step in someone else's shoes and to be other focused. So for most salespeople, we have to balance those two things. If you're an introvert, what we have to do is teach you to be intentional about outcomes, right? You have to be intentional about asking for what you want and about going out and interrupting people. And if you're an extrovert, what we have to do is teach you to be intentional about empathy, about listening and stepping in other people's shoes and putting away your self-centered need to be the center of attention and put someone else at the center of attention, which means that you're going against everything that's happening in your head. I want to be important. I want to tell my story. I want to do all those things. I want to talk. We have to work on both of those things. And it's the balance between the two because most people are either one of the other people, either outcome-driven or they're empathy-driven. And we have to learn that. We have to learn the process. And I know that you teach this in your practice and your podcast. The art of charm, you have to learn how to shift and get control or rise above your natural communication style so you can better connect with other people. But I always begin with those five questions as how I'm connecting as an introvert.