 I found her face down in her puddle and then she was gone so her funerals on Friday if it wasn't going to come. Anyway welcome to episode number 15 of the Mighty Michael Fully Actual podcast. Episode 15? 15. Holy shit. You know what we fucking realise is we'll fucking set up that we don't have a bloody chair for you. That's alright I don't need it. We gave you this episode 5 so next week that's our promise to you Brown. Unless you want something today. I don't want anything today because I can see in your eyes that it's just... What about a one time show? No. No. What about a one time chair until you get your new chair? Here's the thing about the chairs okay? I'm starting to get... Now you're going to laugh by the way but this is real alright? No no this is real. This is real. I'm getting... I'm going through a lot of back pain. I'm getting old and the chair like you've got to sit in it for two hours like you used to do this. I've been standing lately because I've been in so much pain the balls aren't holding up very well. Like I've got a massive dick in balls and that thing just sucks right up on door. Squishes it. Yeah so it's been a struggle. It's just a shit chair like we'll have at this. We'll endeavour to make sure the next chair is semi-comfortable. Can I present just what we were going to do for the one time show? Yeah go on. He's just shy to see what he... I know what he's going to say. He'll just say, oh I wouldn't have started on it. I wouldn't have started on it. You have to try once. Where's he going? He's getting the chair. He's going to the garage. He's going to the garage. It's nothing... It's not a like a pre-planned chair this one. Yeah I bet it's not. Michael just thought of this on the fly. Anything that Michael thinks of on the fly is not a good idea. That is so true. If he comes up with good ideas it's brainstormed over a few hours. Here we go. It's not even big enough to go behind his base holding it with one hand. No it folds out. It folds out. It's holding it with one hand. It folds out. Folds out heaps. Is that close your eyes? Just show me please. No please. I'm not sitting on it. Stupid fucking long chair. Fuck I hate my chair. Oh my god. What do you mean you hate your chair? You have a cump. It's not good enough. It's not good enough. You're better. Okay now close your eyes. Ready? Three. Two. One. Michael has had a matter of brick. Dude can you just dry it out? It's got some bush in it as well. A brick with some bush on it. You can sit like that or for a bit of height. You can sit like standing up on its end. Yeah like that. Which would you rather? I feel you're not taking this seriously. Yeah this is only the one time show. So it's not forever. Anyway look we'll get back to this chair. Do you want to... Right. Anyway this is his chair for this episode. The brick will try and get him to sit on it but no guarantees. He's very very wholesome. Would you consider now since that happened you have to sit on this for the whole thing? I'll sit on it for 10 seconds. Okay. 10 seconds is better than nothing. Which way do you want it? So Matt's going to sit on the brick now. I can go tall so it's like you're higher. Relax and put full weight on. He's sitting on the brick now. Is that hurt? But if you had padding there... In the backrest we'll get another brick. We'll just put the brick up against the wall. You can lean back against the wall. You're not being funny. You've been really rude. I try so hard with every seat that you give me and you just... My back is just a joke to you. Can you just have the brick next to you? It's in shock. I want it on the couch. Anyway guys episode number 35. We've got a jam packed episode. We've got a first ever female comedian coming on. Nina Goldman. Yeah. So she's going to be on for a cheeky little interview and we're going to do some Greek games with her. And what else? Just fucking Matt's Tinder adventures and the prank call. Prank calls. And stuff. Just be careful of the call. We don't want a disaster to happen. Yeah. So everyone fucking sit down and get your shit ready man. What's been going on? How's the weekend? What did you do on the weekend? I went to Ararat. Not Ballarat, Ararat. It's near Ballarat. Is it really? Yeah. It's like an hour out. Is he lying Matt Brown? What are you doing with that fucking... Sorry. It's part of my weekend. It was a beautiful time. He's got show and tell. What have you found? That's got show and tell. What did you went to Ararat? Yeah. Family stuff with the girlfriend side. How was it? Fiance. And it was beautiful. It's a nice place isn't it? Yeah. We went on an amazing hike. Oh yeah. Where was that? What was the hike called? Hull Creek. Fuck. It's gone out of my brain. Hull's Gap. Hull's Gap. It's like a beautiful little mountain range. Aliens were there. Oregon. Yeah. That'd be a good spot to go alien hunting. I've got... I had such a good break out. What'd you do? I needed a muddy next. Yeah. I had my birthday on Friday night. And then me and one just went out and drank stupidly. And now I'm just fucked again. Boring. All right. This is what I did. I worked on Saturday. So I had an easy Friday night and stayed in and stuff. What the fuck is this? I had an easy Friday night. And then... What's an easy Friday night? Just chill. Just stayed in. Got some takeout. Got some ice cream. I had a swell of a glass of wine. I watched some Sopranos. It was good. And then... Yeah. So then I worked on Saturday and did some work. And I finished it around 12. And then I was like... Fuck it. I'm going to have a loose weekend. And anyway... There's two parts to this. Oh my god. So yeah. I went to... Let's jump to the night time. We'll come back to the daytime. Night time I went and saw a movie. And... Shut up. Which movie was it? You can't say this. I went and saw Guardians of the Galaxy 3 Marvel. Oh my god. It was very cool. It was good fun. By yourself? No. I went with a friend. And yeah. It was a good time. A girlfriend? Your day better saved it. What happened during the day after work? Was there anything that was fun? Guardians of the Galaxy? No way. Yeah. Let's move on from that conversation. Okay. Sorry. Well... Isn't it the second? The third. Did you go with me? No. No. Just one of the movie boys. Anyway... What's the movie boys? I've got a little movie group. No. Bullshit. You've got a movie group. I've told you it's like 14 times. You've got a group with movie people. Well they're like mates that were mates of mine for years. But now they've got like families. And they're married. And they've got jobs and stuff. So you have a chat about the movie after. And so like the only time we really get to catch up because we're not really part of the same friend groups. Like I'm in one. One's in another. One's in another. And so the only time we really bond now is like we all go see a movie. Yeah. But do you talk about the movies in the chat? Sometimes. Dude. Dude. Dude. Dude. Please. Please. Please let me read some of the... It's not good enough. There's nothing good enough. It's just us talking shit about. I have to go back and... Just with him. When you're after the movie. What did you say to this person? I walked out the front and I said, what do you think? What do you think? It was alright. Did you have a Scotch and Cigar? No. Did we talk about like the directors and stuff? No. Come on. No. The directors of the film. Yeah. Have you ever? Yeah. Oh. That's fucked. Now we more talk about like the film itself sometimes. Okay. Have a little recap out front. Oh. Fuck me. Anyway. So yeah. Watch Guy in the Galaxy 3. Overall it wasn't as good. I still think the first one's the best. But there was a really cool hallway fight scene that was pretty top notch. So it was not bad. Don't say that. I've got a popcorn and a Choctop. Very good. What happened in the day? Anyway. In the day they had the collector's market on. Down at near Beanley. And they sold basketball cards and Pokemon cards and other cool things. All right. And Madeleine ended up going out of all this. Where'd you go on Sunday? You've got to save this weekend. Saturday. How do you save the weekend? What did you do on Sunday to have fun? How did you find out about this market? Oh, if you're just in some of the chats. So you've got another chat now? No, no, no. You have another chat. You follow pages and you hear things. And you know, you just, you find things out. Anyway, I was, um, I was at the collector's market and, um, and, uh, there was a sticker guy there and he did like, he does like portraits and stuff like that, but he does heaps of stickers and I bought like a cute little sticker for my computer. Oh my God. It's a little Star Wars. Star Wars. What are they called? Computer. It's a stormtrooper. Stormtrooper. So his name is mechanical pen underscore. Shout out. Oh. Yeah. And so I bought a little suit. Were you dressed like this? No. Oh, damn it, man. I was actually in my PJs sort of. Oh, that's bullshit. No, I call bullshit on that. Oh no, it was cause I went to work and I forgot I bought a ticket to the collector event and then, um, and then yes, I was in like my, I was in like a jumper and my sweatpants and I just wore, um, I just wore a comms that had in the car and I was like, fuck. I was like, do I go home and change or not? But then yeah, I just went down there and just walked around. I was by myself. So Sunday. And yeah. And I bought the sticker. Do you like the sticker? How do you save it? Fuckin' sticker, man. I was like five bucks. The dude was a legend. He like pulled me. I didn't even, it wasn't even going to get him. This is bullshit. If this is real, we're not friends anymore. I bought a sticker. Is this real life? We should cut all this now. And then I went for a walk on Sunday. Anyway, it was a good weekend. I don't know about you guys. It was a good weekend. I bought some basketball cards. Yeah. Okay, man. That's, that's, that's enough. Anyway, moving right along. You have to sit on the brick for that, dude. That's the rule. At least put it behind your back. Yeah. Sit on it on the chair. Please. I'll do it. For a bit, then you do it for a bit. Oh no. What? A chunk in my mouth. Oh my God. They're like yours. Oh no. You should have added to the golly bottle. It's too far away. You should have brought it in. You wouldn't believe this. When Michael started another golly bottle. No, just leave it. He's, he's come in today and he's not feeling 100%. He's got some shit in his throat. And he started spinning up gollies. Yeah. Well, you too. And he's, so we have another golly bottle underway. We don't know how full it'll get, but it could be, it could be interesting. Something to, to match the mince bottle. Ha ha ha ha. Anyway, sponsors can't. You're a fucking junkie. You're a piece of shit. You're a fucking piece of shit, man. And I know that's hard to hear everybody, but you have to go to athleticgreens.com slash fully actual and get yourself a fucking athletic greens subscription. There are 75 nutrients in there that will break your back. They're so healthy for you. You have a broken back and be lying on the ground screaming. That is how fucking healthy this shit is for you. It will make you so fucking swollen and big. You'll fuck. Can't stop. Can't. You hurt your back. Your back will be hurt. You'll really damage your spinal fluid. Athletic greens. Okay. It's so healthy and you're not healthy. Put some healthy shit in and break your back with me. Can't. Athletic greens. Really breaks your back. You get a free travel pack too, by the way. Really? Yeah. Yeah. If you use our code. Yeah. What's it going to have some today? Fully actual. No, I'm not today. I will though. Man, it helped. Anyway, man escaped. Fuck you. You have. Greek. Greek. Man escaped. Yeah. Yeah. Sorry. I was just having a go at the Greek people. I shouldn't have done that. Yeah. Maybe bleep that. Maybe bleep that he says. This is meant to be a sponsorship. Yeah. A sponsored shit. Go to manscape.com. Fully actual 20 for 20% off. They got all sorts of shit for you. Nutsack your foreskin. Oh fuck. What is that? That smells really good. That's the ball toner. Ball toner? Where your balls would smell like that? Man, that's crazy. It's fresh. They got heaps of shit. They got the lawn mower. You can shave in the shower. It's waterproof. And you don't nick your nutsack as much. You still do sometimes though. So be careful to flatten your skin out as much as you can. And hold it taut and tight. So the testicles really smooth the skin out at the top. And then drag your fist down further. And then you can shave it and be pretty confident. Won't nick your sack. It works. I haven't cut myself since. There you go. It's good. See, Michael's even hauling a sign. I've shaved with like a clippers before. And there's always a cut. Yeah. So manscapes, it's much better. Much better. All right. You have the Matt Brown approval. So go fully actual 20, 20% off and get your nuts sorted. Michael's trying to stop you. No, I like it. It's very good. My good salesman. My fucking good salesman. I'll give us that. Haha. Breathe now, I can't. Jesus, that went really. It really took up the airspace. Oh my God. I can't fucking breathe anymore. And of course our subscription website, the University of Markle where our new website is out and you can even search for videos, comment on them and shit. It's fucking hectic as shit everybody. And we put videos out every week. That's crazy. This is what I was like to fight in the trenches in World War One. Matt, they're not promoting things during then. Sorry. This is a weekly video and it's just so crazy. What's the one we just posted this weekend? We haven't even decided, have we? Was it the shit cannon? Oh yeah, worms in real life. Oh wait. Where the loser out of us two, we build a fort each, shoot each other with potato guns. That actually sounds like a good video. And then the loser gets shot with a potato gun full of human shit. And let me tell you the results are shocking. 21 day free trial, link in the description. That could be a good arm. A good arm. You're not even making sense anymore. Segment everybody. We're not going to have a German or a gibberish because we've already, we've got like... We've got a guest and we've played some games. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So we'll be right back after this bong break with Bianca. Bong, bong, bong, bong, bong. Oh my God, I wish you went for another 10 minutes. I tried to go for longer. Imagine that for half an hour. Connor, can you just cut that and make it half an hour and then just put it in? And we're back and here we have one of our, one of our first ever female guests. She's a comedian straight out of Brisbane. Her name is Bianca. And her stage name is Katrina. And what other aliases do you go by? Hilda Kamiltovich. A personal trainer with a massive Kamilto. Russian. No, but... Best known as Katrina, the real Wog Wife of Brisbane, aka Bulimba, because that's where she lives. And what's your Instagram? The real Wog Wife. The real Wog Wife, if you want to check her out, guys. So it does comedy, now professional comedian. Would you say comedian or actress? I wouldn't go that far. How would you describe your profession? I would... Oh, fuck, I hate this question. I definitely wouldn't say I'm a professional comedian. I started in theatre and grew up as a theatre kid and then tried to move into film and TV. So, you know, those people like to call themselves actors. And now I'm just making a stupid show which... You're a performer. Yeah, I'd say an artist, a creative artist, whatever. Yeah, that'll do. Yeah, okay. Well, me and Marty, we used to be tennis coaches. We went to Uber driving. Beautiful. Now we're doing silly videos. So what, professional idiots? Yeah, I guess just profession... Literally, we just turned being fucking idiots into a job. Love that. Stop segwaying into what I do. Yeah, what about you? With the hair. Yeah, so before we started rolling, Bianca thought that Matt's hair was real. He's wearing the only, like, real, like, good quality wig we have. Do you reckon I could walk? Look at how fucked he looks. She thought that that was real. That's how you style your hair. But that means, like, I work in an office. I was like, do you reckon I could wear this and pull it off? Yeah. Now, I work for a company called Holsem and they supply concrete to the building industry. There's no way that you could pull that off. They would send you straight home if you rocked up. Now, what do you explain to Bianca what you do? Well, why? Well, I think it's important that we all get to know each other. So all I do is supervise a team of customer service and salespeople. Wow. For concrete. Okay. It's boring. I don't want to talk about it. Oh, fuck. It's very good. Anyway. Anyway, I've dropped the day off. Should we hold hands? Now, we have a mutual person in common. Don't we? Mr. Mike Goldman. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Mr. Mike Goldman. Now, for those of you who don't know, Mike Goldman, he used to be the host of Big Brother. And if he spoke, you'd know his voice. He has a lot of voiceover work now. Amart Allsport. Exactly right. That's exactly right. And remember that me cat show? Me cat man. He was the voice for that. I loved that show. Do you know he used to come in? Me and James, we used to work at a video shop at Cannon Hill. Yeah. And Mike used to come in and rent DVDs when I was younger. That's cute. I used to be a little bit starstruck. What kind of DVDs would he rent? Movies. I think bad. I've got no naughty stories. But yeah, he just used to be a customer. Yeah. So we, Michael and I had... Do you remember Briggs 31? Yeah. That fucking shitty... That still exists, doesn't it? Not anymore. I think it's just online now. Because we had the last ever show on Briggs 31. And it was like a little like interview talk show thing. And our first ever guest was Mike Goldman. And that is how we met Mike. That's right. And then he's like pestering you since, like, hey, can you hook my wife up? So you should hook him. Can we do something? Yeah. So we've been talking to Mike to get him on. And he suggested we get Bianca on. And here you are. Here I am. You are the only women you've ever had on. You're the second. You're the second. We had Eila. Matt's deep passion. And Jess as well. Maitland Smith. So we've had lots of women. Great. Well, you're going to get two women today, right? Me and Katrina. Yeah, that's right. Yeah. So Bianca's going to turn into her state. Just Katrina a little later on. So what's going on at the moment? You are performing at the, what are you touring? Are you just doing one show? What's going on with your show at the moment? Yeah. So I just wrapped up two shows at the Brisbane Comedy Festival. Oh yeah. Which was cool. Is that the only two shows you got? Just, they only gave me two shows. Yeah. Well, that's good. That's good actually. It's exhausting. Like to be on stage for 60 minutes, I'm singing and dancing and sweating profusely. So two shows is great. And then what's next? I'll probably do a couple of shows down at Hotter on the Gold Coast. I don't have dates locked in or anything like that, but I want to tour it around next year. So now I just need to spend some time, find a producer who will help me. That's a bit of a producer. Oh, maybe I can save you from your concrete job. You want to come on the road, babe? Yeah. Yeah. So I'd like to do the like Australian comedy tour next year. Yeah. Adelaide, Perth, Sydney, Melbourne. So has it always been like, because you mentioned you did your acting and stuff. Yeah. Did you always want to do like comedy acting or was it just like acting and then you just sort of started doing the comedy stuff? You know what happens? Like this would have happened for you guys too. Like you fall into something, right? So I created Katrina during COVID. I've always been doing stupid characters. And then she started getting a lot of views and I was like, oh, okay, we'll keep on going. And then I always wanted to do a one woman show. That's been something that I wanted to give a go. And yeah, created the show. And then here we are. But I still do other acting stuff on the stage. Yeah, you've got a movie coming up, right? Yeah, I've got a movie. What movie? It's called Narcissus. Actually, that's the working title. I don't know if it's going to stay as that, but it's a black and white feature film that we're entering into like Cannes Film Festival for next year. Oh, wow. Quite arthouse. Completely opposite character to who Katrina is. This is really like serious acting role. There's tears. And I mean, there's tears in Katrina's show as well. So, yeah. It's always different. I love it. That's what I love about this industry. Yeah. Yeah, it's a hustle and a grind. But yeah, every day is different. Yeah. Was it hard to be serious and not be funny on a film? Like when you're acting? Yeah. Like changing to a real serious character rather than a community one? Yeah, what's your favorite role to play? Oh, I love them all. Yeah. I love comedy. I love writing comedy. I love leaving a set having a great day, right? As opposed to leaving set after having to, you know, fall your heart out. Yeah. Do you literally get like sad? When you cry, do you get a youth then sad for a while after because you can't just snap out of it, eh? I feel like I can snap out of it. But the thing that I have discovered and why I believe that actors get paid so much money is because we trick our bodies into feeling shit that is really dark. So like you go in to do a scene, I don't know, an example like, let's just say your partner's cheated on you. So then you trick your body into feeling all of this stuff and all of those chemicals that actually, you know, happen in your body, happen when you're acting in the scene and then to try and let that go, that takes time. Yeah. So it's pretty, and same with like performing on stage, all of that adrenaline that pumps through your body but yeah, you can't go home and just crash in bed. You need to wind down. So it's exhausting. Wow. Yeah. Yeah. Never thought, think about that, eh? When you watch a movie that, because you have to do scene after scene after scene. Yeah. Multiple times. And different angles and shit. So you're sitting there sobbing and crying and then you have to like do it again and again and again. Yeah. So these two go through a lot of pain in a lot of their videos. Do you think they take that home with them and they need to take time to calm down? I don't know. I'd like to know, do you feel like you have to, you know, do you need to give each other a hard graft? It's like, hey mate, it's okay. It's more just relief. It's like, fuck yes, I'm not like permanently damaged. Yeah. What about those tattoos though? Oh yeah, they're there for good, but at least like that doesn't hurt now. Okay, that's good. Did it at the time? Yeah, sometimes it's just sort of like fuck, okay, I got away with that. It's a mental battle moral, you know, when you know you're about to do something real painful. And when you get away with it, it's sort of like, I looked this up too. You can get high off it. It's like releases in dolphins. Yeah. Pain can be like a high. Okay. Like sometimes you do a stunt and you're like, holy shit. I guess it's the adrenaline. Would you get that from being on stage? Oh yeah. It's like, I would say it's better than any drug, right? Like you just that feeling. It's so good. Yeah. Well, we did it. We're not really like live performers, but we did our podcast finale. Yeah. Live last year at the end of last year. Awesome. Pretty fucking sick apart from that. It was super nervous and just really scared the whole time. Do you get the pre-show shit? No. Like you have to do a pre-show poo? No. I don't think that we did. We just had a few cheeky beers. Yeah. We had a fair few to be honest. And then that's kind of just calmed us down the whole time. That's good. Yeah. I've tried drinking before the show and it's not okay. I drink in the show. I guess you've got to remember your lines. It's difficult. Yeah. Oh no. I guess I had to come out backwards. I had to run backwards on the stage when they said my name. So that was the only nervous bit for me. Wait, what? I had to bound backwards onto the stage and it just, so I came out backwards. It's just an ongoing thing. Yeah. That I run backwards. And yeah, that was the only nervous bit because I thought I was going to fall. Then I go back and watch that. Yeah. That's very entertaining. You did it all right too. Very good at running backwards, man. It's one of his finest skills. Downs backwards. Okay. We'll note that down. Yeah. So what's it like, you saw your mic being together for a while now, right? Seven and a bit. Holy fuck. Seven years now. I know. Yeah. We were like, yeah. Are you guys married? Yeah, four years. Holy shit. We got married in 2019 because we were going to Greece to get married in 2020. Yeah. And then COVID fucked us all over. And also Mike, his dad was really unwell. So he wanted to do like a little ceremony where we signed our papers before his dad passed away. So it was actually really special that we got to, you know, we did a little, like, ceremony in our kitchen at home with his dad and stuff. And yeah, we did that before he passed away. So that was nice. Yeah. Wow. Yeah. Seven years with Mike Goldman. What's that like with married to Mike? Yeah. Is he good in bed? That's all we want to know. Is picturing him hammering away? Yeah. He's pretty good. Yeah, that's good. For an old fucker. Yeah, no, he's great. He's really good in bed. Does he speak in his voice? Yeah, do you ever get him to the aim I always thought was worse? No, he makes me do accents. He's like, can you do an accent for me, babe? Okay, I'm sure. That's good. Get you there. Oh, no. He's a beautiful man. He is honestly like my number one fan last night after the show. He said, he's like, you made me cry, babe. I was like, really? I'm just, I've never been so proud of someone. And I really feel that from him. And he was like, I was thinking of my dad whilst you were up there and how proud he would be as well. But he is just so supportive of everything I do. And I grew up with amazing, like with the parents that were so supportive of what I do as well, but didn't fully understand this industry. And because he's lived this industry, grew up obviously with his dad being in the entertainment industry. He just has my back 110%. And, you know, I owe a lot of what I've done to him as well. I don't think, you know, I won the green card lottery. So I lived in the States for a while and he was like, go, you have to do it. You've got to get that out of your system. So you come back and live with me. No, but, um, yeah, he's just, yeah, he's so supportive. So having that is amazing. Yeah, that's really nice. Having supportive partners. Matt, isn't it? Oh, that's been single for a long, long time. I've been single for a long time. Yeah. But before that relationship, it was quite a while as well. I was only a year. You can look at me. It's a girl, Matt. There's a girl next to you. It was no. I've just recently separated. I've been single for a long time. I've been single for a long time. It was no. I had, I've just recently separated at the start of this year. Um, and then before that, it was like a year break. That's really abusive. You need to find a good Greek girl. What advice would you give to, to, to Matt? Cause he's, he's kind of, you're cleaning up a bit on Tinder now since we've taken over. Do you have any photos with this week on? No. Oh, no. So I don't want to go, oh, that, I thought you had hair. So Bianca recently, we've, we've, I've literally set up a Tinder account for Matt and we've taken over his Tinder account. And we're sort of funneling all the girls that we get to him. Snaps. Helping him out. They're not helping me at all. And we've gotten everything he want. Like a sex. We've gotten, we've gotten him. Sex. Well, he hasn't done that yet. Is that number one on the list? No, no, I want to, no, I want to fall in love. These girls have wanted to go on dates. They wanted to have sex. They've wanted to like just meet up. Yeah. And he's denied every single one that we've channeled to him. Why? I'm just not interested in them. He's very picky. I'm not very, I'm not overly picky. It just, just whatever you guys do. He knows what he wants. He knows what he wants. I think I know what I want. So what, would you, do you have any advice for, for the Brown? Would you reckon any Greek chicks would be into him? I mean, it's a little bit hairy. Is that good or bad? Is it because, I mean, Greek blokes are quite hairy aren't they? Maybe Greek blokes. So I don't know. Manscaped. Manscaped? Yes. Is that a brand of yours? Yeah. They sponsor the podcast. Okay. Great. Manscaped. I've got Mike. Some of those. Oh, they none. See, it works. Any advice? I don't know. I think definitely get some shots in the wig for sure. Shots in the wig. Oh, some photos in the wig. Yeah. Some photos in the wig. So I look fun. Yeah. So you look fun. Yeah. The wig and the slippers. Then we'll blur everything else. But I think you have to say yes, my friend. You can't keep saying no. I agree. Here's my, and you know, and people get angry at me in the comments because I'm like, I'm not appreciative of what the boys are doing. But yeah, I'm just, I don't know. I don't think they have an idea what I'm looking for. And they just go for anything. It's a numbers game. It's a numbers game. Have you told them what you're, what you're looking for? Yeah. I've got a rough idea what you want. They know. He knows. If it's breathing. He want. I mean, Mike found me when he was 44. So, you know, maybe you're, you haven't just found your match yet. Exactly. Because he's going to be 20 years younger than you. Yeah, that's true. Yeah. She's probably not even born yet. Because you stress out. Or she was born recently. Oh God. It's so disgusting when you say it like that. Your future wife's a baby right now. Just you wait. No, she's not a baby. She's like 10. Imagine seeing a 10 year old male. That's my wife one day. Anyway, let's move on. Have you ever been arrested? No. Never. I'm a good girl. What was the most trouble you were ever in? Legally. No, this is fucked up, you know, because honestly, my dad started his wedding speech with like, Bianca is a good girl. I was school captain in primary school, school captain in high school. Oh wow. Like they would do signatures in the back of your diary. Like good girl. Normally it goes from primary school, school captain to drug addict. Yeah. I don't know what happened. You stayed, you went straight and stayed as the school captain for high school. Yeah. Wow. See, I was primary school. Were you? Yeah, then high school was just a ride off. Okay. Yeah, like to go back to back. But correctly now, so. Yeah, yeah, I guess. Yeah, back to back. That's like, you must have been really goody-goody. Yeah. But then I married Mike, so that's probably. Oh, where did you guys meet? In acting class. Oh, does Mike do acting classes too, do they? He does. Oh wow. Yeah, he does. He's actually a really, he's booked more roles than me. Oh really? Yes. He's really talented. He's a popular guy. He is. So yeah, I haven't been arrested. Have any of you been arrested? Yeah, we've been arrested a few times. Matt hasn't been arrested yet. I got arrested in high school, but not in my adult years. What? You got arrested in high school? Yeah. You've never told us this? Underage drinking and I tried to run and they got me. And then I told, I think I swore at them. And they're like, all right, we're going to take you. I love to see the footage of that. But the best part was I didn't go to my parents, went to my mate's parents and they took the hit for me. That's good. And what they arrested you. Yeah, well, well, my mate I was with is quite aggressive towards them and I was sort of in between all that. Hey, just it's all right. You know, I think I threw, because it started off with getting the police attention. I threw a bottle at a police car. Wow. And it was very, very bad. It was a bunch of police cars parked and I thought the police weren't looking and to impress the people that was there. I threw it high in the air. And I regretted it instantly. You hit a female cop. And then like an hour, this was like an hour earlier and then an hour later they saw me and they knew it was me. Anyway, enough about me. Wow. You're such a bad boy. Gold Coast. Palm Beach Gold Coast bad boy. Oh man. All right. Well, let's let's move this along. So we're going to, we're going to do, we're going to play a couple of little cheeky little games. I love games. Should we, because it's going down the Greek path, should we switch from Bianca to Katrina? Yeah, I was just about to say. Yeah, we can. So we'll have a cheeky little break. Bianca will go, Katrina will come back. We've hid the plates. So. I did a plate smashing competition at Punyiri on the weekend. Did you do that at the wedding? Did you smash any plates? It's like a legal industry. You have to pay all of this extra money. Oh, really? But we did do plates smashing on our honeymoon. I wonder how they've had that started. How is that illegal? They're just like. They're fucking plates. I know. I don't know because things fly up and get people in there. You have to get a permit for it. Yeah. The safety goggles on everyone. Oh, so fucking good. How good would it be to throw the wedding and everyone gets safety goggles? It's so good. I love that. All right, well, we'll switch over to Katrina and then we'll get some games underway for competitions. We'll be right back, everybody. Hippie Potter. All right. Hippie Potter. Hippie Potter. And we're back and we're here with Katrina. Oh, my God. Thank you, guys. You're so beautiful. All of you. This is amazing. Even me? Yeah. I'm actually quite attracted to Matt. Don't you're my husband. Okay. Oh, there you go, man. Where are you, bro? The girl next to you. She says you're hot. Hi, Matt. Hey. How are you, baby? Good. Are you feeling a bit uncomfortable? No, I'm just nervous, I think. I love your shoes, babe. Thank you. Oh, my God, you've got nice knees. Oh, baby brown. He does work on his knees at the gym. No, show the wine. Okay. Is that a Greek thing to have nice knees? No. Okay. It's just a human thing. Sorry. All right. We're going to finish with a couple of little games, all right? And you're going to be the judge of them. Okay. So first, it's a little favor. We're going to each do a Greek accent. Okay. That sounds good, yeah. And you have to judge who has the better accent. Yeah, no problem. All right. Now, Matt, we're going to vote to see who goes first. I'll just pick who I want to see first. Okay. Okay. Is that all right, babe? Yeah. I'll do my best. Now, don't, don't fuck it up because I was attracted to you, but you know, this could change everything. Do I have to say a certain line? No, you just have to listen. Have a Greek conversation. You have a Greek conversation with, with Katrina. All right. I'll help. You can start like this. Yasu. Yasu. Nope. That's not going to work. Tikanis Kala. It's real aggressive, isn't it? Yeah. Just if you speak like you really fucked off. Yasu. Concrete is late. The concrete is late. The concrete is late. Where the fuck is the concrete? I don't know. Where the fuck is the concrete? I don't know where the fucking concrete is. You know, you need to put the concrete down so I can hose it. That's pretty good, man. Wow, well done. Give him a little clap. Give him a little clap. A bit of Greek in here, mate. Well done. Oh, wow. Maybe you should consider taking that accent to work. Is fucking, is that more of a... Fucking. I can see it. I've spoken to a few... Yeah, that Nick Jean Opholas guy, right? Yeah, I've spoken to a few of Greek concreters and they say the fucking concrete's late. That's great. I love that. That's really good. Thank you. All right, that's the end of that game. I knew that was coming. How did I know that I was going to get fucked? Fucking. You didn't get fucked. You actually fucking nailed it, mate. I used to date a Greek girl when I was like 18 or 19. How old was she? She was a bit older. She was 23. Gorgeous. Yeah, loved it. Gorgeous girl. And she had this brother and he was like, I remember going to dinner for the first time and the dad was like, what are you going to do with your life? And her brother's like, do a trade mat. You've got to do a trade mat. Oh, wow. So into me about doing a trade. Oh, my God. And then fucking made me laugh so much. So then you became a concreter. So you kind of... No, I didn't become a concreter. I work in a company that supplies concrete. So you're practically a concreter. Yeah. That's exactly that. You're just telling me where to put the concrete. No, Greeks, we love concrete. Yeah, you guys love doing pillars. He lives, you know, so we don't have grass. You don't fuck the grass. It's good to smash plates on. It's perfect. Exactly. All right. Now one game that we are all going to participate in is Greek dancing is quite popular. And you do some Greek dancing in your show, don't you? So will some dancing in general not necessarily Greek? Oh, yeah. You could call it Greek dancing. Let's call it Greek dancing. Yeah. So we're all going to have a crack at doing some Greek dancing. Just like I'm talking like, you know, five, 10 seconds. Five, 10 seconds. Because like I've got no idea. Really? Yeah. This is probably going to be pretty embarrassing. Have you got some Greek music? Yeah, we'll play some through the headphones. See, it's paper. Rock. Hang on. You just did it. Oh, look at the paper. It wins. Fine. I'll go first. No, I would like to go first. Oh, wow. Oh, wow. Okay. Confidence. Because I showed him some Greek shit, he's going to use my exact routine. All right. So I will now stand up and do some Greek dancing. And then you're ready to tell us when you want the clap. Okay. Out of 10. Okay. Okay. You'd have to probably be in camera. Be here. Okay. Yeah. Great. Okay. Slow clap. Faster. Bravo. Very, very, very good. Okay. Am I voting now or like do I save it? No, save it for the end. I reckon save it. I'll go next. Sorry about that. Yeah, go. Fantastic. I don't trust you guys at all. See, this is what happens. They start laughing because they know something's going to happen. That's okay. They save the best for last. All right. Ready? Let's start clapping. This is. Fucking Russian. He starts Irish dancing. Don't tell him. It's okay. It's okay. He's trying his best. That's good. That's really nice. Fantastic. Wow. Oh my gosh. Fantastic. Beautiful. Holy shit, dude. I like to mix the cultures up. He fucking. That was Greek fusion. Greek fusion. Yes. It's like the Greeks had sex with the Irish. Yeah. Oh, it's like a like a Zeus leprechaun. Yes. I picture that. Yeah. But taller. All right. You're going to have to take your headphones off. That would have been a disaster. All right. All right. We're going to click a snap. All right. Here we go. Camera in there. Yeah. That's all right, Brown. Let's fucking see it. Tell us when you want us to clap. Okay. Very good, man. Very good. That wasn't too bad, dude. I like that spin. Shit. That's awesome. That's awesome. That's awesome. That's awesome. That's awesome. That's awesome. That's awesome. All right. That wasn't too bad, dude. I like that spin. Shit. I saw a great club once. Did you? He did this beautiful. He was dancing with his father. This guy. And he did this beautiful. Like they were like. And he just did this spin. And he goes. And you've never forgotten it. And I've never seen that before. Yeah. This is the first time. I asked somebody and they're saying, oh, it's a very traditional personal dance between the two of them. That makes sense. Yeah. Well, there you fucking go. All right, Katrina. You're ready for me to. Yeah. We're ready. Okay. Judge us. Okay. So in third place with the fusion. The fusion mix. Give it up for Michael. Everybody. It's better than last. It was nice, but it is some a bit disrespectful. Three and my people. Sorry. Sorry. Yeah. Straight. Sorry for that. Okay. Um. In set point wise. I give you like a three points. Okay. For fusion. Three. Three out of five. Three out of five. No. Three out of ten. Okay. Okay. Oh my gosh. The confusion here. You're stressing me out boys. I'm sweating. It is hot in here. I'm sorry. Yeah. I think that's just because you're sitting next to me, babe. Sorry. Now in second place. Between Marty and Matt. Good luck Matthew. With seven points. Oh. It's Matt. Yeah. Yes. Yeah, Matt. Please. Everybody give it up for Matt. I've never seen this move before. It looks like something I do in Polaris, but not Greek dancing. Sorry. No. You don't need to apologize. You gave it a go. Oh. You get the extra points for these. Seven is good dude. The costume. Or is this just what you wear? That's just what he woke up in. Okay. We have to Greek dance at a wedding in the future. That I'm sure we will. So I want to practice. Have a husband you know. No, no, no. A friend of ours. Okay. So I'm sure I'll have to practice. Good job. Now. Marty you've got some extra points from me. Oh really? Yes. Do you know why? Because I was really, really good and smooth and nailed the rhythm. No, you were doing some Greek looking moves, but your fly was undone. Oh. So I got some extra surprise, which I was grateful for. So 10 points for you, baby. Yeah. There you go. 10 points for you, baby. Yeah. Let's get the bloody cock out. All right. Thank you. That was great. Well done. Yeah. No worries. Thanks for watching that. Everyone. So what do you got coming up next? Is anything you want to promote right now? Anything you want to let everyone know about? No, just if they can follow me on the show, the socials. I have socials. The socials at The Real Wag Wife on Instagram and Tik Tok. At The Real Wag Wife. Okay. Yes. And then you'll see when I have my shows coming up. So you know, book tickets, come and see it. And James went on the weekend. You did. And he came and he really, really enjoyed it. That's fantastic. He said he really liked it. So... Would it be fucked if he didn't like it? I just wouldn't have said anything. Do you reckon if they have the real housewives of Bulimba, you'll be like a prime candidate for that? Babes. Like, it's happening. VIP 4171. Oh man, that would be great show. You know, I have a petition and everything to keep the, like for, to make Bulimba a guided community. Oh. Like Sanctuary Cove. Seriously. Yes. Only good looking people are allowed in. So you can come in, baby. You're always sad. I'll have my final. I'll play golf there no more. That'd be sad. No, that's okay. But anyway. Nothing, nothing like that. Just follow, give me some love on the socials. I love that. There you go guys. Go and check Katrina at The Real Wag Wife. Give us some on the socials. And thank you so much for coming on. We appreciate it. No, what you boys are doing is amazing. Honestly, I love it. Oh, thank you. You make me laugh. Oh, thank you. Likewise. And I think we're going to have Mike on soon too. Your husband. I don't, I don't know who he is. Oh, that's Bianca's husband. Yes. That's Bianca's husband. Yes. Who's your husband? Oh, we don't need to speak of him. Okay. You know. Okay. All right, guys, we'll be uncomfortable now. We'll be right back with some Matt versus Michael. Bung break. And we're back. And that was Bianca everybody. Matt versus Michael, it's Matt versus Michael, it's Matt versus Michael today. Matt versus Michael, it's Matt versus Michael, it's Matt versus Michael today. Oh my God. Bottle of Cums. All right. And today has to sit on the brick for the rest of them. Yeah, I'm not, I'm not going to do that. All right. Now what's the score? It's like fucking, who won last week? No, you won. Michael, Michael. 30 to two now. Michael won. It's not 30 to two. That doesn't make sense. Something close to that dude. I feel like you're. Was it the porn one? No, no, no. He had Josh and Justin. Yeah. And it was. Cause he. Oh, who's better at giving a speech. All right. So it's currently 10, four. I'm going to say to Michael 10, four. It's 10, four. All right. Now the winner of this at the end of the season gets to keep Matt's bottle of mints, which is incredibly valuable fluid. It's more valuable than gold. We probably think. Smells like shit. But more valuable than gold. Probably we think. So it's surely there's got to be a study where they put this put come in a bottle for years. I don't think that this has ever been done before. We're really where pioneers in the come area. Dude, we've done so many things that no one else has done before. Can't remember. We're going to stop referring to it as a cum bottle. Business. We threw the car away. We're not going to. We're going to mention it as a combo. Throw in that completely. I mostly say mints. So, good luck this fish. All right. So the competition for today for Madbus, Michael is who's better at accents part two. All right. For me to win this. I need water. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Oh, it's, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh. Accents. Paratoms. All right. So I will give the boys an accent and then they have to read this sentence both of them. It's not the accent, it's the sentences that make it hard. Well, you can choose words that otherwise you'd be able to choose words like a one sentence. Yeah, words that are easy. Yeah, yeah. I get it. I've accepted it. Here we go. The first accent is Chinese, China, Chinese, China. Okay, you both must try and speak with an accent of a Chinese and you must read this highlighted sentence. Scissors, rock, scissors, rock, scissors, paper, rock, scissors, paper, rock, scissors, paper, rock, scissors, paper, rock. Would you like to read first or second? He goes first. All right. Are they the same sentences we have for you? Yeah, it's the highlighted sentence will be the same sentence the whole time. We'll be kidding. All right, Matt. We're the Chinese accent. Here we go. Crippled people make me nervous because my mother sucked the skin off my feet. Holy shit. Chinese. He's like fucking not Chinese. I don't know. What? You know, there was maybe a little bit. Fuck man. Really? Very aggressive, angry Chinese person. I thought that was quite Chinese. Crippled people make me nervous because my mother sucked the skin off my feet. He's read that normally. Oh, it felt like it was the right energy. All right. One nil to Matt. Are you losing on purpose? Hey. All right. Next accent is New Zealand. This is all to make me look like a fucking racist. It's horrible. You make him paranoid from your reading it there. No, this is not. I swear Matt, if we would do that. Fucking hell. If you go down, we all go down. You know, after the, you made me do the Greek one on my own. Oh, no. It seems like that. Conflation of Matt Brown the racist. This is going to get demonetised. Kind of make sure we bleep and fix it up to make us look like we're not fucking laughing. Stop saying racist. Matt, I promise you I would never do that to you. Give me the sentence. New Zealand is the next accent. Here we go. That's the same sentence. It'll be the same sentence every time. Crippled people make me nervous because my mother sucked the skin off my feet. That was pretty fucking good. She helped me change her voice. But that was actually really good. She's just normally talk like that now. Going to work on Monday talking like that. Matt Brown is here. I would love you to be like that forever. It suits the outfit. Oh, no. Here we go. Crippled people make me nervous because my mother sucked the skin off my feet. You're losing on purpose. That was American. Surely you're... My wires are all crossed. Are you just handicapping me? I don't want your sympathy win. I am pretty confident. I'm up like 10. I'm on double digits. You're being such a rabbit right now. You're four. I can let you get to five and I'm still double you. But we all know what happens in that story. You're being the tallest. It's supposed to be you. It's supposed to be you as the tallest. Alright, last accent is... I can't. French, France. French, France. Paris. Okay, here we go. I was going to think about... Crippled people... Crippled people make me nervous because my mother sucked in the feet of... I'm sorry, I tried. France is not my strong point. French, I'm sorry. What the fuck? That was... Crippled people. Yeah, I was all gone for that. And it just fell apart. I wouldn't be surprised if he just nails French. Crippled people. Makes me nervous because my mother sucked in the feet of... Accidents are broken in my brain at the moment. That's hard to do. French is hard because I can think of it. I can hear it in my head. Crippled people make me nervous. Crippled people make me nervous. Oh, very good. Crippled people make me nervous. Is there no more? That's it, three. Well, I'd lost anyway if I did that. Yeah, that's true. But you hadn't realised that yet. Yeah, true. All right, that is the end of Matt first Michael. It is 10-5, Matt. This is your chance. This is your fucking chance. You're a third of the way through. You've got to claw your way back like a wife out of a domestic relationship. Claw your way out. All right, let's move on. All right, guys, it's time for Matt's Tinder adventures. Oh, my God, push the fucking button and shit. Yeah. Push the fucking button. T-I-N-D-O, we have Matt's Tinder. Ha ha ha. Matthew Brown has lost control. Now these women will lose their soul. All right. Okay, so I'm just going to get straight into it. Look, there wasn't much again, guys. It's been a busy few weekends for me, so I haven't really been Tindering that hard. I dedicated maybe two hours this week. So not much. So I'm sorry that some of the conversations aren't as evolved as they should be, but I think I've got some good setups for this week coming. That's fair. My apologies for... Yeah, whatever. The only person you should apologize to is me. Yeah, yeah, sorry Matt. Because you are destroying my future. I'm 36. No, I didn't put in enough hours. And I have no prospects ahead of me. Yeah, and how do you think I feel? How do you think I feel? The only prospect I had disappeared and now I've got nothing but this. This is the only... Hey, this is the best. Remember? Bro, look at us, bro. We are the best cunts. Ain't no one better than us, baby. We just got to stick the course, baby. I swear to God, in 10 years we won't just have 50,000 subscribers with every video demonetized. And all the comments will be all the comments will be like, oh, these guys still doing that? They're still doing that. That fucking guy's still single. What a picky cunt. He's so bald. Oh, he's fat and bald. Oh, he's got a Star Wars... I hurt himself. I can't believe that. Don't cut it. Just bleep it. Because that will definitely get us out of this. Bleep it. All right, here we go. First fucking conversation. Here we go. Here's the conversation. Matt starts this one. He goes, hey. And then she didn't reply. I said, hey, for fuck's sake. And she replies with, hi. Oh, finally you replied. I'd nearly given up on our Sarah. Something told me not to write stuff completely though. And then I had a dream last night. Then I checked my channel this morning and bang, there's your message. How have you been this week? She has not replied. Dude, I wish you had replied to that one. Just misspell the sentence. Just make no sense. Anyway, all right. So this chick's in a band. So Matt starts with, we can sing together. So to be in a band. Is that in your spare time you like to have? Sing-offs? Oh, yes, you figured it out. What sort of band are we talking? What sort of band are we talking? And then I didn't reply for a few days. Sorry for the slow replies. I've been sleeping a fair bit. I've actually got some bed sores now. I haven't had them for ages. How have you been in shit? Flap your arms around it. Head backwards and forward really fast. Did she reply? Oh, damn it. Oh, I can't wait for the reply of that. Yeah, that was a while ago. I think she's just unmatched. Flap your arms around it. Head backwards and forward really fast. Is she pretty? So Matt, this chick, her first picture is her floating in a pool. Okay, it's important because it's relevant to the message that you sent her. So Matt says, I'm the kind of guy that would bomb dive on you if you were floating in a pool like you are in your picture. Like fully tuck my knees in and just aim for the middle of you. Did she write that? Oh, I would have written back to that. It's hilarious. That would hurt. Maybe she comes from a part of the world where she doesn't know what bomb diving is. All right, this lady starts the conversation. She says, ahoy. I've been staring at your message for like four days trying to work out what ahoy means but I just can't figure it out. I'm a huge physical being and I like to be touched and reassured most of the time. Can you handle that? I'm also living in an underground wombat tunnel. I'm just being honest. I'm just being honest. Are you serious? I just said I was being honest. Sorry, what's with all the trust issues? If we're going to work, you have to trust me. I've got a few job interviews this week. Can I stay at your place? The wombat burrow is a pretty tight squeeze for me. I love wombats. Very cool animal. I'm living in a wombat hole. I look so happy in there though. Sleep all day. Play on her. She starts this message and she's actually quite attractive. I'll say that. Her name is literally S-H-H-H. So she's fake. No, I think she just doesn't want to reveal her identity. Don't you have to pay to change your name? I don't fuck on. Happy Friday. Hope you had an amazing weekend. I love your name by the way. Is it short for something? Or just one of them foreign ones? Can you understand? She didn't reply for a few days so Matt says. Can you understand? My English is fine. Just a busy professional. Oh sick. What are you all professional in? Remember Ian Thorpe? Fuck he was hectic. Teaching people the art of how to do a job. Lucky I never held my breath awaiting your response. Yeah sorry for the slow replies. I'm in the middle of something and it's stressing me out so much. Basically these guys from Southside keep coming up to North Brisbane and like doing shit in our neighbourhood and my friends want to go to Southside and retaliate. I'm trying to talk them out of it but it's not looking good. Respect is a big thing and once you disrespect us you're in real trouble. But anyway enough about me. Do you remember Ian Thorpe? She hasn't replied. Yeah fuck. You kind of wanted to make her think you're part of a gang so it's like she thinks about Ian Thorpe. Why didn't you try with her? Dude I... Man I'm fucking... This is how I roll bro. It might come round. You've literally read out the conversation that you had with Mon and it did not sound anything like that. It was all like yeah babe it's good to see you babe. I would argue that this is way better than what I did with Mon. You still got Mon. Yeah and Mon was the one saying babe and it... No it was you saying babe. You said babe. I'm okay with her saying babe. You said babe. No. Soon as she said babe you started throwing babes all over the place. Alright anyway here we go. Just wanted to say hi. Getting into anything fun today? Yeah. Light me on fire. I'm so excited. I'm clapping my hands really fast and stomping my feet. Why are you so excited? My mum came over for dinner and she cooked my favourite. Pancake with goat's cheese and string. What's your favourite? I'm doing circles with my finger around my belly. It's so ticklish. You should try it. She's in my bag with you. Fuck. Matt starts a conversation. Your smile is infection. How come? No reply from no one. Infection? Actually I don't know why. Alright so Matt starts one. Breathe life into my lungs. I know forever. Excited love for you. Sorry just working on a poem. How are you Sarah? That's so bad. That's as bad as you're saying babe. Oh fuck. I just written it recently so hopefully. Here's another one. Bash me unconscious. What's the deal with you and shit? What does that mean? I'm just like... Bash me unconscious. I'm always saying random awesome shit like that. Squelch fresh shit in your hands and talk to your friends later. Trust me it's so funny. Oh fuck Matt. I'm touched up. Oh man. She's going to like see me out. That guy told me to squelch shit in my hands. Oh man. And he told me to ask me to bash him unconscious. Oh my god. I want to get right up close to you in your personal space babe. How's your weekend and shit? How do you go what? Life in my ass off. I'm like weekend was okay. Nothing grand. How was yours? Also don't get too close. I don't date junkies anymore. Although I do miss shooting up occasionally. Should we shoot up on our first date? Bit wild but I reckon it would break the ice a bit. Laugh my ass off. Not what I was expecting. Sorry to disappoint but no junkies over here. Oh well that's good. Yeah that's good. I don't date junkies much anymore anyway. I'm working at the carnival next weekend. I can get you a free ticket if you want. Come see me. Be with me son. Lol that sounds like fun. Why not? I can't wait to see you. Fuck yeah! I'm collecting tickets at the front door and then I'll be cleaning up the elephants door once everyone is inside. You can watch the show or help me clean the elephants door. I'm a sow. Laugh my ass off. You know what? I actually thought you were joking. I'll watch you clean. I still think you're joking. No I'm being dead serious. I pick up extra hours, extra work on weekends when the carnival comes to Brisbane. Bring a camera and we can get selfies with the elephants and shit. One's called Bayon. He's loose as shit. He even drinks beer if you offer it to him. It's fucking hilarious. Okay count me in. This will be a first for me. I've actually never been to a carnival. What's the carnival called? It's called the brownery. And it's in Bridgeman Downs. Let's get this fucking elephant smash this shit and film it. That would be such a funny TikTok and shit. I dropped a coffee into a pram accidentally and someone filmed it. Fucking hectic. She didn't write back. Oh dude I hope there's a reply to that. That one was incredible. All right so Matt's sort of started losing his shit and just sort of started staying random shit that doesn't really make sense. Hang on, hang on. How you meant to funnel that one to me? Well because sometimes you don't make much sense. All right so Matt starts with Amy, singe my factors. Whatever. How's your hips? Oh! You can't say that! She replies, sorry? Are your hips loose? I found that as I've aged my hips are so tight that I can't even do my shoelaces up anymore. Factor to the edge Amy, it's free. No I'm just joking. Okay and she did that shrugging emoji. Raise me up bro come on. I'm pouring my heart out here. You got a TV? No. Rip my shoulder dangle. What do you even watch then and how? Do you sleep? You don't sleep so you wouldn't find a part of it. You wouldn't sleep. And Matt is Matt's 10 revenge is everybody. Oh man Matt you silly silly boy Matt. That's never gonna work. I reckon it's coming close. Yeah look I haven't spent much time on it. It's a time thing. The more time I put in the more it comes out. Very good. And this is a segment where we answer the questions that you guys have commented on The Mighty Mockle YouTube channel. We answer the most liked questions first and once you've commented your question have a scroll through and like the other questions that you want us to answer Matt. Top question! Went to Dean Moore. Michael. We're questions now. Will line to Locky ever make a comeback? Yeah of course. Yeah you're fucking gone. Are you back in Australia? Yeah my back's fine. Oh man that's good news. Man we made the news. We're gonna be on the 6 o'clock news tonight. Really what did you say? For a fucking video we're filming. What did you say? We were involved in a car accident. Really a real one? Yeah dude it's in the whole news crew. What? You get in the wire line and you can't... We fucking got you Locky! I was really fucking on that one. Did you believe it? Yeah. I fully forgot what I was meant to say. The burnt tree. Oh the burnt tree yeah shit. How did you forget that? Because I'm high now. How are you high? You've even forgotten that Locky's on the phone. Oh yeah Locky holy shit. So we got you again you dickhead. Yeah we're fucking easy. I was actually fully convinced on that. Holy shit we actually got him. Fuck we've still got it. There you go we lied to Locky. Of course we got him. Alright dude sorry for wasting your time. I'll see you on fucking Saturday. Fucking love you so much. So much. See you dude. There you go. That answers that question. The next question is from Steven Hunt. Will you boys be on the 6 o'clock news? Yeah. Hunt. Will you boys be doing a live podcast again this year? I really want to meet Arnold Fame and discuss his mpigs. Yeah. We will be. No venue locked in yet. We should probably get him fucking moved on that counter. Next question. I bet we won't do that till the very last minute again. What happened? Next question. Is from Matt Brown's dirty mutt. Dirty mutt I bet he meant. No mutt. If you three were all legitimately to go on Australian's got talent together. What would you perform? An exorcism. No I reckon what we do is. I would exercise myself. Have you seen the movie dirty dancing? Yeah so you could do the dirty dancing dance at the end? We'd do that. That's so true. That one? Yeah that's exactly what we would do. Come to think of it. What is fucking spot on? I'll probably do a live have on stage and crack my neck back as I do it. That's terrifying. That's my talent. Peter Hunt said what is a shock hidden talent that you boys have? Besides Matt's having abilities. Oh my god what the fuck? What the fuck? I can flip my hat onto my head. Anyway Marty what talent do you have? Fuck I don't know. I don't think that maybe the hand thing? That's pretty cool. Yeah that is pretty good. Look at that everybody. You've got to do it for the camera Michael. Right now I know. Fucking hell he pulled it off. He pulled it off. That's unbelievable. Fucking there you go. That's his talent. My hidden talent besides having is... Shit! I have a dirty, dirty secret and talent of playing with saliva. That's his talent. How have you both broken these off? It doesn't make sense. They're not shit. If you want to get your wireless ones we have to upgrade the soundboard. They don't even fit me. Michael you need to take this podcast seriously or it's not going to work. If you start playing around like that it's not going to work. Next question. I understand you're under the influence of drugs right now. Next question. Next question. Next question is from Bryce Carter. Would you let a fan be a special guest on the podcast? Yeah. We're kind of going to have a little phone interview with Prattie who got the tattoo. So that's kind of like having a fan guest on the podcast. Yeah but like in person? I suppose we would. It could be pretty funny. We just talk about us the whole time. Also what do you like about us? I think they'd have to be doing... They'd have to have done something. We could just do a really like super self-indulgent segment where we just like go through our analytics and like talk about how awesome and shit we are and how well we're doing. My favourite video is the second favourite. And when they laugh the most at us? The third. What our best three qualities are? The fourth. Next question. Is from like McBurgin. What was the worst rejection you've ever had from the old days from a chick or a guy when you're out trying to pick up? Good question. I know I've had some shockers. Yeah I'm trying to think. Yeah you know. I was thrown off a bridge. That was your rejection? She tried to kill him when he came on to us. Dude, imagine me. I just imagined Luke stomping my feet. I was just out playing bridge. She's horrific. I have that burned into my retina ray that he's like, Michael's hanging from a fucking 20 metre or 10 metre bridge. And he changed his mind and he wanted to claw his way back up. There was no way he was going to be able to climb back up. So Luke just had stomping his finger in the house as he's hanging on my glass to let go into the Brisbane River. That's terrifying. You've gone into the Brisbane River a few times. In the middle of it too. The worst place to go is in the Brisbane River. That hammered drunken shit. Can't see what's in there. Full of bull sharks too. So scary. I don't know. I haven't had, I can't recall too many worst rejections, but I did walk up to a girl really hammered once and tried to, I was like, hey, what's your name? What's your name? And she's sitting down with kind of half side onto me. And she's like turned around and she's on her mobile. She says, I'm on the phone. Oh man, that's rough. And I just walked away. What's your name? What's your name? It was like four in the morning too. It was very embarrassing. I remember my friend Simon was behind me. He was like, laughing at me. And then she kind of giggled at Simon laughing at me. She didn't have her hands out her head or her head. She was like, she was just like this facing the direction. I walked up hammered and like, I think someone sort of said, oh, go talk to her or something like that. And I just tried to be a hero. Was she pretty? I think so. You wanted to fuck her? You want to fuck her that night, hey? I don't know how to be your fucked-all. Next question is from Avi. Which of your friends or, you know, group workers do you like to prank besides each other? Like, so... Michael is my far, my favorite. Yeah, but besides Michael. James is around us a lot, but it's like, it's just not as funny with James because like, he's just like, I feel bad immediately. Why do you feel bad? I don't know. You fucking do the worst shit to me. Yeah, but like, you see, I don't know. How about you feel a bit of bad for me? The alarm clocks was good. No, it was not good. He's just sort of like cool that, like, I've never seen a hundred alarm clocks do that. Yeah, it was visually very, very entertaining. But my favorite would, yeah, be Matt for sure. And Julien, Julien gets quite worked up very quickly. Very aggressive. Yeah, but yeah, definitely Matt, I would say. Oh, that's not good. I can't explain it. One's funny, one's not. I can't explain it. This is a poster for drug addicts. Glorifying them. Look at us drug addicts and how well we've done. Next question is from Fuggin Dog. Whose car got destroyed at the bachelor party? Also, is there any other crazy stories from it? Well, I was trying to think. Put the golf club through first. That's what started it. That's right. So it looked through a golf club and it shattered one of Marker's windscreens. And then once that's happened, like, I don't know, again, it's just something you can't explain. The respect levels when you see that is just like, the respect for that car is gone now. And then I believe Henry threw a rock on the hood. And then soon as that happened, like the normal people, just started abusing the car. Henry did it in front of a large group of people to show them that it was OK. Like, like, like, Mon's dad and his best mates were there? Of course, he did. That got everyone throwing bottles and shit. Like, people who were normal. He inspired me because I was just launching rocks into it by the end. All the normal people who wouldn't destroy it, they just started throwing their empty bottles and rocks and anything I could find out. There's something amazing about a bottle going through a window. And I really like it, too. It's better than a rock. Because it's like, it's hard to, it's glass breaking glass. Very cool. Oh, my God. I just had a fucking sickening thought. Remember when we were camping with Charmin and the boys and I threw that wine bottle through the back window? Yeah. Imagine if I was, my aim was off and I came through the front. Dude, that was fucking flying. I hammered that. I would have been cut up for sure. Oh, man, I would have been rough. Anyway. Sorry. Next one is from... No, wait. Are there any more buck stories that we're forgetting? Well, we told one, we told the cum bottle opening when they had a whole room of people, which is pretty funny. But that was on the last podcast, which just comes out today. So... Yeah, fuck. Yes, that hasn't come out yet, but... Yeah, I think we covered most shit. I'm sure we're forgetting he's, but fuck it, can't fucking suck me off, can't. Yeah, it's just a beautiful time. Yeah, it was a lot of, a lot of laugh, say. It's fucking good shit. Oh! It's funny seeing Greg's reaction. The, another good story was we ordered pizza. Oh, yeah. And she showed, do you want to tell it? Yeah, yeah. So Luke ordered like fucking, I don't know, 40 pieces or something. Then the pizza delivery girl, there's a girl. There's a girl, yeah. Came and Henry was on the roof of the brand. She was really nice. She was a lovely girl. And Henry just starts fucking screaming at her. So what happened was James yells out, Henry, say goodbye to her. Say goodbye to her. And she just started screaming, fuck off. Just repeatedly, fuck off. Paul Ryan had to go out and like collect the pizzas and just with that screaming, as he's interacting with her. That's so rude. I think it was, I think it was a little pizza girl, Lauren, who got lost last time that I met. Oh, there you go. She won't be, yeah. She's cool. We're sorry, Lauren. Yeah, she's cool. Yeah, she's fine. It's fucking, everyone was having a good old belly laugh at Henry abusing the child. Oh, no. This is a comment. This is a comment, but I thought it was quite funny that you guys might get a give from Dylan B. Imagine working at the concrete tower and you see your abusive boss, Matt Brown, on the internet dressed like a pirate, hanging from a ceiling in a nappy. Yeah, that would be very good visual. So yeah, it made me think like, what do... It could be worse. Yeah. You could be, you could have that chair at your other job. Yeah, that'd be fun. Yeah, I guess like reward and sacrifice. There you got Brick. There you got it. Where is the Brick, dude? It's behind him. Glickhand. Next one's from It's Daniel. How did you guys meet Julian? Have we ever told that story? I think so, but we'll explain it again if we've got a few likes. Julian was Jackson's filmer and then we met him and then Jackson went overseas or something and then we, a couple, it was like a year or so later when Con had to move on back to cracker milk. We fucking hit him up. Julian lived in Church Road with me. They actually had sex. They had the back room. Michael would call Julian at 4am. No texting, was it? Yeah, I'd message him, that's right. Like I was telling him that you miss him or something? Yeah. Like 4am. Act like you've been like awake that whole time. That's why he's just said alarms to wake up. That's fucking crazy. Wake yourself up to send him texts. Oh, that was fun. Go on, Matt. Next question is from Nathan Dewey. Did anyone ever throw a human shit at Judge Judy's back? Did you guys know? Yeah, no, it never happened. It never happened. And like, yeah, fucking, she's retired. I think she's awesome. I really like her. I think she's like 80 years old. She's like I like her too, but it still would have been pretty funny to see her facial reaction if someone threw a human shit at her. If he gave her like a hundred grand after, then I'd feel okay. She still would press charges, but just see the anger in her face and her face. Imagine Judge Judy's face as she realizes this human shit on a black cloak. Well, it'd be like a shock. She'd be so like, what is this? It's my shit. You've got my shit on your back. She would get so... That'd be very funny. Oh man, we'd be very good laugh. Why did you do that? Why did you do that? Anyway, let's move on to Michael's movie reviews. And Matt's website reviews. Matt's got a movie for Michael to review. Matt's father's name is Greg and Michael would rather be dead. This is Michael's movie reviews. Oh shit, I put my notes. I didn't send my notes to you. Oh my God, dude. Did you even watch it? Yeah. He didn't watch it, did he? He didn't watch it, did he? I don't know. I did. I did watch it. I'll know if you've watched it because there's somebody in it and without a doubt, you're going to get, you're in it already. What does he mean? Raskas Menno. It was worth a shot. Raskas Menno is the name that they always talk. He shouldn't have shot him. He was tied up. No, no, no. What movie is it? You know L.A. Noor? Yeah. Video game? Yeah. That's what he showed me. That's what it's based on. That's what L.A. Noor based it off. Is that movie? Very good. I enjoyed Russell Crowe. What's that name? You just said that name. Now I'm trying to think what the actual name is. L.A. Noor. Rollo Tomasi. Yes. What's the name you're thinking of? That's it. What the fuck is going on? What movie is it? It's like, okay, imagine a detective film mixed with like, what film is it? L.A. Confidential. It's called L.A. Confidential. Okay. It's sort of like wannabe artsy. It was okay. Russell Crowe was good. And what's the bad guy's name? Kevin Spacey was okay. He wasn't the bad guy, but he was in it. And then the sergeant, the guy from Longus Yard, who is very good. I thought you would have said babe. The warden from Longus Yard. Did you do the scene where he kills Kevin Spacey? Did that catch you off guard? Yeah. Well, it was abrupt. Yeah. Cool off guard. When he went in and like set up the shootings like that dude when he walked in and shot like that chick that was tied up. So you sound like you kind of liked it. It was... It was like... It sounds like you watched it in fucking clips. To be honest with you, I didn't watch a fucking thing, dude. How did you know about it? 50 million. I had to study up. I just... I don't believe in that movie. I reckon. You've got to watch it. I know it's shit. So why would I watch it? Hang on, hang on. Can you give me another one? You've got to watch them. Otherwise this thing doesn't make sense. That's twice now. You've disappointed everyone by not watching a fucking film that I've given you and I'm sitting here watching you shit on your hands and stuff and going, look at it, look at it. On my back, shoot it. Do you know what I mean? And you don't... That's so disrespectful to the entire podcast. I'll watch it this week but I'll watch another film on top of it because I know it will be shit. He wants another movie as well as LA Confidential. If you could just... Okay, you're allowed to have that on but on the same screen I can have like... No. Ping pong rallies going on. No, no, no. You've got to watch it and understand it. You've got to watch it with no distractions so you can fully grasp it. Okay. That's so disappointing. You've had two weeks to watch it and you haven't watched it. I know the fact that... It's like saying something's not shit when you know it's shit. You didn't watch it so how could you even say it? I just know. I know it's going to be shit. Fucking disappointing. Just, I saw like 30 seconds of it today and I was like, no. There's any DeVito's in it. It doesn't matter. Oh, wow. You liked any DeVito. And you liked any DeVito. But like... I wouldn't enjoy it. It's like a lot of good actors and it sounds like maybe... Oh dude, it's great. Oh, I watch it. Sorry. This is such a waste of time. I'm sorry. I've got so many backed up movies I want to get out and now we've lost two weeks. That's two movie reviews. As I said, add a movie on to this one. They don't get two movie reviews. You've stolen that from them. He'll watch two. He'll watch two. I'll catch this up. You're going to watch two movies for me. Back to back, brother. You have to swear on Amber that you're going to watch two. I can't. Yep. Fucking hell. Put it there, mate. I should choose something really long so I can watch two long movies. Swear on Amber you're going to watch two movies and the people get two movie reviews. He didn't say it. Doesn't matter. He's crossing his fingers like that. It's an honor. All right. So you have to watch L.A. Confidential and I reckon what make me watch it twice. Nope. We're getting two movies. You just shook on it. So Candice, I'm sorry if I butcher your last name. Mahe. Mahe. Mahe. Mahe. Candice suggests his point break which I'm glad she suggests because that is a very fun movie that I love and it's from, I think it's from the 90s. Fucking hell, mate. What's it called? Point break. Point break. Point break. Fuck. Is that like a beach movie? Sort of. Really? Man, I guarantee it will be shit. So L.A. Confidential plus point break which has Patrick Swayze and Keanu Reeves surfing and car and robberies is going to be a fucking good time. Wait, is it a surfing film? Yeah, surfing and bank robberies. Oh no, dude. That is action. I don't like that. The lead singer, the red hot chili peppers is in it. You're going to have a good time. We'll see. Alright, he's not in it a lot but he's in it. Alright, Matt. So we had you watch. You better watch those fucking movies. Otherwise you're going to rob them of a third time of a movie review. We had Matt. And it is the most beloved, sorry to cut you off. It is the most beloved part of this podcast is these movie reviews and you've stolen that from him for two weeks. It's fucking disgusting. You're meant to be a professional. L.A. Confidential and blue crush. I'll watch them both back to back. Blue crush. It is point break and you better watch it and make sure you don't watch the new one. Watch the old one, the Keanu Reeves. The same film, blue crush and break point are the same film to me. I promise you. Oh, anyway. Alright, so we had Matt watch the Timmy and Calvin series. The Timmy and Calvin series, which is a sketch comedy series about a bully and a victim. He watched all three, but he did not watch the latest installment where James was the teacher. All of these videos are on our website. Let me actually say I didn't watch it. All of these videos are on our website. So you can see them there. What's wrong? Here we go. I'm upset that you haven't watched that film. Dude, breaking point, shit. I promise you. Alright, here we go. Let's move on. I'm not angry. I'm just disappointed. I'll watch them both this week to make up for it, but I promise you I will not like it. Alright, Matt. So what did you think of the Timmy and Calvin series? Our first ever installment was like when we first started making website videos and then the latest installment was like last year or something. Oh, really? Well, maybe I should have watched the fourth one. Yeah, I think so. Because, um, yeah. Well, let's just see what I've got here. Um, so Timmy and Calvin part one. It's a bullying video. Yeah. It's a race of whalers. For bullying. Ruining this podcast. It's just waiting for people to ask him questions. We're not doing questions. We're doing your website review. Move on with it. Hey, hurry up. No, no, what? No. Come on, man. You need to be better. You need me more professional. I'll put it up halfway. I don't care about the chair. I care about you. This is kind of his park, bro. Yeah, I'm sorry. Look, this is the pressure off my back. God, I was having a very good podcast and you've ruined it. We need to move on. Let's just move on then. No, no. I'll hear it. I'll listen to it. I'll go with it. Your outfits were cute. Thank you, man. What about part two and three? Considering the budget and the set ups for the time. I thought that was very well done. I don't even know what we're wearing. Little school uniforms. Very cute. But I didn't like the messy living room for the school yard or school class. That pissed me off. It makes some fucking pride. Was the house messy? It was just in your shit living room. Is this a living room? Shit living room, not just a living room. It's a shit living room. There's shit everywhere. Polled in the corner. It's like you just pushed it to the side so you could have a filming space. What was it? Like the furniture? Oh, yeah. And then there's all shit on it. And pepper in a place. That place is a fucking mess. We had destroyed that toilet. And then the first cleaners came in. The first bond cleaners. And they just turned around and walked out. They didn't even bother starting. Really? You don't remember that? Or vaguely. I do remember that. That's right. I remember it. I'm just like, no, I'm not doing this. See you later. It would have been so disrespectful to see that toilet. Because you can tell whoever's doing it's doing it on purpose. Spraying the bowl without leaving it. Which was in the video too. There's no way you could leave that. Which was in the video. You might not notice it. That was part of the video. Really? Anyway, I'll get to it. Well, I forgot that. Marty's bullying is very good. Very, very good. Whether you are acting that or you, you know, you practiced it or you were a bully at school. I don't know where you pulled that from. That was a dark bully. I really enjoyed it. That's like, it's good acting. Shut up. Sorry. Marty, you did very well. Thank you, man. Michael kept going between an American accent and an Aussie accent during it. And that was highly annoying. And it wasn't even for ages. It was just a couple of times where you went to an American accent. That's that character. That's what he does. But it does sometimes. Stupid. But then in parts two and three, you don't do it. Yeah. He lost that like tick. Yeah. It's just a nervous thing he had in high school. That's definitely going to go against you guys in this video. Did you like the ending of part one up? The ending of part one. The variant you see the shooter walk past at the back of it. You just notice that. Yes. We like, wow, that's witty. I enjoyed the bin, the bin bully part. Like with the, where he puts him in the bin. Remember that. So like as a bully, he puts you in the bin to like prank you. Which bin? Just a wheelie bin. But the best part was that I knew because of your budget and how you filmed at that time, that there's no way you clean that bin. You just chucked him straight in. So it must have smelled like shit. Connor filmed that one. Yeah. Which leads to the next part. Oh, well, I pardon you. I just love how you guys kept actually bullying Connor throughout the video. You just, you'd break, is it the fourth wall? You just break the fourth wall every time and be like, fucking hell Connor. Just straight because of where he was standing. That was fucking funny. Oh man. It was a good time. Also I enjoyed how Marty would be like a bit bipolar and bounce between like being super cruel but then telling me loves you during the bullying. Develop this weird love for his victim. Michael, you struggled in this video but you took that wedgie really well. That was probably your best performance. This one or two. This is all of them. Out of all the performances of three, you taking the wedgie was probably the best. Oh, wow. It just looked fucked. I don't remember which one it was. Part one. Okay. And yeah, I enjoyed the bullying Connor. Also, I wanted to ask a question, Michael. How did you feel about taking the deodorant can to the skin considering your theories of deodorant cans? Yeah, it's scary. Yeah. But you used to it like, I think I did it once as a kid. Well, we didn't care as much back then because we didn't have much to lose. The toilet scene with the piss and the shit was fucked. It was so disgusting. What was that? There's a shit covered toilet. Like look like recent. Marty pisses in the toilet and then he dunks your head into it. Do you remember that? Very good. Swirling and then flushes. Yeah. Oh, actually, I remember Connor looking up. Just being like, what the fuck was that? Very good to remember that. Yeah. I don't know. That's maybe speaks to your therapist about that. That's not. That was hard. That fucking toilet was, we just come up with fucking. A toilet's toilet for a reason. We just painted that thing every day. Yeah, I remember. Because I come to podcasts and I walk in to go to the toilet and I'm like, fuck. And it just ruined. Is that hard to deal with? Yeah, that's hard to deal with. You started doing it here. And then that's why I turned around and said, I'm never cleaning that toilet again. And I haven't cleaned the hallway toilet since. You guys take care of that as a group. Yeah, that's all right. I just use a toilet brush whenever there's skids. No, you don't. You can leave it for a week. I swear to God. You can leave it up to a week, I reckon. Anyway, part two. All right. So this is the prison one. It's kind of shit. Yeah. I'd say it's our weakest of the series. It is definitely the weakest. I enjoyed the location. Was that powerhouse? Yeah. I reckon. Yeah. Okay. It worked really well. I thought for the prison yard. So that I felt was good. That's that 1% of shit I'm talking about. Michael's attempt to join a gang got me a little, when he's roughing a little thing around his head. The best part of the whole part too, because it was pretty shit, like the whole thing was pretty shit. It just dragged on over shit. I liked how you looked in it though. You looked like a fucking creep after your school shooting. Like, no, you did look like a creep. That was, that was well, well acted. I played him well. Yeah. I did laugh at the soap dropping scene. Where you dropped the soap. That was like awkwardly fucked. Cause you still had your underwear, but you're just in your underwear. And then scenes looked like a weird scream. He drops the, the good part is he drops the soap and the camera flicks back and his clothes are gone. Now thinking about it, it was quite funny. So yeah, that was very good. Actually, you know what that? It's tough cause part two and three are shit. Oh, oh, oh, oh. Like hippie pot up. Yeah. Part two and three are so shit. I'll get to a part three in a sec, but part two and three are so shit, but they both have like one really good scene that saves them. And now I can't decide which one was better. The shower seems pretty good, but maybe part three wins. So part three, I love the 1% of you really thought about where you're going to film it. I loved you a little higher location. Yeah. I love that Julian says better than your normal house. Maybe laugh. Where was that by the way? Yeah, very cool. But so anyway, yeah, but part three was just so shit. Just rumble, just you walking around dressed in like a fucking Canadian and you're just walking around just babbling shit. It was boring. But the one thing that saves it is that is a love. Absolutely love as you bent down to the pig. The pig tried to bite Michael and I had a fucking outburst and laughter from that. So yeah, the pig, it got a laugh. The pig, if that pig wasn't in it, that'd be such a shit video. The pig saved it. Overall, the three films combined is just a sad film about love and bullying because it's love at the end. And then you, well, we won't say what happened because you know I could do that. I was my age restricted, but we all know what happens at the end. Yeah. So yeah, it's just sad. It's a fucking sad story. I feel like there needs to be a bit of a follow up like a funeral scene or something. We did a prequel. I know you did a prequel, but just I want to know. I can't want to know what you did after like how high you were. That's actually the fattest bong that I possibly could do. Oh yeah. I didn't realize how funny the bong scene was until, oh, that's in the fourth bit anyway. So I watched the fourth one later, but overall. Oh, that's a pretty average series of videos. And I feel bad saying that because I know a lot of people love those characters. It's fine. Everyone's got their own taste. Yeah. But still some really funny scenes. The shower scene was hilarious. The pig biting was funny. Your bullying was really on point. I really enjoyed. Was that all just, what do they call it? Were you just doing on the spot? Improv. Improv. Was that all improv? Yeah. So that's very good. I really enjoy that. But unfortunately overall, it's a four out of 10. Okay. That's fine. But all right, all right, all right everybody. Shut up and get your horses downstairs. It's time for prank calls idiots. And today we're going to call a news agency. Your time is there for us to waste. Picking up your phone was your first mistake. It's prank call time. And this is where we prank call people and waste their time and make them angry for our own amusement and everyone else's. And today I will be Darren and I'm going to be calling a news agent and saying of one the lottery. But I've lost my ticket. Yes. I've been wanting this one. Yeah. Here we go. I'm really excited. I'm excited too. I've got to find out what the latest lottery is for life. What's the latest lottery? You've got a quick pick. How often do they do it? Every night. I think every night. What's the Tuesday? What's that? The Gull்Lord always lottery. Good afternoon. Good afternoon. Yeah. Hey, guys. My name's Darren. I'll come in on weekend roll and bought a lot of ticket And I've just checked the numbers, right, lock, and I'll show you not lock. How many numbers are there? There's like one, two, three, four, six, eight numbers. I've got five of them, five or six of them, like I'm not even fucking around. Could have even been seven, but or can't form a fucking ticket. So like I was just wondering like, there must be something we can do about that. Doesn't that come up on your system or something like that, that lock? Someone's one lock, he's a money, isn't she? I can't find out if you come same day then we can do something, but if today's gone, we can't do anything. So you're telling me like, I'm missing out on lock. Probably lock 50 grand or some shit lock. You don't understand lock. That is lock, lock, changing lock. I've never even in all my 15 working years, I've never even made 50 grand. I can't do anything. No, but do you understand what I'm saying? Like I'm on my knees right now, like I'm looking up to the sun like it's fucking glaring right at me and I'm like, I'm on my knees to you right now, like you can change my life, right? I'm begging you, there must be a way, there must be a way. Look, I'm asking you from the bottom of my heart and soul. Okay, I'm saying maybe, maybe. But I can't do anything and I'm not working in a weekend. There must be something you can do darling, you and I can do it together. And I swear to God, I swear to the Southern Cross above me right now. Oh, wow, she's so rude. Yeah, hey, gun brother. I'll come in on the weekend, right? And I've bought myself a lot of tickets and I've just checked the results, right? I've just checked the numbers, I've hit six of them out of eight. Like I'm not even fucking joking, mate. I'm shaking, I'm standing here, I'm like, I'm a bit stressed out, I'm like, fuck, what do I fucking do? Then right, I've gone, looked through my bag and that, rifle threw me a wallet and that. And I can't fucking find the ticket, mate. So I'm calling and say like, what use can do, like surely use can say like on like CCTV or some shit or like, you know, it does not come up on like your system and that like when you've got a big winner, doesn't that come up on your system and that? Yeah, it does, but yeah. Was it registered? What's that mean? Was it registered, like you've got a lot of cards? No, no, no, I just come in, bought tick normal. Mate, please don't tell me that, because look, this is like $50,000 or some shit right like, that's like, I've never, like I've been working 15 years, I think in total, maybe I've made like 30 grand, right? So look, I'm literally doubling my, my life's work with this what I've done right now. Do you understand what I mean? Like, you know, we need to put our heads together, right? Cause like, think about some fuck, people would do fuck shit for 50 grand. So we's got to be willing to do some fuck shit for 50 grand. I'll split it with you, if you can help me, right? I'll give you some, I'll fucking give you some. I can't do much, you know, like, because it wasn't registered. Yeah, no, no, mate, look, look, I'm on my knees right now to you, brother. Like you, you and I are brothers, right? Okay. Yeah, I do get it, but. Yeah, so you get it. So you know we're brothers. So you, you and I are brothers, agreed? Like you wanna have the same parents. You and I have the same parents. You and I are brothers. Like we are blood brothers for life, right? And I'm saying to you, mate, I know it's hard. Okay, I know it might be scary. Like, we might have to like, like go steal, steal, receive, understand. Okay, I'll get it, mate. And on my knees, please, I'm begging. We need to find a way to get it. And I'll flick you 25K, brother. That's hectic as shit. That thing may be called a lot of it. They might be coming down, you know? Yeah, mate, they're gonna be even worse, but that's like going to like a dealer that you've, they've given you like 50 grand, right? That you don't go back to the dealer. You go to the kind who's got the fucking 50 grand on him, mate, look, if I go back to the dealer, like they could like shoot me or do all sorts of shit. I get kids, if I look at somewhere, it's like 100, if it's called a lot of it, they just won't do something. Mate, what if I come in, right? If I'll write the numbers that I know I had on a piece of paper or something and like I'll come in and hand it to you and like, because you's on your system, you must see like he's got a winner there, right? No, because it's the number we send everything, so it's doing it like I can't do anything. Yeah, but mate, remember like, remember, you were saying before, you were saying before, you know, man, bollocks. Like, is this how you treat family? Is this how you treat family? You're just gonna stumb into a straw ball. This machine is on my hand. This machine is run by that lot of it. Yeah, mate, but I'm saying to you, like, like just let me come in with piece of paper, I'm saying with the numbers on it, because I know I had it, mate. I fucking know I fucking had it. And I'll come in and I'll give it to you. I do believe you probably had it, but as I said, if you don't give me that ticket, I can't do anything. Yeah, but look, what's the difference? Like, if I bring in the ticket or if I bring in a bit of paper with fucking numbers on the fucking thing, can't you fucking do the same thing? What do you mean, can't you fucking do the same fucking? What's the fucking point of the fucking tickets? Mate, I'm like, you can't be serious, like, we need to sit down right now as a family. Yeah, mate, you know, man. Brothers, mate, you can't do this to me. You gotta be joking. I'm coming in, I'm coming in, my brother. I'm coming in, right? And you're staying at my place tonight and we're gonna work this out. All right? I'll tell our parents because we are brothers. You and I are related. Legally, we are brothers. Do you understand? If our mother dies, we both get a chunk of that wheel money, mate. I love you more than you and my brother, mate. Please, I'm begging you. I'm lying underneath the Southern Cross. I'm lying underneath the Southern Cross right now. I'm looking up at the stars and I'm coming. My body's jerking around because you're my brother. Is it in your jizzing? I'm under the Southern Cross and I'm coming. That's so good, dude. That was a pleasure. That was a pleasure. You just kept telling me I'm your brother. Legally. Anyway, that's the end of the fucking podcast. Everybody get out there and be yourself and don't let anyone get in your face. If someone gets in your face, drop bombs. Drop bombs and get out of there, cunt. We're the best, we're the best, we're the best, we're the best, we're the best, we're the best. Assault people, assault people now. No, no, no, no, no, that's age restriction. Connor, cut that. Oh, beep that. Bleep it.