 Now our topic of discussion today is friendships and boundaries because especially female friendships I feel like men are so lenient but when it comes to their friendships but when it comes to women this kind of friendships yeah we would like to know what are some of those boundaries do we set in our female relationships what are those and actually what is that boundary because I feel like there are people who really don't have boundaries I feel like for me it's beliefs and practices that I believe or not I believe in or I do not believe in yeah yeah mainly huge one for myself is respect like I said whether it's in a relationship whether it's in in my friendships or whether it's just for me myself please what I think for me boundaries are based on so many things one it can be based on family one another thing relationship another thing friendship so it varies to all of them but there are some boundaries that are just general especially for me ah behaviors like behaviors in the house behaviors on how you handle your phone like for me I don't really and unless you're in hospital dying I don't get why you should come in before 10 a.m for me the boundary that I feel like a set is consideration everyone needs to be considerate in my space and even my female friends I feel like if you're my female friends you're quite considerate and I am considerate to them because I understand that sometimes you could be going through things because I also go through things so I really don't expect you to be there for me every single time I feel like that is a lot of expectations you are watching friends all feelings are represented what's up guys and welcome back to friends all right guys this is a friend's vibe and we are so excited to be here with you to know that your love you know from Qatar Dubai US what we're to a Texas Seattle we see you guys thank you so much for the love we really appreciate it and before we continue if you have not subscribed kindly kindly hit that subscribe button send your thank you so much for subscribing now our topic of discussion today is friendships and boundaries because especially female friendships I feel like men are so lenient but when it comes to their friendships but when it comes to women this kind of friendships yeah just the other day over 25 the ladies that are have been having a youtube channel called over 25 they split and you know probably they just ended the channel and just decided you know it's over they were hinting that it's over but then now some time back last year we had that two of them were not in good terms I mean it was rumors but you see this is a girl kind of a group a girl kind of squad we would like to know what are some of those boundaries do we set in our female relationships what are those and and actually what is a boundary because I feel like that people would really don't have boundaries what is a boundary um a boundary for me I think is things that um how do I say this behaviors or things that I hold dear to me or my beliefs or just some things and then when you decide to cross them um how what can I want to give an example like um a huge boundary of mine is uh respect so for you uh boundaries is things or beliefs that you're okay with or you're not okay with yeah and then I like for example respect if you're my friend I and if you're my friend and I'm your friend I believe there should be a there should be a huge respect between us okay let's we will get into you know what boundaries we all have what about you Liz I feel like for me it's beliefs and practices that I believe or not I believe in or I do not believe in yeah yeah so for me boundaries is something that I'm okay with and something I am not okay with so whether it's beliefs whether it's um it's things I want to do whether it's opinions it's just things I am not okay with or I am okay with I'd like to know what are some of the boundaries you feel you set up for your life or what are those boundaries for your life yourself and maybe your relationships what what boundaries have you set uh mainly huge one for myself is respect like I said whether it's in a relationship whether it's um in in my friendships or whether it's just for me myself like I I feel so bad like that's why I decided I that's why I thought for me it was a huge thing for me it was a huge boundary for me because honestly if I if I feel disrespected by anyone not just my friend or anyone it it feels so bad it hurts so bad so I've tried and respect she calls down to so many things you get for sure yeah respect is you respect me enough to tell me that um you you didn't feel correct about something I mean you didn't you did not feel um you did not feel nice I did something instead of you just starting to do weird stuff like you know if if you felt like I wronged you in a way you communicate you communicate also and then also another boundary like yeah that communication we have because now we are adults you get yeah we are we are grown up people and for us to have successful friendships I can fuck up you can fuck up you anyone can just do it see nobody's perfect you get but if you communicate if we both communicate our needs it will to be it will it will I think many problems I had like it upside down in the long run if you communicate your feelings if you communicate anything yeah yeah I think for me uh boundaries are based on so many things one it can be be based on family one another thing relationship another thing friendship so it varies to all of them but there are some boundaries that are just general especially for me ah behaviors like behaviors in the house behaviors on how you handle your phone like for me I don't really understand unless you're in hospital dying I don't get why you should call me before 10 a.m in the morning those are some of the boundaries I have and then something else calling me on a Sunday oh my god that one they really pissed me off it does on a Sunday it's my resting day I get but you don't get I feel like with friendships on a Sunday no calling me for work calling me something about work unless I am assigned to work on that day if you're calling me to ask me or to inquire something about what I I just find it very disrespectful about work yeah and on holidays as well I feel my biggest boundary is that one calls especially no one to call me no one not to call me because why should you be blowing up my phone at 1 a.m unless you're you're arrested or something has happened to you you don't call me to ask me by the way 11 in the p.m no I think someone called me yesterday at 10 p.m I was like it was a new number I'm like first of all it's Sunday second of all it's 10 p.m why are you calling me unless it's an emergency so me in my in my head I'm thinking I this one is an emergency it has because there's no way you can call me at 10 p.m on a Sunday yeah to talk business and okay anyway I understand sometimes in the line of our work we might have these calls late at night sometimes because if you're planning something the next day you might really have to to make those calls at night but if it's something that can wait for Monday I personally would not call someone for the ashara that can wait on Monday honestly because I feel like they need space and they need time but anyway back to these female um boundaries for me the boundary that I feel like a set is consideration everyone needs to be considerate in my space and even my female friends I feel like if you're my female friends you're quite considerate and I am considerate to them because I understand sometimes you could be going through things because I also go through things so I really don't expect you to be there for me every single time I feel like that is a lot of expectations and I feel like I also you also need your own time as my friend yeah then another thing my friend each friend of mine that I have unlocks has a certain key to unlocking unlocking a certain thing in my life yeah every friend that I have all friends are not the same yeah I have for sure quite a few close friends but they know different things and different aspects of my life because we relate different with this one I relate different with the other one and I actually came to realize that my friends might not get along that's a bit weird all your friends don't get that's for sure you can never bring all your friends together they will not get along they want to separate your friends yeah separate them it's actually good if you separate your your friendships like you said everyone has a different you you all have different kind of friendships yes you get there's work friendships there's literally my best friend someone I've been friends with and there's um let's say church friendships yeah you say like there are different friendships so and also don't try so hard to mix them up what is the best way to create a boundary when you get to this you know relationship or friendship what's the best way to create a boundary ah so for me I feel like you should just because for you to feel like something is being crossed your boundary is being crossed they've done it maybe several times and maybe you never communicated to them yeah so it's it's good to just sit someone down it's good to sit someone down and actually just feel like by the way um I would like us to have a serious communication about this and also in the in that same breath as you're telling her I I don't feel like this this is a boundary of mine you're crossing and I am not comfortable with it in that same breath as you're telling them don't you can also tell them to tell them some of the boundaries of their own you get so that you both get to know as you're going and also in friendships as we're growing things are changing your boundaries are also changing so you'll have to learn relearn and learn relearn but what should remain is that communication yeah you should for people to to respect your boundary I've learned like right now as I'm growing up for people to respect your boundary you have to also be firm and also respect your boundaries yourself for sure do not disrespect your boundaries and then you expect someone to respect them each one and also be firm about speak speak up speak out about and be firm so that's what I mean I understand and it's not that you get because we are adults and we've communicated but yeah communication please is there a way you feel like you know you need to communicate yes I feel mine is um the the biggest way to know about each other's boundaries is having conversations and communication like communication is everything communicate your boundaries what you like what you do not like if you feel that I've crossed your boundary let me know and I will change your sinyama and also another thing I feel like holding on to friendships is not really a good thing because some people are in your life for seasons yeah you can be forcing an issue forcing an issue if this person literally crosses all your boundaries and all the time you don't have to go sana but also they don't have to be in your life for them to have that privilege of crossing your boundaries you get so we can just be we know each other at to jaco sana till a rhombaya manini we're all growing and you're you no longer serve the purpose I want like you no longer yeah so it's it's good and also it's good to let people go because sometimes I feel like we really get mad at people for crossing our boundaries but we really didn't communicate yeah so you expect it's common sense to them it's not yeah what is your boundary is not someone else's a boundary so you need to communicate what are you okay with and what are you not okay with clearly don't get mad at someone that crossed your your boundary when you need to communicate true we need to communicate very clearly now in case you guys didn't know there is actually um quite a number of um boundaries yeah and um this I have seven boundaries here one is physical boundary because I mean like for me never touch my face I know and my hair the people for hair touching my hair don't touch my hair what other physical boundary do you have neysa uh just touching me come on unless we know each other like large yeah we don't know each other you are there touching me physical personal space physically that physical thing I need personal space yeah yeah okay I am emotional or mental boundary um let's say for example I am what is he called in my mental one of my mental boundaries is I I cannot I have social anxiety yeah and you my friend everywhere you're taking me is literally a social space social space expected to interact exactly so when I'm I'm in my corner on a scary buyer but you already know I have social anxiety so come on consider me when you're planning things can you plan at least things that are for me and you you get yeah because you have other friends why not take them to this to the to the social gathering and then you get mad when I decide I do not want to go to that concert what's a mental boundary that you've kept please I mean I feel like you as my friend you should not ask me something I regard personal unless I tell you yeah yeah yeah I mean if you're there your friend me if I'm a friend of all I think I feel like I should ask you if you guys broke up no I I feel it depends with the because I have different types of friends yeah so if you're like my work friends I don't expect you to ask me yeah like an acquaintance then I feel like my they're also different way people heal you know if they are going through a breakup of they they've lost something or they are mad you know sometimes people have boundaries on how they want to heal but you you want them to heal your way it's it's a bit different I feel like we should be a bit lenient to other people but then again communication yeah because I don't know if you want to be left alone if you're healing I don't know if you need company you need to communicate and when that person communicates please respect it but also not when you're not saying ah you leave me alone but actually they don't want to be left alone what's your problem you're another what do you mean big grown-ups I attend the spiritual and religious boundaries what do you guys have to say about that do not force me to believe what you believe thank you please if I love meditation leave me alone if I love yoga leave me alone yeah if I haven't gone to church for one year please just leave me alone because I know what I stand for I know I believe in our God that you know has created me and it doesn't necessarily mean for walls so don't force people to believe in your religion yeah not just religion but also beliefs because me and you we were brought up differently I have my own beliefs you have your own beliefs and that's why if we can't if you can't stand my beliefs I can't stand your beliefs and that's true there's no point of us because we will clash for sure if you if you're not considerate yeah then there's time boundaries as well we need to I mean how can we plan to meet and when you're coming three hours late are you serious they don't even show up they say last minute or even communicate time boundary guys let's maintain that a time boundary do not cross time boundaries in case you have something that you wish to cancel communicate in advance because as I say time is money don't waste people's time yeah then there is no negotiable boundaries by the way see you is only Ghani personally whatever boundaries you have created for yourself and let me tell you every boundary you have created for yourself is valid yeah it is like for me don't force me to drink maziwamala I will not oh you're forcing people to drink because they've said come on respect to those are two small small boundaries that people have created you don't know why I've said I'm not drinking you know or people force people to drink alcohol they don't want what is wrong with you because of that as in stop it don't force people to do things they don't want it's not negotiable and this is about it your last words um I feel like when people communicate their boundaries to you you should see that growth and actually respect it you know don't just feel like and I find out how many you get and also when someone is communicating their boundary to you it should be it should encourage you to create those boundaries for yourself and boundaries are good whether you're creating boundaries with your friends in relationship in um with your family members it's they're good they keep you safe because if you have no boundaries so you have to have boundaries as yourself with anyone in your life yeah okay please um for me um respect boundaries then you yourself respect your own boundary and communicate all right so that's about it for me set boundaries be direct be clear also be considerate of the other person's feelings kiddo go to you know don't be selfish as much as you're thinking of yourself be direct when you're creating those boundaries so that you don't say anyone crossed your boundaries when you actually did not communicate let us know down on the comment section what are some of the boundaries have you said or what did you actually learn from this panel as in you didn't even know you need to set that boundary let us know but also remember to subscribe until next time it's goodbye from us