 Hey guys welcome to another episode of recover loud talk show dedicated to help end the stigma of substance use disorder I want to start tonight's show by expressing my gratitude and appreciation For everyone that watches the show shares the show and Reaches out to tell me how it's affected their lives I'm choking up a little bit because this means so much to me This is an attempt at helping to save lives and The honest truth of it is in the end. I know if a life is saved today That is just for today This is a constant battle that we suffer and deal with and it means a lot to me to get your support and That you share this with your friends and your family So thank you for watching got a great show today our friend Ryan Page From Access Direct Recovery Network is going to talk to us about his recovery journey and what he does today To give back to the community Let's watch some pictures of Ryan's journey and then we'll get right to it Hey guys, I'm here with Ryan Page from Access Direct Recovery Network Ryan I'm so happy to have you here today. Have it be a mic, you know, we've known each other for a couple years and watching your growth and The work that you put in to help the community has been awesome Thank you, you know There's a lot of people out there in the community that inspire others and you are one that inspires me And I'm grateful to have you here. Thank you feeling mutual. It really is and I believe you you know And you know, that's something that you know in recovery. We we speak the truth, you know We definitely appreciate the people around us and the work that we're doing because we know what it's like Yeah, can you tell us a little bit about your nonprofit that you just started Access Direct Recovery Network? so yeah, so my wife and I started a nonprofit called Access Direct Recovery Network and Our mission is to connect people suffering with substance use disorder to early recovery resources Those being things like detox Residential treatment sober living You know in a real amount of time What we found is that You know through through lots of experience with this right is that there's a severe lack of Resources in me and even the ones that are here, you know when we're out there and we're doing the thing man Like we don't understand where they are And it's you know, even simple phone calls for me early on was a monumental task And if I had to call a detox and then a treatment center and I kept getting told no every place I call bombing this really small window of trying to get help and you know where I'm willing to To do something to change my life Then if I get told no in that window, I know that You know I can go back to the street again Right and that's a lot quicker than the solution that that people are offering me plus we get to a point where I'm ready to change. I tried to change. I got the door shut on me So it's just not for me. It's never gonna happen and I was there So, you know, we started the nonprofit to make sure that That nobody has to be there. There's always a solution the network grows daily We started with just local network, right having you know, the detoxes and treatment centers in Maine But then realizing that those are really small and the waiting list to get into a lot of them is three to six weeks And we don't have that kind of time so we started a network out of state with facilities that were willing to work with us and take people from Maine and You know work around a Budget and and help scholarship and that's kind of what we do is just try to connect and direct people to You know to a solution for themselves, you just got married what a month ago. Yeah, December 21st Yeah, and tell everybody what your honeymoon look like on our honeymoon we we we took some time to go up and down the eastern seaboard and And while we were there we decided to reach out to facilities that you know that we could meet with and In view facilities and try to put them in network to try to save lives back at home so it was um, you know part pleasure part business and You know, but it's necessary. You know, we were down there and and you know My wife is is also a huge supporter of of all things recovery. She's an amazing woman. It's why I married her And you know, she's super understanding and you know, we have the same kind of passion to help people and so going down there was for us and you know At the same time for others. I think that everything we do kind of revolves around how we can be of assistance and help other people So that just goes to show that the recovery lifestyle. I mean that we learn to live in You know, we have to take our recovery serious. We have to live our recovery. We have to you know practice our Rituals daily, you know because even though we're out there helping other people, you know This this stuff gets heavy. Yeah You know and the work that we put in It's for someone that's not in recovery, you know, it you know They may choose to to go out and you know have a drink or use something To get it off, you know, yeah, we don't have that option You know, I can't choose to do that So we have to we have to do you know what we have to do and we have to deal with the situation Find a way to cope with it in a way that's healthy for us, right, but we have to take care of us first I mean So what are some of the things that you do for your own recovery because I know you're doing so much for so many others How are you taking care of you? So I I'm a 12-stop guy. I Work a program. I have a sponsor. I sponsor other guys and and I still know part of what I do really is really a core part of what that 12-stop program looks like which is You know, which is helping others to find a way to recovery So, you know, when I have struggles, I have those resources that I've learned through through the program that I've worked. I You know, I always have my sponsor to bounce things off of I I practice rigorous honesty, man I think that it's important to To know, you know, your surroundings and know your situations And I know that when it's when it gets too heavy that I can I can lighten the load man And I don't have to use a substance to do that Which is really one of the gifts of my recovery, right? This is because before That was the solution like things are getting heavy. I'm stressed. I'll just pick up and If I pick up it'll get better except it always got progressively worse So that solution became less of a solution over time So today I'm able to reach out and speak to people and let people know what I'm struggling because Ultimately, that's the most important time. All right, like it's it's easy to be doing, you know, the things You know, I posted something on Facebook the other day man. It said don't let the pretty pictures fool you I almost died fighting for this life. And that's that's actually true. I mean Yeah, we actually we showed some some pictures of your journey. Yeah, and you know, we included in there graphic picture of you Can you Can you tell us what that experience was like and was that what got you into recovery? So that was what really pushed me forward into my recovery, and you know, I believe that recovery starts When you start thinking like this is enough like I've had enough. I think that's where recovery starts for us And and my path wasn't linear it bounced in all kinds of different directions and For a long time. I kind of thought I could handle things and manage them the way that I wanted to manage them ultimately was false, but you know When you look at that picture What you see there is is somebody that has been trying to do it on his own for a long time I had tried all ways available to mankind at that point Except a 12-step program and that's what worked for me not to say that's everybody's path Oh, that's what is gonna work for everybody but I had tried all the other things and and at the end of the day like I was just broken and You know my mother had taken that picture My last overdose that was my second overdose in two weeks. That was on September 7th in 2019 and I'd like to say that I know that day. I woke up in the hospital and I was like, you know what? I'm gonna be sober from here on out. That's not how that story looked you know, I I left there and and I got high again and and I struggled and and I struggled to maintain any kind of semblance of sobriety Until you know, I made a decision to to leave the situation that I was in and And really do something that was uncomfortable, which was you know leaving a relationship and my child and Going into you know in the sober living and and trying a new way of life Without that without that happening I wouldn't be here today Also without naloxone without without narkin. I'm not here today. So I'm so Big ups on the locks on yeah, and you you are somebody that Distributes naloxone. I am you carry it You know, you're involved with a lot of different organizations to help push the stuff, you know the the Advocacy of recovery you're part of the main recovery advocacy project You know recently we've all been working on the expand good Sam for main campaign. Yeah, you know It's not going as we'd hoped But honestly Just getting the information out there. We know can't potentially save a life Yes, you know people need to know that they can't call 9-1-1 We don't need to leave people alone To see what happens. Well, we don't need to push them out of our car So we don't get in trouble. We don't need to try to take them to the hospital anonymously, you know, we can call 9-1-1 and be You know, okay, and not have to worry about you know getting arrested getting charged For certain set of crimes, you know where our goal is to increase that list of crimes that it would protect people from as well as You know cover more people in the home Yeah, other than just the people that you know It only takes one person to call 9-1-1, right? But that's not to say that there's not three or four people trying to help the situation and You know as the law is today It protects the person that's on the phone. Yeah, so, you know, it makes sense to us Who have been in the situations we've seen it happen? You know to really expand that yes, you know our lawmakers need to hear that from us Because you know like I said, we've experienced we know what we're going through on the streets And I think what happened at the last session was, you know, people are more worried about people getting away with You know using substances, but I can guarantee you People who have a history of using substances Are going to use substances without a doubt and we're going to do what it takes You know, we don't choose to you know steal from our kids steal from our parents, you know It's a it becomes necessity to live the lifestyle that we're that we need to live, you know, right? So tell me a little bit about some of the other things you do, you know, there's the other organizations and How that helps you sure so I wear a couple different hats First and foremost the most important hat I wear is a personal long-term recovery I think that's you know, that's the first notable thing I can say is you know being a person of recovery is the the greatest Alignment that I have right the greatest allies of recovery community as as a whole I'm a father. I am a husband. I am a friend and Outside of all those things. I am also a board member on the chapter safe injection, which is a harm reduction organization. I am a an organizer with me and recovery advocacy project I I'm also a board member I've already be able to like to say that I'm the president of of recovery together, which is a a A Facebook recovery group that that does amazing things in the process of turning that to a non-profit 501c3 now So, you know, I get to be a part of those things. I'm also a part of the 12-step community and you know allied with recovery organizations all over and I think that's You know, that's a huge part of Why I am where I am today I think that Something that I searched for for a long time that I couldn't find and I think a lot of us have this is We search for a purpose placement somewhere we belong. It's why I felt so comfortable out there for so long Like maybe this was bad and maybe these people were doing things that weren't right but I was comfortable there and I knew my place there and I belonged and That was my people the people that were actively using drugs people who use drugs are my people They are similar to me in many ways I found my place there and I didn't think I would ever find my place and people like me anywhere else So by recovering loud by doing what we do we show that there are people like us that were there that are now here and I found my place again. It's it's very similar to my old lifestyle in a lot of ways, right? I I have a lot of connections I have a lot of people that I go to to get things I need and and and I think that leads us into the whole hope dealer part portion of kind of what where we're at right like You know, I I lived a lifestyle where I sold dope and you can define dope is whatever you want coke heroin weed whatever whatever it was I sold that I dabbled in that I did that and So as a dope dealer, I had what you were looking for on deck Right, I can get that I can get you if I don't have it. I can get it for you You know when I got into the recovery Advocacy and and connecting with people I applied the same principle. This is life knowledge It's it's life experience that I've gained and and I used it in the wrong way for a long time Right, and it made you who you are, right? I mean and you can't deny that right? No, not at all And I embrace that now. Yeah, exactly and we just redirect that right So if we direct we redirect, you know, and you know for anybody that's like me, right? My my addiction was a 24-hour job. I woke up. I had to find a substance I had to connect with people I had to figure out a scam a scheme. I had to lie had it It was exhausting. Yeah, it was exhausting to do and but I did it because you know, the end result was what I wanted You know, we turned that around and we put a portion of that drive that we put into ruining our lives into bettering our lives and we become these Goliaths of being able to get things done. I mean the resiliency and the ability to to come together and Get things done in the recovery community is bar none The best things may got going like as far as you know recovery As far as treatment goes and options and availability very low But when it comes to people in recovery showing up showing out and getting things accomplished We get that done and it's and it's a direct result of of the lifestyle that we lived up to this point So if we talk about going from a dope dealer to a hope dealer, it's a similar principle, right? People are out there looking for something, you know, I was out there looking for hope. That's what I wanted to hope I just wanted to not be sick another day I wanted hope that I can get better and and you know, and we're all hope dealers the whole the whole community of us You know you recover allowed recovery on the road Rising grind like all of us that are out here really doing some work, man We have that thing right that that one thing That people want that we wanted so badly. I just wanted to be sober for a day and and because I'm able to stay sober today for somebody that can't Cannot find that way there that's hope so we got that on deck all day if you need if you need any reminder that there is hope Look at people that are in recovery We are living walking proof that hope does exist and in that way we're all hope dealers Hmm, and you know, it's grown way beyond that right and You know and all we're doing really is sharing stories of people like you who have been through it found a way to get out of it and You're reaching back into the darkness to help people out there's a lot of good nonprofits out there helping people all the time, but Find me another segment of the population Other than people in recovery that are out there doing this as much as hard as often And and we do it because we know the only real end To substance use disorder if we don't get out of it is it's death right might not be today and You know it might not be tomorrow But it's coming. It's coming and you know, that's You know, we we lose so many people in our community And it gets heavy and me personally I just I just took two days off from work this week and I had a stomach bug But I was so drained, you know, this work I work at at blue sky counseling as a certified recovery coach And you know, we have offices in Central Maine We just opened up one in millenocket at at my urging, you know And I'm just a county boy who knows that there's no help in the county And I went to to the owner of blue sky and I said, you know, they need help up north And you know, our furthest north office was Bangor and I said, can we go further and I found somewhere in Millenocket that was looking for a program to move up and And we took that step and now we're offering a program in Millenocket in the rural areas of Maine Helping people and you know to me just having that influence in that decision I It's so heavy, you know, and that's a good thing But you know when I when I sit back and think about it, you know the lives that are being saved I Also think about the lives that were lost up to now, you know, and we do what we do We recover loud for everyone in recovery today for everyone that's still using today Yeah, and for all those who are gonna pick up for the first time tomorrow, you know, because it's gonna happen and you know We can't prevent it Yeah, but we can provide that hope for them later on and you know the work you do the work other people do it's amazing stuff And I do want to thank you for coming today Ryan. Thank you for having me. I love you brother. I love you too My favorite. Thank you so much and likewise, you know, I'm glad you took the time to come on today It's a privilege really is thank you watch recover loud on YouTube as well as on PMC's channel 5 the greater Portland area Thursday nights at 7 and it's also rerun throughout the week If you'd like to support our program In the work that we do please send us an email at recovery OTR 18 at gmail.com You know, we are looking to become a non-profit organization ourselves To help the community in in more ways This was just a way that that happened, you know, it fell into my lap Hmm and you know, I wasn't even somebody that liked being on camera But here I am stepping out of my comfort zone because I know the potential that this this program Has you know, we have goals. We'd like to get into more markets, you know, we'd like to Get out and speak to people in schools You know, actually Randy Beard is setting that up now so we can get out there talking, you know, Randy was on the show Tyler Jones was on the show and the other night. I just got a clip this morning from Tyler The other night his program purpose pups made it on to The late show, but you know, that's that's people in our recovery community getting out there making progress Helping people and it's making a difference and I love seeing it. So thank you Tyler for what you do Thank you, Randy for what you're doing all of our guests on the show up to this point. This is our eighth show So I didn't I didn't think it would go beyond, you know, the first couple And I'm just blown away by the support and the love that we're getting. So thank you again Have a good night everybody and recover loud recover loud Every time I call you pick up the phone in always reminding me that I'm not alone And even when I'm scared in my feet of frozen you help me keep it going like a semi-colon Every time I fall you just get me up Say you was down to ride through the thickest mud and you was on my side when I was slipping up And even when I met you cry used to give me love so I call shit I'd be willing to pay cuz every time I call you pick up the phone in always reminding me that I'm not alone And even when I'm scared in my feet of frozen you help me keep it going like a semi-colon So I'm a follow your steps all of the way up on my faith in you and walk on the waves And if I stumble a bit and fall on my face, you come to save me with all of your grace. Yeah So today We're gonna be shooting downtown Bitterford. That's where I'm from. It's hometown Let me shoot for the feel it project. That's a It's a public service announcement of sorts for those suffering through addiction people that we lost out it I'm hoping it becomes a big thing, you know, and people are able to to you know, memorialize people that they lost through this and That's what the attempt is, you know, try to give it back So I hope y'all enjoy the project Rest in peace I do it's coming. There's a chill in the air around here at this moment They're sick and addicted did it didn't sit opus that this nymph caused morality shift No thesis under siege everyone's killing teens no women and child every dream in between my hands are not clean I'm me out in tribute. I pump death daily like the tribune in my defense I was high up the crystal my bra blind on the wrong side of a pistol from party and bullshit And blunts once in a while Small cities and towns are being run by the brown the whole love bound to overdose as well I saw coming years ago when I was 18 years old all time has told me that fucking monkey. I'm still your soul Diction to prison locked up my whole town rest in peace. Sorry GCM Tito. Charlie anyone who lost someone they loved did this I'm sorry. I watched the tide change used to hustle buy things now It's a hustle just to get something to drive me. I love my people the sick and the shun Fuck what they say see what addiction is done to us as a people and as a community I pray fun has advice choose wisely. This one was taking fucking life I like that I be lying if I said I didn't I do sacrifice my life just to get it I overdosed and died two times. I don't get it. It's a cold lonely role for the addicted