 Good afternoon, doctor. Sit down. Your schedule has been cleared. Do not attempt to leave the room until you are told this session is over. The door is already locked, but it is crucial that you pay attention. Good. You are now part of the SCP Foundation's Ethics Committee. This is not a demotion. Sit down. Yes, you are terrified. You think you're being punished for some failure, some lapse of judgment, some horrible disaster that you were involved in. You think that your career with the Foundation is over. You might even have thought that transferred to the Ethics Committee as a euphemism for killed. Oh, this is not the case. You notice I said killed instead of terminated. That's a deliberate choice. On the Ethics Committee, we don't use euphemisms. Because of the work the SCP Foundation does, a lot of personnel think that the idea of the Foundation having an Ethics Committee is just a bad joke. Of course, they know that the committee exists, but they've got the impression that we're an ineffectual laughing stock. A bunch of purposeless seat fillers who wave a rubber stamp that says approved and ever dare to voice any objection. Yes, I see you've heard the jokes. Here's one. How many members of the Ethics Committee doesn't take to change a light bulb? None. The Ethics Committee can't change anything. No, it's all right. You were meant to laugh. We're making effort to sustain the impression that we're useless because we are the secret power within the SCP Foundation. Sit down. Yes, there are the O-fives. They judge what is and isn't safe, and that's a vital and important function, but we are the ones who advise the O-fives on what is and is not acceptable. Oh, you've done horrible, awful things while working for the Foundation. Don't try to deny it. That is one of the unavoidable consequences of working with SCPs, and on occasion you've wondered if we are the quote-unquote bad guys. Well, we are not. And that is because of the Ethics Committee. This is your first lesson. Do you understand? Remember this. The Foundation is not evil. We do not torture people just because we are against unnecessary cruelty, which means someone has to decide when cruelty is necessary. And that someone is us. Stop trembling. It is vitally important to remember this. It is your second lesson. The Foundation does not rule the world. The Foundation serves the world. Do you understand what that means? Regardless of what the general population might think it wants, what we do, what the Foundation does, is in the overall best interest of that general population. Yes, I'm sure you did realize that already, but you haven't thought of the deeper implications. You've consoled yourself by thinking that all the torture and murder is for the greater good. But this implies that there is the greater good, and therefore a lesser good. It implies that there are multiple, distinct goods, and that these can be quantified and compared. This is what we do on the Ethics Committee. And we are the ones who balance the moral costs of everything the Foundation does. In order to balance these costs, we must know these costs. Do you understand what that means, Doctor? We know everything the Foundation does, has done, and ever will do. Everything that has ever been redacted or expunged, we know it. Every last detail. Yes, including what SCP-447-2 does when it comes into contact with dead bodies. Yes, we know exactly what procedure 110 Montauk is, too. We should. We're the ones who designed it. Ugh. No, no, it's quite alright. It's a common reaction. Perhaps we shouldn't schedule these meetings directly after lunch. Here, wipe your mouth. You will no longer be participating in active research. You may consider yourself a researcher at large, flirting from one project to another, from one site to another, at will. This is not a secret. You are welcome to tell all your friends that you have been transferred to the Ethics Committee, if you can deal with the jokes and the pity. You will observe what is done and ask the participants and yourself why it is being done. If at any point you feel that something is excessive or unnecessary or wrong, you inform us. Or we will summon the people involved and ask them questions in that meek, ineffectual way that your coworkers have mocked. And then, word will filter down from the O5s to the many levels of our bureaucracy, and those who are unethical will be given reprimands, which will be noted in their permanent record. Either the pay will be cut, or they will be demoted, or they will be transferred to another project, or they will be shot at crimes against humanity. This is your third lesson. Remember it. The P stands for protect. The foundation protects humanity from SCPs and we protect the foundation from itself. We judge what is and is not acceptable for the foundation to do. We balance evils so that on the whole and in the long run, evil is minimized. And now, you do not have a choice about being on the committee. Yes, the irony is lovely, isn't it?