 Craft presents the Great Gilder Sleeve. Yeah. Game makers of Clark A. Margeron and a complete line of famous quality food products presents Harold Perry as the Great Gilder Sleeve. Craft brings you the Great Gilder Sleeve every week at this time, written by John Whedon and Sam Moore, music by Claude Swaton. Let's leave in just a moment. But first, here's a tip that can save you plenty of time. Shopping time these days when the stores are so full and kitchen time too. When you're planning to serve macaroni and cheese, buy the box that contains both ingredients for that main dish. Buy a box of marvelous craft dinner for the best tasting macaroni and cheese you ever made. That one box of craft dinner contains not only special fast cooking macaroni, but also plenty of craft grated for really rich cheese flavor. With these two special ingredients, you cook delicious macaroni and cheese in just seven minutes by the clock. Craft dinner gives you fluffy light macaroni with golden cheese goodness through and through. Here's a hearty main dish that's a time saver and a point saver, and what macaroni and cheese it gives you. So try it soon. Save time, save points with craft dinner. Home of the Great Gilder Sleeve. Things are a little upset in the Gilder Sleeve household this week. The bug that's been going around town is finally laid birdie low, and she's been ordered this morning to go back to bed and stay. Marge Ray and Leroy have insisted on serving her breakfast there while Gilder Sleeve, downstairs at the front window, waits anxiously for the arrival of Dr. Pettibone. Well, there he is, and it's about time. What's he doing now? Oh, for goodness sake, the old fool has to put a blanket over his radiator every time he stops. You think that was a Rolls Royce instead of a Franklin? That's right, tuck it in, Doc. Wiggy, wiggy, wiggy. Take your time, no hurry, just people sick here, that's all. Come on, come on. Now what? Oh, that's right, forget your bag. Wonder you didn't forget your room? Careful, Doc. Have to have Leroy put some cenders on that sidewalk. Doc wouldn't sue, but you never know. Come on, Doc, this is no time to be admiring the scenery. Why don't you shovel off your wall? Why don't you watch your step? Come on, well, you're letting me in the cold. What's the matter with you? You look all right. It's not me, Doc, it's Bertie. I think maybe she's got the same thing Marjorie had. Good be. A lot of it around. Well, we'll see. Where is she? Up in her room. I'll lead you away. We'll do everything you can for her, won't you, Doc? We're very fond of Bertie. It's been with us a long time. Keep moving. Tell the truth, I think she's a little scared of doctors. Ever been sick before? So go a little easy, will you? We'll see, keep moving. In here? No, no, that's not... Oh, sorry. Her room's down here. How's the girl? Hi, George, you're looking better already. I think all you needed was a little breakfast. Bertie, you know Dr. Pettybone? Hello there. How do you do, Doc? Hi! Leroy, pull up a chair for the doctor. Leroy, have you seen my English book? It reminds me, go get a glass of water. We might need it. Okay. Now, Bertie. And Gilder sleep. Just a minute, Doc. Now, Bertie, I want you to know there's nothing to be afraid of. Not a thing in the whole wide world. You're going to get well, you understand? You've got to get well. And the doctor isn't going to hurt you. Gilder sleep, look. Just trying to reassure. Doc, never been sick before. She's a little nervous. Why don't you just leave the bedside manner to me? You'll kill her with yours. What's he opening that bag for? Well, a bag? Well, those are just his instruments, Bertie. Uh-oh. Now, don't get scared. He isn't going to saw your leg off or anything like that. Yeah. He has to have those things long just in case. So, Mr. Gilder sleep, I wish you'd sent for my sister. I never been sick a day in my life. I never even got nuked at by a doctor. Now, Bertie. Take it easy, Bertie. Bertie, he won't hurt you a bit, honestly. Why would I with stuff? Yeah, Marjorie, tell Bertie. When he stuck that needle in you, you didn't even feel it, did you? Needle? Not a bit. There. You see? Boy, that's a bunch of stitches. I've heard plenty. Run along. A glass of water, Dr. Pettybone. What'll I do with it? Just take it back where you got it. I won't be needing it. Now, Bertie, if you'll just open your mouth. What's that thing? That's just a thermometer, Bertie. Like the one they used on me, remember? That ain't the thing he's stuck you with. No, no. Now, if you people would just be quiet. Quiet, Marjorie. Quietly, Roy. Who said anything? Just put this under your tongue, Bertie. Yeah, that's right. Just put it under your tongue. And close your mouth. That's right. And leave it there a little while. Leave it there a little while. You see? It doesn't hurt, does it? Most of the time. No, no, no. Keep your mouth closed. Oh, yeah. Keep it closed, Bertie. Only don't bite down on that. It's glass. It might cut your throat. There's mercury in it. Poison. Poison? Mr. Guilty. I'm fine now. I think the treatment doesn't work already. I'm getting nothing out of it. You're staying right where you are. Listen, I've got too many assistants here. Yeah, you're right, Doc. Marjorie, I think you'd better run up downstairs and leave us alone here. You too, Leroy. You too, Gilderslee. Yeah. Huh? You're the worst of the lot. Leroy. Now go on. Go on. I'll see you downstairs. I was only trying to help. That's all. If I need a consultant, I'll send for a minute. It'll cost you plenty. Now feed it. All right. Come along, children. Don't worry, Bertie. Don't worry for a single minute. Understand? What do you think, Doc? What do you think? That should be all right. Just keep her in bed. Keep her quiet. We'll use your head. She'll probably be able to get up Monday. Oh, great. Hotcakes Monday. Well, can't thank you enough, Doc. Oh, by the way, we're having a little evening of poker down at the Jolly Boys Club tonight. P.V. Hooker, the chief of police. Wouldn't care to join us, would you? Well, I might just be able to make it. I seem to remember that Mrs. Petty was attending the meeting tonight. Oh, great. Delighted to have you. Oh, for English poetry, guess who I found it? Our uncle's desk. Oh, thank goodness. And that's not all. I didn't know you were looking for it, my dear. I didn't know you were interested in poetry. You didn't, huh? Well, listen to this. I found it in the wastebasket. In uncle's handwriting, too. Leroy. The doctor and I are very busy now. To the Lawrence. Leroy. Oh, my love. Boys will be boys, Doc. Wait till I get you later. I found it in the wastebasket, huh? The contents of wastebasket are confidential, my boy. What's the funny place to put anything confidential? Besides, you told me to empty it. We won't discuss it now. Well, Doctor? Well, gildersleeve? Well, we'll be seeing you tonight, then, at the Jolly Boys. I'll be looking forward to it. Yes, indeed. Yes, indeed. Goodbye, Doctor. Goodbye. Leroy, come into my study. In there, fellas. Something like, my love is like a red, red rose. It's newly sprung in June. My love is like a melody that's sweetly played in tune. Oh, no. It's a fact. It's a fact. You can arrest me if it's not. Did you see this, Doctor? P.V., I give you my word. It was right there in his own handwriting. Wasn't it, Judge? I don't know. I wasn't there. Well, it was. The gildersleeve. Yo, that's gross. Well, you know, you know you can laugh, but by golly, you have to hand it to the guy. He's quite a poet. Yeah, no, I wouldn't hear that. Well, it's better than you could write, P.V. It's better than he could write. Yes, I'm afraid Mr. Gildersleeve bought a doc from a book, Robert Burns. Burns, huh? Well, I've heard him well spoken of. Yes, I've always considered that one of my favorites, so has Mrs. P.V. We read it sometimes together. As fair art thou, my bonny lass, so deep in love am I, and I will love thee still, my dear, till all the seas gang drive. Gang? Not. Oh. And a pretty. I, for one, fail to find anything either pretty or amusing in any of this. Why, Judge, what's the matter? You gentlemen appear to be forgetting that Gildersleeve has been sending this so-called poetry to my girl. Well, the judge has got a point there, I guess. In fact, I hereby charge Gildersleeve with conduct on becoming a member of the Jolly Boys. I know, I wouldn't say that. It is, and I want it so entered in the minutes. Oh, now, Judge, we're all friends here. Gildersleeve is no friend of mine. He's proved that. Ladies and gentlemen, gentlemen, greetings one and all. Hello, Mr. Gildersleeve. P.V. By George, I haven't seen you since yesterday. She and Doc. Well, I'm glad you made it, Doc. So you gave the old lady to slip, eh? I bet you told her you were sitting up with a sick friend. You old son of a gun. Well, Judge, how's the legal eagle this evening? Eh, Judge, I inquired about the state of your health. You can I answer on advice of counsel. Oh, we're being a little stuffy this evening, eh? How's it open up some coax and get things started here? What say, P.V.? What's this all about, Judge? You know darn well what it's all about. I haven't the faintest idea. As a matter of fact, we were talking about it just before you came up here, and we all agreed that you have been guilty of conduct and becoming a gentleman and a jolly boy. Now, see here, I may be no gentleman, but by George. Boys, boys, now let's try and keep it friendly, shall we? You keep out of this, Chief, but listen, go chase burglars. If I... Listen, Hooker, when a man can't come into his own club without being insulted by his best friend. When a man can't turn his back without having his best friend try to steal his girl. I did not. You did so. I did not. You did and I can prove it. Well, go ahead. I will do that. Put up a shot, Hooker. I will. Don't you blow that thing in my ear, Chief. Hold on, this is...this is Karen. Here we got the doc with us here for the first time, like to have a more regular member. What kind of an impression is he going to get from us carrying on like this? Oh, I ask you. I get the impression that you have some pretty good times up here. By Harry the Doc's all right, isn't he, fellas? Now, if we could get Gilder's sleep and the judge together... The judge wasn't such a sorehead. He let me explain. I want none of your explanations, and I'm not a sorehead. You're not only a sorehead. You're a stupid old ghost. Why, you libertine, you woman-snacker! What? You call me a... You have a life! How long? Well, it's really...this is terrible. Here you are, old friends. Well, I tell you, it does something to me when I hear you carrying on like this. It... Well, it does something to me. Well, he started. I shall make no comment on that, then. Now, look, commissioner, you've been friends with a judge here for a long time, haven't you? Well, yes. And, judge, you've been friends with a commissioner, haven't you? I was formerly his friend. Well, that's what I say, old pal buddies, both of you. Now, I say it's a terrible thing if any woman is allowed to come between you. Am I right, fellas? That's right. Doc? I guess so. There. Now, you heard P.V. and you heard the doc. Now, what about it? Are you two gonna shake hands like good fellas? The fact remains that I found Miss L. Ray first. That I had never denied, judge. But in courting Miss L. Ray, I was thinking not of myself, but of you. Oh, so you admit you courted her? I did it only to save you from yourself. Now, there, commissioner, if I may be permitted to intersperse a word... They do. You say that in making love to this lady, you were thinking only of the judge, right? Right. Well, I've seen the lady, and, well, there, I can't altogether go along with you. Anyone who could make love to Miss Del Ray and think of the judge... No offense, judge. Continue. Well, what I want to ask is this. Commissioner, can you look yourself in the eye and honestly say that there was, uh, nothing in this for you? Uh, well, if you could it that way. Horace, maybe I have been a bit of a louse. Guilty, there's no one. I'd rather hear that from than you. Good. That's the way. That's more like it. And now I'm going to admit something to you. I think I've been a bit of an old fool myself. Shake hands on that. Peavey, Peavey, let's have some colts here. Horace, you old son of a gun. Guilty, you old horse. That's the stuff. Everybody friends. And now on Guilty may the best man win. Oh, no, Horace, he's yours. Oh, but Guilty. I insist. Del Horace is yours, judge. I hereby renounce her. I put her from my mind forever. Now, ain't that nice? Say thank you to the commissioner, judge. Oh, Peavey, where are those colts? Coming up, chief. Well, a song. How about it? You sing, Doc? According to my wife, no. Your wife is not here. I'd sing if she was. That's the stuff. We were sailing along. Now, let's sing it. We were sailing. Just a few seconds. Meanwhile, a question. You sometimes find your ration points running very low. Well, listen to this. Here's how to make a swell main dish that's a real point saver. Here's how to stretch a little meat into a real company dish. The secret is, of course, craft dinner. Macaroni with really rich cheese flavor. And you make it fast. The box of craft dinner gives you both ingredients for this swell macaroni and cheese. A special macaroni and plenty of craft grated, too, for a wonderful cheese flavor. Just seven minutes at the stove, and these magic craft dinner ingredients give you a lick and good main dish for four hungry folks. To make leftover meat into a company dish, mold the hot craft dinner macaroni and cheese into a ring, and serve the creamed leftovers in the center. There's a real extender dish for you, and delicious. Try craft dinner soon. Remember craft dinner for speedy, rich-tasting macaroni and cheese. Now let's get back to the great Gilder Sleeve. Forty-eight hours have passed since his pledge to renounce Dolores Del Rey for the benefit of Judge Hooker, and we find Gilder Sleeve now alone in his study, getting rid of a small collection of cherished mementos. Let's be very quiet, shall we? Here's the menu from the static club. That night we had dinner there. Let's see what we have. The roast beef 125. Maybe we should have tried the chicken a la king 140. That's the night I should have kissed her. Oh, well. Let's see. Beginner Spanish lessons. Well, no use beginning him now. Amo amas ama. I love you love he loves Hooker. Well, what's this? Receipt for my rumba lessons. Funny, huh? Never liked a rumba before. But with her... Pardon me, Aunt, I just wanted to get you waist fasted. Helping party. Why didn't you do that this afternoon? I was doing my homework all afternoon. And you told me that came first. Oh, well, all right. I won't let it happen. Yes, yes. There's nothing in here. There was nothing in my waist basket that got there by accident. Oh, gosh, a book. Can I keep it? I prefer that it be processed in the same manner as the rest of the trash, Leroy. Yes, sir. Gosh, a book. Guess I better clean out everything while I'm at it. That record, too. Marjorie, have you seen that record of vasemimucho? It was right here with the others. Spike Jones, Spike Jones. Sinatra, Spike Jones. Ah! You gonna play it? No. Yes? I didn't want it around. Since you bought it. It meant nothing to me. Uncle Mort, you seem upset. Has it anything to do with Miss Del Ray? What makes you ask that? I know what love is like, Uncle Mort. Is that it? Well... Oh, poor monkey. Well, I know just how you feel. I remember the time Alexander Pittman took Helen Lewis to the sophomore Weenie roast. I thought I was gonna die, honestly. Is that the way you feel? I don't know. Did you have a bust up? Well, nothing like that. I've simply decided that from now on, Miss Del Ray's path and mine should go in opposite directions. Oh. I read a story like that once. It was terribly sad. It was continued, so I never found out what happened. How does she feel about it? I haven't discussed it with her. You're just gonna let her find out? Well, I suppose that would be a little cruel. Maybe I ought to give her a little notice, huh? Well, you could send her a box of flowers or something with a little note. I've got a better idea than that. I'll go around and tell her personally. Well... I can put in a good word for Judge Hooker at the same time. Yeah. Well, better dress right after supper if I'm going out. I'm glad we talked it. What do you have anything so extraordinary about that? It's been like this. All right, you ask him, then if it doesn't work, I'll ask him. Okay. Well, here he comes. Monkey, darling, you look just too beautiful. Thank you, my dear. Yeah, I am. Claren for Judge Hooker. I never saw you shave for an errand before. Well, a gentleman always looks neatly, Roy. Hmm. How do you see if it's smooth? Hmm. Come on, too. What is this looking at me, feeling me, and smelling me? Go get my walking stick, will you please, LeRoy? Are you kidding? Yeah. Oh, sorry, Uncle, it's just a long time since you... I'll get it right away. You really look like a million dollars, aren't you? Well, I'm glad you think so. This whole thing was your idea. Well, I just knew. I guess men are kind of thoughtless sometimes. Oh, but I'm sure you never mean to be. Well... Here's the old chile, LeRoy. Anybody guessing your way? This is a walking stick, LeRoy, not a bludgeon. It adds just the right touch. You're perfect, aren't you? Well, I guess I better get started. Good night, my dear. Good night. Good night, LeRoy. Good night, Uncle Mort. Would you mind if LeRoy and I went to the movies? I'll get him home early. Well, just this once. Yes, thanks, Uncle. Thanks, Uncle, darling. Good night. Good night. Good night. Poor Uncle Mort. What's the matter? That's what he's doing. Dark as ever on these darn stairs. Out of Susan home. Clean shirt wasted. Surprise. I was just beginning to feel sorry for myself. Oh? Good morning, Uncle. Well, I... Well, I... I'm glad I found you alone, Miss Dolores. I'm glad too. May I have your hat? Cool. And your walking stick? So handsome. Thank you. There's something I wanted to say to you. Wonderful. We have a nice, long conversation, eh? Come in and sit down and be comfortable. Well, thank you. You do not mind if I sit here on the couch with you? Well, I wasn't expecting... You're just coerging here in my apartment. All day I have complained to the janitor, but oh, he is so stupid. He says he has no cause. Do you mind if I sit here close to you so I keep warm? Well, no, I... I guess not. Now, what was it you wanted to say? I can't remember. I mean, I don't know quite how to start. Ah, you can remember if you try. Come on. Oh, yes. Well, I want you to know that I think you're a very wonderful woman, Miss Dolores. Oh, that is nice. Tell me some more. I mean, I respect you. Thank you. I mean, I feel differently about you than I did when I first met you. Ah, what did you think of me at first? Well, I thought you were a plaything. I thought that I could... Well, I thought you were just a pretty girl. And now you don't think I'm pretty anymore? Oh, yes. I mean, no, no. I still think you're pretty. Too darn pretty. Ah, that's better. I think you are very handsome. Darn it, I must be handling this wrong. What? Well, the thing is, you see, a woman in your position, men shouldn't go around thinking of you as a plaything. I wonder why they do. Well, there's no use going into that. All my life, all my life I have had a difficult struggle. I have been a single dancer. I worked in terrible little towns where there was nobody nice to talk to. Oh, you poor kid. And yet, I want what every woman wants. A little house, some children, a man to protect me. That's what I say. You ought to think about getting married. Oh, you think so? Very definitely. That's what I came over to tell you. Oh, fucking marten. Just one. There's nothing as sweet as this. She also keeps like a tiger. Are you so sure you want to marry me? As on the phone. Listen, Judge, if a man is telling a woman about his best friend and all of a sudden she grabs him and kisses him against his will because she thinks he's talking about somebody else and all the time he's really talking about this other party and she kisses him, is that a breach of promise? The facts in a breach of promise suit can only be determined in court. Something tells me I'm going to need a lawyer, Judge. Get yourself another lawyer. My services have already been retained. Imagine serving leftovers and having the family think it's a brand new main dish. Here's how it's done. First, get a package of delicious golden tabstead cheese food. Then melt tabstead into a smooth, luscious cheese sauce to give leftovers of meat, vegetables, or fish a brand new flavor lift. Why, tabstead can make leftovers so appetizing, so good to eat. You'll have the whole family calling for second helpings. 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