 Have you ever wondered why you can't seem to just be friends with everyone? We're not all men to be friends, really. It is probably because you're really smart. Smart people can differentiate between an acquaintance and a friend. What does it really mean to be a friend? Are friends a group of guys you hang out with? Are they people you play video games with or go to the mall with? Are friends really just that? Figuring out who is really your friend is the first step to actually having friends. Friendship is a relationship that requires commitment and investment by both parties. If you're not willing to invest your time and resources on another person, you probably don't have any friends. In this video, I will share with you 9 reasons why smart people have fewer friends. 1. You enjoy being alone Being alone is really great for some people. Are you one of them? Don't get me wrong. People will tend to perceive you as a snob. But it is their problem, not yours. According to a study conducted by American British psychologists at the London School of Economics, Satoshi Kanazawa, people with low to average intelligence levels reported greatest self-happiness with a group. The exact opposite was true for people with very high intelligence. As a very smart person, you may be less happy if you spend more time with friends. You always feel like there is a lot to do. Hanging out with the guys for over an hour can feel like it is taking too much time. The future is always calling and you may end up not really enjoying the present. Smart people usually have big goals and accomplishing them takes a lot of time and resources. They may only hang out for long if the conversation revolves around their interests. If you enjoy being alone, don't sweat it. You didn't really choose to be the way you are. 2. You don't need people's approval People sometimes make a lot of friends to belong to. They do this to appeal to a flawed sense of social acceptance. In reality, such people may simply be ignored or even taken for granted. In contrast, those uninterested in being a part of the group are always valued and courted. People who build great products and services spend a lot of their time doing it. They don't need validation from anyone or feel the need to belong to anybody. They are focused on their goals and go about executing them. 3. You don't enjoy idle conversations Many people talk about the most stupid things. Imagine hanging out with guys who talk about video games for two hours. They don't build video games or review them for a living. They simply play them for fun. A smart person always wants to talk about productive things. They are more likely comfortable if an idea is being discussed than people. Because most people at work talk about other people, they simply are not interested in those type of conversations. Such behavior can make them come off as aloof. And in some cases, snobs. 4. You have strong ideals and value system Well-thought-out goals drive most smart people. In order to achieve them, they model their lives to align with their vision. Their vision systems are often different from those of regular people. A smart financial analyst may be interested in owning a venture capital firm in his late 30s. He needs a lot of capital to pull this off and may leave minimally, even if he's paid well. Hanging out with people who continuously splurge may be a deal breaker. He may then choose to stay on his own. It is not easy to find people who hold similar ideals, except through interest-based networking events. More often than not, the people around you can be so radically different in thinking. You just want your space. It is one of the reasons smart people have fewer friends. Friends can be really influential in a person's life. Be mindful of who you let in. 5. You have actually identified who your friends are Most smart people aren't looking for friends. They have likely already identified them. The trouble is that many people don't know the difference between acquaintances and friends, and usually assume others are their friends when they are really not. A friend genuinely cares about your well-being and doesn't just hang out with you because it is fun. Don't get me wrong. You can argue any day that a guy who buys you a bottle of beer to cool off from a stressful day at work is a friend. But how much has such a bottle really changed your life? Great friends help you become a better version of yourself every day. Someone who introduces you to girls and new drugs to try may not be adding as much value to you as you think. 6. People may not always understand you Do you feel misunderstood a lot? Welcome to the club. A smart person's ideals are usually radically different from the people around them because thinking is sometimes stressful. A lot of people settle into mediocrity. Voicing out your ideals will be met with a lot of criticisms and sometimes discouragement. This can make you feel misunderstood and underappreciated. A million thoughts can run through the minds of smart people and intervals that may not be able to communicate properly because of how complex what they are thinking about is. It can be frustrating trying to explain something that makes perfect sense to you but zero sense to others. Smart people have this problem a lot. 7. You are more focused on long-term objectives Smart people usually have long-term goals they are focused on accomplishing. This takes a lot of their time and can make them antisocial sometimes. Imagine trying to build a platform to compete with PayPal. How many friends do you think you would have? My guess is not many because it might take a decade to accomplish your goals and almost everyone would think you are crazy when you start. Smart people try to surround themselves with people who get them but they are not always successful. There is no award in the world for the man or woman with the highest number of friends but there are for creating a vaccine for COVID-19, carrying cancer and things in those categories. What do you want to be remembered for? 8. You value your time a lot Smart people know their time is limited so they maximize it. They don't spend a lot of time partying. They have a routine and follow it religiously. They know that every minute lost will set them back. They are usually goal oriented. To keep a smart person listening you have to really have a lot of important things to say. They don't live on social media unless it is a part of your job and they take their time very seriously. A smart person would rather sleep than go out because going out consumes more energy. After a stressful day at work they rationalize that sleeping and not partying is a better option. They also acknowledge that they are not Einstein and on wristwatches they track time spent in any activity. 9. You don't need as much social interaction as the average person does. Hanging out is fun and all. To smart people they would rather work on their goals than hang out so much. Intelligent people often prefer hanging out with people that do things similar to what they do so that the hanging out would at least be productive. This is really not a great move because they tend to talk only about work related things. Smart people usually don't have a life. They are very successful in their areas of interest but do not really spend a lot of time actually living. A smart person is okay. Not hanging out for weeks on end. They have a lot going on in their head. They sometimes have to be dragged out of their apartment by their friends but if you let them be they will be just fine. Most smart people are not lonely. They just like being alone. Sometimes they talk to themselves, pace the room and work for long hours at a stretch. Being lonely means you want to be with people but you feel isolated. Being alone is different. You want to be on your own and you do not feel lonely. Loneliness can affect your mental health while being alone is just being alone. As a smart person you will have few friends. It is a good idea if you start on time to select your friends and select only the ones that share your interest and passion. But no matter what you do, keep being you.