 Alright guys, I was Vince Kelvin, found with PUA Summit, and a whole bunch of other things too. Awesome guy, awesome speech. Next up, we have Frederick, aka Satisfaction. This guy's been studying success with women for six years. Three of those, he's been in relationships. The way he coaches, he likes to call it flirting. That's really what it's all about to him. Not so much the classic term we like to label social skills, game. So it's all about flirting. Not so much the game. He also coaches women too actually. Well he's been a coach for a long time and he coaches women and he's been coaching in this field like Vince and other guys for about a year and a half now, a little bit more actually. And he's from Amsterdam. I was actually staying with him. I've actually seen the speech he's about to give you. I saw him practice it in Amsterdam and it was, I'm not going to lie, pretty badass. It was the first time I saw him speak and I really, really liked it. And I spoke right after him. Fun time, fun city and I appreciate him letting me crash at his place. No problem. So yeah, dude take it away man, kill it. Thanks Anthony. Alright guys, my actual name is Frederick. Yeah. Do you have an online name? Do you have an online name? What's your online name? Well I can't even say it. You don't even know how to say it, but you do have an online name. So you have a double identity, right? So I have that too. I try to get rid of it. Do you know why I want to get rid of it? Because I like being real. I just like being a real, real guy. That's what it really comes down to. I love to be in touch with myself. I love to know what I want. I love to really have standards, both for myself and also the people I meet, right? Like if I meet not only a girl but also a guy and he doesn't really fit my core standards. For example, if he's dishonest, well he can go somewhere, but please not near me. And this is kind of something I want to talk to you about. Having standards in the women you meet and also having standards in yourself. Does that correspond to something you know from method flirting or some people call it game, fine. Does that correspond to something, having standards? Can you imagine? What do you, what do you think? No? Anybody? Value. Value? It's not bad. However, I'm looking for something else. I'm looking for the most overlooked understated thing there is in old school method. I'll say one more time, game. Respect yourself. Qualification. Have you ever heard that word? Qualification? Yeah. Right. This used to be something where you would give the woman a reason why you like her. See I think you should give her a real reason, a reason that actually corresponds to you. And this is basically what I want to talk about. Like Anthony said, I've been in this for six years, I've had one committed relationship in between for three years, where I was with one woman. And that's actually something that, you know, when I'm 35, it's going to be over seven years. I don't see myself being at the club the whole weekend, you know, every now and then I will be, maybe once a week, but I'll have somebody with me, beautiful girl that I really love. I'm actually in a relationship right now, open relationship. Excellent girl, really like her. So this is what it's all about for me, but first of all, you know, it's pretty sad. I didn't have sex for three years. Not the last three, luckily, but in a period of my life when I was 18, 19 to sort of 21, 22. There was a period of my life where I almost didn't even kiss a girl besides the yearly one drunk occasion where you sort of fall into somebody's lab accidentally. Right? You guys can probably relate to that. I mean, who can relate to this in this room? Who has a period of, who's had a period in his life where he didn't get what he want in terms of relationships, in terms of sex life, in terms of your own attractive lifestyle. Almost everybody can relate to this. Awesome. How long was your period of time where you had this? Two years? Yeah, two, three years. Was it like when you were 18, 19 in your sexual prime? Yeah, exactly. So how bad is that? So you've exactly been at the place where I've been. Congratulations. That's really nice that you actually also admit this, you know? I really like that. See, I've been there too. And a lot of people in this room have been there as well. Right? And this is what got me into learning how to flirt with women better, learning how to better interact with women, learning how to be both happy with myself and the people I meet and the people I be with, the people I basically spend my time with. But since we've already started with a sort of story that kind of corresponds to Alcoholics Anonymous, I'm Frederick. I didn't have sex for three years. I want to sort of take this a little bit deeper, because there are some things that people, when they get into this, some pitfalls that almost, I would say that almost nobody can avoid. And I've certainly had my share of these pitfalls. And I want to talk to you a little bit about these five, in my opinion, worst pitfalls that you can fall into. Number one, the information download junkie. Right? A lot of these companies make a lot of stuff freely available to you so that you come back to them, which is, I think, a good thing, both for their business and for your development. However, if you download the number 169 free e-book, what do you think that's going to give you? Any idea? What do you think that's going to give you? Just advertising for the rest. And a lot of advertisement for the rest? Yes. And a lot of stuff you've read before already. Is it going to be boring? Yes, it's going to be boring. And you know what? You're going to spend a lot of time searching and downloading these e-books. And then in the end, you're going to get completely confused. Because as we all know, there's natural flirting. There's a method for it. There's even NLP-based methods for it. Speed seduction, whatever you name it, it's there. And when you get into the phase where you try to naturalize speed seduction in a method phase model, then you're really going to get screwed up. And you're never going to get anywhere. You know, I've certainly had my share of this. Has anybody downloaded a lot of stuff that, afterwards, they thought is completely useless a few years later? Yeah, half of the room can relate. The other half are still downloading. I hope you stop that right now. And you actually focus on the stuff you have. And actually on yourself and your interactions with others, because that's what you learn most. That's exactly the point where you really learn. You don't learn something by just reading stuff in front of your computer. And I like to say, mentally masturbating about it. That doesn't give you anything. Get out of the house. Meet people. You know, meet girls, meet guys. Like Vince said earlier, meet the old lady. Why not? Talk to the cashier in the supermarket. You will make their day. It has a few benefits for you, too. You know how I check into a hotel? How do you check into a hotel? Well, you say my name is X, Y, Z. I have a reservation, usually, right? Yeah, do you know what I say? Hey, how are you doing? Are you having a good day? Awesome. Really like to meet you. It's good being here. And yeah, my name's Frederick. And yeah, I've reserved a room. But first of all, I try to make their day just a little bit better. I've spent 122 nights in a hotel last year for my job. And you know what? I realize this at some point. And it's not only making their day better, but you know what it also happens, what it also leads to. Well, not only that, they will also say like, hey, you know, we'd actually like to offer you an upgrade. So how is that? You're making their day, they're making your day. It's a mutual exchange of value. So actually go out and do stuff and don't be reading the whole time, right? Actually, practice another pitfall. I need to take my notes here, because I'm not that smart to remember an entire poem by myself. Without the confused information or download junkie, what could this relate to? Wasting time, right? This is another pitfall, wasting time on activities that are basically not useful, that are not bringing you further. So we know now the two pitfalls and what they lead to. So what I really want to do now is I don't just want to paint a black picture. I want to give you guys a remedy for this. Also you guys at home watching right now. Because maybe you're watching the second video, which is good, because there are awesome videos on the side. Maybe you're watching the 69th video. Well, in a row, I think you should first of all go pick up something to eat, maybe have a drink, and exercise before you watch the other videos. You should do something useful with your life. I'm not saying that having a lot of information is not useful, but A, it can get you confused. And B, it can help you to waste a lot of time. Limit yourself. I will only read two hours worth of e-books every week. Or four, or six, depending on if you're a student or if you're unemployed and you might have a bit more time. Personally, I have a job that costs me 50 to 70 hours a week. If I start reading 16 hours worth of e-books, you can imagine where my week goes and my sleep. Absolutely nowhere. I won't have a life anymore. So take this as a rule, read stuff about time management, and apply it to this. Apply it to learning flirting skills. There are better things to do than just dabbling around on the internet. Another one is guru worshipping. I found my share of this pitfall, definitely. I remember myself a few years ago vividly defending one company against the other on a forum. And none of these companies I was even affiliated with. And I bet you like 100 euros right now, these companies didn't care about me defending them against each other. Absolutely not. They're grown-up men or women. They can perfectly defend themselves if they need to. Do you really need to defend yourself if you know you've got something good? Absolutely not, because you know it's good. It should be people, take it or leave it. The ones who it's good for, they will take it. And the other ones should discard it. So don't spend your time guru worshipping. Seriously, do not do this. These are just, I might be up here, but I'm just a dude. I'm just a guy like you are. That's, I'm Frederick. What's your name? Jonas, you're Jonas. We're just a bunch of guys, right? There's nothing really, there's nothing really different. We're just two men who are actually interested in getting the most out of our lives. These guys are not gods. These guys are just normal dudes. Just quit. My remedy for this is just quit guru worshipping. Take their information, take it seriously. Think about it critically. But don't be like, oh, holy pickup God, I will always only take your information. This is a very important point because it also, again, leads to wasting a lot of time and reading a lot of useless ebooks. See, these points are all kind of interconnected. What's also a really thing, a thing that I really fell into is living through other people. When you watch the 150th infield video of somebody doing almost exactly the same, you've watched in at least 20 other infield videos before. You know what this is? You know what, you might as well watch? You might as well watch reality television because it comes down to exactly the same, right? Yeah, you sort of live your own emotions through others. So you could be like, oh, is this guy gonna get our phone number? Is this guy gonna be able to kiss this girl? I need to keep watching this. I wanna see how this ends. Why not go out yourself? Why not go out yourself and try to get this phone number and try to kiss this girl? Because that's what you actually want. And don't try, just do it and actually be it. Do not live your life, do not live your emotional life through the actions of other people. Take action yourself. I bet you've heard the sentence, take action yourself quite a few times. And you know what, because it's right. Taking action is the basis of reaching any goal you have in life. We have another one, a last one. The pick up only life. I know people that have been kicked out of university. Personally, luckily I just got around that. I know people that have lost a bunch of friends. I certainly haven't lost my friends, but I did have to regain a few friends, like re-befriend them sort of, you know? Get them back, show them that all the time that I ignored them while I was wasting time and reading 169 e-books in a row, I actually still did care about them even though I was like, nah, sorry, I can't make it. Can't go to football with you. First I got to read, then I got to prepare and then I got to go in field, you know? Is that how a real attractive lifestyle is supposed to be? I dare to differ. I think a real attractive lifestyle is something different. So these are, in my opinion, the five worst pitfalls you can fall into. And like I said, had my share of those and we found out that a lot of you guys had your share of these as well. So for the people at home, for the people here, write those five pitfalls down. Or actually, if you forgot to write them down, watch the video maybe again or send an email to info at naturalqualification.com and I'll write them all out for you. By the way, Anthony said you should take notes. I will right now relief all of you of taking notes because actually the content, my natural qualification content, which I'm gonna talk about in just a minute, I will take notes for you and send them to you for free. Like I said, I have a real job. I make money through coaching people one-on-one, yes. But actually my real job, it does pay my rent, it's fine. I'm exactly where I wanna be in that sense. So write me an email at info at naturalqualification.com. It's all spelled together, natural qualification, no dots, no dashes, no nothing. And I will send you the notes once I'm really done with them, right? It's gonna be quality notes. So I wanna review them and get them reviewed by other people as well. So what we're gonna do now is I have a bunch of slides here which I don't really wanna put up because it would sort of screw up the picture behind me. Well, guess what? I will send those to you as well for free. So you get the whole picture basically. So let's talk about the naturally attractive young man. What do you guys think is attractive? What do you guys think is attractive in a man? Ken, like, does anybody have a good opinion on this? Does anybody know? Has anybody studied attraction a lot? Who has? You have? I did study it, but I just haven't suggested it. You had a suggestion. Anybody who's really studied it a lot, like in depth, knows which qualities are naturally attractive in a man. Would you like to come up here with me? Take a microphone and we'll have a seat together. We'll just explore this a little bit. Hi, Fredrik. Have a seat. It's like Oprah. I actually like Tyra better, but that's all right. I like Tyra better. So tell me, what do you think is naturally attractive in a guy? Confidence. Yes. Knows what he wants. Two points. It's kind of interconnected, confidence in knowing what you want, huh? Yeah. Just keep going, sorry. In a way, in a way. Yeah, it's basically the same, but it has ambitions. Yeah. Works on itself. Yes. Like we're all doing here, working on yourself. And getting the best out of yourselves. Yeah, that's a bunch of really good points. I'd just like to add to that a little bit, but first of all, I thank you really for being up here. Just give him a hand. It's tough to be on camera up here. And I'll buy you a beer later on. Oh, thank you. That's another mantra, you know, don't ever drink alcohol. It's fine, you know, if you didn't ever drink alcohol before you got into this, cool. Stay with that, because that's yourself. However, if you like to have a beer every now and then before you got into this, why would you pick up a mantra of don't ever have a nice beer and enjoy that beer again? You know, people tell you, community helps you to get out of social conditioning. While I got news for you, the community also conditions you socially. Just in a different way. I think Anthony mentioned this morning that you should always keep thinking critically about everything you encounter. Yeah, and this is really, really important. Don't just take everything for granted that other people tell you, because it might, you know, either not apply to you or it might steal the fun out of your life or it might just be plainly wrong. You know, this is an industry where there is a lot of supply and less demand. So there's a lot of people out there, probably none of them are here, that might not, you know, connect you to the right stuff. So think about everything you encounter critically. Basically, a man who embodies fun is attractive, who's not only fun himself, but he makes the whole experience of being with him also more fun for other people, right? Embodying fun. I mean, there's a lot more, right? There's being authentic, something we're gonna talk about today a lot. There's being masculine, what Jeffrey already mentioned, excellent point, having a high self-esteem, being socially valued. You know, socially valued? It's this one guy who comes into the bar and he's like, yes, he's there, it's gonna be an awesome night. You know, because he's probably fun and authentic too. A naturally attractive man. And lastly, there are a lot more, these are just the ones that I apply to myself. Lastly, the naturally attractive man has standards. He has standards for the people who are with him and for himself as well. And later on, I'll tell you how these actually reflect on each other. So somebody who hasn't said something and would like to speak up, what's one of the standards that you hold yourself to? Anybody, just shoot, just shout. Consistency, good. So you also like to be with consistent people. In a way. It's maybe worth spending a minute thinking about it. For me, it's honesty. If you're dishonest with me, you're out of my life immediately. You know, if you just tell me I got five minutes late because there was traffic, I don't really care about this. This is not a fundamental lie to me if there was traffic or not. This doesn't affect me negatively. But if you dare to affect me negatively with your dishonesty, that's it. Bye-bye, go find other friends. It's one of, this is the single highest standard I hold myself into, towards. Because I always have to look at my own mirror image every night and be like, all right, you know. I'm still a good guy, I'm happy with myself. I can sleep well and wake up well. And when I wake up, I look into that mirror again, and I say, yes, I can have a good day because I'm still exactly the guy I want to be. And honesty for me is the absolute foundation for this. So we've talked about the attractive man. Think about those qualities a little bit for yourself. Don't necessarily read a lot of stuff about them, but just, you know, apply some clear thinking, some critical, clear thinking of what do you want to be in terms of characteristics? And how do you want the people to be that you're spending your time with? Because in the end that leads to having an attractive lifestyle and creating attraction, as they say, or whatever, is just maybe gonna be good for the moment. But if you don't work on having this attractive lifestyle, this is the foundation of it, guys. Basically, your house will break down. My attractive lifestyle is, you know, like a house in Amsterdam, I always like to say, is built on wooden poles. Because the city I live in, I'm actually German. I'm very sorry that I don't speak the German accent English, but I can do that as well if you like. However, I think we'd rather keep it with proper English so that everybody can understand this, semi-proper English, I'm still a foreigner. If you don't have this attractive lifestyle, or if it's only based on learning how to flirt with people, then your whole house is built on one pole. The houses in Amsterdam are built on poles. But surely there's more than one pole every single house is built on. What if the one pole breaks away? I can tell you what, your house, which is your life, which is you, it's gonna be like collapsing. And then you need some real help. For me, right now I go to the gym a few times a week because I wanna practice for playing American football again. I've played tennis a lot, I've played, well, in America, you call it soccer, we prefer the word football here. You know, that kickball game of which the World Cup is now starting. And I've played that for a lot, tennis, football, American football. I like going to art exhibitions. I have a lot of friends who are into creative things. I have friends who are DJs, I love listening to their music, I love hanging out with them and speaking about this too with them, learning also from them. I like hanging out with my friends, not only to go and approach girls, but also just to sometimes have a drink together or to just spend the time watching a nice movie together that we both enjoy. You should have, it's not everything by far, but the point I really wanna make is that the house at the canal in Amsterdam, which is your life, should not be built on one or two poles, but on a bit more than that. Don't make it too many because otherwise you do a lot, but you don't do anything right. But find the balance of the things you can explore and the things you can do. You know, follow a study you like, have a job you like. I love my job, I jump out of bed every morning and I put my suit and my tie on. I know you can't imagine that right now, but then I run to work because I like it. I have exactly the job that I wanna have right now. This is also one of the poles that my house is built on. And this attractive lifestyle is the foundation. In the slides that you can download, if you send me the email, there will be a little triangle and the foundation will be attractive lifestyle. If you don't have that, whoop, house breaks down, life breaks down. Then it's gonna be attractive presence. This is something you can somewhat learn as well. However, it needs to be also based on an attractive lifestyle. Otherwise, people are going to notice that it's not really there at some point. Basically, the thought in the girl's head is going to be somehow this guy doesn't check out. There's something that's not real. It felt good in the beginning, but now there's something that's not real. So have an attractive lifestyle that will lead to an attractive presence. And all the stuff you're learning in the community is basically communication and subcommunication. Subcommunication is the next layer. And communication is only the tip of the iceberg. Some people used to say, fake it till you make it. I completely disagree. I believe you should have the ambition to really make it. And until you think you're there where you wanna be, you just display the ambition and the way you've already brought it forward, the distance that you've already went. You don't need to say, I went two kilometers already and I still have 50 more to go. No, but basically say, this is where I wanna be and this is what I've done to get there to yourself, right? I mean, I don't really don't agree with fake it till you make it. You can learn communication, you can learn subcommunication, but you have to develop an attractive presence. And it all needs to be based on having an attractive lifestyle. I hope that's understandable and clear to everybody. And when you see it in the slides, you'll get the nice little pyramid diagram, which is kind of like, in Dutch they say, beroepsteformatie. I think in English it would be like a sickness of the job you have, working as a consultant. I sort of have to make everything graphically accessible all the time to people. Strange analytical stuff and important facts. So that's what my slides are gonna be like and I hope you'll enjoy them. So let's get into the actual topic of what I wanna talk about today. So who knows a lot about qualification in this room? I'm just gonna sit down and give you guys the floor for a second. Who knows a lot about qualification or it used to be called male to female interest, A3 phase in the books. Qualification in other books as well. Who knows a lot about this? Nobody? Well, just qualifying a girl in an interaction. The old school way. We're just talking old school pickup right now for a minute. Old school pickup, yes. In the old school way, you give her an indicate that you like her, that she's probably your type or... Yeah. Or that it can be something good or it can be. Yeah, exactly. Just qualify her. That's exactly the explanation of what qualification is in a way. I would like to add a few things to this. However, there are different ways you can do this. You can qualify somebody directly, indirectly, physically, verbally. And you can even have large qualifiers, medium qualifiers, and just really small qualifiers that are really light and enjoyable. So what we're gonna do today is I'm quickly gonna talk those through and then you will think about what your standards and other people are, especially in the girls you meet. And you will apply this with the old school methodological stuff in a way, but based on you. You know what? You're making flirting authentic. You're not blabbing the stuff that other people have in their books anymore. No, it actually comes from you, from your heart, from your core, really. So indirect qualification. It's a really easy one. For example, one of my standards is that I like to spend time with creative people. I'm indirectly qualifying all of you right now. Basically, indirect qualification is a statement that I generally make about myself, about my own lifestyle. It would be something, in an interaction it would be something like, you know, I really like to spend my time with creative people. It just gives me so many new insights all the time. It just makes my life richer. What do you think is going to happen after this? What do you think the answer is going to be? Nobody? I can tell you what the answer is if the girl has some sort of a creative passion, which a lot of girls have and fairly enough a lot of guys, hopefully. It's going to be like, yeah, I completely understand this, you know, I like painting pictures, usually Aquarelle type of pictures or whatever oil paintings, it doesn't matter, or I'm a graphic designer and that's sort of the creative work that I do. I mean, we have photographers here as well and I like to also spend my time with creative people and I sort of, you know, I enjoy the vibe that we're bringing to the table with each other. Well, qualified. You tell the girl, you've just told the girl indirectly that you like her because she is creative. You don't have to do the old school models of, oh my God, are you French? No. You actually have your own standards for yourself and for other people and you can apply those to every single interaction. It's not a problem, you just need to be clear of who you are and what you want. Directly is, you wouldn't talk about yourself but you would ask the girl. Tell me, noticing from your outfit, I mean, you have a flower in your hair over there and I really like the top. It's kind of like graphically funny. It looks like there are some Egyptian hieroglyphics on there. It's really a nice top. I mean, you must have a creative profession. Right? You're a journalist. Whoop, that's pretty creative. I mean, that was a bit fake right now because I knew she was a journalist but basically if you just keep your eyes and your senses open, you can see these things. Right? There are other things like adventurous. You can usually, in a conversation, people in Europe like to travel the world a little bit or quite a lot lately. In a conversation, inevitably it will come up like, yeah, when I traveled South America for four months, awesome, you traveled South America. It's just, you seem to be a really free spirit and you seem to be quite adventurous to just go there on your own and be backpacking there. If you like adventurous people, you've just directly qualified an adventurous girl and you've basically told her, I like you because you are adventurous. Physical qualification. You don't need words for everything. I'm just gonna tell you a little story how I once have been physically qualified by a girl and then it hit me. We're having a conversation at roughly three in the morning in the middle of the week and yes, I did have to work the next day and it was a tough day at work because we were having a few gin and tonics as well. However, what happened was we were talking about sex and specifically, we were talking about having or not having pubic hair. So the girl basically said, if I give oral sex to a guy, I basically have to breathe through my nose the whole time. So it's kind of annoying if he has pubic hair. And my direct answer to this was, you know what? If I give a girl oral sex and I do it, well, I also breathe through my nose most of the time. You know what she did? She just grabbed my head and gave me a kiss on my cheek. That is a physical way of qualifying me. Understood? You can do this as well. When you meet a girl and she says something that is just purely awesome to you, you're just like, ah, this is so nice. Whoop, give her a hug. You know, just let yourself free of the thinking, oh my God, I can't give her a hug right now because then she thinks that I'm threatening physically. No, she just said something awesome and you're displaying without any words that you exactly like the characteristic that she just showed. This doesn't need to be about anything sexual. This can be like a shared experience that you also have or the traveling or something else. Or when she said like, yeah, I used to have a good friend and I don't want to be friends with her anymore because she lied to me too much. You'd say, yeah, I completely understand, you know? You just share something. This is a way of physically qualifying. There are large hoops, there are small hoops and there are medium hoops. Something talking about being fun or being creative, that's something you can easily do at a bar and find shared ground on this. However, religion, politics is pretty large and might come later. Should come definitely later. It's definitely not a topic for the bar. And you can just assume for it, you can just, if you think about it critically yourself, I don't want to give you all the information, I just want to make you think today. If you think about this critically yourself, you can find out what is small, medium and large. It's not a problem. I've just told you the extremes and you can fill out the scale in between for yourself because it's different for everybody. And guess what? If something that you think is small is really large for her, do you think you're ever gonna get along really well on the long term? No, because you have a fundamentally different view of what's okay in life and what's not okay in life already or okay to talk about right away. You know what? Talk about some things that she thinks you shouldn't talk about right away. She's gonna get annoyed by you pulling up these conversational topics around her friends all the time. And you know what this really does? Actually, what this qualification thing really does is it helps you, it helps you to get an entrance towards building a real emotional connection. Let's just come back, let me just sit down. Has anybody traveled for a few months? Would you like to come up here actually? Frederick, nice to be here. Have a seat. Do you want some water or anything like that? Can somebody be a gentleman in this room and get the girl a glass? We have water here. Oh, Jeffrey, don't worry, it's coming. Thank you, William. Let me just fill this up for you. So you're thinking right now that I'm sort of in old school ways you would say, oh, you're putting her on a footstep by doing stuff for her. No, I'm just being a well raised individual at the moment. I'm accommodating somebody that's taken a big step. So where have you been traveling? Well, funny you should actually say you went traveling, talking about someone that went traveling around South America for a few months because that's where I went. Cool, I've really never been to South America, but when I was 16, I lived in North America, Portland, Oregon for a year and went to high school there. And I've also lived in Canada for half a year. I really enjoy just being at new places. Was that the same for you in South America? Yeah, definitely, yeah. It's just a bit of a whirlwind trip, but yeah. Yeah, exactly. And how would it be if a guy and you in a bar, a guy who you just met, within like five, 10 minutes, find out that you have this shared ground together? Could you not talk about this for hours together? Yeah, definitely. Really like the type of experiences you made there? Yeah, yeah. And how cool that was just so you know. Nice things that you have in common that you've learned from that same experience that you've had. Exactly, what's like one of the biggest things that you learned in being in South America? Hiding your wallet. Each day as it comes and be happy in the now. That's what I learned from being in South America. I didn't learn this through traveling, but I really learned that through other things. Like when I used to be at university, I was quite stressed out about a few subjects. And I did really bad in the first year. And then I was just like, all right, you know, I know this is gonna be fine. I'm just gonna take every day as it is and do the work I need to do. And woof, my grades went up like that. But again, now we have another shared experience as being in the now and, you know, just taking the days as they come. Still having long-term goals, maybe. But just actually living as that day happens. Breaking it down from an insurmountable into steps. I really like the fact that you travel in South America. And I also like the fact that you're, you know, about being in the present moment. I think that's really cool about you. Thank you very much for being up here. Give me a hug. Can I take my water with me? Of course, it's yours. I mean, come on. Thank you. And if you just hand the microphone back to the guy back there. Thank you, give her a hand. So this was kind of a normal conversation, right? But she knows exactly why I like her right now. Because she's an adventurous person that's open to new experiences. And also that she likes living in the present moment and actually enjoying the days as they come. So this is what I call natural qualification, right? There used to be methods for this and people used to learn scripts to do this. No, I think you should know what you like in yourself and what you like in others. And you know, practice this in your conversations really. So why are we doing all of this? What's the reason behind qualifying a girl? I'm going back to a methodological style right now because how I teach usually is I help guys to methodologically become naturally attractive. I know that's quite, you know, for some people that's, bluh, flash. I don't think so. I think when you're a bit analytical, which I am for the job that I have to do, I have to be, you can find out how to, you know, give people little exercises or give people, help people to just, help actually people to discover different mindsets to, you know, find these things out for themselves. So why would we do qualification? Why would we have standards and actually exercise them? That's how I like to call it. Why do you think so? If you know yourself, I know you. Exactly, if you know yourself and you know what you want, you want to point yourself into the proper direction because you know what will make you happy and you will achieve it through that. That's what you mean, right? Thank you. It's orientation. Yeah, exactly, orientation, thanks a lot. This is very philosophical and that's what I think is exactly the right basis to touch upon. But I also want to give you guys a little practical reason because you think there's this guy in his jacket and he's just talking philosophical stuff that really I cannot apply when I go out at night. Let me tell you why you should apply it when you go out at night. It's actually very, very easy, the reason. You're the fun bar guy. Well, guess what? She'll meet another fun bar guy in 10 minutes. And definitely next weekend, another few fun bar guys. So you got your number close. You got your phone number. Well, you know what? Guess what? She's maybe not even gonna pick up because you haven't been a real person. She's just like, oh, this is just some fun guy who's been teasing a little bit and who's making a few jokes and I really enjoyed myself with him. But I really don't have any idea why he's calling me because we're not at the bar in the moment. It's not the situation. However, if you displayed yourself as a real guy with real interests, and this can be done in a short three to five minute conversation like we've seen right now, then she knows that you share something and then she will pick up the phone. You know what's the worst thing that can happen actually and this happened to me a few times. When I wasn't into this, this was the reason that I actually started getting into this topic of having standards or back then qualification, right? Natural qualification as I now like to call it. The reason was that I sometimes got a phone number and I got a six instead of a nine in the phone number or nine instead of a six. I can tell you one thing for sure. This does not lead to a 69 in the end. This does lead to Harry picking up the phone when you try to call Sally. Not very nice, you know? You think like, I'm gonna call her right now. Yes, I know exactly what I do. I remember her sweet voice, you know? And she's gonna pick up the phone. You're like, this is Harry, what's up? Whoa, what did I do, you know? Or she might just not pick up at all and she gave you the right phone number. But in the end, if you don't display yourself or if you are not are a real guy and you show that with real interests, real activities and real standards in life, you will either get the wrong phone number or she's not gonna pick up unless you're like a mixture of George Clooney and Brad Pitt and you have Albert Einstein intelligence, which if I look into the mirror, nah, not really. Not really. So we know now a bit more about why should we do this? Let me just see if I don't forget anything because like I said, I'm not that smart to remember an entire poem and I just wanna make sure to give you guys all the information here. Yeah, we've had it. In pickup terms, you would call this reducing flake, bringing the interaction further, having an entry into comfort and being able to build an emotional connection. This is what it relates to in the stuff that you've read before. But again, I'm in favor of actually naturalizing this to your own world, to have standards for you and the world you're in. So this brings us to the natural view. In my opinion, natural qualification is really about knowing yourself as well as getting to know the other person, both in depth and in breath in a pleasant way. It's a way of screening potential partners, may it be a one night stand, may it be a lifelong relationship. There are different things that you look for when you want different things. But it's basically a way of screening people in a light and enjoyable way. A lot of my interactions, not all of them, I talk to a girl and basically I go up to a girl, it's exactly what Vince said earlier, this was awesome. It's like, wow, cool, let's see what she's like. That's been my mindset. That's how I go up to a girl. And if it doesn't fit what I have in my standards, then at some point in the conversation, because I said, oh, she's cool, let's see what she's like, exactly what you said, exactly. And then basically at some point in the conversation, I will say, well, it's been really nice meeting you, it's been really nice talking to you. Have a really good night and I'm just gonna go back chill with my friends because I'm actually out with them and I haven't seen them for a while, but it's been really nice talking to you. I'm not gonna say, you are not matching my standards, get away now. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, absolutely not. I don't wanna ruin anybody's day or night, but I don't wanna ruin mine either by spending time with somebody that I'm essentially not gonna be able to connect with. So I'm telling that I have a really nice and fun conversation and then I'm just gonna go back to my friends and I maybe see you later for a drink or so. But definitely not connect outside of that bar. That's something that I will not do. So have you guys understood where the match between those things is? Yeah? Can somebody maybe grab a microphone and tell me where the match is? The match between old school qualification techniques and a natural qualification mindset of having standards for yourself and in your life. Now how do they fit together? How can you bring this together? Because you can talk about having standards and all this kind of stuff, but if you don't really bring it into practice, it's not gonna help you or anybody else. What I usually do at this point is I do the following. Unfortunately, we don't have a visual aid here because I didn't wanna ruin the camera pictures. What I do at some point is, when I teach this, is I put people into a trance. This is one of my newest passions, trance learning, trance hypnosis, fast inductions, deep inductions, based on NLP as well. This is one of my newer passions in life. Actually learning, if you asked me five years ago, mumbo jumbo, you know? No, I thought about it critically again. And now I actually enjoy learning about this. So normally what I do at this moment, however I don't think it's right without the visual aid in front, is that I put the room into a very light trance. And I help everybody to actually realize the type of standards that they have. So what we're gonna do instead right now, first of all, this is not gonna go to waste. I will record this and I will make it available on the 21 Convention website if possible, if not against an email to Info at Natural Qualification and I will make it available to you. The visuals and the spoken trance. Absolutely no problem for free. So I just wanna collect a few standards. I just want you guys to really, we're gonna take a break now for three minutes. And I don't want anybody to get up out of this room. I want you guys to sit down and close your eyes and critically think, actually creatively think, actually, no, passionately think. What are the things that you have in other people around you? Three minutes as of now. Alex, whenever you're ready. All right, eyes open everybody. And I just want you guys, I just want the microphone to be passed around and a few guys that really feel like they need to scream something into the world. I want them to scream at least one good standard that they have, one for yourself and one for other people that you meet. It doesn't matter if it's men or women, it really doesn't matter because your world should be a world where you spend your time with people who correspond to what you want because you also correspond to what they want, something where you can connect with people. You have to spend so much time maybe at work with people you don't like. Why would you spend your free time with people you don't like? So what's one of your standards? I value adventure for myself and I value humility in others. Adventure and humility. Adventure for yourself, humility in other people. Please pass on the microphone to the next person who wants to say something. For my friends, I don't have any qualifications because I accept them who they are. For women, I have like creative, ambitious, and I'm not told, well, I can go on. You've just said something really interesting. You've just expressed a big standard that you hold yourself to which is namely acceptance. Yes. Have you ever heard of the fact that 90% of a relationship is acceptance and 10% is change? Should be able to know what you can accept and you know, because otherwise you'll be getting into the wrong relationships but this is really awesome. Just pass on the microphone. Thank you very much. The one thing I find important is for a woman that she will be able to have a life of her own. That's something I find very important. You want an independent woman? Yes. That's very good. That's very clean. Yeah. And that's then, of course, for myself. So I can also have my life for my own. Yeah. Enjoy the things she do together. And you know what? You should build into your conversations with girls. I'm just going to stick with you for a moment if you don't mind. What you should, I mean, if you want to come up here, it's all right. If not, it's also all right. Do you want to come up here? No problem. Come up here. Join me. Give them a big hand. Hi, Fredrik. Nice meeting you. Have a seat. So you really like independent women? Yes, but it has to do with a past relationship where that was the fact that it's a learning point for me. Let me give you another little learning point of how you can actually find out if a woman is attractive for you, because that's something that's really important to you, her being independent. I mean, for example, if she throws you a bait and says like, oh, I'm basically, I've always worked myself through college, through university, you can say this is really nice because it shows that you don't rely on your parents' wallet. It shows that you are independent of your parents and I really like that in you. What if she doesn't say that? Find a positive way to interact on that and maybe decide that person's not for you. Yeah, well, you can just also make an indirect qualification, which again brings us to naturalizing something that's been methodologically explained. You can just say, I really love to spend my time with people who stand on their own two feet and who are sort of not relying on others for everything but who are able to create their own life and make it happen for themselves. You don't need to make everything happen for yourself, but I like people who've done something themselves for themselves, who've come up for themselves. If she has done something like this, the next minute she'll probably tell you what. And then you say, oh, this is really awesome. That shows that you're a really independent woman and I really value this in you. And what are you gonna do then? Are you gonna go on a little bit? You're gonna give her a hug. You're gonna say, that's really awesome, come here. That's really nice. So now you've done, started with an indirect qualification. You've led that into a direct qualification about her and in the end you rounded it off with a physical qualifier. Do you think the woman now knows why you like her? Yeah. Yeah. It's pretty obvious. And so she will pick up the phone. Thank you very much. Give this guy a hand. Thank you. Thanks. Let's put the microphone back to him. So it's really important that you guys spend some time figuring this out. And the trends that you can get when you write me an email will maybe help you. Well, it might not help, might it be the right thing for everybody? Not everybody's into this. But definitely spend at least time thinking about it. So what is this all good for? Qualification or natural qualification or whatever you wanna call it. What are the goals of this? Well, in my opinion, there are three goals. Because you've been that awesome guy before who has not been, you know, bowing to her like many of the other guys. You haven't said to her, oh, what's your name? Where are you from? You've been positively different. You know what? Let me break some news to you. Women have self-esteem issues too. I know this. I work with women a lot. I love coaching women. Self-esteem is one of their biggest issues. I think I'm ugly. How many times have I heard that from a woman that's actually been on a modeling poster? This is a bit physically-based, but there are also character-based things. I feel like I don't reach anything in life. Somebody who's just busy with their second master's degree which they've done at the same time as the other and they're about to finish it off and do it well. Now, still, you know, the proof is obvious, but still they don't get it for themselves. And they think they're not worth this awesome guy that they just met. But by telling them what you like about them, you are communicating that you are available to them. Yeah? You are, you know, you're not the easy guy in the world who just will be like, hey, what's your name? Can I get your drink, blah, blah, blah. No, you're positively different, but you are available. You're hard to get, but she can get you. So you've communicated availability. It also leads to her compliance. She will comply with you right more. When you say, oh, let's go over there and get a drink. She's actually not gonna say, nah, I'm just gonna stick with my friends because she knows that you're a genuine guy who genuinely likes her and who just wants to have a drink with her over there without, you know, whatever, putting her into a dark space or anything like this. She will comply with you better. She actually lets you lead her. She actually lets you be the masculine man around her that you wanna be. You know what it also leads to? It also leads to her investing more into the interaction. If you meet somebody and it's a really awkward, annoying person or somebody who you absolutely not have a connection with, would you introduce him or her to your friends? Absolutely not. Because you only wanna introduce the people to your friends that you really like and that you feel really like you. Or at least you have a hunch of that happening, at least. You're not gonna introduce some random stranger who is going to make you look bad in front of your friends or where your friends think, why the hell is he or she introducing her or him to me? Don't wanna hang out with this person. I thought my friend didn't wanna hang out with them either. But when she knows, and this also goes for the women, when he knows why, why you like her or why you might be able to develop a good connection with her, then she will do this or he will do this as well. And this is again another thing that I wanna talk about. This is the glue, ladies and gentlemen. Natural qualification is the glue. You're not only the attractive bar guy, but you actually glue this together with comfort, as they call it. You find an entry into this. This glues the whole interaction together. How can you ever build a connection on something that you don't really believe in? Remember what I said in the beginning? Ah, this guy somehow doesn't check out. There's something fake about him. This is strange. Well, this is not gonna happen if it's real. If you really have standards and you practice and exercise them, you have glue. You have an entry level, an entry into really building that solid emotional connection. Or if you wanna have a one-night stand, that's sexual connection. You know, I used to be into one-night stands. And what I usually would look for is the girl who'd be dancing in the club like nothing would matter to her. She'd be completely in her own world, you know? And I just come up to her like, hey, I just gotta tell you, the way you're dancing is really cool because you know why? Because it shows you have absolute inner freedom. You don't care what other people think of you. You just do exactly what you want in this really moment. And I like people who have a lot of inner freedom. Basically, I've just given her permission to ditch all social conditioning. And if I want her to, go home with me tonight if she wants that too. But I've basically given her the permission to be free. Or actually, she's given that permission to herself. I've just reminded her that she's given it to her, to herself. This is also sexual qualification. A small hoop in sexual qualification. The large hoop can maybe be, oh, you're very sexy. You know, that's also fine. I like to always start small and then quickly go further. Because if it's not for me, then I can also get out small. So right now, I want to give you guys a little warning. Do not ever use the things that we just talked about as an excuse. Oh no, she's not from my standards. I'm just not even going to talk to her. Oh no, she doesn't fit my standards. I'm just going to go away. I'm not going to like try to bring this further. Do never ever use this as such an excuse. Be clear of what you want and exercise this. But don't use it as a basis for making excuses. There are some things that you will only find out in the long term, like real deep intelligence. If that's something you value, you know what? I have to be intelligent from Monday to Friday. I like to be a bit stupid at the bar at times. Do you think I'm still intelligent though? Yes, I am, but I might not always show it at the bar. I might just go jump and dance, jump up on the table and start dancing on the table and people might think that's stupid. Well, whatever they think, I don't care. I'm intelligent during the week for 50 to 70 hours. I sometimes just like to be stupid to enjoy myself, of course, without harming others. So what I'm really saying is don't use this as an excuse because the first picture you're getting might not be the final one. The end of the movie is not displayed in the beginning, unless in certain arty movies which are quite nice at times. So we know now what the goals of qualification are and we kind of know how you can apply this to your life. I've basically talked to you about the different techniques of indirect qualification, direct qualification, physical qualification, small, large, medium hoops, having standards in yourself and in others and you basically can apply those old school techniques to your actual standards. You can still use this stuff and you know, bring it into practice really. So isn't this awesome? Isn't this like a method for flirting naturally? That's what I like, you know? Because I'm a very analytical guy. I don't really learn through, oh yeah, just be in the moment and go. I'll question the moment, but if I know why and how, then I can enjoy the moment. So think about this critically, develop your own standards. Again, check out the website of the 21 convention. It might be available through this. If not, definitely send me an email to info at naturalqualification.com. I will send you the slides with my explanations and I will make the trans available to you, the light trans. I will speak it in and I will supply the right pictures beforehand before you close your eyes so that you can actually find out what your standards in your partners are. And then you can bring them into practice and maybe you'll fail a couple of times. Maybe you've come up with something that's not really your standard, which brings us back to the point of thinking critically again. Not everything that you just put down is always set in stone forever. Be able to reevaluate yourself from time to time and the things you do. You know, guys, when we talk about, because the way I teach is basically attraction, qualification, comfort, seduction, old school way, but I help people to naturalize this. And I've just taught you guys a little bit about naturalizing qualification. The reason why I pick qualification is because it's the most overlooked and undervalued topic, or formerly called a phase in a model, in this whole flirting with women thing, or also for women flirting with guys. It's one of the most overlooked and undervalued things. And I've also told you guys why. Remember the three goals? Increasing her compliance, helping her to invest and communicating that you're available. Don't you think that's important when you flirt with somebody? Well, I think that's very important. And you know what you're actually doing when you are out at the bar and you're flirting? I want to talk about my parents for a while. Mom, dad, love you. Well, my parents, my parents are married for more than 30 years. I'm 28 right now. So they're married for 33 years, I believe. I don't want to pick up a number right now because it might be wrong, but definitely more than 30 years. And mostly my parents, if I go back to old school terms, mostly my parents are in comfort with each other. But you know what? Sometimes my mom will throw a shit test at my dad by saying, oh, don't put this shirt on. You know what my dad will do? Ah, come on. You see? You see where I'm getting at? Sometimes my mom will be like, oh, I'm not really happy with the way I play tennis today. And my dad's gonna be like, if you played awesome tennis today, the other girl was maybe a bit stronger than you on the court, but you practice all the time and you've won a lot of tournaments, you are a good tennis player. He qualifies her. Sometimes my dad will tease my mom. He builds attraction with her. So do you know where I'm getting at? Do you understand this? Where I'm getting at is what we're doing at a bar is creating a relationship in a nutshell. And the relationship will always be like this. Just the balance will shift. In the beginning you'll maybe be a bit more in attraction and qualification, a bit less in comfort. And when you're together for 30 years, you're gonna be 90% in comfort and the other 10% are gonna divide between attraction and qualification. And hopefully every night you're gonna be still in seduction. Because in the end, sexual attraction is one of the very, very big reasons why you would approach a stranger from the other gender. Unless you have lost your way in a foreign town, like I did in the last couple of days a few times. Or unless you wanna know what time of the day it is or other things. But if you do this in a bar, generally it's, oh, she's sexually attractive. She looks kinda cool. Let's see what she's about. But either consciously or subconsciously you are sexually attracted. So that is also a basis. But again, what we're doing here in those 10, 15, 20, 30 minutes at a bar is we're creating a relationship, I'm forming a heart, in a nutshell. This is something that you should really think about. How do you want your relationship to be later on? That's the kinda nutshell you should build at the bar. Don't be the dude who just rehearses things and blabs them out. You know, it might be useful to write some stuff down for yourself. Some typical teasing things or some themes you would like to talk about when you're in a comfort type of conversation. The type of themes you'd like to talk about. If you're a funny guy, maybe a couple of teasers that you usually do. So when you actually go, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah. When your mind goes blank, like my mouth goes right now because I haven't had enough water for the last 10 minutes. Yeah, I've been in the sun a lot. Basically, when your mind goes blank, make sure you have those little things that you can always pull out. But make sure they're based on you and not on what somebody else has done before. It's kinda like learning how to ride a bicycle and when you're still in the learning phase and you haven't done it for a while, it might be a good idea to put the side wheels on for a bit again. Or at least have the side wheels with you so that you can always take them out of your pocket and put them on. But again, if your bicycle is this large and your side wheels are this small or the other way around, it's not gonna fit and you're still gonna fall over. So make sure it's based on yourself. Build nice relationships in a nutshell. Enjoy yourself and enjoy the people you are meeting. Have standards in your life, both for yourself and others. The standards you have in others actually reflect the standards you hold yourself onto. For example, I really love feminine women. Taking a really hard standard right now. Does this mean I wanna be a feminine guy? No, this is a polar standard. This means I want to be a very masculine guy which I think I am, which I've worked towards becoming. However, personally I like creative writing and I like spending my time with creative people. A lot of my ex-girlfriends are graphic designers or are into music. So basically what I look for in other people reflects the things I want to have in myself and the stuff I want to go for in life. Think about this when you've spent the time critically thinking about your standards or when you've gone through the little trance that you've figured out a few standards, how this reflects onto your personality and how you can actually put this into practice. And be intelligent about it. Some things are polar, some things are not. Meet nice people, create really nice relationships in a nutshell. You know, most of all, enjoy yourself in life. You know, go somewhere, get something out of your life. If you only live once, unless you're reborn of course, but how usually reborn people don't remember the last life. It's maybe one in a thousand or a million who does. I don't remember any of my last lives so I really have to take care of enjoying this one. If you want any more info of, you know, the place I currently work for is called Titan Seduction. It's titanseduction.com. Website is not really up at the moment because we're redoing it. If you need information on this very topic, please write an info at naturalqualification.com. Then I exactly know where you're coming from and what you're asking about. General emails are also welcome at that address. You know, get in touch with me. I'm usually able, if I have time, I'll usually give you time of the day as well. So thank you very much. My name's Frederick and I answer any questions right now. We got like eight minutes for questions, right? Yeah, a few minutes. A few minutes, okay. You know, let's take maybe three questions. And then you can like, then you can ask me like all the other questions that you don't want to ask right now or that you just don't have on your mind right now. Any of those I will take outside. So I'm here until Sunday. Melvin, go. Yeah. My first question is something wasn't really clear. You were talking about three goals. One was increasing compliance and the other two, I forgot, interesting. Communicating your availability. Yeah. And helping her to also invest into the conversation, not being the guy that performs for her, but actually increasing her investment into it, into you, not you as a person, but the both of you together. And the question following that was, would you consider that being, what team would it be? Like would it be the total of how you talk to women or something or is it what revolves around qualification? This is purely around qualification. However, everything here, communicating your availability, making her able and enabling her to invest into the interaction into the relationship that you two are creating. And also helping her to comply with you are things that are important for creating these relationships. First in a nutshell and then at large. So it's specific but important to the whole picture. Okay. Does that answer your question? A little bit because I don't really see the difference between investing and compliance. Okay. Investing is basically when she brings stuff in, right? When she says, hey, you know, you should really go and meet my friends. You would really like my friends. Compliance is something that comes from, in compliance, she positively reacts to something that you lead her towards. Okay. So one's based from her side and the other one is her not rejecting what comes from you. Does that answer it? Yeah, it does answer it. Awesome, next question. Do we have any more? If you don't wanna, there's one in the back. If you don't wanna ask them right now, like I said, you can ask them anytime. Hi, Frederick. I'm curious on this subject of compliance, like I've noticed that, like you talked about one of the pit files guys can get into with qualification where they kind of use it as an excuse to avoid a lot of girls. I've also seen guys kind of take the opposite tack and think that the compliance means that they can almost use their qualifiers as kind of like a bully tactic, right? That they can force this girl that they're talking to if they ask enough qualifiers that they can force her to qualify for them, even though, you know, time after time, she's turning out to be not exactly what they're looking for, but that they'll just keep pushing and pushing, hoping that they can lead her to be someone she's really not ever going to become. So I was just wondering if you have methods that you use to kind of help guys overcome that. Yeah, when I talked about the thing when I said in the beginning, when girls at some point think when you fake it or when you are faking stuff and they're like, this guy doesn't really check out. You know, guess what guys? You have the permission to do that too. Like I said, these qualification things lead towards being able to have a deeper conversation and exploring topics deeper. And it's like, oh yeah, I'm a very adventurous person and you start talking about the adventurous things that you've done and you'd sort of like ask you, so what have you been doing? And there's nothing coming out besides sitting in her room and, you know, polishing her nails. Then you know that whatever statement she made didn't check out. Don't just be a qualification machine gun. Use things on purpose and make them lead the interaction between the two of you further. And if it's fake, that's the point when you will notice. At some point she can't uphold it anymore. Does that answer your question? Thank you. Is there any more? Are there any more questions? We can take one final one. One in the front. So if I understand you correctly, you know, you have to balance your need for honesty. We didn't need to qualify her. You have to be a little bit creative in winging out the positives that you see in her that are consistent to what you look for. Yes, exactly. That's completely right. That was a statement. And you understood it right. I guess I'm wondering because, you know, a lot of times you feel pressured to give her a compliment. And you don't have to be dishonest. You don't want to be dishonest. No, no, no, no. I never want to be dishonest. And I never feel pressured at the bar either because I'm there to enjoy myself. I used to feel pressured at the bar. I used to start sweating. Holy, I have to approach this girl right now. But basically when me and her talked, she talked about that she really likes enjoying the moment and taking it day by day. And that's something that I really learned that helped me not to feel pressured in these situations anymore. And I will never, I will never, ever qualify a girl on something that I really don't care about because then I will not check out in the end when we get into the deeper conversation. Do you think you would always find something to qualify a girl for that you look for? Yeah, definitely. Because I have certain standards that are very light, like being fun, being creative. Those are very light standards. Or also being active, having an active lifestyle. You know, those are three different things that are all important to me. And again, don't use it as an excuse. Don't hook off a list. If she doesn't have all three, she's out of the picture. No way, Jose. You know, nobody is ever fully perfect for you. But people are very, very good for you. And you can find this out this way. Don't use it as an excuse, but make sure that you know what you want and make sure that that's what you're going for. Does that answer your question? Thank you. All right, I think we're done, guys. Thanks a lot.