 Everybody that you love will die. Today, we're going to be talking about death. One of the most motivating things in the world to talk about. We're going to talk about the death of everyone that you know that's around you and how to cope with death. We're also going to talk about your own death and how to become more okay with it, right? And the interesting thing about death is that it is guaranteed. It will happen no matter what. And we really need to learn that if it's going to happen, it's nothing we can get away from. We need to try to become as okay with it as we possibly can because everybody that you love will die, right? Like it sounds morbid, but in reality, it's not that morbid. It's just fact and you will die. And so we're going to talk about both of those because I get a ton of messages, so many messages on Instagram from people and I read all the messages, right? Of they lost somebody and they don't know how to get past it, right? They lost a loved one. They just died of old age or they had something that happened to them that was tragic or there was a suicide or it was their grandparents or it was their parents. Some people, it was old age. Some people, it was young age and it was something that was tragic that happened. It's every type of thing that you could do. Some of them are overdoses. Every type of death you could think of, I've been sent messages about it and when I see something that comes through many, many, many, many times in my Instagram messages, I go, huh, I should probably make an episode on this because this is clearly something people want to learn about. So for those of you guys that want to, you know, message me and give me some form of request of what I should do an episode on message me on Instagram. That's where I usually talk to people. Rob dial jrbdialjr. That's how I communicate and talk with people. But when we're going into death and we're talking about death, I've seen it come up many, many times and people are struggling all of the time with how do they cope with it? You know, someone that they love, they won't expect them to die. It happened. How do you work through the first thing that I think is important is before anybody dies. At this moment, you have to learn to start becoming more okay with it because it's going to happen for everybody. Right? To you, to your loved ones, to everyone. And that's not morbid. It's just a fact. So first, let's dive into the death of someone that you know before we talk about your own death. We'll talk about both when we'll dive into them and I'm going to make it as light as possible because it's going to happen. Why would I want to make it depressing? Right? So I'll talk about how, you know, in my instance of how I've had some relations with death, you know, up into my first 14 years, I never knew one person that died. Maybe some older person that I didn't really know that was in my family, like a distant cousin or distant anorocle or whatever it was. But no one that was, I was really close to had passed away in my first 14 years. Then when I was 15, my dad died unexpectedly. He was an alcoholic. We weren't expecting him to die. He did. We were flying up to go see him from Florida to Tennessee and we were getting on the, about to get on the plane to go see him because he was unconscious and we got the message that he had passed away. I was in, you know, he was the first dead body I'd ever seen and that left a really big imprint on my mind. Holy s***, this is going to end like this as much if you've ever been to a funeral of someone that you know and that you're close to, it feels like a joke. It feels like they're about to pop up and be like, Hey, just kidding. No, no, no, just joking. I'm, let's go hang out. Right. And it never happens. And so it's the, it's that realization of like, Oh, wow. This is going to happen to everyone that I know and this is going to happen to me as well. I would say that moment changed my life as far as the urgency that I bring to every single thing that I do and I'll talk more about that later. Right. I was also in the room about three or four years ago when my grandfather passed away. Right. I was in the room in hospice. There it's a crazy experience to be in the room when someone passes away. Right. I was there. I was also there when my mom and her three sisters told my grandmother that her husband of 70 years had passed away. Right. That's a whole other thing to see is to see somebody process that in real time. Right. I've had friends die from car accidents. I've had friends die from overdoses. I've had friends die from suicides. I've had friends that have been murdered. I've seen quite a few different sides of death and I don't know if I just gave you like my qualifications for talking about death but I guess I just did. But I'm going to tell you what I have learned through the process being somebody who is obsessed with mindset obsessed with trying to get better. And the first thing is there's always a grieving process. Right. And one thing that I've noticed with people is they try to speed up the grieving process. Whatever the grieving process is the grieving process is don't try to speed it up. Don't try to not feel it. Don't try to keep yourself busy. That's one of the things that pisses me off the most is when somebody has somebody that they're dealing with the emotions of death and someone says we'll just keep yourself busy so you don't think about it. Yeah. That sounds like a really great way to just repress your emotions. You don't want to do that. Feel it as beautiful it is to experience the most beautiful amazing joyful loving parts of your life. The other emotions are also very beautiful and it's part of the human experience and if you can't allow yourself to experience the lowest of lows I promise you you actually won't be able to allow yourself to experience the highest of highs so allow yourself to feel it don't feel like you there's a right way to do it and a wrong way to do it. There is no right there is no wrong just experience it and see if you can enjoy this part of the human experience right. So I will say that and as far as grief and the way that it goes is one of the best ways I've heard it explains is kind of like waves right going out to the ocean you know in when you first have someone that you love that passes away it's like the waves are 100 feet tall and they're just crashing on you and crashing on you and crashing on you and you can barely come up for air that's like how it feels in the very beginning where it's like you're just getting swept at every single emotion and feeling and anger will come up and sadness will come up and fear will come up and you're just getting hit by which constantly rocked by these waves and then time starts to pass in the waves start to come a little bit less frequently but when they do come there's still 100 feet tall and they're still throw you upon the rocks and you try to get up and try to have some form of air to come up right and then you know as time goes on you tend to process and you know the waves will still come unexpectedly but instead of being 100 feet tall they might be 50 feet tall and they might get to 20 feet tall and 30 feet tall and sometimes they then after a while they come really unexpectedly could be a year two years down the road and it might be like a song that you hear that just hits you again and you can't help but be overcome with emotion or might be driving past a certain part of town and seeing a you know a gas station where you have a memory with that person and you just get hit again and there's nothing wrong with that right the human experience is a beautiful thing the highs are beautiful the lows are beautiful the worst things you can do is try to rush a grieving process or think that you're doing it right or think that you're doing it wrong one of the things that I always tell people if you want to help yourself if you love somebody that died right they're not going to come back like I can promise you that but one of the things you can do is you can help them live on in you and what do I mean by that this is something I do with my grandfather my grandfather was like the kindest person that I've ever met my entire life he was incredible to the point where like I'm finally at the point where I don't cry talking about him because he was just that incredible of a human being right and so when he passed away it was such a another monumental event in my life that I wrote down and this was a few years ago so I was at least you know emotionally intelligent enough to work myself through it because I had worked many clients through at this point in time not like when I was 15 and I had never had a client never really worked to myself at all right so I wrote down all the things that I loved about my grandfather unconditioned like literally the only person I know with unconditional love like no matter what he was going to help you out right he kindness and loving and joy didn't matter who you are what you believed in what you looked like didn't matter loved you either way so I wrote down all the things that I loved about him and the character traits that I respected most about him and then what I did was I went I want to wake up every single morning and meditate on how I can be more like this because if I fully respect somebody and who they are in the character traits they have wouldn't I want those character traits to also be inside of me and isn't that the best way the best way to actually keep that person alive after they have passed away so I recommend if you have somebody that's recently passed away or you have somebody passes away soon enough or even if they passed away in this past right down the two three four five things that you loved most about them and then wake up every single morning and take five minutes and pause and read those five things and close your eyes and try to get into your subconscious of I'm going to bring these aspects of this person into myself every single day if you do that every single day what you'll realize is you actually start to become the aspects of that person you love the most so that's the interesting thing about the grieving process and how to help you work through it another thing that will help you as well is to realize the difference between pain versus suffering and this is super important okay because pain is the pain that you feel in pain is inevitable you can't go through this life without some form of pain pain is inevitable you're going to have scars in this in any lifetime you're gonna have scars pain is inevitable suffering is optional what do I mean by that pain is somebody died in the emotions that you feel with that pain is the the feelings that you feel from the loss of someone suffering is the resistance to someone's death which then makes it even worse it is the unnecessary part of it right it's the thoughts of oh my gosh they were too young it's it shouldn't have been them it shouldn't have happened this way maybe what did I do wrong part of this is my fault I should have been been there for them I shouldn't have let them get in the car I shouldn't have let them do that thing and most of the time the suffering comes from not accepting right so there's the pain of the event that's going to happen you're gonna have pain it's part of being a human the suffering is not accepting it and wishing that it was different there is no other way that it could have happened because it didn't happen any other way it happened the way that it happened it could not have happened any other way why because it didn't you have to learn to accept the suffering comes when you are resisting the way that the world is there's nothing you can do about them it is in the past there's nothing you can do about anything in your past right the only thing that you can do something about is you so you have to learn to accept you cannot change except that that's just the way that the world is right another thing that I always tell myself that I heard from Ram Dass who is a spiritual teacher who passed away about a year and a half ago is something that I say every that I've noticed and I start to say to myself of the past year and a half when someone that I know passes away and what he says is that a soul does not leave this plane that we're in a second too soon or a second too late it happened exactly way that it's supposed to happen if you believe in God or the universe or fate or you know the quantum realm of all of this stuff that's happening you've got to believe that everything happens the way that it's supposed to right and I've just accepted I'm not in control I'm not in control when someone leaves this time I'm not in control of when I leave this it's going to happen the way it's supposed to happen a soul does not leave this plane a second too soon or a second too late just where it goes it worked out exactly as supposed to work out that was you know if you want to say that was their karmic predicament it could be in the way that you're reacting to it is also your karmic predicament too what's going on with that so you have to realize that death is going to happen but you can make it easier on yourself by instead of not accepting actually sitting down accepting and start figuring out what you love most about them and bringing that person into yourself and then being okay and not judging yourself for the grieving process and allowing things just to happen so that's the death of a loved one now bum bum bum let's talk about you dying because it's going to happen you're not going to be able to live to 500 years old you know there's all these people that are talking about longevity and living forever and putting yourself inside of a freezer until something I don't know what all that stuff is I'm not going to resist it's going to happen right it's going to happen and most people are terrified of it it's going to happen there's nothing you can do about it so you might as well figure out a way to become at least a little bit more okay with it right no matter how terrified you are of it it's still going to happen so you might as well accept that right but the way that I see death is I see death as a beautiful part of life right we're dying in every single second I am if you're watching me on video I am slowly decaying in front of you every single second as beautiful as that sounds right I'm decaying in front of you for those of you guys that are listening to me just in the podcast my voice is slowly deteriorating for you right but the beautiful thing about death in my opinion is death gives your life urgency right if you didn't have to die if you were immortal you'd always have tomorrow why do I need to go ahead and try to build this business why do I need to try to get into that relationship help the world make money have fun you know change other people's lives because there's always tomorrow but the beautiful thing about death is that there is not always tomorrow tomorrow is never guaranteed and so if you take life and look at it that way you realize that that should bring your life some urgency and urgency in a good way and if you deal with if you've ever heard of stoic philosophy there's a stoic phrase and stoics the beautiful thing about that the phrase that I heard around it not the original phrase I was going to tell you I'll tell you that in a second but a phrase I heard around stoicism is that stoicism doesn't doesn't take away human emotions it domesticates them it makes you understand the motions feel them and be able to work through them process in real time and one of the things that they say the phrase in stoicism is momentum mori momentum mori right which means remember that you're going to die and you may have heard me talk about this on the podcast before and this I've thought this way even before I ever heard the phrase you know momentum mori and I remember I was having a conversation with my mom not too long ago I was like mom just curious how often do you think of death and she's like oh I don't know maybe maybe once a week once every two weeks or so I was like okay and she could why why how often do you think of death I was like I don't know probably every few hours five times a day ten times a day and she's like really I was like yeah but not in the creepy way like I'm thinking about death I'm thinking about dead people or any that type of stuff for you know I can't wait till it happens like I wasn't thinking any of that type of stuff it's just like it's going to happen and if I think about the fact that it's going to happen it brings me urgency I always say that I don't really have any fears anymore except for one like I don't care what people think about I don't care about other people's opinions or judgments I don't care about failing I don't care about any of that stuff I've worked through it mostly I won't say I'm just completely relieved of it but it's basically mostly gone right the one fear that I really do have though is that I'm going to get to my deathbed in wish that I would have done something more to bring out my true potential for the world right the only thing worse than the pain of hard work is a pain of regret I do not want to regret anything when I die I want to get to my deathbed and be like damn that was fun you did everything you could kid you did it all you did everything you built the business you wanted to you had the family you wanted to have the kids you wanted to you impact the world that you were you wanted to all of that stuff and the reason why I do what I do and the reason why I push so much harder than a lot of other people that are in my industry because I'm gonna die and I pay attention that every single day like I think about it all of the time I'm very aware of it and it's a beautiful thing so I want to experience everything that there is in this world I want to experience all of the beautiful all of the the hard stuff I want to experience everything there is I want to bring out all of the potential that I feel that I have inside of myself and I know you all feel that you have some potential inside of you I want to release all of it to the world so therefore when I do get to that day when it will eventually happen I can go all right I'm ready I've done all that I can so when you can come to terms that everyone that you know is going to die and you are going to die as well and you can come to terms with it and see it as a beautiful thing and give it give it have it give you more beautiful things in life than negative things when you start thinking about that when death happens to see when someone else dies you can take that beautiful part of them and put it into yourself and you can look at your own death that will eventually happen and have it give you more urgency to get off the couch to get off to Instagram to do the things you want to to impact the world to impact people around you to bring out your potential to the world you realize that death is actually one of the most beautiful parts of life hey thanks so much for watching this video if you want to learn even more about master your mind click right here and watch this video as well stop it's not too late you have now woken up from the slumber that you're in don't go back to sleep don't go back to sleep