 Have you ever wondered what it takes to attract a high quality person in your life from a romantic perspective? Well, I want to lean into this conversation today because I have a confession and that confession is I will say that much of my content, particularly in YouTube, has been geared to focusing on what's wrong with the dating process today. I know many of you know I highlight the dysfunctionality of human beings, how the dating marketplace is rather dysfunctional with respects to our dating apps and swipe apps, certainly the objectification of men and women alike in the dating world, certainly an abuse that happens and certainly a dismissal of people that happens. And I recognize that I've drawn attention to that and at the same time I'm not spending enough time really focusing on how to set yourself apart from the others because the reality is is you know, I'm not suggesting that there isn't truth in what I just said and at the same time it isn't the absolute truth and for those who genuinely want a healthy happy relationship, well I want to invite you to approach the process from a different way. Now first and foremost it starts with our mindset and if every time we're walking down a street and we see a hole in the sidewalk and all we see are holes in the sidewalk and certainly that's what it can feel like, well, you're going to fall into those holes habitually. So one of the things I think it's important to invite into your life is a positive mindset about love and relationships. First and foremost setting up that there is a juicy delicious healthy happy relationship out there for you in this world. Let me repeat that. I want you to invite in that that exists. Instead of the defeatist, there's no good men out there. All men are commitment phobic. There are men who are liars and cheaters. The internet sucks for meeting people. You know, the narratives can go on and on and on and while there's validity to those narratives at the same time I want you to hold a vision for what you want. Now to help you with your mindset, I highly recommend checking out the book The Untethered Soul by Michael Singer and in the link below you can get a copy of all the books I recommend. Why do I recommend this book? And let me just say this, only read one chapter at any sitting. Do not read the entire book. Just simply read one chapter a day or listen to one chapter a day for the 19 days because it's 19 chapters and allow it to metabolize in your mindset. This has nothing to do with dating and relationships. It's all about shifting your perspective. So one is shift your perspective on your mindset as to what you can actually attract in your life. In addition, I invite everybody to do the work to be a good partner in your life. Many of us have adopted this belief that we're perfect and everyone else is flawed. Now I know that might sound a bit, you know, inaccurate. I think to some degree we all do that whether we like it or not. So one of the first things I've invited everyone to do or I'd like to use this technique is to begin a daily practice of inner work. Now what is inner work? Inner work is the recognition that we all have childhood wounds and traumas and adult traumas. Okay, and adult traumas can be divorce. It can be job loss. It could be an unhealthy relationship in our lives is to actually heal from those experiences. When we heal from those experiences and not that we ever fully heal when we're healing from those experiences, we have a greater chance for attracting somebody who's also done the work to heal from their past experiences. And everybody does healing differently. They don't have to do it the way you did it. When I wrote my book, What the Heck is Self-Love, Any Way, A Journey of Personal Development, Self-Help and Spiritual Work, the idea is it's an invitation to do the type of things I'm talking about. And by the way, at the end of the book, I just want to share with you, these are my recommended readings and studies and teachers and workshops to follow. You can heal your life by Louise Hay, the movie The Secret, the movie What the Belief, Return to Love by Marianne Williamson, The Four Agreements, even Unleash the Power by Tony Robbins. These are all great vehicles to doing the inner work to become a human that has victor consciousness instead of victim consciousness. I recognize that much of my content out there hyper-focuses on victim consciousness. And I want to begin to change that narrative. I want to invite you all to do the inner work so you can attract a high-quality person. Then the next piece of the puzzle, this technique, is to become really crystal clear on who is compatible with you. I can share with you, many of you out there have this 40,000-foot level of what you want, but at the same time, do you really have the concrete idea of who's really compatible with you? And at the same time, do you know the tools? Do you have the tools to vet for emotional maturity? Do you have the tools to vet for compatibility? If you don't, then schedule a discovery call with me to see if working with a coach is right for you. Because if you don't have the tools, what's the definition of insanity? Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. Now, the third piece, this third technique, is putting out the best representation of yourself. The best representation of yourself. In other words, putting out a quality presentation of yourself. Sadly, many women put out a presentation that says, you can use me for sex. I'm sorry I said that, but that does happen frequently. Or worse, many of you put out a presentation of yourself that looks like you just got out of bed that day. And in addition, learning flirting skills. I shot a video with Kimmy Seltzer on flirting skills, but learn the skills to create that mutual attraction for one another. This is, if you want a significant relationship in your life, it isn't going to fall in your lap. It's going to require work. You know, we no longer live in tribes or villages where your mate was literally one door down and you were automatically going to be mated with someone or more likely to be mated with someone. Today it requires doing work and that includes putting out the best presentation of yourself emotionally, mentally, physically. And learning the skills to create that attraction for one another. And at the end of the day, the most important technique of all is actually having good relationship skills. Learning how to maintain a healthy, happy relationship. And sadly, very few couples know how to do this. I want to recommend two books right now for this that will help you. First and foremost, I want to recommend eight dates by doctors John and Julie Gottman. And this can be for couples or people that are early dating or in the early stage of dating. But I want to add a book by the Gottmans, seven principles for making marriage work. Why am I recommending these books? If you don't know how to make maintain a relationship and make it thrive, which is outlined in these books, how are you ever going to attract a great partner if you don't know what a great partner looks like? And actually recognizing that a true great partner, a high quality person, is willing to invest into the nuts and bolts to create a healthy, happy relationship. You have to both be willing to do the work to make this work. So you can do all of the external work. You can do all the inner work. But at the end of the day, if you don't know how to maintain and make a relationship thrive, then all you're going to do is go through the motions of a relationship instead of actually experiencing a juicy, delicious relationship. So I want to invite a prayer for you all right now. I invite you right now. God, universe, spirit, I call it Gus. I invite in a juicy, delicious, healthy, happy relationship where we have amazing chemistry with one another and we are mutually attracted to one another and the chemistry is off the charts between the two of us. And our communication is conscious. It's respectful to one another. Our communication allows us to have banter that can go on for hours and hours at a time and we have a sense of humor that allow us to both appreciate one another. And most importantly, we have the tools to resolve conflicts and differences with ease because that's what a good communication between two people feels like. More importantly, it should feel like I'm talking to a good friend, if not my best friend. And more importantly, we can blend lives with one another. Our lifestyles are compatible with one another so we can blend easily with one another and we share the same values with one another to build the deep roots of trust that can sustain a healthy, happy relationship. God, universe, spirit, I invite that in. Folks, I've just outlined an approach that you might take. Are these specific approaches? No, much of this is all about shifting what's inside here because when you shift in here, you actually become a magnetic attractor for what you want. Let me just say this. Yes, it's a mess out there to even this extent. It's even a bit of an S show. I'm not going to say the S word right now. It is. At the same time, I want you to change the narrative so you're not focused on what's wrong. I want to invite you to focus in on what's right. And it starts by being right with oneself because when you become embody the person you want to date, you'll reject those people that aren't the type of person you're looking for and you'll begin to invite a person who genuinely wants to sustain a healthy, happy relationship with you. Is this sinking in? Is this resonating? Please let me know. All right, I'd like to hear your thoughts on this. Post a comment below. If you have something to add, please let me know. Also, if you find value in what I'm sharing, please tell your friends about Midlife Love Mastery. Send them to my website, JonathanAsley.com. Have them click the group coaching button so they can join our fantastic group or send them here. They can schedule a discovery call with me to see if working with a coach is right for you. All right, I'm going to wrap up this video as I always do. First off, give myself a big gigantic Jonathan Barrett of self love. I'm going to reach into the camera and give you a hug of love if that's okay. I'm actually the turn to someone, a Pat, a Teddy Barrett pillow, and give Iter them a hug of love because hugs are a great source of love. And let's face it, we can all use more love in our lives. Thanks a bunch. Bye-bye now. Bye.