 Item Number – SCP-12 Object Class – Euclid Special Containment Procedures – SCP-12 is to be kept in a darkened room at all times. If the object is exposed to light or seen by personnel using a light frequency other than infrared, remove personnel for mental health screening and immediate physical. Object is to be encased in an iron-shielded box, suspended from the ceiling with a minimum clearance of 2.5 meters or 8 feet from the floor, walls, and any openings. Description – SCP-12 was retrieved by archaeologist K. M. Sandoval during the excavation of a northern Italian tomb destroyed in a recent storm. The object, a piece of handwritten musical score entitled On Mount Golgotha, part of a larger set of sheet music, appears to be incomplete. The red-black ink, first thought to be some form of berry or natural dye ink, was later found to be human blood from multiple subjects. The first personnel to locate the sheet, Site-19 Special Salvage, had two members descend into insanity, attempting to use their own blood to finish the composition, ultimately resulting in massive blood loss and internal trauma. Following initial investigations, multiple test subjects were allowed access to the score. In every case, the subjects mutilated themselves in order to use their own blood to finish the piece, resulting in subsequent symptoms of psychosis and massive trauma. Those subjects who managed to finish a section of the piece immediately committed suicide, declaring the piece to be impossible to complete. Attempts to perform the music have resulted in a disagreeable cacophony, with each instrumental part having no correlation or harmony with the other instruments. SCP-043 Object Class, Safe Special Containment Procedures SCP-043 requires no special containment, although it is recommended that SCP-043 not be used for purposes other than testing. A turntable is to be maintained in the same room for testing. Description SCP-043 appears to be a vinyl copy of The White Album by The Beatles. However, upon closer inspection, the record has no grooves. In spite of this, the record will play from start to finish regardless of the starting position of the needle. When the 29th track is reached, instead of playing Revolution 9, the disc stops spinning and faint breathing can be heard. Occasionally, the entity responsible for the breathing will speak in a male voice. The entity will respond to questions and shows a profound encyclopedic knowledge of the music industry, musical theory, and obscure trivia about many bands and artists. However, the entity refuses to answer questions regarding The Beatles or its own personal details. Inside the jacket, a small handwritten note was found, reading, Limited Edition, One of One. Thanks, John. XXX Item Number SCP-092 Object Class Object Safe Special Containment Procedures The 3,125 instances of SCP-092 are to be held in individual cases suitable for containing non-anomalous audio compact discs, or CDs, and stored in standard inanimate object lockers at Site 37. Each instance is to be individually numbered with permanent marker. Testing of instances of SCP-092 is to be done in soundproof rooms. Every one instance of SCP-092 may be examined at a time. Only D-Class personnel are to listen to previously unexamined instances of SCP-092. Research proposals which involve non-D-Class personnel listening to instances of SCP-092 require written approval from Site Command. The cadaver of SCP-092-B is not currently considered anomalous, except by association, and is preserved in the morgue freezer at Site 19. Description SCP-092 is a set of 3,125 audio CDs, each labeled the absolute absolute absolute absolute best of the fifth dimension, and marked with the names of the 31 performers who have at various times been part of the American singing group the Fifth Dimension. Each instance of SCP-092, when played in a standard CD player, will produce a distinct anomalous effect upon all individuals within hearing range. The anomalous phenomenon will last 74 minutes, the duration of a standard audio CD, during which time listeners will be unable to leave hearing range, or to shut off the CD player, or otherwise interrupt its function. As well, when the anomalous phenomenon finishes, all surviving listeners will engage in synchronized vocalization of the phrase, wow, that was real cool. Synchronized vocalization has been observed in non-anglophones, pre-verbal infants, unconscious individuals, paralyzed individuals, and individuals physically incapable of speech due to laryngeal, lingual, and or buccal damage. The anomalous properties of each instance of SCP-092 are thematically and conceptually linked to the number 5, dimensions, and or the members of the Fifth Dimension. As of now, 871 instances of SCP-092 have been assessed, and their anomalous properties formally described. Representative sample of documented anomalous properties of instances of SCP-092. Instance SCP-092-28, anomalous property. Listeners experience quintuple vision for all moving objects. Instance SCP-092-41, anomalous property. Listeners' bodies exude pentagonal crystals of elemental boron, chemical element number 5. Crystals cease materializing upon conclusion of CD, but do not dematerialize. Instance SCP-092-42, anomalous property. Listeners' bodies exude pentagonal ingots of elemental manganese, chemical element number 25, or 5 to the power of 2. Ingots cease materializing upon conclusion of CD, but do not dematerialize. Listeners succumb to acute manganese poisoning within 24 hours. Instance SCP-092-43, anomalous property. Listeners' bodies exude pentagonal nodules of elemental cesium, chemical element number 55, all listeners killed by cesium burns within 8 minutes. Instance SCP-092-79, anomalous property. Listeners become physiologically 5 years old. Instance SCP-092-80, anomalous property. Listeners become physiologically 5 months old. Instance SCP-092-81, anomalous property. Listeners become physiologically 5 weeks old. Instance SCP-092-82, anomalous property. Listeners become physiologically 5 days old. Instance SCP-092-87, anomalous property. Listeners spontaneously become 5 months pregnant, pregnancy spontaneously miscarry upon conclusion of CD. In initial tests, all male listeners succumb to massive internal hemorrhaging within 10 minutes, as do 3 female listeners. Surviving female listeners succumb to organ damage within 4 days. Postmortem genetic analysis shows that all fetuses were identical and are not related to the listeners. Instance SCP-092-126, anomalous property. Listeners experience unbearably painful facial spasms characterized by constant chewing and biting motions, symptoms of trigeminal neuralgia caused by inflammation of the 5th cranial nerve. During initial tests, all listeners batter themselves into unconsciousness against walls of testing chamber in attempt to escape the pain. Instance SCP-092-175, anomalous property. Listeners bodies are pentasected radially, producing 5 disconnected segments which remain alive and mobile. Instance SCP-092-176, anomalous property. Listeners bodies are pentasected laterally, producing 5 disconnected segments which remain alive and mobile. Instance SCP-092-177, anomalous property. Listeners bodies are pentasected axially, producing 5 disconnected segments which remain alive and mobile. Instance SCP-092-200, anomalous property. Listeners are teleported to a site on the surface of Himalaya, the 5th most massive moon of Jupiter, 5th planet from the Sun. Listeners are returned upon conclusion of CD, but succumb to the combined effects of hypothermia, hypoxia, and radiation poisoning within 3 hours. Requests have been made to use SCP-092-200 to send exploration teams equipped with environment suits to Himalaya. Approval is pending. Instance SCP-092-256, anomalous property. Listeners are converted into 2 dimensional forms. Instance SCP-092-271, anomalous property. Listeners spontaneously lose 5 teeth each. Teeth do not regrow after conclusion of CD. Instance SCP-092-272, anomalous property. Listeners spontaneously lose all but 5 teeth each. Teeth do not regrow after conclusion of CD. Instance SCP-092-273, anomalous property. Listeners spontaneously lose 5 fingernails each. Fingernails do not regrow after conclusion of CD. Instance SCP-092-274, anomalous property. Listeners spontaneously lose 5 toenails each. Tornails do not regrow after conclusion of CD. Instance SCP-092-278, anomalous property. Listeners spontaneously grow 3 extra eyes each for a total of 5. Extra eyes do not dematerialize upon conclusion of CD. Eyes are functional and of the same color as listener's original eyes. D-0927714, who had lost an eye in a fight prior to entering Foundation custody, grew 4 extra eyes when listening to SCP-092-278. Instance SCP-092-279, anomalous property. Listeners experience topological deformation such that their height becomes the circumference of their waist and vice versa. Deformation reverts at conclusion of CD. This appears to be an exchange between listener's dimension of height and dimension of width. Instance SCP-092-285, anomalous property. Listeners sneeze 5 times per minute for the duration of the CD. Instance SCP-092-286, anomalous property. Listeners belch 5 times per minute for the duration of the CD. Instance SCP-092-287, anomalous property. Listeners hiccup 5 times per minute for the duration of the CD. Instance SCP-092-288, anomalous property. Listeners cough 5 times per minute for the duration of the CD. Instance SCP-092-315, anomalous property. Listeners find themselves within the 2010 Lars von Trier film Dimension where they are able to interact with the setting but not affect the actions of the characters. Since dimension is only 27 minutes in duration, the events within the film repeat 2.74 times. Instance SCP-092-316, listeners find themselves within the 1993 EastEnders Doctor Who crossover Dimensions in Time where they are able to interact with the setting but not affect the actions of the characters. Since the two parts of Dimensions in Time are only 13 minutes in total duration, the events within the episodes repeat 5.69 times. Instance SCP-092-317, anomalous property. Listeners find themselves within the 1963 Italian film Amore in Quattro Dimensioni where they are able to interact with the setting but not affect the actions of the characters. Instance SCP-092-397, anomalous property. Listeners experience random moments in the life of Alan Shepard, the fifth man to walk on the moon. Instance SCP-092-399, anomalous property. Listeners experience random moments in the life of James Monroe, the fifth president of the United States. Instance SCP-092-400, anomalous property. Listeners experience random moments in the life of Mackenzie Bowle, the fifth prime minister of Canada. Instance SCP-092-401, anomalous property. Listeners experience random moments in the life of Edward Sega, the fifth prime minister of Jamaica. Instance SCP-092-402, anomalous property. Listeners experience random moments in the life of Charan Singh, the fifth prime minister of India. Instance SCP-092-403, anomalous property. Listeners experience random moments in the life of Helen Hayes, the fifth winner of the Academy Award for Best Actress. Instance SCP-092-466, anomalous property. Listeners are physically transformed into members of the original lineup of the fifth dimension, as they were at the time of the group's establishment in 1966. Instance SCP-092-467, anomalous property. Listeners are physically transformed into members of the original lineup of the fifth dimension, as they were at the time of the original group's dissolution in 1975. Instance SCP-092-468, anomalous property. Listeners are physically transformed into members of the original lineup of the fifth dimension, as they were at the time of the original group's reunion in 1990. Instance SCP-092-469, anomalous property. Listeners are physically transformed into members of the original lineup of the fifth dimension, as they are today. Listeners who transform into Ron Townsend, 1933 to 2001, resume their original forms after conclusion of CD, but do not resurrect. When an instance of SCP-092 is inserted into the CD drive of a personal computer, its files can be accessed without triggering the anomalous effects. Examination of the files indicates that each CD has different content. All content is audio material by, or pertaining to, the fifth dimension and its individual members. In addition to all known commercially released songs, files contain live performances, practice sessions, auditions, media interviews, and personal conversations. Acquisition log. On May 5th, an unidentified man, henceforth SCP-092-B, carrying two suitcases, approached front gate guards at Site-19 and stated that he wished to surrender himself and his anomalous creations into foundation custody. The contents of his suitcases were confiscated, and clasped as SCP-092, SCP-092-B was transferred to Site-37 for interrogation. During interrogation, SCP-092-B revealed the thematic connections, five dimensions, and the fifth dimension, between all instances of SCP-092, and then committed suicide. Certificate of statement made by SCP-092-B upon arrival at Site-19. Guard. Sir, this is private property. You can't SCP-092-B. This is a secret foundation site, right? Guard. You can't come in here, sir. I... SCP-092-B. You're the SCP Foundation, and I'm a failure. Guard. What was that, sir? SCP-092-B. You're the SCP Foundation, and I'm a failure. I think I'm clever, but I'm not. I'm a stupid, boring, necklaterny hack, who thinks that money and cheap puns can take the place of talent and inspiration. I'm tasteless. I'm dull. I'm incompetent. I have no sense of style, and the only reason I'm not an art criminal is that nothing I've ever made is even close to being art. You can secure me, and you can contain me, but no one can protect me. Let's take me and my anomalous garbage into custody. At this point, guard summoned to backup. SCP-092-B repeated this statement verbatim until he was taken into custody, excerpt from transcript of SCP-092-B interrogation session number two. Interviewer. Yes, we understand about fiveness. Thank you. That's been most helpful. But we were also wondering what you could tell us about how you made these. SCP-092-B. I just wanted to be cool, you know? I really did. I thought, well, I had my inheritance and my collection, and there was the estate and the abandoned museum, and so much of the stuff went together, and it wasn't that tough, and look, my ideas were better than yours. They were. I know they were. No, they're not. Nobody's impressed by this stupid, facile word play. It's not even good word play. It's kindergarten level Paranomasia. Oh, look, five dimensions. What other things can you think of that come in fives? I'm worthless. I'm worthless. Interviewer. Better than my ideas? SCP-092-B. There's no deeper meaning to what I did. It's all just superficial Potemkin village c***** pumping imitation s**t into the river of human achievement. It's Stein's f*****g Oakland, and I don't even f*****g understand those f*****g illusions. I'm an uninspired wannabe. I'm boring. I'm a useless hack with no f*****g imagination. I've wasted and ruined miracles. I've squandered so much raw material that better people could have done so much with. I just... I'm not cool. I never will be. I'm really sorry about the mess. These aren't my arms. At this point, SCP-092-B seized his own head with both hands and ripped it off his neck, killing himself instantly. Item number SCP-381 Object Class, Safe Special Containment Procedures SCP-381 is to be kept in a 23 x 31 cm document envelope in storage unit 5. Further containment procedure is not necessary under non-testing conditions. Non-Roman Catholic Christian, i.e., any Protestant denomination, research staff are not permitted to perform tests on SCP-381 due to risk of combustion. Other Abrahamic or non-religious personnel are not at risk. Description SCP-381 comprises 7 unbound pages of yellowing paper sheet music. Chemical analysis has confirmed that the ink on the paper is made of a mix of a solution of tannic acids with ferrous sulfate and gum, consistent with a recipe for ink contemporary with the paper's estimated year of production, 1500 BCE. Each page contains 8 bars of a contrapuntal polyphonic baroque choral composition, with overlapping harmonies written for bass, baritone, tenor, and soprano or castrotti vocal parts. None of the script is legible, with the exception of the rubricated capitals interspersed throughout the piece. Anyone who touches SCP-381 abruptly begins to sing from the beginning of the composition in a range suited to their age and gender, but with professional level competence. By measure, other voices will have joined. Such voices emerge from the air around the SCP, and sound like a choir singing lyrics in Latin that translate to data expunged. When the singers reach measure, all non-Roman Catholic Christians in the area, including the singer if applicable, will spontaneously burst into flame that extinguishes only upon cessation of life-function and cannot be extinguished by any available means. The flame is otherwise normal, emitting heat and light as would be expected. SCP-381 was recovered by a Foundation agent in Spain on... It was found in an unopened envelope, sealed with the arms of Philip II of Spain, along with the preserved skeleton of a messenger. Further examination of the skeleton revealed probable cause of death as data expunged. Along with SCP-381, the envelope contained a written note to her royal majesty Elizabeth I. On the event of her coronation, expressing Philip's congratulations and wishes for a prosperous rule, and the contents of the envelope are noted as... A composition to rival the beauty of even your majesty. The missive is dated 28th of December, 1558. Addendum 3811 Research in the Vatican Archives by Dr. Wu with the help of Cardinal Wu has revealed a work commissioned by Pope Paul IV matching the description of SCP-381, though no mention is made of any unusual combustive properties. The piece was commissioned from Italian composer Wu, who notably vanished after he data expunged. Although this information is largely irrelevant to the status of the SCP today, it is of great historical interest when framed in the politics of the Protestant Reformation and Catholic Counter-Reformation. General Bowie is obviously not the first to try to weaponize SCPs. Dr. Wu.