 Flags of shit foam spitting from her asshole all over the backwind screen so she was one of the worst kindergarten teachers I've ever had That's our Michael Goose head With a hand movement next to it When it's just me and him it's it's Marty uncut which means there is constant screaming constant screaming I'll be trying to drive us to a location and I'll have to have a little feel of something Yeah, every time I get out of the car. He grabs at me Fingers grabs for the dick every time I go past. He knows does this little And he like the tip of my dick with these like fingertips It's so frustrating and The amount of times I've been trying to eat my meal or just have a sleep and I wake up to this gaping asshole That spits fucking shit dust out. It's pretty it's pretty exciting. It's actually special Next segments or first segment really this week has been renamed to And then it's like, you know, it's it's inspirational that you That you're growing up. So I think just growing up was inspirational. You never fucking grew up Yeah, but like it physically, you know what I mean? Oh, yeah, it's cool getting older now. We're like now. It's like fuck I'm 30. It's like so motivating No, it's not that we're 30 getting old sucks. It's very I find I draw inspiration from just like oh fuck I'm a bit older now. I'm getting into colors lately. Like I see a color and I'm like, whoa We're all gonna die one day everyone. I know it sucks to think about listening everyone We want to have another sip everyone listening everyone and we'll us to die soon Matt You're gone You're definitely gone. There's everyone listening people commenting sharing. You're all dead. Everyone's gonna die one day So draw inspiration from the fact that you will be dead So just enjoy the moments you have because because one day you ain't gonna have no moments left You're gonna be unconscious fucking course under the fucking ground come and it will be set in concrete and you won't be remembered Matt your grave is gonna be built out of concrete. You'll have a wholesome statue In Milton The goal of this stunt is to Get three rotations of a knife and then catch it on The hand through so there's a very sharp knife. It's one of those really good knives So if he fucks this up, he will slice his hand quite badly. I'll even stand up And this science experiment is called Making coca-cola white That's not gonna fizz up too much is it? No, no Michael's a scientist Just hold it a little further away from the Oh One third bleach That's gonna fill over isn't it? You're gonna fill that to the very brim and it's not gonna overflow He's a scientist. Oh So, I know you get bored of coping I'd like a duck It's all I saw that I So, oh man bleach stinks so That's not bleaching that to my asshole. Just got a bit of bleach in it. I hope that they hope that they can't smell Yeah, it doesn't smell like coke. It doesn't look like coke either, but it is technically you saw how much coke I put in It's bleach and coke now. Yeah, it's bloke. It's bloke. The next segment is called Marcia I'm a kind of trend German yes Really? No. Oh, it sounded like your mom. It was just weird noises. Um, all right You fucking right mate you fucking having a laugh. Yeah, England. Haha all whales. All right. I'm just jokin English that's Scottish that's Scott. I'm just jokin. I'm just fucking jokin. Well, maybe that's as Jordy Fucking Jordy sure It's so hard. They're all just different. All right. What's this one? Um German nine. No, it's fucking Indian. Yeah, but that's probably is that racist? Should we cut that one? We'll let we'll let you decide at home if that's racist. No, I really can cut that corner Connor leave all of this in even Michael. No, no I want people to know that we considered cutting it if this gets dead out to the Daily Mail. All right Leave it in No Me freaking out and then we'll go to the next one. No, I think the freak out is good. Yeah. Yeah, I don't like it It's my choice. I say no Connor cut me freaking out Matt and I've Matt and I've outvoted you Michael No, I keep it in I'll be very upset if this is out No, he's he's going in. No, yes, it's not Connor. No next accent go Russian almost French Iceland and Tartican Yeah, that's pretty racist man Moving on to the next segment it's been renamed Whoa Okay, well, maybe I won't do it either then I'm gonna have to swallow it because you didn't I did a swallow like half of it. Thank you Well done Oh my god, it's just gone. This is just isn't just the beginning is again bad. You go one more. Okay, um People with coronavirus No, I'll do it one one more time Like a chair one more time Stephen Hawking's if he could talk come on. It's Italian. Oh Yeah, I did hear pizza. I did hear a bit of pizza there We bought weapons today. Yeah, so coronavirus is here. It's fucking shit up Well by the time you listen to this will be a week after we bought these weapons and then we'll see we'll see if we were right In buying these weapons. We also bought some canned food and stuff like that and like, oh you guys are the problem You pay we have to panic buy because everyone else is panic buying if we don't panic buy There'll be nothing left to buy so we also have to panic buy so everyone out there Panic panic panic get to the stores buy as much as you can buy any food that lasts longer than a few months quickly Go on by it buy some weapons because they'll definitely be looting start looting you can even why not any businesses close down assault It's okay attack get there get it done quickly hide attack. Why is it that Michael? Full stop Marty. Why are you? Yeah? So great question. So about 14 months ago We were out west doing some work for some farmers building some fences And the storms rolled in and we had to get out of there. So we took the truck Followed the train line down a karara and from there. We just sort of walked straight back to brisman I get that. Oh, I think was I there? Well, you were there, but you weren't you weren't awake. You were like passed out. You were the sheet metal on the back of the truck You were the sheet metal remember that week you were sheet metal. Oh, yeah, that was such a medley week Oh Yeah, so it's good this segment has been renamed to Do some racist comments in german just for a laugh and of course for science now You don't have to do racist germans are german. Yeah, you guys were a bit racist for a bit. That's that's factual. Well, you know what it's hard it's Generalizing germans as racist is racist. Yeah, that's a good point Racist pig Okay, just be an angry sexual dad Dude don't spot on please do just an angry outburst and I love it hearing marty talk on the phone to his mom Makes me laugh harder than fucking seeing an old person fall over. It's okay after they fall over Mine a slice of sting to be dine at hunter. Oh How's that even make sense? It doesn't really Next segment has been renamed to So this is uh what we got sent this week, but it's actually us. We've just pretended and wrapped something up So I wonder what it is. I'm gonna go ahead and unwrap it Glenn 20 kills 99.9% of germs and viruses Let's see if it works Michael stop spraying it straight up in the air. I can't see I bet my fucking nail back from you. Oh It's in my mouth But man, that's Stop Okay, and that's how you use it First segment time us crash us crash it just crash it to the custom Matt's renamed this segment too And of course this is a segment where we just people say oh man, don't drink we I've done this before but The objective of this stunt is to finish the whole glass because normally it's just a sip normally you fuck it up Don't Research suggests that drinking your own can introduce bacteria toxins and other And that's clean piece and other harmful substances is in your bloodstream and I'm half in there Oh, oh, yeah, I've got I just thought of a really is what's that? It's your it's you Oh, I've like how about like for just for this week you drink it all because like it's your piss and it's crazy Like if you're the one that drinks it all Oh, so we won't split the stunt. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No. No. Yeah, not this week I think this week I reckon it would be so funny if you just drank all of your own piss Yeah, okay. I'm on board more over no researchers found that drinking your own can lower blood pressure Well, otherwise improve heart health. I'm sorry. I thought that was positive, but it didn't come out positive. Oh I must have been mistaken. Anyway Here we go. Michael is about to drink his own piss You're gonna have to really just open the throat and pour it down. Can you say something inspirational? Yeah Before I do it like warm me up A lot of people always thought that Michael got he'll never amount to anything Now you show them who you are You skull that piss Oh He's really doing it. It's just fucking that is gone. Oh, oh, there's a bit left It's so sour It's hard to be talk now. It's hard to be talking That's not it. Still am I on the I don't do I don't do the same cow twice On very you normally kill them on very on very rare occasions And I'll come back to visit the body the bloated corpse to see my jizz festering in its asshole But yeah, usually the cows are so physically Taunt to shreds that it would be impossible to have sex with it again Without alerting the authorities Oh Where The best Where the best Where the best Best