 It's near impossible to look at anything or consume anything that's not gonna leave you comparing yourself. It's not just that somebody has something that you don't have. You also have things that other people don't have. Ooh, I'm about to preach. Wait a minute, this is good. I didn't even fully, okay. Sorry. Hello, hello, everybody. Welcome back to The Walk Podcast, Episode 21. I am your host, Sam. If you are new here, I post all things, lifestyle, faith, and occasional vlog here and there although I have been slacking on that front. But this channel is essentially a video diary of my life. I started this podcast a little over a year ago and it has just been talking about navigating my faith, navigating, dating, new friendships, and just how I'm evolving as I get older. Hence the name, The Walk. This has been my walk, my journey, and it's been really cool to share this part of my life with you and be able to relate to some of you on similar topics that we're kind of going through at the same time. So this podcast has been a blessing to me and I'm glad you guys seem to be enjoying it and I will be here for as long as you will have me really quickly. I want to remind you guys that you can listen to this podcast on Spotify. I will leave the link down below. All the episodes go up at the exact same time the video goes up on YouTube. So maybe you don't want to sit and watch the video but you want to listen. I've gotten a couple of messages recently that are saying, you know, I listen to the Walk podcast when I'm on a walk or when I'm driving or this and that, which is so wild to me because I listen to my favorite podcasts when I drive or when I'm doing my makeup or whatever. So it's really cool to hear where and how and when you guys listen to this. I would love for you to comment down below because I'm curious and let me know what you do when you listen to the podcast or if you just sit there and watch it, which is cool too. And if you could, if you don't mind if you wanted to rate the show I'm not gonna tell you to rate it five stars you can rate it whatever you want. But if you want to rate the show on Spotify it really helps me one, see how you guys are feeling about it. And two, it kind of drives the show forward in the algorithm. So I will leave the link to that down below as well as my Instagram, TikTok, all the things. You guys have really been reposting the TikToks that I post on my podcast, TikTok account and I really appreciate it. And I'm just having a good time with this. So I hope you guys are too. And I hope everything is going well. We are entering spring or we are in spring and I'm looking out the window right now as I film this and the trees are getting like the buds on the branches and it's the sun is shining finally. I live in New York, but lately it's been feeling like I live in Seattle cause it has just been raining for weeks on end. But we're finally getting a good spring week and just the serotonin is just, is just going. What else has been going on? I had a really good weekend. You guys are gonna be seeing this on a Wednesday but I'm filming this after a long weekend and it was a busy weekend but man, it was a good one. Saturday, my best friends Joanie and Dom they have been on the podcast before about actually exactly a year ago now it was last April that they were on the podcast. And they have had their first child since then and so their baby got baptized on Saturday and I got to attend that. And I actually, I have to tell you like I was sitting there and I had a little moment it was mostly like their family and then like me and another one of our friends that we've known each other since the fourth grade we all grew up together. And so I was sitting there and I was watching them and I was watching her husband Dom specifically and he was in his suit and he had his hair like gelled all nice and he had his wedding ring on and was holding the baby. And I had a little moment where I got choked up like because of like happiness for them and it's so wild that we're at that stage in our life now. You know, I went to high school with Joanie and Dom I've known Dom since I was a freshman in high school and they ended up going to college the same college together and it was there that they started dating. I don't know why I'm telling you their whole dating story but it was just so wild in a beautiful way to see how they've matured and grown and created such a beautiful life for themselves and oh, the most beautiful baby in the whole world and it was just so beautiful and I was really, really blessed to be a part of it. And then after that, both Saturday night and Sunday I really had a couple moments of like stopping where I was and really realizing that like I was walking in answered prayers this weekend. Some of you guys may remember like I sat on this very couch and I used to cry and pray for like a good community, a community of like like minded people who were also like people of faith not to replace my friend, you know my friends from college and high school I loved them all dearly I wouldn't trade them for the world but I also wanted friends that I could go to church with and sit with and hang out with, you know on a Saturday night if I didn't have any other plans you know what I mean like I just wanted it was craving that community for a long time and Saturday night I was sitting here and I hosted like a movie night and a couple of my friends came over and we watched the whole Planet of the Apes franchise so we sat and watched movies for like six or seven hours and my friend brought his son and he was playing with Luna and it was just so like it was just so much love in this apartment and then Sunday after church our whole young adult group went to a park nearby and had a picnic together it was like 20 of us and I took a video of it like again like one of those panned videos where I just like panned the whole group and it was such a beautiful day and I was just sitting and I was just like in awe of like wow I prayed for this and it was just such like a like a testimony moment and so I just wanted to share that because I feel really blessed and it's crazy what can happen to your life in just a year I think I've mentioned this in September I filmed a video to myself for myself didn't post it anywhere don't plan on posting it anywhere but I was essentially talking to myself and I was like okay right now it's September and I was like I'm praying and believing for you that your life is gonna be filled with so many beautiful people your house, you know your apartment that's been feeling a little lonely lately it's gonna be filled with love and fellowship and new friends and I said in the video I can't wait to watch this in a year to like see how much your life has changed and it's only been what that was maybe like seven, six or seven months ago and already like so much has changed and it's just really cool to see how everything unfolds so I guess all of that to say like if you're going through a hard time or like things are changing or you're in uncharted territory or you're feeling a little lonely I promise you your story is unfolding exactly the way it's supposed to and good things are coming new memories are coming I've said this before you know you have not yet met everybody that's going to love you and I think that's such a beautiful thing to hold on to and I wasn't even planning on saying any of this at all but I don't know I just felt led to say it so anyway feeling really, really thankful and really happy and really fulfilled which is important so anyway that has nothing to do with what we're going to talk about today but I wanted to talk today about the topic of confidence and most specifically or more specifically confidence in a world of comparison things I want to touch on today I want to talk about you know looking at somebody that may have something that you don't in thinking that you need it more on like a materialistic level because we live in a very material consumer world so I want to talk about that I want to talk about how hard it is to or how hard it can be to root for people that have something that you want that you don't yet have and how that you know how that jealousy can creep in there and I also want to talk about physical comparison and feeling like you are not enough the way you like by your default settings right the way you were born that you're not enough and that you physically you know you are not up to society's standards and you compare yourself to all these people and it makes you feel horrible we're going to talk about all that today so I have a couple of things I want to like share and we're also going to kind of do it's not going to be like a Bible study but I definitely want to get into the Bible a little more I actually have like my physical Bible here I want to read from it and like get into it more specifically we're going to read from Romans and we're going to read from Isaiah I just finished the book of Isaiah like on my own time my own reading time and it was a rough one it was a rough one it's not rough and like as in bad it's just kind of tarred a little bit and a little meaty but I finished it and it was in reading that that I came across a specific like parable or not even a parable but like a metaphor the Bible uses a lot of metaphors for things to like teach to teach lessons that's a parable okay fine but I was reading it and I was like that that like so feeds into the topic of comparison and I would love to talk about that on the podcast so that's how this episode came to be so let me get my notes because you know how I do so that was Corinne James sorry so like I said we live in a world where it is pretty much impossible to not compare yourself to others we have 24 seven access to people's achievements people's appearances people's milestones and we all know we all know that social media at this point I hope we all know that Instagram, TikTok all social media in general even YouTube is a highlight real take me for example I've been on YouTube for nine years I don't post the bad stuff not really I post the good stuff you know I post you know morning routines that look all nice and fluffy and peaceful and they're not always like that you know so social media is a highlight real we know this we live in a society where on TikTok an attractive person can look at the camera and do nothing and this is no shade it's just it shows where our society is now they could do nothing except be pretty or in a man's case have abs or whatever wear grey sweatpants whatever it is if you know you know and get two million likes for it or more and then someone could then post a similar video maybe doing the same thing or looking at the camera or using the same song and they might get ten ten likes you know or whatever and then that leaves you with the feeling of like well what's wrong with me I did the exact same thing am I not pretty enough am I not talented enough even though I'm sorry I know I said no shade but like staring at the camera and making a funny face like isn't really talent you know that's what that felt mean to say but you know you know what I mean so you know that's just the society we live in so it's near impossible to look at anything or consume anything that's not gonna leave you comparing yourself right so now since we know it's kind of unavoidable you have to figure out ways to to deal with that and I wrote down my favorite quote I reposted this on TikTok a long time ago and I never forgot it this quote says social media is designed to make us feel like maybe I should be somewhere else doing something else with someone else but if you think that your happiness is somewhere else then it will always be somewhere else it will never be with you you'll never actually have it if you think about it that's so true I am guilty of that oh am I guilty of that I scrolled TikTok I like TikTok if TikTok is used properly I think it's really good I learn a lot recipes all the things like if it's used properly I really like TikTok and some of you may know like I'm very active on TikTok and I post a lot of things too but I'm guilty of it or somebody has like how many times you're scrolling and somebody's wearing like a nice dress and you're like whoa I want the link to that I want to wear that or I like accessories so if I see someone wearing really cool earrings I immediately go try to look for the same pair and I'm like why? like they're their their their own person that's theirs like I don't I don't need it but it's so easy to fall into that so the first way to like go about it you hear people talk about it all the time is like be very careful of the way that you use social media be very careful of the people that you follow or the accounts that you follow and that's very true you know I I have tried to practice that myself where if I'm scrolling on my feed and I see something that makes me feel bad fills me with a not so good thought about myself about my life about people in my life whatever it is I unfollow or like I mute or whatever so that it doesn't come up so that I don't see it I've actually in the last year I have unfollowed a lot of accounts not like personal people I know but like famous accounts or like influencers or whatever because it was really affecting my my mental health but I'm reading Janina Mapola's new book I've talked about her before I'm a fan of her and her book actually talked about this and she says something very important she said yes you can unfollow the things you can unfollow the accounts that make you not feel great but the important part comes with how can you see that and just accept it and just be happy for the person that that's the way they look or that's the thing that they have or that's the vacation they went on and still be okay with like who you are and that's the meat and potatoes of kind of what I want to talk about I say meat and potatoes a lot on this podcast that's the meat and potatoes I don't say that in real life I don't know where that comes from but anyway so yeah oh the other thing I wanted to say before I lose this yes unfollowing is good I would say also be very careful of who in like real life off of social media who you surround yourself with the friends the friends that you keep you want to try to have people in your life that don't see things as a competition all the time that will root for you despite what they're going through the first example that comes to mind say you got a promotion but your friend just got fired that's really hard like it's really hard for your friend to like cheer you on in that situation just for any human you can't help but feel that pain in your chest of like oh that sucks like I don't even have a job and you're getting promoted but if you can find people that despite what they have going on and this is not just for jobs this could be for anything if you can find people that root for you despite what they have going on and you do the same thing to them those are the healthy friendships that you want to keep because it stops your environment from constantly feeling like a competition a comparison game it's just like you are your own individual people on your own individual timeline doing your own and dealing with your own individual things so I would say also try to implement that as well or like you know talking to the friend group that you have now if it doesn't feel that way and you're like hey guys we need to change our mentality like this is how it how it should be you know what I mean so anyway we're gonna get into the Bible a little bit so let's talk about physical comparison real quick we live in a society where it's very normal now like if there's something you don't like about yourself you know your face or whatever it's very easy to just change it you know if you have the means to do so now I want to tread lightly here because I never like listen, listen, listen I'm on TikTok I am aware that Christianity is kind of becoming I don't know if you guys have noticed this and this is something I might want to talk about in another episode I just have to tread lightly Christianity is becoming trendy which in the grand scheme of things is great as long as it's genuine but some accounts can, can you tell I'm treading very lightly can come across as holier than now and I think I have been guilty of that sometimes on my podcast too and I never want to feel like that so I never want this to be like judgemental I never want this to like I'm not perfect I have made my mistakes but it's just that I'm learning so much and I see the way what I am learning is changing my life and it just feels so good that I want other people to experience it as well but I often have to like sometimes I have to check myself and be like Sam maybe there was a different way to say that so I want you to know that I'm not sitting here like I'm perfect I'm not sitting here like I'm judging anybody for anything that they have done or want to do or anything like that okay I have I mean maybe I've never gotten a nose job or anything done to my face but like I've dyed my hair I've been blonde was I born blonde no you know what else have I done I mean I haven't really changed too much but you know what I mean like I have done I'm guilty of it too okay so I never want to sit here and be like judgemental but we live in a world where you know again if you have the means to do so because these things are really expensive but you're like I hate my nose I really like her nose I want her nose it's very sad like I see a lot of and the reason I say it's getting sad is because it's getting younger and younger these ages are getting younger and younger I saw a girl on tiktok she's like 19 years old she had nice teeth and she got veneers and again no shade like if that's what you want to do like do it but I hate that people feel that they need to do that is what I'm saying and I would love for everyone to get to the point but in our society it's so hard I would love for everybody to get to the point where it's like I was born this way and that's it like this is the way I was supposed to be born there's nothing wrong with me that person looks like them and I look like me I love the I've heard this comparison when I was in high school and I never forgot it it's like a rose and a daisy are both beautiful flowers they smell good they're beautiful colors but they look absolutely nothing like one's beauty does not take away from the other's beauty and vice versa and that's how that's the way I would love for people that's like where I would love people to get to that point and I wish like I want to get to that point too because of course I'm human I compare myself all the time so I'm working on this with you okay so let's let's get into the bible before we get into the actual like bible study part because I'm actually going to like read a little bit more than I usually do but I will say transitioning into this bible talk now we were made exactly the way we were supposed to be by our creator right this is the truth that I believe right so that I'm going to speak on on my truth I believe that I was I was made by my creator and my creator doesn't make mistakes so the hair that I was given the nose that I was given my nose is crooked that's the nose I was born with this eye I think it's this eye it's this eye I don't remember one of my eyes looks a little more like closed than the other one if you look really carefully I'm like pointing out all my insecurities like look at my face but those are things that I have this side of my mouth actually droops a little bit more than this side and I was born that way and I'm okay with it it took me a long time even now sometimes like this is I always say this is like my bad side this is my good side like I still feel like that sometimes where like I want to take pictures on this side of my face you know but like that's just the face that I was born with and so I wanted to talk about Luke 12 verse 7 it says the very hairs on your head are all numbered so don't be afraid you are more valuable to God than a whole flock of sparrows I know the whole flock of sparrows thing might seem a little random but the main point of this verse is like he knows every single hair on your head because he created it Ephesians 2 10 tells us that we are God's masterpiece and that's I've read that a couple times throughout the Bible in various different places that we are called God's masterpiece he made us exactly the way we were supposed to be and we go through experiences exactly the way we were supposed to it's all part of his plan because we are his masterpiece and he sees you as so valuable he sees you as so beautiful whether you are a man whether you are a woman it doesn't matter he thinks that you are beautiful like he made you and then he stands back and he's like I did a good job right so let's look into the book of Isaiah and like I said I read that on my own time there's 66 chapters in it so it took me like a month a month to get through it a little over a month and if you don't know it's basically Isaiah I wrote it down it's a beautiful prophetic picture of Jesus the Messiah the one who would come to save redeem and restore people to God so it's all about all about that about how you know like the ruin of Jerusalem and how that there's there's the Messiah coming that's going to restore everything back to normal and make a new kingdom of God and all the things okay so let's look at Isaiah I don't think I had it bookmarked which I should have here it is so I want to look at Isaiah 45 versus 9 through 12 I believe okay here it is and if you're if you're new to the Bible or reading the Bible if you're reading this on your own it may look a little different the words might be a little different there are different translations they all say the same thing pretty much but some are they use different words so some are easier to understand than others I use the new living translation which is one of the easier ones so if you read this on your own it might look a little different but the message is the same so 45 verse 9 through 12 what sorrow awaits those who argue with their creator does a clay pot argue with its maker does the clay dispute with the one who shapes it saying stop you're doing it wrong does the pot exclaim how clumsy can you be how terrible it would be if a newborn baby said to its father why was I born or if it said to its mother why did you make me this way this is what the Lord says the holy one of Israel and your creator do you question what I do for my children do you give me orders about the work of my hands I am the one who made the earth and created people to live on it with my hands I stretched out the heavens all the stars are at my command so there's a lot to unpack here the beginning is the part that I really wanted to talk about does a clay pot argue with its maker does the clay dispute with the one who shapes it saying stop you're doing it wrong so he is the creator he has a vision he is creating you exactly the way he intended to you wouldn't say to a painter who made a beautiful painting right on display for millions of people to see right let's just say it's a really really famous painting the Mona Lisa let's just say would you tell the artist you did that wrong no because you can't my sister is an artist for example okay take this take this example this is better my sister is an artist she had one of her pieces of art displayed at an art show and the art show the people who work at the exhibit itself they hang up all the pieces of art so she went for a walk through before the art show was supposed to start and her painting was flipped on its side it was supposed to be vertical they thought it was supposed to go horizontal and she looked at it and she said that's wrong that needs to be fixed because it was her vision she knew what her piece of art was supposed to look like and to them it didn't look wrong but to her she knew that it in fact was wrong and no one could argue with her because it was her vision and she made it exactly the way that it was supposed to be made and that's what he did with you and with me and I want to go to Romans chapter nine and that the really cool thing about the bible is that a lot of things I'm still learning where things are in the bible guys the cool thing about the bible is a lot of things are like reiterated there's a lot of repetition in the bible and I always take like the things that are repeated as like the really important things because you reiterate what is important so this clay potter thing comes up elsewhere in the bible so we're going to look at Romans chapter nine verses 20 and 21 so verse 20 says no don't say that who are you a mere human being to argue with God should the thing that was created say to the one who created it why have you made me like this when a potter makes jars out of clay doesn't he have a right to use the same lump of clay to make one jar for decoration and another to throw garbage into now this is interesting because the clay pot that part's the same right the second part can't the artist make one jar for one purpose and one jar for another oh i'm about to preach wait a minute this is good I didn't even fully okay sorry the potter is making out of the same piece of clay he's making two different objects for two separate purposes okay not to say I'm not going to say one is garbage and one is that's not what I'm saying it's just it's a metaphor right so from that I take that to say he can make me for one purpose and you for another that's why we're supposed to be different we're not supposed to be the same you can't compare it because they weren't meant to be compared I have a friend who I would love for you guys to meet him on the podcast one day and I think he will at some point I've talked about him before I think he has been through some stuff he has seen some things he has done some things and there's no shame at all because and I've told him this he can now reach people now knowing what he knows and now having the Holy Spirit in his life now having God as a part of his life he can reach people that I would never be able to reach he can reach a whole other type of person he can relate to them in a way that I never will be able to that's not a coincidence that's not a mistake God had that happen on purpose yes he makes us all the same like foundation-wise but he uses us for different purposes so you may go through something and you're like this is the most painful thing I have ever gone through why am I going through this and no one else in my life has to deal with it there could be there's a reason there's a reason why because now you can take what you have gone through and you can be sympathetic to people that have gone through something similar that other people can't reach whether that's I mean that could be anything that could be you know and this is going to be sensitive I'm just I'm not going to talk about it I'm just going to name them you know the loss of a child miscarriages being cheated on so many things you know the loss of a best friend like so so many things illnesses illnesses is a big one you can take all of your experiences and use them in a way that nobody else can that's why we're supposed to be different we're supposed to look different we're supposed to do different things we're supposed to think differently you know by all biologically whoa signs from that might think biologically yes our brains are all like made the same right but our minds are different our experiences are different I feel like I'm repeating myself but you understand what I mean you were made this way for a reason and again it's tricky because like little things like dyeing your hair right like I've done that do I think that that's the worst thing in the world no right we all dye our hair we all not we all but like we all do little things like that or we get like piercings and like I have two tattoos you know like little things like that and I get it um and I I'm not the type where I think you know that you get a tattoo you're going to hell like that's not that's me personally that's not what I believe but I know you I have to tread carefully like I said before um but like the big things where you feel like you're not good enough or you you don't look good enough or you haven't experienced certain things that you think you should have at this point that other people have it's all I was about to curse it's all it's all bs it's it's just it's not accurate and I just want I want to drive that home to you and to me that what somebody has you don't necessarily need it that's their story that's their timeline and you know you have things you have to keep in mind that it's not just it like it goes both ways it's not just that somebody has something that you don't have you also have things that other people don't have right that make you you and that's the beautiful thing and that's the way it should be so I hope that all makes made sense um and I just really love this analogy of like the clay potter the potter and the clay and you know the artist and he makes no mistakes guys he makes no mistakes and I promise you that you are beautiful in his eyes as well just like we all have different passions like those passions were put in your heart for a reason those passions those things you feel that like really fulfill you and make you happy those are from God those were put there on purpose for your purpose and for your calling right for example I have such a passion for social media and content creation a lot of my best friends literally the opposite like they don't need some of them don't even have social media I believe it was put on my heart for a reason because I want to do things like this and this fulfills me and this makes me happy and this makes me feel like I am a vessel to you guys from God right like this is not coming from me I'm just the vessel speaking these things to you does that make sense so those passions that are in your heart pay attention to them don't ignore them because they're there for a reason and it's okay to have different passions than the people around you that's the way it should be and you know if you are in a time in your life where you really don't feel comfortable in your own skin or you don't feel like you know adequate enough or whatever it's okay to just ask for peace to just pray about it like I've told you before prayer shouldn't be scary it's not a big thing it's not it shouldn't be this super dramatic thing just talk to him like you were talking to me like talk to him like you're talking to a friend just ask for peace you know lord if you would help me feel comfortable in my own skin if you would help me feel comfortable with my appearance if you would you know fill the void that's in me that makes me feel like I need to be something else or someone else and little by little you'll see that it'll change for you and maybe in the beginning you might have to fake it till you make it but then it's going to become part of your routine and you're actually not going to have to fake it anymore and so all of this helps too with like cheering people on when you have when they have something that you don't you know for example you guys know one of my dreams perhaps the biggest one is to get married and have a family one day right that's not a secret I'm very open about that and yet I'm at a point now and last year it might have been a little bit different just because I was going through more of a painful time last year but I've gotten to the point where now I can sit at my best friend's baby's baptism and I can cry tears of joy for them because I know that that's their story and mine is different I know that maybe there are more things that I have to do before I get to that chapter of my life right maybe more things online maybe more exploring more passions that I didn't even know I had yet you know everybody's timeline is different and my hope and my prayer is that we could all get to that place at some point so I think I will leave it there this was a little bit of a shorter episode I think which is fine I'd rather it be you know quality over quantity so I hope that this video touched you this episode spoke to your heart and remember that you are beautiful and you are exactly the way you're supposed to be and I love every single one of you I love reading your comments I love reading your Instagram DMs I love all of it thank you for your support on every platform that I am on I really appreciate you guys and I feel so blessed so thank you for being here and I will see you guys in my next episode