 He has money in his pocket do things that he wants to do because the thing is a lot of women want the guy to be the financial provider and the nurturer Listen, it's the message right here Black boy tell me how you really feel Cuz I just want to build with you black girl. Tell me how you really feel. I Want to keep it real with you. I want to live better eat better. I want to love better sleep better Yeah, I want to feel so aligned You know females when they Some not all when they go in the day, you know, I think they want the guy to Spend on them like if you ain't if you're not treating me to a nice extravagant dinner, then You don't really like me like that. If you're not I Feel like you should pick out my dress, too Like, you know what but for a guy you can buy him like some fresh shots It's a pack of white tea. So he's gonna be happy because Those are things that he needs on his daily basis sometimes women want things that they don't actually need Like an expensive dinner. It's not gonna determine whether This guy actually likes you or for the guy is not gonna determine whether she likes you It's just gonna turn in That she gonna see that you got money or you gonna be like, oh, she easy So I'm about to slide in I feel like maybe people got more creative like I wouldn't miss date one time and He asked him what kind of date do you want to go on? I was like Created a date out of $20. He was like $20. What what type of date? I'm like get creative like because I'm creative person. So How creative can you be with this? You only got $20. You can't spend no more You can spend less if you want but $20 lessy He was kind of stuck He was stuck. I Think I just start talking No, what what what surprised you the most about him? Oh, yeah, so that simple and You really have to like talk to guys because You'll be you feel like they should understand something But they might we think emotionally and guys think logically so they think a To see I mean everything else leads to Z. So it's that way. It's it was a few minutes. It's like, okay Hey, B, but see I don't know. I gotta turn around and go back to be because something on scene right about this like Because why they didn't pronounce this alphabet, I think this should be pronounced a little bit different like it doesn't make sense before guys like They pronounce it like that. Then that's how it is as long as this is gonna give me to my destination. So you Females have more power than they think in a relationship, but I feel like it's just used So If you see the Table conversation, what do you bring to the table? What do you bring to the table? What are your thoughts on that conversation? And what ass How do you like so it's it's a debate, right? So Men are asking women. What do you bring to the table women are telling men? I am the table, right men are saying I have to do this this and this and you feel like just showing up is enough So do you think? One side is right one side is wrong. They're both wrong and how? I don't feel like there is one side, right or Wrong what I do feel like though is a lot of people ask What you can bring to the table, but they can't actually bring that to the table their sales and it goes both ways like A woman don't want a guy to nurture her take care of her pay for her bills Get her hair done get her nails done get her feet done like really invest But this hat but does not have any knowledge and how to do the same thing for the guy Guys don't want a woman But they only want the benefits of the woman Not the whole like a woman she's gonna tell you what she like and what she don't like she's gonna hold you accountable a Lot of guys don't like being held accountable for things But a lot of women don't like being held accountable either so I Feel like and a lot of people that I see that axe dog question They normally don't have everything that breaks Like if you really look at the people that act of because honestly as a woman as a man If you actually getting to know a person I Don't know you don't have to ask the person what they bring to the table because they could tell you what they bring To the table, but you have to see it a lot of people talk, but aren't action Yeah I and I feel like it shouldn't be it should be with this this person bring to the table for you because I Could tell you what I bring in the table But it may not be what you need it may be with another many you may bring All these things to the table as well, but that might not be as a woman what I need from you So that doesn't mean you're a bad guy You'll be a good guy, but you just not a good guy that I need advice versa same thing for female. Yeah Well, the next conversation is Who's the prize? both especially if you talk about balance and The guy can't have everything but then the female lacking because again, he could just be by himself if The female has everything then the guy is lacking then What are we doing? There's no balance if you both are prizes and you're coming into this together. You're trying to build your Equally bringing something to the table to balance out the whole table. So wow The the guy brings the table the woman gets the table ready is it's a Adjoint thing it's no how they say there's no I and we it's not we is no I in Foundation building if you're a team we're working together so That's how I feel about that The next social media thing the 5050 conversation some people are saying We should split all the financial responsibility 5050 other people are saying the man needs to cover 100% because the woman is doing this this this and this where do you fall on that conversation? Okay, it's been someone who has been on my own since 18. I'm 29 now I am perfectly if me and my partner are making like around the same amount wait Maybe he's making a little bit more than me I am completely okay with Because I've been paying all my bills on my own for so long half of that would Be beneficial to me. So for me, it wouldn't be a problem like if I'm paying half of what I pay now We can split the bills because it's benefiting you and it's benefiting me the cost of living Isn't like how it used to be back in the day So I personally feel like if if you and your man are splitting the bills To each his own. This is how I feel and You're bringing that peace ultimately. He's probably going to wind up spending That money on you anyway because he's like she's working with me She don't even be asking for this much. She like Is a compromise now if the guy wants to take care of everything by all means I don't feel like it's anything wrong with that if that's something that he wants to do But I also feel like it's nothing wrong with splitting bills either because it's helping the both of you Like what are you losing by splitting bills with each other? He has money in his pocket do things that he wants to do because the thing is a lot of women want the guy to be The financial provider and the nurturer like I want you to pay all the bills But then I also want you to take me on trips. I also want you to take me on nice dinners I also want you to go all out on these holidays with gifts So then it's like well, you know, you must want a rich man because You want him to do all of this but when does he have time to do things for himself? But if you're splitting He can still spoil his self You could still spoil yourself and y'all can still spoil each other because y'all have the finances to do so versus Him spending everything and then you have a money and I've seen this a lot There are some females that are gold all out for the man But the man to go out for the female and then she will get him like Little few things and it's like hey that I don't compare to what you wanted him to do for you. So I Think I don't think it's really fair to be honest I'm not I do feel like women go through a lot and endure a lot but in this particular topic I feel like Guys are looked at to bring so much But we don't give them that space to always keep going so So and I think that leads to the next kind of part of the the conversation because Some of the conversation I see from men is Number one, we don't feel like women fully understand statistics or fully care about statistics and numbers And what you'll see happen sometimes is a woman will have By a lot of metrics a top 5% man especially black man But she doesn't necessarily treat him like that. So like a friend of mine for instance make six figures Masters degree holder black man six foot eight three hundred pounds like he's an anomaly But he was telling me his girl treated him like she could get another one of him Just because maybe she had men in her DMS or She had she is around men and things like that. So men of a certain status Still don't feel like we're appreciated by our women because it's like You thank you all this but you really not even though the numbers say and when you're looking at the statistics This black man under 30 making six figures. It's like You know saying like what do you think that is? ego and power And also you got to think about the status of the female too because if he is up there and she is below him then It's like she's kind of I don't know. I feel like it's narcissistic behavior a little bit like You can't really I mean really like you really think you're gonna find Because the thing is people don't karma is real So if you have that good man like that and he's doing good by you that is very rare Now it's how to attend the dudes in your DM with he asked you how your day was they don't care about your day They just looking at you and how you look and what you could probably do for them Or you know guys are visual people. So if you look good, they can probably be in dress to you But they hold eyes and then after they do they want they gone But you got this man over here that he actually got himself together Because he's not doing everything how you want him to do or how it looks to you now Problem so now you reaching for attention to someone else instead of communicate with him because he might not even know that He's not doing this right, but because you feel like he's supposed to read your mind And he's not reading your mind. Oh, he's not down down at your feet. Thank you You're gonna let social media which is temporary because you got to go home with him this this social media is You get on you get off these dudes don't know and don't let the female He deal with a lot of her emotions and mood swings and stuff You you oh you think this dude about to be patient enough and deal with what I deal with No, but because they're And this is a good thing to not just females, but you asked me on this this side a lot of the time if if you a female that look good, I Think not all females, but some females feel like your looks can get you further than they actually can't explain Like I feel like you can be in a beautiful female can get you on a lot of doors Having a nice smile can get you on a lot of doors But are all of those doors the right doors because once they start talking to you Can you hold an intellectual conversation? Can you ask the right questions? Can you actually sit and let a person talk without Disturbing them or interrupting them or feeling like no, no, you're not right. You're not right Let me tell you let me tell you because that's really like this Let the person talk Observe what they're saying because also this goes back to something that you say I feel like if Us as women step back in like just listen We would get a lot more answers But a lot of times we want to be right all the time So once the guy start talking and then he started make it sense then we'd be like no no no But wait though. What about when you did this, but we're not talking about When I did this last week, we're talking about you Right now at this moment and how this made me feel or vice versa. So hmm, that's interesting because Kevin Sandwich talks about a lot of these things that you touched on So let me let me ask you. Why do you feel like why do you think? He's famous What what what do you think is going on? What do you think it says about? The black male and female dynamic right now That led to him being famous He's a content creator. So he talked about very controversial topics. I feel like The questions that he acts challenge a lot of people's egos so You have people jumping on there Because you know at first I was like I'm not really a fan because the ones that I saw were like guy versus female but He'll he'll push you in a place. He'll but I also feel like he's a content creator. He talks about the things there are like Popular right now the things that's happening like The nurture the question you act like nurturing and things like that the way the wave is going a lot of us women are becoming masculine and it's because We were brought up to be strong black women But with being strong black women we tend to take that to a point Where I don't need a man for anything and I feel like Men need women and women need men so I do feel like he talks about things that Really bother people because it is it's everywhere. So when you talk about a topic like that you have people like Now he's just talking to us. That's not fair But your reaction is actually showing it's proving his point like the way you're getting defensive is showing Why he said this exact statement male female, whatever the case is. So I feel like The people who don't agree with him or I actually doing what he said you shouldn't do Then those are the people that's like, uh-uh, he don't like women Whatever his thing might be, but then it's the guys does he calls out and it's like no, that's not me That's not me. I don't be doing that. I know what type of dude. I'm a good dude I feel like if you always got to talk about the type of person you are you probably not that person Because your action is speak for itself People you don't have to always say you a good dude But you don't always have to say you a good woman You're act your actions gonna speak for it So I just feel like it's a lot of egos that he'd be touching and they'd be in they feels and they'd be Not feeling it, but the truth hurts What what's One or two things that you are curious about black men or a certain type of black man Like do you have things that you still haven't figured out or still doesn't make sense to you Why is it that a Black man will Acts for a good woman But then once he gets that woman then He abuses her Her understanding her love her heart And then blame her For the things that he has caused and now she's crazy or She's being too emotional or she's overreacting or Describe this black man. I'm getting to a point with this. I'm getting to the point with this. Um, I Do want to know that But I also know That a guy can only do what a woman allows But then that also Goes to healing Because it sounds like if she's allowing this And he's doing this Then both of them are slightly broken. So maybe you don't need to be in a relationship Maybe you need to focus on healing But I do want to know that question though I mean, I kind of know the answer, but then you also have to think statistically women are looked at as If a man doesn't have money or if he's if he can't do for I heard a Question that was like Will a woman love a man without money and There are women out there that will because I've been that female But then It's looked at as well You allowed that to happen though. So I Mean Kind of give me a break here because I'm allowing this to happen But yet I won't love a person like this But I am loving this person like this and I am giving this person chances I am trying to be understanding. I am trying to look at it from this person's perspective But I allowed this to happen. So it's my fault. I Think what happens is and men and women do this We fall in love with our idea of a person and when I say our idea it doesn't mean like who they were or Who they are we fall in love with who we think they could be and I'm all about you need to fall in love with who they want to be. So I'll give you an example. There was a Lady I was talking to At this event a while back and she she said she moved to Charlotte Other than Charlotte at the time she moved in to Charlotte to find a black man and she works in corporate America, but she was saying that She's willing to even date a mechanic And I was like, how would you do that? She was like, well, I have connections. I have money I have this and that so I could help him grow into a mechanic who runs five different workshops And I thought to myself you don't really want a mechanic. You want a mechanic who wants to be a boss What if he just wants to be a mechanic? What if he just wants to be the best mechanic for some franchise? But she's falling in love with her idea of the guy Because at the end of the day like and this is a mistake men make If I haven't become the type of man. I want to be for myself. I can never become the type of man You want me to be for you? So the reason why a lot of guys to answer your question Put women in that scenario is because he's still trying to build himself and the worst thing a woman can do is try to build a man It never works ever ever ever It's a terrible idea. I agree. So, okay, I Can have a question talk to me. So what about a Lot of times you have the angry black woman, right? But then you have a nice Woman who will be nurturing and loving and caring Sometimes I feel like it's no balance for us because if you're stern and you're like, I'm not dealing with this I'm not tolerating this Then even if you're not being angry you're looked at as an angry black woman But then if you're nice, you're loving you're talking you give that guy that vulnerable space Then a lot of guys don't look at it as wow. She's an amazing woman like I'm being vulnerable They automatically look at it as What can I get out of this because she's so nice? She's probably easy She's probably easy. So I'm a just Is the truth I think we talk a lot about how a lot of black women are in their masculine energy a lot of black men They're in their feminine energy, you know, I think it's a result of being raised by single mothers. I think it's a result Of being praised for Unmasculine attributes like how many women you can get right how many this and that right so what happens is We've created a scenario as a culture where Black men are attracted to men with vaginas Fisher and black women are attracted to Women with dicks officially and it never it never works out and it never ever ever works out but unfortunately like And this is the part that really you know pisses me off because We don't incentivize the behavior we claim we want right like the the good dude the the The dude who is a man and who does operate on integrity and principle He's not the dude getting pussy You know, he's he's the dude and somebody's friends on and he said that somebody's food nigga, but the dude who You can't really rely on him if if your car broke down on the side of road, nigga don't know how to change the tire Right, that's who makes you you know giddy and butterflies in your stomach. So like why is that what's going on the image The image of social media the music I mean people following trends I feel like Beer for sure media um people not getting to know people um And honestly, I'm speaking for myself too Now being 29, I think differently But back then it was more so like You're you're attracted to this guy This guy physically looks like what you want in him in a man But now you're trying to make him the man that you want him to be like If this dude was a cheater But appearance wise he looks like the type of man you want Now you feel like I'm about to go in because I got that good good I'm about to make him like No, he he cheater. He's still gonna be a cheater like let me ask you this Do you think the reason why women right now are prioritizing looks Is because they're in their masculine and men prioritize looks for sure for sure, um Oh, yeah, because then I mean let's think about it now guys with the gray sweatpants And that's like oh look at that like the way females are now is Equivalent to how guys Like now females like I'm like aggressive like Oh, like can I just wear But see this is the thing too We are doing the same things that we don't like dudes to do Why can't if I just want to post a picture in my bathing suit why you got a Like it's just a bathing suit like why you got to sexualize everything But how can we It got get upset at guys for sexualizing everything when a guy can't even wear gray sweatpants without them talking about like his print or like The dude have to have these ooh muscles and cut and stuff like that with the nice lips and nice hair and ooh like like Why can't he just do his thing so I do feel like it's The rules are flipping One of the one of the ladies I interviewed she said something that really stuck with me. I thought it was interesting. I want you to respond to it. She said Part of the reason we go for the pookies and ray rays as opposed to the nigga in a suit is because So she said it's two things. She said number one I'm more prepared to deal with if pookie lets me down Versus if a good man lets me down And number two is She said I don't want no dude who's better than me Because I might not be ready to step my game up to meet him on his level Do you think there's any truth to that like on a large scale not necessarily for you and like How do we get there? But like that has a lot to do with self-love because if you're confident in yourself You're not gonna worry about whether this guy looks better than you or not No, not looks but is like You know based on metrics like he's a top 1% guy, you know what I'm saying So like I don't want to necessarily have to step my game up immediately because I'm gonna have to step my game But if I needed if I'm gonna be able to rock Obama, I can't continue to be who I am right now So it's safer or it's easier to be with pookie So you're settling because that's what that sounds like because if If you want this type of person Then what you need to do is be single and work on yourself until you get to that point because you think about vibrations If you heighten your vibration, you're gonna attract What you want not all but a lot of the times If you work on yourself pour into yourself love yourself this goes for a man or a woman um It's going to be that person out there that's going to see you and be like that's That's that's what i'm talking about right there. Like that's what I feel I feel like a lot of females vibrations either don't be heighten or it be heighten But then they go lower because again a power thing They feel like if he has less than me Then I could control the situation more but if he has more than me I'm in there's no controlling for me. He has the control, but then that That that ties into leading letting a man lead because A lot of females these days walking their masculinity They don't know how to allow the man to lead because they want to lead they want it to be how they want it to be They They want to be in charge. They want to make the cause They don't know how it feels to have a man that actually love you in that seat making cause It's sort of like an out-of-body experience Especially if they haven't been brought up around that with their dad or like him showing her like This is how a man is this is how I feel like That ties into well How was your relationship with your father? Or how was your relationship with your mother? It starts from somewhere. You don't just Think like that For no reason