 This is an alert from serious contamination prevention limited, and it concerns an outbreak in your area. An unusual transmissible form of tumor-causing diseases in your area. This disease is transmissible through physical and airborne contact. You should limit your interaction with other people in your area for the foreseeable future. Do not leave your area, as this would risk spreading the disease to new populations. Instead, stay in your home. Staff from serious contamination prevention limited will visit your home, and check you for symptoms of the disease. If you have the disease, you will receive surgery, which will remove it fully, and painlessly. If you notice any unusual bumps on your skin, notify a staff member of serious contamination prevention limited immediately. If you notice these bumps have a uniquely squid-like appearance to not be alarmed. It is an unusual, but mundane feature of the disease. Thank you for your attention, and cooperation.