 I have, so far, released for publication only one episode from Uncle Oswald's diaries. It concerned, as some of you may remember, a carnal encounter between my uncle and a Syrian female leper in the Sinai Desert. These years have gone by since its publication, and nobody has yet come forward to make trouble. I am therefore encouraged to release a second episode from these curious pages. My lawyer has advised against it, he points out that some of the people concerned are still living, and are easily recognisable. He says I will be sued mercilessly. Well, let them sue. I am proud of my uncle. He knew how life should be lived. In a preface to the first episode I said that Casanova's memoirs read like a parish magazine beside Uncle Oswald's diaries, and that the great lover himself, when compared with my uncle, appears positively undersexed. But I stand by that, and given time I shall prove it to the world. Here then is a little episode from Volume 23, precisely as Uncle Oswald wrote it. Paris. Wednesday. Breakfast at 10. I tried the honey. It was delivered yesterday in an early sevre sucrée, which had that lovely canary-coloured ground known as Jean-Ky. From Susie, the note said, and thank you. It is nice to be appreciated, and the honey was interesting. Susie Jollibois had, among other things, a small farm south of Casablanca, and was fond of bees. Her hives were set in the midst of a plantation of cannabis indica, and the bees drew their nectar exclusively from this source. They lived those bees in a state of perpetual euphoria, and were disinclined to work. The honey was therefore very scarce. I spent a third piece of toast. The stuff was almost black. It had a pungent aroma. The telephone rang. I put the receiver to my ear and waited. I never speak first when called. After all, I'm not phoning them, they're phoning me. Oswald, are you there? I knew the voice. Yes, Ory, I said, good morning. Listen, he said, speaking fast and sounding excited. I think I've got it. I'm almost certain. Sample complete. Ready to continue?