 Craft presents the Great Gilder Sleeve. Cheese Company, who also bring you Bing Crosby every Thursday night, presents each week at this time Harold Parry as the Great Gilder Sleeve, written by John Wheaton. We'll hear from the Great Gilder Sleeve in just a moment. Well, popcorn days are here again, and if everybody in your family likes popcorn as much as I do, you don't want to miss this bet. The next time you pop up a big crispy bowl, do this to make it extra good. Drench it with plenty of melted Parquet margarine. Yes, Parquet margarine, craft's delicious spread for bread. Parquet makes popcorn extra tempting because it's so thrifty, you can use all you want. And good? Oh, say you'll relish that delicate Parquet margarine flavor. It's as delicious, melted over popcorn as it is spread on bread or rolls. And remember this, Parquet margarine is wonderfully nourishing. It's an excellent source of food energy, and every pound contains 9,000 units of important vitamin A. It's all for table use, yes, and for baking and pan frying too. Remember delicious economical Parquet margarine. Now at the top of tomorrow's shopping list, write down Parquet, P-A-R-K-A-Y. Parquet, the margarine that's made by craft. Now on with the show. As it must to all men, the first of the month came last week to Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve, and with it, Bills. For five days they've lain unopened on the desk in his den, but this morning we find him shuffling through them for a hasty glance at the bad news before rushing off to the office. Bills, bills, bills, look at them. Phone company, a lot of calls we didn't even make. Summer feel light and power, the robbers. PV's drugstore, sold us 45 cents. Lee Roy! It's lucky for him. When he comes home, you tell him I want to see him, my tree. Bills, bill from Dr. Pettybone. Well, he didn't lose any time. Hogan Brothers after me again. We got to quit buying all this stuff we don't need. It's unpatriotic. Hey, one grocery. I wonder how we came out on that. Oh, I won't pay it. Birdie, Marjorie. Birdie. Birdie, what did I tell you last month? Tell me. Yes. Last month? Yes. Me? Yes. I don't know. Look at that grocery bill, Birdie. Eight dollars more than the last. Well, that's the way it is, Mr. Gildersleeve. I know, but why is it? I thought we agreed to hold the grocery bill down, Birdie. Yes, we agreed, but the A1 grocery didn't. You have to realize, Uncle Mort, the prices have gone up. They're going up every month. Yeah, you take eggs. I remember when you could buy eggs for 39 cents a dozen. Now they're getting so the hands won't even do nothing, let's they cough them up. Yes, well, we've simply got to cut down somehow, Birdie. Because if we don't, we won't be able to buy our war bonds. You want that to happen? No, of course not. Birdie, do you? Not me. Got to get them war bonds to keep hittlin' from gettin' us. That's right. Taste bonds and taxes to beat the actress. You're right, Birdie. Got to give up our earlings to Nick the German. Absolutely. Got to pour in the dollars to hit my holler. Whoa, whoa. Wait a minute. You've got the right idea, Birdie. But we can't do all that if we don't save our money and cut down our expenses. Yes, but how? Well, I tell you how we can cut them down. Yeah, how, Birdie? I'll take that leftover veal we had last night and make stuffed peppers. Even stuffed a pepper with almost anything. So I've discovered around here. A thing like that can be carried too far, though, Birdie. Now, Uncle Morty, we're going to cut down. You're going to have to make sacrifices at the dinner table. Yeah, but you've got to think about morale, too, my dear. Morale is very important. I don't know of anything worse for the morale than a stuffed pepper. Well, now I wouldn't say that. As a matter of fact, Birdie, I was thinking of cutting down in other ways, too. I thought one way I could cut down would be to take my lunch to the office every day and eat it at my desk, like Donald Nelson. Did you take care of that, Birdie? Oh, sure, I could. Wasn't Mr. Nelson eating? Well, I imagine he has sandwiches, two or three, or four or five. Cream cheese and jelly, probably. Wouldn't you say, Marjorie? Oh, undoubtedly. And sardines. A fish, you know, is brain food. He's got all those priorities on his mind. Sardines we've got. And maybe a piece of pie to keep up his energy. He has to handle all those people. And anything else you think would be nice. How about some pickles? Oh, Nelson is very fond of pickles. He'd have to be to take on that job. Well, I'll go make lunch right away. You know, Marjorie, I've been thinking, there's another way we could save money. What's that? If we stayed at home more in the evenings. You know, people burn up their tires and their money when they can have a better time at home. How? Well, the way people used to in the old days. You won't believe this, my dear, but I can remember spending whole evenings at home. Doing what? I'm willing to stay at home if I have to. We had fun. Sometimes we'd sit in front of the fire while Papa read aloud to us from a good book. Oh. Or we'd pop corn, maybe, or play part cheesy. Sometimes we'd gather around the piano and sing. We had fun, my dear, and we didn't have to keep putting nickels in the piano, either. Well, I love to sing. Everybody does. People ought to do more things like that. Oh, my goodness, I'm late. I've got to get out of the water works. It birdie wears at lunch. Are you finished with your skills, please? Well, bring me what you've got. I've got to go. That's what this country needs, my dear. More quiet evenings at home. We'll have to try it sometime. Yeah. Stay at home. Save money. Save tires. Keep out of trouble. Strength and family ties. We'll do it tonight. No, tomorrow night. Nothing like a brisk walk in the sunshine. Here comes those saw bones. Hello, Dr. Pettibone. Hello there, goodness me. Why, you're looking fit. Fit is a fiddle and ready for love. Glad to see you followed my instructions. Your instructions? I threw them out of the window the minute you left. I never felt better in my life. It won't last. I'll tell you a secret, Doc. I just learned how to live. Yeah, how's that? Cut down. Stop running around night. Stay at home. Most wonderful feeling in the world. Build a nice crackling fire and spend the evening in front of it with the kids around, telling stories, playing games, singing, laughing, and along toward the end of the evening, a little snack of some kind. Oh, it's wonderful. You make it sound mighty attractive. How long have you been doing this? We're starting tomorrow night. I'll be seeing you, Doc. Good morning, Judge. How are things? The water works? I'm just on my way down to find out. A fine day, isn't it? Yeah. Why so cheery, Gilde? Well, I'll tell you, Horace. For the first time in months, I'm at peace with my conscience. How did you ever manage to square that? We decided to cut down over to our house and put every spare nickel in the war box. How are you going down? Well, from now on, no more going out nights. For instance, tomorrow night, Marjorie and Leroy and I are just going to build us a nice cozy fire and spend the entire evening popping corn and roasting chestnuts. Chestnuts. I haven't roasted chestnuts since I was a kid. Sure. People forget about those things. We'll have some donuts, probably, and cider. I love it. Then we'll play games and sing songs while you're down at that lodge meeting, paying out your dues. For what? The whole evening won't cost us a penny. I envy you, Gilde. I really do. Yeah, think it over, Judge. I think I've got something there. I'm in a hurry. I just dropped in to say I got your bill this morning. And hereafter, if Leroy comes in here and tries to charge anything, don't let him have it. Well, just as you say, Mr. Gillespie. He gives you an argument. Tell him from now on he's frozen. Very well. While I'm here, you might as well let me have a couple of cigars. No, certainly. Did you say only two, Mr. Gillespie? Yes. I'm trying to cut down expenses. You ought to cut down two, PB. Well, no, I don't know about that. Everybody should. Save your money and put it in war bonds. You know a good way to save money? What's that? Stay at home nights. You do too much running around, PB. Well, no, I wouldn't say that. We all do. It's a fact. Well, I admit I enjoy a good motion picture now, man. So does Mrs. PB. And for a while there, we did go several times a year. But after Luke Chatterton retired from the films, we slowed down again. My goodness, look at the time. I can't stay here arguing with you. I've got to get out of the water works. Ew, my cigars! Oh, yes. Shall I wrap them for you? No, no, no. I'll just stick them in my pocket. They're Russian. Be glad to wrap them for you, Mr. Gilderstein. Never mind. I'm always glad to wrap any purchase however small. Oh, PB, give me those cigars. Good morning, Mr. Fitch. How are we this morning? I'd say we were a little late, Commissioner. Oh, yes. Well, I try not to make a practice of this. Well, let's get down to business. Yes. Have you got anything to report? I know everything's going all right. Is the water flowing nicely? All mains in good condition? Pressure, satisfactory? Yes. Well, I guess that takes care of the water works. Oh, any money coming in? Yes, collections are just about as usual. Good. Glad to see everything running smoothly. Miss Fitch, I wonder if I could ask you to do a few things for me. That's what I'm here for. Thank you. If you're not too busy, I wonder if you'd go out sometime today and buy me a par-cheesy board. A par-cheesy board? Uh-huh. I don't know what you have in mind, Mr. Gillish-Leave, but I do not play par-cheesy. Oh, no. I wasn't going to play it here, you know. Dear me, no. Perhaps I ought to explain. I think you might. Well, as you know, I have a niece and nephew living with me and I decided I ought to do a few things to, well, make home more attractive to them and... Keep them out of pool rooms. Yes, and juke joints. And you think par-cheesy's going to do that? Well, I thought of some other things, too. I made up a little list of things on the way down to the office. Yes. You might take this down. First, a corn popper. A corn popper. That's for popping corn. I guess that. And some popcorn. That's for the corn popper. Yeah, you guessed that, too, didn't you? And I must order some firewood. You can't pop corn without fire. We'd better get some cider. Popcorn makes you awfully thirsty, you know. And some donuts to go with the cider. Did you think of anything else? My carbonate to go with the donuts. Yeah, very good. I was going to get some games. We've got the par-cheesy. You'll be wanting bean bags. Oh, I don't know. Do you think they'll like bean bags? If they like par-cheesy, they'll like bean bags. I think we might pass up the bean bags. How about darts? Darts? Not with Leroy. He got some darts last Christmas and I couldn't sit down on New Year's. There'll be no darts. Oh, the piano. I forgot the piano. Piano? Miss Fitch, do you play the piano? Well, I once learned McDowell to a wild rose. Get your hat quickly. You've got to come out and help me buy a piano. Just a minute, Mr. Gillersleeve. Do you mind if I ask you something? No, of course not. Have you the slightest idea of what you're doing? Certainly. I told the children they could spend a quiet evening at home tomorrow and like it. The doors are going to like, I've got to put this over, Miss Fitch. I'm going to make it the darndest, quietest evening you ever saw. Let's go buy a piano. The great Gillersleeve will be with us again in a few seconds. But first, I'm sure you wise homemakers don't just shop for food these days. You shop for good nutrition for your families. That's why you all should know about par-chey margarine, the delicious bread for bread that's an economical source of important food elements. Par-chey margarine is one of the best energy foods you can serve. Now that's important. We're all working harder these days and we need plenty of wholesome energy food. Second, par-chey margarine is a reliable year-round source of vitamin A. Now that's important too because vitamin A is one of the essential vitamins. And best of all, par-chey margarine helps provide these necessary food elements, not just once a day but three times a day. Par-chey tastes so good you'll want to serve it as a spread at all your meals. You'll want to use delicious par-chey margarine in your baking and pan-frying too. So for all these reasons, ask your food dealer tomorrow for par-chey, P-A-R-K-A-Y, par-chey margarine made by Kraft. Now let's get back to Summerfield and see how the great Gillersleeve's quiet evening at home is working out. There's a pleasant fire roaring in the grate. Ease off the cat has curled up a sleep on the hearth. And the Gillersleeve is about to try an experiment on his nephew. Well, E. Roy, this is what I call living. You do? Yes, sir. Here we are snug as a bug in a rug. No cover charge, no traffic jams. And I'm about to read you one of the greatest books ever written. A classic by Sir Walter Scott. What's the name of this? Ivan Ho. Never heard of it. Well, it's a great story. You've never heard of it. You should be ashamed of yourself. Oh, yeah? If it's so good, how come they haven't made it into a picture? It's just, I daresay they have. And they probably will again. But I'm going to read you the book. Oh, gosh. Can't I wait and see the picture? You'll spoil it for me. Spoil none. You'll hear a great masterpiece. Just the way it was written. And you'll thank me for it someday. Now listen. Okay. Let's see here. Find the beginning. Oh, here. Ivan Ho, chapter one. In that pleasant district of Mary, England, which is watered by the River Don, they're extended in ancient times a large forest covering the greater part of the beautiful hills and valleys which lie between Sheffield and the pleasant town of Don Caster. Are you kidding? Leroy. The remains of this extensive wood are still to be seen at the noble seats of Wentworth, Morncliffe Park in the round Rotterham. Oh, you think so, my dear? Yeah. May I listen? Of course. I sit down here with the fire. I'll start over so you won't miss any of the story. Oh, gosh. Don't give me. I've got to hear all that again. Two sentences, Leroy. You can stand it very easily. Of course you can. What's the book on the mark? Ivan Ho. Oh. Ugh. What do you mean by that, my dear? Nothing. Just... Oh. You must have meant something. I know. You keep out of this. Have you ever read Ivan Ho Marjorie? I tried to read it, Uncle Mord. I tried when I was in high school. You tried? That's ridiculous. Once you get into it, you'll be on pins and needles. For long? Leroy, you'll listen to it whether Marjorie does or not. And if Marjorie has any regard for my wishes, she'll listen too. Now... Go ahead, Uncle Mord. Good. In that pleasant district of Mary, England, which is watered by the River Don, down the forest glade, driving before him with the assistance of fangs, the whole herd of his inharmonious charge. Well, that's the end of the first chapter. First chapter? It should be the end of the book. What do you say? Shall we have another one, children? It gets even better as it goes on. Let's save it. Shall we, Uncle Mord? He's bored too. It's nearly 8.30, and I just remembered I have sort of a tentative date with Doug. But Marjorie... He's nothing definite. But he just said if I wasn't doing anything... But do you call this not doing anything? We don't have to read if you don't want to. I brought all these little games. Well, if you're going to feel bad about it, I won't go. Well, gee, I don't like to insist, but I thought we agreed we'd all stay in tonight and just have a quiet evening at home. I know. Maybe Mords could ask Doug to come over and I could ask Piggy Bax. You don't think it would work with just the three of us, huh? And I thought it would be nice if we didn't have anybody in, but just, you know, spent the evening together. Well, come on, if that's what you want, that's what we'll do. What will you do? Okay, sure. Well, I don't want to force you. No, I think it'd be nice. I think it'd be fun. Marjorie, you're a sweet girl. How about me? Aren't I sweet too, huh? Yes, you're sweet too, my boy. Come on, let's give it a try. Shall we? You can't tell. You might even have a good time. Leroy, you get off the parcheesy board. Uh-oh. Who's that? Oh, birdies out. I'll go, Uncle Mords. Well... Must prop over and see the new piano. Hello, Trock Martin. Hello, Leela. Glad you came. Leroy, take Mrs. Ransom's coat. Oh, I can't stay but a second. I just throw it anywhere. Uncle told me about the wonderful evening he had planned for you. I'll bet y'all are having more fun. Yeah. Now, where is the piano? The piano? Right in here, in the living room. Must I close my eyes? Well, if you'd like to. There. Now you can look. It's a Wembley. I declare it just makes my fingers itch. Oh, well, try it. Go ahead. Now? Yeah, you'd never know it was second hand, would you? Play something, Leela. Oh, I could. Oh, yes, please do. Well, I'm terribly out of practice. We'll never know. Go ahead and play something. Well, I'll tell you. I'll play Trock Martin if you sing. Oh, I can't say. Please show you can, Uncle Mark. Please. Why do you want me to? Well, why do you want to play? Well, what do you want to sing? Does anybody mind if I go to the movies? Yes. You stay right here, young man. How about the road to Mandalay? No. No, I know a better one. Oh. Out in the kitchen, you'll find some donuts. Suppose you go out and get them, huh? Donuts? Yeah, and some popcorn and the popper. And bring those. Okay. Just a minute. My dream. Yeah. Suppose you go out and help Leroy, huh? Would you mind? Of course not. Good. Now. Why should there be two happy? Can you see the why all the way? Maybe that's because... Why shouldn't there be three? Oh, buzzard. My young friend Leroy. Hello. Come on, Gildy. I was till you put it in. I just this minute arrived and I can't stay but a second. Oh, don't go on my account, please. There's always room for one more, isn't there, Gildy? There always seems to be. I'm not a buzzard. Well, thank you, Leroy. I'll take two. They're small. Why beat around the bush? Take the whole platter. That's generous of you, Gildy. I hope you don't mind my dropping in like this when I got to thinking about what you were doing over here. Nice, quiet evening at home. It sounded so good to me, I just couldn't stay away. Nice, quiet evening. Look at it, I talk myself into it and I guess I've talked myself right out of it. Oh, truckie. Yeah, well, I have to have a quiet. It's very dramatic. Was a balmy some of the evening and a goodly cloud was there which well I filled Joe's bar room on the corner of the square. Answer that, somebody. Marjorie, will you? I've got it all. As you're out there at home. You know darn well I'm at home. Well, I'm happy for all of you. Well, Mrs. Branson. Yes, but I can't stay but a second. See if you're taking care of yourself. Well, popcorn. Would you have some, Doctor? Thanks. Matter of fact, I didn't have anything to do this evening, so I decided I'd just combine business with a little pleasure. Fine, I suppose I'll get a bill for this. Great getter, isn't it? Great idea you've got here, Gilda Sleep. I don't know why people go running around when they can spend an evening at home like this. Mr. Gilda Sleep was just about to do a recitation for us. Oh, good. Have you ever heard my imitation of Harry Lauder? A room? Just a minute, Doctor. If you don't mind. Yes, Mr. Gilda Sleep is now quiet, everybody. There's a balmy some of the evening, and a goodly crowd was there. The crowd's getting bigger. Come in, Peabee. I hope I'm not intruding. Sit up and take a friend this evening. Never mind the alibi, Peabee. Come on in. Make yourself at home. You know everybody. Give the man some popcorn. Leroy, you better take your bicycle and go down and get some more donuts and some cider. Again? Here's some more money. Boy, this is going to break us. Quiet, ladies and everybody. I have an announcement. Quiet. Doc has an announcement. Mr. Throckmorton P. Gilda Sleep, our popular singing water commissioner, will now give his famous recitation The Face on the Barroom Floor, the following which he will offer to wrestle any man in the crowd for $5. Come on, Gilda Sleep. No, I don't want to do it now. Oh, come on, Gilda. No, I'm all out of the mood. Oh, please, Throckmorton. I'm dying to know how it comes out. Was it about me summer evening? Miss Fitch, come in. Well, I didn't know you were giving a party, Mr. Gilda Sleep. Neither did I. I worked late at the office and I had the pass here on the way home. Don't bother to explain, Miss Fitch. It's open house here, Liberty Hall. Come on, come on. Give Miss Fitch a donut, somebody. I got a suggestion. The judge has a suggestion. I think we all vote a thanks to our friend Gilda Sleep here for a great idea. Why don't we meet together this way every Saturday night? Great idea. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. That's not my idea. After all, as Gildy says, why spend your money when you can stay at home and have an evening of fun and jolliday like this and it doesn't cost a penny. Doesn't cost who a penny? Piano, popcorn, part cheesy, eight dozen donuts. What do you say, folks? Next week, same time, same place. Just a minute, Hooker. Yes, Gildy. I've got something to say to all of you. You've invited yourselves in here. You've eaten my donuts. You've drunk my cider. And you sat by my fire and played my piano. And now, by George, you're going to listen to me. All right, Gildy. What is it, old man? It's a balmy summer evening and a goodly crowd, you say. Well, folks, I muffed it again. I was trying to do the right thing, but I let it run away with me. It's a good idea to stay home, I guess, but I didn't have to go out and buy all that stuff. That's what makes inflation. We all know that. People are making more money today than they've ever made. And there are fewer things to buy it with. If we all rush down to the store with our money in our hand and start bidding against each other for the few things left on that counter, prices will go zooming up. We've seen that happening already. That's why they're urging us now not to buy anything we don't absolutely need, but to make our old things do. If there's money burning a hole in your pocket, sock it away in war bonds and stamps. Well, I'm a fine one to be telling you this. Buying all that junk I did, I could kick myself. But I'll never do it again, folks. I swear I won't. Good night, everybody. APPLAUSE Original music on this program was composed and conducted by Billy Mills. This is Ken Coffinders speaking for the Craft Cheese Company and inviting you to tune in again next week for the further adventures of The Great Gilders League. If your family turns up its noses at leftovers, here's a tip. You can change leftover vegetables, chicken or fish into taste-tempting treats with Pabstead and do it in a hurry, too. You see, Pabstead is the delicious golden cheese food that's just right for making cheese sauces that really make leftovers sing. Just melt Pabstead in a double boiler, stir in a little milk, and season. That's all you do for a scrumptious sauce that's full of rich cheese goodness. You like Pabstead, too, for sandwiches and snacks because it slices and spreads so easily. And remember, Pabstead is an excellent source of food energy, milk protein, minerals, calcium and phosphorus, vitamin A. Yes, and Pabstead is digestible, too. So keep Pabstead on hand. Your dealer has it in the handy round flat package. Yes, tomorrow, ask for Pabstead, P-A-B-S-T, hyphen, E-T-T. Pabstead, the delicious golden cheese food of a hundred different uses. This program reaches you from Hollywood. This is The National Broadcasting Company.