 There are some people today, right now, possibly even listening to this episode, that are still pissed off about something that happened to them 10 years ago. What a waste! Today we're going to be talking about six questions that will absolutely change your life. Because one of the things that you have to realize is it's not always about having the right answers. Sometimes it's about having the right questions that you ask yourself that bring you to the right answers in your life. And I actually got a couple of these questions. I was watching a YouTube video by a guy named Ryan Holiday who talks about living a stoic life under the stoic philosophy, which is a philosophy that used to have an ancient Rome. Marcus Aurelius made this really popular. So it's a few questions from him that I saw him say that kind of inspired this. And then a few questions that I actually added in there as well. So one thing I would recommend that you do, if possible, get a pen and paper, write these down, and then when we're done, all you have to do is literally answer those questions and start to go through them and see if you can start to get some really deep answers for these questions. So I'm going to ask these questions and I'm going to kind of frame them for you. You can write them down, you can pause me if you need to, and then force yourself to answer them into not allow yourself to be surface level, but to allow yourself to go deeper than you normally would to find answers that might be hidden inside of you that are looking to be uncovered throughout this process. The first question that I want you to ask yourself is this, who am I spending time with? So there's a phrase, a quote that says, show me who you spend time with and I will tell you who you are. Show me who you spend time with and I'll tell you who you are. I don't even need to know who you are, see you or anything, but if you were to show me the top five people that you spend the most time with, the top 10 people who you spend the most time with, and I were to look at them, talk to them, interview them, all of that stuff. I could get a pretty good idea of who you are, where you are in your life, what you're doing well with, what you're struggling with, but also what direction you're heading in your life as well. It's like you've heard me say many times, the five people that you spend the most time with, you average them together, you're going to become those people. If you spend time with five alcoholics, you're probably going to be the sixth alcoholic. If you spend time with five millionaires, you're probably going to spend, you're probably going to become the sixth millionaire. And so that's why if you look at people who are, if you look at the people that you spend the most time with, there's a pretty good chance you put them all together, you think the same way as them, you are heading the same direction as them, your body is probably very similar to them. If you hang out with, if you're overweight and you just start hanging out around five people who are extremely fit, you are going to start to become more fit. Now you might not be as fit of the people who are extremely fit, but you will become more fit simply from being around them and they are going to hold you to a higher standard. They're not going to be eating things that you're eating in order to get you to where you are and you're going to start changing your habits. And when you're around people that are taking care of themselves and you see that they're waking up earlier and you see that they're focused on their business or you see that they're focused on their mindset or you see that they're focused on the relationship with their spouse or they're focused on the relationship with their children showing up as the best parent, you are going to see what they're doing and you are going to become like them. And so the first question is, who am I spending time with is to start thinking about who are the people around me that are helping me become better? Who are the people that are keeping me in the exact same position and who are the people that could possibly be making me actually worse? And so there's three different categories that I just talked about. There's the people that are going to make you better, there's the people that are going to make you worse and the people that are going to keep you exactly the same as you currently are. When you look at these people and you start to see who you're spending time with, you ask yourself who you're spending time with, also ask yourself the question, where are these people headed in their life? Like, what direction are they headed? If you look at the trajectory of their life and what direction they're going into and you say, okay, my good friend, John, that I spend a lot of time with and I look at where he's going in his life and I fast forward in my mind where John could be in five years. Is that where I also want to be in five years? Or am I looking at that going, yeah, he's not heading in a direction that I want to be? Well, if he's not heading in a direction that you want to be, maybe it's time to, you don't have to get rid of him, as I always say, just spend a little bit less time with him and maybe put a new person into your top five. I'm not saying you have to get rid of people, but just start to be very aware of the people that you spend time with and where they are helping you head and in what direction you're headed to. So if you have a massive success, you have something amazing happening at work, are these people celebrating your success? Are they rooting you on? Or is there a part of you that's like, I'm not really sure if they're happy about my success or if they're just being fake or if they're indifferent to my success. A really good friend should be somebody who celebrates your success and is happy about your success as you are. That's what you're really looking for in these types of people. So are they heading in the same direction as you or are they heading in the direction that you want to be heading? That's the first question. Who am I spending time with? Question number two, which is a big question to ask yourself is this something that I have control over? And so when you look at things that are possibly stressing you out, making you anxious, that you're worrying about maybe a little bit too much, ask yourself the question, is this something that I have control over? Because so much of what we go through in our lives, we don't have control over. We don't have control over the majority of the things in our life. We don't have the control over anybody else. We don't have control over the weather. And if you want to talk about control over other people, and I'll give you a really good example of this, I was running a Zoom earlier today for about 93 people. And these are all people who I'm helping them grow their coaching business. I'm teaching them how to grow a coaching business in my business breakthrough program. And I'm teaching them this. And there were quite a few people who showed up late, not massively late, but like one or two minutes late. Like there were a few minutes late, five minutes late, seven minutes late. And I started exactly on time and I said, hey, would it be, and I didn't preface this in any sort of way for them, but I said to them, would it be kind of irresponsible and unacceptable if you're expecting me to start this live at 12 Eastern? And I showed up at 1207 consistently. Would you guys see that as unacceptable? Let me know in the chat. Flooded in every single person like, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, that would be unacceptable. And then I said, why is it unacceptable for me to show up late, but many of you showed up a few minutes late. And so you have to be willing to hold yourself accountable for when you're showing up. But you also have to rise it. You have no control over what time other people show up, how other people act, how they're going to show up whenever they get there, when they show up, all of that stuff. And I always give the example, if you have kids or you know children and you're around a two year old, the last thing that a two year old wants to do is be controlled. And so you have to realize it is really hard to control other people. So what is it that you can control? Those are the things that I want you to focus on. Stop focusing on what you can't control and start focusing on what you can control. So things that you can control, you can control your own mindset. It might feel like sometimes you can't control your own mindset, but you are fully 100% in control of your mindset. You're in control of your attitude. You're in control of the way that you talk to yourself. You're in control of your energy throughout the day. You're in control of your actions throughout the day. You're in control of your happiness. Those are things that you can control. So the important thing is to ask yourself, is this something that I can control? Is this something I control over? And if it is a no, it is something that you should let go of and release and stop worrying about. Because if you're stressing over something that you can't control, you're going to stay stressed forever, forever. If you're trying to control that thing, because if you have no control over it, what will make you stress out more than trying to control something that you can't control? So don't waste your time, your money, your energy, none of those things on things that you cannot control. Only focus on what you can control because those are things that are going to move the needle in your life. So that's question number two, is do I have control over this? Question number three, which is a very important question, that I would wake up and ask yourself each morning for the next week, two weeks, and just see what comes up. What does my ideal day look like? What does my ideal day look like? I had this practice that one of my mentors years ago had me go through, it's called the perfect Tuesday. And where he had us sit down and design what our perfect Tuesday would look like from every single moment, from the second we woke up to the second we went to bed. And the reason why is because Tuesdays are just normal days. They're just days. It's not like a Friday where you're excited for the weekend. It's not a Monday where you're like, oh, the weekend, I'm still kind of hung over from the weekend. Tuesdays are just Tuesdays. They're not even the middle of the week. They don't even get a special name, like Wednesday gets hump day. You know, it's not Thursday where Thursday's Friday Eve and then Friday you have Friday. So it's like Tuesday's just a normal day most of the time. What do you want your perfect Tuesday look like? What do you want your ideal day to look like? When you wake up, what time do you want to wake up? Where do you want to wake up? What do you want your morning routine to look like? Do you want to wake up in the morning? What do you want to eat? Who do you want to spend your time with? What do you want to do in your business or in the job that you have or the career that you have or the children that you spend time with? You know, what do you want to do in all of the morning? Plan out your entire morning and what you want that to look like. And then you start to shift into the noon to afternoon time, what do you want that to look like? What do you want to be eating? Do you want to be eating with other people? Who are those people that you want to be eating with? What do you want this ideal day to look like? What do you want the afternoon to look like? What do you want the evening to look like? Dinner, what type of dinner do you want to have? What type of food do you want to be eating? Who do you want to be eating dinner with? After dinner, what do you want that to look like? Do you want to be spending time with your family, with the cell phone away, with Netflix away, with the iPads away, with all of that? Do you want to spend time with just your family? Do you not have a family yet? Maybe you want to spend your time on your own personal growth or building your business. What does your ideal day look like? If you don't know what your ideal day looks like, it's gonna be really hard to build into that ideal day. And so the third question that will help you grow is what do I want my ideal day to look like? Question number four is what am I missing out on by choosing to worry or be afraid? What am I missing out on by choosing to worry or be afraid? Notice I use the word choosing because worrying and being afraid is a choice. It might not always feel like a choice. But if you're worrying, you're allowing yourself. You are choosing to stay in that state. You are choosing, whether you realize or not, to focus on those things that are causing you worry. And if you've been listening long enough, you realize the statistics, I say it all the time, psychologists found that about 85% of the stuff that you worry about never even actually happens. 85% of what you worry about never happens. So if you're focusing on those things, that means 85% of the stuff that you spend your energy, your mental and physical energy worrying about never actually happens. Imagine what could happen if you replaced that mental energy that you have been choosing to work and waste on just worrying and being afraid and whatever it is that you're focusing on. Imagine if you took those things that don't happen and you were to focus on things that you do have control over that you can do and stop wasting your energy and your mental capacity on those things that you have no control over. So what am I choosing to worry about or to be afraid of? That's question number four. Once again, you can pause me at any time, just go for it. Just start asking yourself these questions if your brain's already starting to go. Question number five is what is the most important thing in my life? One of the things that I found with a lot of people is that they don't have a whole lot of focus as to what their most important things are. So if you can identify what the most important thing in your life is, you can build a life around that. So for some of you listening, it might be your family. It might be your children. It might be your brother, sister, your parents. It might be your spouse. It might be your boyfriend, girlfriend. What is the most important thing in your life? And what do you want to build around that most important thing in your life? For some of you, it might be family. For some of you, it might be your happiness. What do I need to do to build a life around that happiness and to create more happiness in my life? For some of you guys, it might be love. Like love might be the most important thing for you. Even if you're just single, love might be the most important thing. Well, do I have friends that I can love on more? Do I, can I love on myself more? Can I make loving on myself the most important thing that I do? If I'm single, I have nobody that I live with, I might live in a different city or a different state than my entire family. Can I focus on loving myself if love is the most important thing? So you start to build a life focusing around what the most important thing is to you so that the most important thing grows and gets better because what you focus on, you will get more of, what you appreciate appreciates. Okay, it might be your freedom. Your freedom might feel like the most important thing. To be able to be free and to travel and to build your own business so that you can go around the world and do some work from Bali and go to Tulum and do all of those things. Your freedom might be the most important thing. Well, how can I focus on the most important? Number one, identify what the most important thing is. And then number two, focus on that thing and how it can make that thing much better than it already is. This needs to be your North Star in your life. And what I mean by North Star is that if I'm heading towards the North Star, you're heading in that direction no matter what. So if I'm like, hey, this is the number one thing in my life, I'm heading towards that direction of this North Star and everything that I do at all points in time, it might have to move and shift and there might be detours and there might be a path might change a little bit but the actual direction of where I'm heading never changes. So that becomes your North Star. What is your North Star in your life? You have to know what your North Star is. You have to know what you're standing for because if you don't stand for anything, you're gonna fall. If you don't stand for something, you're gonna fall for anything. And so you have to know what that most important thing is. And then number six, another question to ask yourself often is will I remember this in five years? The majority of the things that stress you out right now that have been stressing you out today that have stressed you out yesterday that the day before that, you're not going to remember any of this. You're really not going to. And so you ask yourself, will I remember this in five years? One of my very first mentors used to always say this to me, he used to always say, if I won't remember it in five years, I don't spend more than five minutes thinking about it. I don't spend more than five minutes worrying about it, stressing out whatever it is. Life, hey, life is up and down. It's crazy. It's all over the place. It's beautiful. It's a lot of different things. And so if it's something that you won't remember in five years, don't spend more than five minutes freaking out about it. But if you want to, if something stressful comes up, if you get bad news, give yourself five minutes if you want to, you can scream, you can throw things, you can throw pillows, you can break things, whatever it is that you want to do, you give yourself five minutes to freak the hell out about that thing. After that five minutes is up, you know, set a timer on your phone. After that five minutes is up, you move on and you go on and you do something different with your life and you stop worrying about the things that don't matter. And you go, all right, if I'm not gonna remember this conversation with this person that said this thing that I didn't enjoy in five years, I'm not gonna spend more than five minutes on this thing because if it's not gonna be remembered in five years, is it really even worth the five minutes in the first place? And so the question is, will I remember this in the next five years? If you can't remember it, if it doesn't seem like something that's going to be, you know, a big life-changing event that you're gonna remember in five years, spending more than five minutes is a waste of your time, it's a waste of your energy, you don't get time back, you don't get the energy back throughout the day. So focus on, all right, I'm gonna give myself five minutes to freak out about this and then what I'm gonna do is I'm gonna start focusing on those things that are the most important to me. I have grieved this relationship or this friendship or this person that just said this to me or this, you know, fire that I have to put out at work, I'm gonna deal with it, I'm gonna freak out for five minutes and then I'm going to get moving. I'm not gonna spend the next day, two days, week, five weeks freaking out about this thing. There are some people today, right now, possibly even listening to this episode, that are still pissed off about something that happened to them 10 years ago. What a waste. You have a very precious life that you have in a very limited amount of time and mental energy. Stop wasting it on things that do not matter. And if you won't remember it in five years, it does not matter that much. Okay, thanks so much for watching this video. If you wanna learn even more about Master Your Mind, click right here and watch this video as well. If you do this, it will change your life. It'll make you feel like a completely different person. Please, please, please try this out.