 What are you doing? I'm leisureing. Can't you see what the fuck I'm wearing, bitch? This is called a leisure suit. Can't you see that I'm fucking leisureing? I can see it. Hey, what's up you guys? Yes. So Julian just got back from his trip. We haven't seen each other in a couple of days. We're both a little exhausted. This was actually all inspired by the fact that I bought this leisure suit. It's literally called the leisure suit. So that's what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna leisure in it. That means everyone around me's gotta do shit for me. Who's wearing the leisure suit? You. Me. That's right. Can you pick those up for me? You just threw them there. I'm wearing a leisure suit. You can reach them. I'm wearing a leisure suit. And that's how the leisure suit works. I hate it. Anyways. Pretty much all we can handle right now is just feeding ourselves. But I thought it would actually be a really fun video to make because a lot of you guys requested I make cooking videos on Julian's vlog channel. Actually, we have something called J and J's kitchen where we just cook food. Instead of just forcing my boyfriend to cook for me, which would be nice and fun. And I mean, I am wearing the leisure suit. I decided that I think it would be pretty cool if we did my boyfriend cooks my favorite meal because I'd say that my favorite meal is a little bit interesting, especially if you have a favorite meal that like is not like a cheeseburger. It's very specific so that while they cook it for you, you can wear your leisure suit and tell them everything that they're doing wrong and that it doesn't taste right and to keep trying, you know what I'm saying? Wait, that's what we're doing? Yeah. You're gonna cook me my favorite meal and I'm gonna critique you the whole time in my leisure suit. You can't even take a sip without laughing. My favorite meal happens to be a delicacy from upstate New York. Bidge is called a garbage plate, okay? So for those of you that don't know, traditionally it's half mac salad, macara salad, half like home fries or potatoes, two cheeseburger patties on top and then it's covered in like a meat sauce, ketchup mustard, hot sauce, the whole nine. It's fucking delicious. I haven't had one in years because I don't eat meat anymore. But I see these ones on pictures and they have like fucking french fries in them and I'm like, first of all, you know I did. They're using brown mustard on there. Like it's a disaster. The internet needs to clean their shit up because no one apparently knows how to make a true vegan garbage plate. So Julian's gonna try. I'm gonna lesia and critique. Can I have some at the end? Yeah, you can have some. And for those of you from other countries, you wondering why Americans got so fat? It's because we invent things like garbage plates. We already went to whale foods and got a bunch of stuff. My somatos is a little bit like this. They're not full cheeseburgers. That's what people fail to understand about a garbage plate is that they're like, they're like smash burgers. They're very thin burgers and they go on top and you can get them with all different kinds of stuff like hot dogs or like hamburgers and hot dogs. It's just, it's terrible for you. We're gonna do a traditional cheeseburger plate. I literally have never seen a video where anyone's attempted a proper vegan garbage plate. So I'm excited to like- It's probably because- Do it first. There's nobody from Rochester that's the vegan except for me. I'm kidding. There's probably like five. Let's do max salad first, then go into the meat sauce. Yeah. Then we cook the potatoes and then the burgers. Yeah, burgers are last. Would you like some chapstick? No. Can you show you the one with some chapstick? Yes. So just like my father, Babish always says, you gotta have a little tray of kosher salt, a little tray of freshly ground pepper. That seems so unnecessary. We're making a garbage plate. Why are you making all fancy? So we're cooking some LA tap water. Oh, what are you doing? I'm in a leisure suit, so get chopping. By far my least favorite thing in the kitchen. Boy, you chopping vegetables, like chill out. Clean up your dusty knife mess. You just gonna leave that? I'm a Virgo, please clean it up. All right, do you know how much of this you're cooking? Yeah, it says two celery ribs, which is why I just chopped all of them off of the head. It says a fourth of the red onion, but I'm done for a half. Okay, it's not your meal. It's my meal. And I, unlike the rest of the sheeple in upstate New York, do not believe that Nick Tahos has the best garbage plate. I really don't. Oh, holy shit. I really don't. At me, fight me. They might have invented the garbage plate, but it is not the best. Henrietta Hots. This right here, this is what we call some Aries bullshit. Julian, there is not, this is not the correct side of the pot and water to cook this in. Just a little bit of the light stroke. Yeah, don't get, oh my God. Why don't you look at that mince right there? It's gonna be a little finer. No, we can't. It was all stuck to the bottom of the pot because there was too much pasta in there. It was fine. Julian has not made the sauce that goes on the max and give me the recipe for it. One thing I do know is that you're gonna make it bitter tasting somehow. Everything that Julian makes is so fucking bitter and he's like, should we add more lemon? I'm like, no. Couple mayonnaise. We're using just mayo, dill pickles and a little pickle juice. You need two teaspoons of sugar and one and a half tablespoons of Dijon mustard. This, as far as I'm concerned, is the only Dijon mustard that exists. The switcher, it's nasty. That's a lot of salt and pepper. That's a lot. That's all sugar. Go away, it's my favorite meal. I'm making it for you. I'll go ahead and put this back because I know you're just gonna leave it out here until next week if I don't. You'll probably have chopped those a lot finer. Kind of thick chops. I do have thick chops. Kind of thick chops, Julian. You know what's thick? Is the lens of the camera inside the bowl. God. All right, can you give me a little space to breathe? Hey, how do you spell cans backwards? Snack. Boy, you looking like one. Did you taste it? It's pretty sweet. You want to taste it? Oh, I don't want like a bite. I just want to taste. Oh, don't get out of my leisure suit. That's right. It's good? Don't fuck it up. I'm not. Don't touch it. I'm not. Don't put anything in it. Don't say it doesn't need some lemon. Don't make it bitter as hell. That's perfect. Does it need lemon though? No. Are we gonna mix it up real good, nice and good, nice and real good? I'm actually like so surprised that that tastes like right. My favorite part of this is the back-handed compliments. I think that when you put it in the fridge, it'll like. Let's get out a little more now. Well, can I also maybe suggest that there was a shit ton of fucking water in the pasta after you drained it? Julian? Oh, oh. Talk to me. I'm not gonna mess with that. I'm just doing a tiny, tiny bit and then a little bit of. I'm not getting the mustard. I'm wearing a leisure suit. I mean, now it's fucking mayo-ing, Julian. Jenna, you're wrong. You don't have to touch the tools. I'm cooking. Then we can work on the hot sauce. But you can. Cause I'm wearing a leisure suit, so. A lot of people think that the hot sauce that goes on top of a garbage plate is like hot sauce. But it's not. It's more like a chili, almost. It's just like a meat sauce. It's not particularly like super spicy. That's what makes everything extra gross. Hey, Julian. Is you crying, baby? Yeah, it's emotional, man. You don't even have family. Should I put emotional in the title of this video? Is it right this season? You have to warn people somehow. You can't just bamboozle and make this emotion. Does it need lemon, you think? No! No lemon, no lime, no citrus of any kind. You a poet girl? Yeah. I'm feeling pretty relaxed. Except for the fact that everything that you're doing right now is stressing me out. Is this one garlic loaf or four? That's four garlic cloves. I cooked your favorite meal. What would I cook you? My reflex is to say sushi, but vegan sushi really ain't there yet. So probably Pad Thai. What a boring video. Are you kidding me? Watch your mouth when you're talking about my son Pad Thai. By the way, we're naming her son Pad Thai. Listen to this. My idea, if we have a boy child, I want to name him San Frans Solomita. Come on, this is a really good name. San, is San his first name and Fran his middle name? Yes. How about, okay, Julian, get a load of this. Jerry Seinfeld Solomita. Then we can totally mark it in our videos as every single one of them has Jerry Seinfeld in it. It says just fry. It doesn't say at center. And when I see fry, I just see high. Good way to remember it. No, no, no. Onion and garlic. Fry high. No. Good way to remember it. No. Look at that. That's so violent. It's actually a little low. And while it's cooking down, we're going to get down. Yeah. And you never see so amazing with your choice of kitchen utensils. That is the wrong thing to cook with. No, no, I'm cooking with this. Fran. I've already got to have a few utensils in play. Julian, he's already trying to make qualifications. So there's rest. I just want to add a little hot sauce. I told you, it's not hot sauce. Babe, it's like a chili meat sauce. You can add cranks right hot on top of it. You want to dump it in there. So just a little? No. It's not your recipe. Look at me. Look at me. I'm too glad I picked such a simple recipe as my dad did. This is the least simple recipe I've ever cooked. When you're critiquing me at the end, can you please remember that I've never made this ever? Yeah. I've never made a vegan garbage plate either. What is that? Oh, who are you fighting? They go in at the same time. 1%. I'm a very bold. Look at that. This breeds sophistication. Just like me. This is where I come from. Me in a nutshell. Julian, that's not the potato peeler. Julian, that's not the potato peeler. That's the vegetable peeler. Julian, no. No. Why don't you just do that over the garbage and then it just goes right into the garbage? I always miss. That sounds like a you problem. This is our kitchen right here. We need fire extinguishers in all corners of the kitchen. Everyone does. Proper fire safety. Yeah, but especially you, boy. Did add some water for Julian because he does not know the consistency. And I do. Should we check on the max solid? It definitely looks like vegan mayo. It looks okay. What are you doing now? You gonna put these potatoes in this fried boy? First you gotta unplug all the other heat electronics on this side. Plugged in the deep fire. So we're gonna dump those in, crisp them up, cook them, and then season them with a little salt and pepper and just have them ready to be on the plate. Do you think all of those are gonna fit in there? Because there was an episode of J&J's Kitchen where we made fried pickles and there was too much stuff in there. Oh my God. Ooh boy! Julian! I lowered the amount of oil since that scenario. We have washed dishes. Did you get a little swirl going? You got a little swirl going? You're up? And then they're washed. They're fine now. You could eat ice cream out of this. I doubt that. I doubt that. All right, Julian, so what's your idea now? Okay, picture this. I'm nervous. My idea is you've pretty much helped me get to where I need to go. Now, I wanna put together the last few steps so you can be a little bit surprised by the time of product. It'll be great. Can I ask one request? Yes. Don't put the ketchup and mustard on for me. Of course not. We gonna do it. So you and I, we're talking. All right, you and I are gonna figure this out while she seems to be really down with this plan. I'm feeling very leisurely. All right, so let's, you- I'm up? Oh my God. Just go, you can sit right there. You can smell all the goodness, but I don't know, get fucking lost. What we're doing over here is we are gonna heat up this pan, put some oil on it, get it really, really hot for these burgers. I'll just be over here putting on Chad's things. What we're looking at right now, I think this is looking pretty good. You gotta season them right after They come out of the fryer. These are the taters. Back to Burger Town USA. Pass it all on and press down with something heavy. Just a tiny bit of salt and pepper. All right, so those are just gonna melt really quick. We're gonna circle back to our final station where we're gonna assemble everything. You're not gonna see my lovely face. I'm just gonna show you the food. Hold on, I'm leisurely. I'm so fucking excited right now. I have not had a garbage plate in so long. Julian has never had a garbage plate. So this is how you do it, okay? You gotta just put it all over the whole thing. Then you need yellow mustard. None of that fancy shit. And you gotta mustard it all up. It does look like garbage. But then there's crazy people that like, you know, probably eat their Chipotle bowl like one little bite at a time. No! You need to cut it all up. You need to make it like homogenous, you know what I'm saying? Garbage plate! I'm gonna cry. I feel like someone's favorite meal says so much about them. You know what mine says about me? I'm fucking trashed. Look it! Oh my God, I made it. Oh my God. Are you excited? Yeah, I wanna watch it. Julian, this actually looks so good. This is what the fuck! Everyone watching this right now is like, I'm never going to upstate New York. That place looks gross. And you're right, it's gross! I want like your reaction to tasting it because you've heard me talk about it since we met each other. Look it, this is the perfect garbage plate. Look it, that's what it's supposed to look like. Ready? I'm gonna cry. Is it good? I'm gonna cry. It tastes like a garbage though! Obviously the burger is different but the way that you crisp it up makes it taste just like a fucking garbage plate. I'm like, I'm gonna cry. Actual tears. So just a bunch of ketchup, then a bunch of mustard. Yeah, you can add hot sauce if you want. Listen to that sound. That sound. That's a taste I've never had before. Right? That is wild. Isn't that good? It's really fucking good. I like can't group it in with a burger and I can't quite group it in with like barbecue food. It's like somewhere, this is- Oh yeah, we know what's- Something about having like mac salad with like a burger. The potatoes and burger. Now imagine Julian, it's 2 a.m. and you're wasted right now. Tell me that's not the best that you've ever eaten. Yeah, holy shit, this is really good. You made me my favorite meal. This is so fucking good. I feel like you treated me like the princess but I am not. This is so fantastic. The onions, the pickle. Can you give it a score out of 10? This is 10 out of 10. No way. I didn't think that a vegan, also gluten-free, I did not think that you could make it taste like a garbage thing but it really tastes just fucking like it. I was a little skeptical of the Beyond meat and the meat sauce, like that it was gonna be the wrong texture but it does not. It fucking made it. This is really nice. I'm so glad you like it. Did you have fun making it? Yeah, it was a lot of fun. I'm excited to eat the rest of them. I'm excited to like make this more. It's sort of like a labor intensive recipe. I'm sorry for doing that to you but look at this thing, I'm a fancy bitch. Look at this plate. Sometime I'll have to make your favorite food for you. Yeah, that sounds good. Thank you, I love you. You're welcome, I love you. Although we did modify some of the recipes, I'm gonna put the recipes that we did use in the description so in case you ever wanted to try this absolute pile of trash, you can. But yeah, that's it. I just thought we'd make a nice video, spend some time together. I could yell at you about being a tornado in the kitchen. Make sure you subscribe to my channel and put it on your face every Wednesday slash Thursday. And you know what I'm gonna do? I'm just gonna fucking leave you my ass off with my favorite fucking food right now. You're cute. Oh man, the wine just really bounces off of the plate. You know what we should do next time? Garbage plate cam. Put a GoPro in the middle of the garbage plate and just look at the shit from the inside. That's disgusting. What's wrong with you? God, you're so unrefined. Do you want me to fax you the list or email it? Fax it to me. Okay. I feel like it's such a nice thing to do though with your significant other is to like have them cook your favorite food if they've never made it, especially if they've never made it. So you can micromanage them the entire time until they literally tell you to get out of the kitchen at the end. Turn on the tab, baby. Turn it off, Julian. The bar's been set high. You did the impossible. You made me a garbage plate. Boy, this is my heart on a plate. You should get your heart checked. And don't forget, someday we will have a son and his name will be San Fransolim. San Fransolim, if you're watching this video, see you. All right, see you guys next week.