 G'day, I'm from the Australian government. Do you love koalas? How cute are they? No, look at this one. What about trees? Here's a koala in a tree. You like that, hey? Well, fuck you then, because Australia's koala population is declining so rapidly. Your grandkids will only ever see one of these very bastards in a show bag. But relax, it's just a natural consequence of the regional forest agreements we introduced back in the 90s. Just like your inability to afford your own home today is a natural consequence of this bullshit from back then. With that and those smashed-avo-brekkies you scoff all day, it's all part of our fuck it policy, making sure there'll be less good shit left for our kids to enjoy. We introduced fuck it soon after we invaded Pandora, I mean Australia, by obliterating half of our ancient native forest. And now, thanks to those RFA's and the highest rate of land clearing in the developed world, we're doing our best to destroy what's left, which is why so many koalas have nowhere left to live, just like all you first home buyers out there. Oh, and if Barney gets his way, this little fella will soon be homeless and bugger off too. But look on the bright side, logging jobs have actually, they've also declined due to mechanisation and, well, the fact there's few native trees left to log. So as you can see, it's been a lose-lose strategy. And that's why we're planning to renew those RFA's for another two decades. So we can turn what's left of this into paper, coffee cups and shit tickets, instead of using plantations, alternative fibres, and protecting the remaining wilderness in proposed sanctuaries like the Great Koala National Park and the Great Forest National Park, which would create stacks of ongoing tourism jobs, stunning recreational areas, a secure home for furry buggers, and help avoid epic climate change fail since our eucalypt forests store more carbon than any other forest in the world. Koalas in trees. Cute. But fuck it. Authorised by the Australian Department for Intergenerational Theft. © BF-WATCH TV 2021