 Bullet trains a new action film starring Brad Pitt and contrary to the parents who brought their seven-year-old child into this film It's not geared towards kids although to be fair. There are a lot of Thomas the Tank engine references Arguably too many Bullet trains oh hang on I got a call from Sandra Bullock doing her sexy voice on the phone. Uh-huh. Oh Okay, she's saying you should subscribe to the channel. I mean I didn't say it Sandra did And this is a remote control. I couldn't find my phone. I don't want to leave so that's what we're that's where we're at The premise of bullet train is a simple one We have a rogue's gallery of unsavory individuals boarding this high-speed vehicle and their goal is to essentially kill each other Actually each character has a very specific goal in mind But when it all boils down there's gonna be a lot of death on this train and while this premise is simple on paper Holy crap the final product is not there are a lot of plot threads going on and most of it Doesn't really add up until the final moments of the picture one of which doesn't even add up until the credits start to roll So stick around for a minute or so before that little ending shows up Then you can get that one final aha moment in a picture That's full of them the term subverting expectations has been ruined over the years mainly by people working on Disney films But this movie does it right Brad Pitt gets top billing here and even though he is the main character There are several other actors that have just as much screen time Lemon and tangerine being amongst a couple and they were fantastic Aaron Taylor Johnson hasn't impressed me in a movie since kick-ass So I thought his whole acting career was kind of a fluke a one-off But man, he's good in this it took me a long time to realize it was even him he and Brian Terry Henry have a Fantastic chemistry it reminded me of older movies like snatch where there's some really funny back-and-forth Dialogue and it really does a good job of breaking up some of the action moments and there are some amazing action sequences When the trailers came out I thought okay It's John Wick on a train the fighting the action isn't quite presented the same way as that This is from the guy who did atomic blonde deadpool 2 and fast and the furious presents Hobbes and Shaw So it's far more over the top than wick gets the films incredibly stylized to it's got a theme and it sticks with it Now one of the turnoffs for me in the first half of this picture We're the massive amount of backstories taking place. This is not a linear story There are like five or six flashbacks some going back a year some going back decades But just like the train these passengers are on you too have to stay on board this script because it will get revealed By the time things start to wrap up and I think it pays off tremendously well that said We're again at two hours my biggest gripe with films as they overstay their welcome Although I was really enjoying this film all the way through it could have been tightened up quite a bit We could have caught off 15 20 minutes and had a perfect running film instead the train goes a little long It goes off the tracks and I think I could probably come up with a few more train analogies But I'm gonna leave it there when I saw the different actors in this the first thing that jumped on my mind was okay Stunt casting we have Joey King for the younger audience. We got bad bunny for a different audience I think I don't know they were all really good here and Joey King specifically Not really a fan of hers. I guess I only know her from the kissing booth and that princess movie on Hulu Both of which were pretty bad. She was actually great in this and for the first time I said, okay I get it Aaron Taylor Johnson. I get it Joey King. You deserve your spot in Hollywood What we have here is a very fun very adult no nudity or or penetration of any sort short for penetration But there's a lot of swordplay knife throwing Stabbing just different types of death across the board very creatively handled most of the time man I hope that seven-year-old likes Thomas the tank engine. She's gonna feel pretty out of place watching this movie Don't go into this film expecting realism not even to the level John Wick gives us which is already kind of cartoonish here Though it's intentionally over-the-top massively stylized I really think that the director wanted to do a domino film based on the character from Deadpool 2 But didn't have the rights or they just didn't want to make that movie and he thought okay How can I use that luck angle again and really drive that home as the central point of this picture? Along with being able to do these larger-than-life moments and he succeeds on all fronts I had a hell of a time with this movie go in knowing it's a bit long go in knowing It's not meant to be taken seriously you get a ton of great action a good soundtrack Fantastic performances. I just I don't see how this is a miss for many Oftentimes along with a review you get a bonus, which is the movie theater experience the audience was you know, okay? Kind of garbage my row had three phone users their screen brightness was all the way down at least So I would just get a little fireflies popping up here and there nothing. I've had worse. I've had a lot worse The movie started we had about five minutes of technical difficulties from the dipshits behind us There is a boo boo and yogi bear behind us who brought an entire picnic basket in they set up a nice shop a buffet of sorts They had like tin cans rattling around dropped them on the ground four or five times I think there was a canteen it really was quite the experience like they were setting up a potluck dinner from 1935 well there are my thoughts on bullet train. Let me know in the comments if you're excited about this I was really happy to see Brad Pitt again having some fun I miss Brad Pitt from from snatch and fight club that that's my Brad Pitt And I have to say this has been a pretty solid year so far for movies that aren't superhero related All right, take care. 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