 This is Mike with the 21 report and behind-the-scenes in Orlando, Florida for the 21 convention 2017 10-year anniversary event Sitting alongside Alan Roger Curry Alan welcome to the show. Thank you for having me Mike It's been a pleasure having you here this year Alan This is your first ever event and we are so happy to have you here Before we get into some questions I was wondering if you could give everyone a quick overview of your talk and why you chose to talk about it Well, my talk mainly centered on My first book which is called mode one Actually interesting enough have two subtitles my original subtitles mode one let the women know what you're really thinking But now I have an updated version called mode one Whisper into a woman's ear what is really on your mind and the gist of this book is encouraging men to employ more of a upfront Highly self-assured straight to the point verbal communication style and I outlined four modes of verbal communication in that book Which is mode one mode two mode three and mode four. I'll give you a quick gist of each I just actually mentioned mode one. That's that's when you whatever your desires interests and intentions are You let them known to a want you let it be known to a woman in a manner that's very upfront to the point Mode two is a more cautious more polite Well-mattered way of expressing your desires and interests to a woman mode three That's when you either keep your desires and interests totally to yourself You don't basically you don't approach women at all or if you approach them You just have a conversation is full of what I would like to refer to as trivial small talk Yeah, and mode four is when you have undertones of bitterness Resentment and even misogyny towards a woman while you're communicating with her So that's I guess mainly what you do with clients is you try and get them from mode Four to one or three to one or two to one exactly. That's exactly so in your talk. You mentioned something That you called the breakthrough moment The breakthrough moment that guys have when they work with you can you talk to that and explain what you mean by it? Yeah, I think not only as it relates to verbal communication But I think in various aspects of life whether it be your career Dental with friends dealing with women We all have a certain degree of fears and egotistical insecurities That are going to be probably to the day where six feet under are going to provide challenges for us But what I refer to as a breakthrough is When you're able to conquer a long-standing fear that was in your head or conquer a long-standing Egotistical insecurity that was in your head or it could be something simple as you weren't as Motivated to achieve this goal or this objective And all of a sudden you developed a powerful sense of motivation like to finish college I would call that a motivational related breakthrough others are considered a confidence and or Manly backbone breakthrough. So in my presentation, I highlighted some fictional characters from certain movies that I felt had a Manly backbone breakthrough one would be the fictional character of George McFly From the popular movie back to the future He was this very wimpy guy who allowed this bully of a guy named Biff to always just bully him but towards in in the movie finally stood up for himself and When they went back to present day You saw that his whole lifestyle Was totally different because of that breakthrough because if he had continued to live this wimpy life We let people just step all over him his life. Well, he wasn't honestly had the life of a loser But he did yeah, so you talked about having a backbone as a man What's the quickest way to get there? How can a man develop his backbone? Is it something to develop over time or is it as you said it's like a breakthrough? Yeah, I think it definitely happens over a period of time It could be a period of weeks could be a period of months be a period of years I was in some cases it could be a period of decades but I Think the step number one to develop a backbone is to allow other people's Expectations of you and opinions of you and criticisms of you to remain in their head instead of yours I think there's too many people particularly guys who walk around well What is this person thinking me? What is that person thinking me? Well, if I say this this way, I ain't gonna have a negative reaction to it If I do this I didn't have something to say just let them have whatever thoughts they're gonna have and You decide you ask yourself who do I want to be as a man? Who do I want to be as a man? And once you answer that question for yourself, you move forward in life with that choice And if you happen to get negative blowback from it, so it just let it happen. So be it Yeah, awesome. So Alan a lot of your work seems to be around Approaching women. I'm curious to know what is your thoughts on relationships That's a good question. I get that's that here and there a lot of it is the same I think Once you enter into a relationship Matter of fact, I'm glad you asked that question because I've talked to two guys since I've been in this convention And one comment they made they said like one guy I was at dinner with he said Alan Sadly, he's about to he's in the process of getting divorced But he said the mistake I made was thinking and once I got married I could just go on automatic pilot And that my wife it was just a foregone conclusion that she would always respect me as a man But he said you got to always be on top of your game and I said that's true So one lesson I would have for me and particularly related to a lot of themes of this conference I talk about manhood masculinity You can't start off being an alpha male and then going to a long-term relationship or a marriage saying Okay, well now I can let my guard down be a better male No, a woman will lose respect for you a woman needs to know that she can follow your lead That's very important for women. They need to know that they can follow your lead And if you show them any behavior that suggests that your lead is not worth being followed They lose respect for you. So that reply applies both single man and men in long-term relationships So Alan, this was your first time speaking at the 21 convention. I've got to ask What what's your thoughts about the convention? How is the experience been so far? totally exceeded my expectations totally and Yeah, I didn't know honestly what to expect I've had some experiences with other you know More specifically just dating relationships oriented events They had the strengths. They had their weaknesses But I just didn't know what to expect and number one. I was extremely impressed when I learned I never knew that Anthony was a young Yeah, so the fact that he's got this ball rolling when he was 17 just blew my mind away and The diversity of the attendees really impressed me And I've been hearing so many stories shared not only just in terms of race and ethnicity but in terms of socioeconomic background geographically and It's so well organized and the speakers are so powerful Like again, I don't want to disparage any other speaking event But there's some speaking events where they had its percentage of good speakers, but that isn't just speakers rise shake my head like Why is this guy even speaking? Nobody has provoked that reaction for me at this conference I've listened attentively to every speaker and they all had great knowledge Wisdom and insight to share with the audience. That's great to hear Alan Before we wrap this up if people want to learn more about you Where's the best place they can go? The best place would be WWW that direct approach Dating as one word direct Approach dating calm. That's my main website I have another website for women and couples called mold one net M-O-D-E-O-N-E net forward slash training and Finally, you can find my books on Amazon comm I have a by a great biography on wikipedia dot org and I'm on just about all the social media Facebook Twitter The rest awesome Brilliant so with that you can get first access to Alan's talk On 21 university.com or you can click in the link below this video Alan thanks again for being here. Thank you back so much being great having you This has been Mike with Alan Roger Curry signing off for the 21 report. Thank you