 Death of an old old man read by Julian Rindtut. Oh God How I am frightened Now that I'm alone, I don't have to hide it. I don't have to hide anything any longer. I Can let my face go because no one can see me Because there's 21,000 feet between me and them and because now that it's happening again I couldn't pretend any more even if I wanted to Now I don't have to press my teeth together And tighten the muscles of my jaw as I did during lunch when the corporal brought in the message When he handed it to tinker and tinker looked up at me and said charlie. It's your turn. You're up next As if I didn't know that As if I didn't know that I was next up as if I didn't know it last night when I went to bed And at midnight when I was still awake and all the way through the night At one in the morning and at two and three and four and five and six and at seven o'clock when I got up As if I didn't know it while I was dressing and while I was having breakfast And while I was reading the magazines in the mess playing shove hate me in the mess Reading the notices in the mess playing billiards in the mess I knew it then and I knew it when we went into lunch While we were eating that mutton for lunch And when the corporal came into the room with the message It wasn't anything at all It wasn't anything more than when it begins to rain because there is a black cloud in the sky When he handed the paper to tinker I knew what tinker was going to say before he had opened his mouth. I knew exactly what he was going to say So that wasn't anything either But when he folded the message up and put it in his pocket and said finish your pudding you've got plenty of time That was when it got worse Because I knew for certain then that it was going to happen again That within half an hour I would be strapping myself in and testing the engine and signaling to the airmen to pull away the chocks The others were all sitting around eating their pudding Mine was still on my plate in front of me and I couldn't take another mouthful But it was fine when I tightened my jaw muscles and said Thank god for that. I'm tired of sitting around here picking my nose It was certainly fine when I said that It must have sounded like any of the others just before they started off And when I got up to leave the table and said see you at tea time That must have sounded all right too But now I don't have to do any of that Thank christ. I don't have to do that now I can just loosen up and let myself go I can do or say anything I want so long as I fly this aeroplane properly Sample complete ready to continue