 Fucking I've got something to say. I've got something to say to every Time to get Harry out there. Hi There he is. Listen, buddy If you have soft toilet seat covers Literally kill yourself Soft toilet seats. Does anyone in the world like them in any way look we get to the arena, right? I was like, okay. Everything's pretty great here. Everything's going well With the soft toilet seats and I so so I'm in the bathroom trying to take a shit All right trying but I can't because soft toilet seats just make it like I don't know I feel like I'm already sitting in poop. I don't want to contribute more to the problem. So I'm in there and I'm like, oh, okay. Well, this isn't working out I can't let you go to another bathroom in this fucking house and see what that's like, but no This guy informs me that they're all like that that every fucking toilet in this house has a soft toilet seat Yes, this is an open letter to the maker Dan soft toilet seat. I'm coming right fucking for you. You the creator of soft toilet seats Don't know shit about the toilet seat experience. You've never even been You know what's fucking real, you know, it's raw, you know, it's supposed to be like you haven't taken a shit on soft toilet seat You know shit about your own creation. You think you should go around the world clicking your culture toilet seats Oh, you want to have the squat poop? You want to do the hard poop? You want to make this some hipster ass bullshit? Yeah, Dan soft toilet seat. I'll fuck you up and I'll see you in the street You don't know shit about the experience. You know you just made a fucking fucking bitch You just put a magenta filter on your videos that doesn't match the tone of the vlog at all. You've completely fucked it up This um This is a problem though I think we can all agree that no one in the world has ever had their life improved by the existence of a soft toilet seat Who is the market? Who is the target demographic for fucking retards? That's who is it? We proposed the idea before someone said old people. Do old people need soft toilet seats? Is that what the market is for? Well, I'll tell you this they've got soft asses. They got soft brains They've got saggy tits. Why not add more soft things in their life? They can't feel anything anymore when you get old all of your nerve start to end so maybe it's just maybe it's just Alzheimer's Maybe Dan's soft toilet seat just has Alzheimer's or some sort of crippling disease that made him mentally retarded And that's why he's invented the soft let's let's wrap real quick Let's wrap about the sensation of sitting on a soft toilet seat I touched on it briefly before but we really should get into it. It's like Look when I'm sit with the only time that it's toilet seat is relevant is when you're taking a poop It that's when it matters. I mean if you're a woman, I guess that's different But you know, I'm not an inferior creature like that. So I don't know but You sit down and like my mind is already on the world of poop, but that's where my mind is at So when I sit down and I feel my body Squishing onto the soft disgusting membrane like I have my mind immediately goes to okay What has soaked into this porous fucking membrane? Obviously literal shit. It's obviously full of poop Meanwhile, it also feels like poop. It's a full poop experience for every sense of the body It's disgusting. I can't believe anyone in the world has them Why tell me why anyone would want one this Wikipedia article is part of the greater Over-arching problem. This is not a joke by the way. I'm serious about 100% of this Go on the overarching problem that is toilet seats where your balls almost touch the water not acceptable Yeah, except or when the when the bolt like those like perfectly round balls instead of like a long exactly The world needs to discuss It's always a public fucking restroom And that's Let me right now look at it. Let me right now my balls are severely within the boundaries of the ball Who I want to touch all of your dicks vicariously post humorously This is our curse that this is our rental car Get right get right in my boat here right in my boat You see this how you see how my balls or go right down fucking in here You can see the fucking blue right there if I do a real nasty shit I think a huge shit right inside this toilet bowl Then I'm going to have to have some shit Splash up on my balls and on my taint and when and when fucking all you guys start licking my taint tasting the shit You're gonna fucking rue the day that you dan soft toilet made this piece of shit Operation listen the point is there's no need for this. This is a problem that doesn't need to exist We have the solution already. It's called oval-shaped toilet bowls, and it's called fucking Hard plastic toilet seats. That's what we need. That's what the people fucking eat There is no market for soft toilet seats. Why is it for comfort? Is it because you need to sit there for a while like you know You're getting hemorrhoids if you sit there for too long the toilet seat should not be comfortable Unless you want to fucking get hemorrhoids. Do you want that Dan soft toilet seat fuck you Dan Get fucked. I wish I had a hard toilet seat right now. What are our options? We've got no options It's all soft. Let's see all day down should not be comfortable. No