 My name is Latika. I just recently got to know about you and it's my first time over here and this is a practice that I've been doing for the last three years where I just witness myself, try to be a witness to my own sensations and emotions and I've had a fair bit of success in terms of being able to witness and then move to a more covered and peaceful space but especially in the last couple of days, there are moments where I actually feel powerless in front of my emotions. I know what am I feeling, I know it's an illusion, I can break it down, I can write it down, go to the source yet it still has absolute power over me and in those moments I have no idea what to do with them. The reason why you have this experience is because when you through different means put yourself in Sakshi Bhav, you know Sakshi Bhav, it's witness consciousness, it's where you are observing everything as if you are separate from it. What happens a lot of the times is that there is an initial period of exaltation of triumph almost and that is then replaced with helplessness because you at one point get overtaken by that which you are observing and the reason for that is that Sakshi Bhav is actually not something to attempt as a sadhana. It is an experience that happens as you move along a path of self-realization which is actually a path of surrender while listening or tuning in to the source of your being to the to the antaratman, to the soul. So you're tuning in actually to the master within rather than you Latika observing it all you tune in and surrender to that master so what happens is is that everything around you starts to transform because putting yourself in a Sakshi Bhav or witness consciousness state doesn't mean you have transformed that which is causing you that emotional upheaval. This is a misunderstanding and misrepresentation of what Advaita Vedanta is or even just the spiritual search as is practiced currently in large parts of the world by spiritual seekers. It's an attempt to observe. It's an attempt to separate from that which is happening to you. The pain a lot of the times it's the emotional pain. It's the suffering. It's the misery. It's the challenges that you want to overcome and instead of approaching everything in a deep state of surrender bent down and operating from the source from the from the Agnya or the command of the of the inner residing truth the antaratman the source the truth love life there are many words for it what you do is to separate from what is happening and enjoy that experience of freedom from those emotions but they still remain the entire circumstance the entire world around you remains untransformed and so this is not a process of transformation Sapshi Bhava witness consciousness happens along the path of surrender surrender is the main word which is forgotten a lot of the teachers on the circuits they do mention it but it's not given the degree of importance which it needs to be given it's the crucial word so where is the surrender right it's a simple thing you can just step out of this mess right now you know and the way you step out of this mess is start to accept this as this you know this this this this it's it's you Latika daughter of Prabha Prabha from Pune Punya Nagari it's called now right or used to be called that's what you are and the transformational process happens not through observation of what is happening to this but this is in surrender this is bending and what is it bending to it's bending to the source the master within the entire guru you know we say in Sanskrit guru means the no residing guru that's where the bending happens the other bending is all just a training for that you bend in front of your parents you touch the feet you you go to the temples you bend in front of the gods you bend in front of the gurus but the final destination is is that so the surrender process has to start now you cannot you cannot separate yourself from what's happening and then expect that it's going to transform and change once you're back in the situation it will overwhelm you and even more than before so try to make that process of going into a state of surrender of bending to that inner master you can feel it it's a soul it's somewhere it is you know and gradually you'll you'll move beyond the noise of the ego of the ahamkar and you'll you'll start to feel it but there is something there which is actually guiding you and guided you when you were a small baby you were free you could just go with the command with the Agnya of the of the antaratman of the soul of the source of the truth and then as you socialize the ego grew and grew and grew obviously you know the socialization process is also a expansion of ahamkar of ego and then we know what happens after that so it's like shedding all those layers piercing beyond them to that it's a practical thing this is not some cosmic state which you have to attain there's no attainment involved it's something everyone can reach very much with the eyes open present the meditation is the being present here and now with the eyes open you know you if you walk here in Rishikesh you can see many people who are not present they're very floaty the sort of not in touch with the reality of thisness of this presentness and that is an aberration that is not realization it is actually a step away from realization so it has to be reversed that process so that's where I head towards but a lot of times what happens is the mind still wants to stay stuck in that loop where it's still very hopeful of getting some kind of fulfillment from the outside sometimes I give into their temptation and start moving out in the world and the moment I do that there is an emotional breakdown I come back to myself there's again this powerlessness in this loop as well where the hope doesn't go away or find a fulfillment in the world in the worldly things but it is the world in which we have to find fulfillment it is the world that we have to embrace if that were not the case why then are you in a body why are you in this world if it is not the world that is to be embraced it's simply how you perceive that embracing what are you embracing from what I understand about what you just said it's like you're quiet within yourself observing all these emotions happening to you and then you have a sense of peace and equanimity but then at one point the world comes and wants to claim its its space in your life and that's when you lose that equanimity because you get involved and it eventually leads to hurt and pain so yes it won't lead to hurt and pain if you embrace everything as a servant of the soul and not as the master of what's going on you can only master it in a state of servitude and surrender to your own soul you cannot master it otherwise how because let's assume you go into a deep state of meditation it's wonderful these are experiences that are powerful and are also necessary for the seeker to experience but they are not a way to self-realization they are not because the more you go into deeper and deeper states of meditation the further and further away you are from the harsh and crass reality of this world around you and you may put yourself into Sakshi Bhav you may put yourself into a state of neti neti neti neti meaning I'm not this I'm not that I'm not the other I'm not the third and the fourth those are not sadhanas they are realizations you know the difference so many people they start the spiritual journeys they're seeking with these ideas that if they start with the neti neti for example which is I'm not this I'm not that refusing to relate to anything that that will lead them to a state of an expanded consciousness that that then allows them to rid themselves of the pain and suffering that being in this world actually means but what happens generally is that it becomes a mental exercise and at one point the mental exercise results in the person alienating themselves from what is happening around so the observer and the observed and then you have the observer observing the observed who is observing the observed and then you have seven and eight and nine and ten layers of this until one point is standing in front of the mental institution that's what is happening a lot you know why because that one important word is forgotten in this process and that word is surrender you break down the process of surrender for me what surrender is is basically to start to listen to the master of your being the truth the soul the source and to be able to discern between the loud voice of the ego and the very very very very quiet non-insisting almost imperceptible almost silent impulse of the soul the soul is impulsing you all the time you know you could ask the question then what is this soul thing the soul is something which one feels when one stops listening to all the noise around the noise of the ego the noise of society with all its ideas about what is right and wrong and all of that you know messy masala then you can listen to it so you keep yearning for the impulse of the soul it is a sadhana the approach is not now I want it and I'm going to get it no because it's not going to show itself to you like that it has to be a humility a humbleness a bending you know I yearn for the master to reveal itself that is the approach then it will reveal so each action is this the moment to get up from that chair or not if you start listening you just know you'll know it and it will not be something which is dictated by the ego but it's dictated by the the soul yes keep on practicing the sadhana it has this faith in yourself that you can act from the truth have that faith because that is your original nature anyway as a baby you know thank you so much