 All right, Christina writes, why aren't you not married? Okay, since you've asked, I'm gonna put this out there. So first off, I was married and I got a divorce. Then I was a train wreck for at least a half a decade seeking connection and companionship and sex but was not capable of being in a relationship until I met a woman in 2011 that I was smitten by. But at this time, I'll be candid with you. I'm gonna tell you guys the truth. Thank you for staying this long but you're gonna hear something that I don't share too often. I, like I said, I got wiped out in the market crash. I didn't have a job. I was starting my dating coaching business and I was living with my mom and dad in a retirement community. My parents were in their 80s. Talk about being ashamed. And yet I met a woman who accepted my status. In fact, she realized on the second date I lived with my folks and we went on to have a six year kind of on and off relationship. Probably in my life, the most healthiest relationship. Now she's a marriage and family therapist. So she was very compassionate towards me. She knew my score. But my life, my ground underneath me wasn't solid. So this is true for so many men. The ground underneath them isn't solid. That's one of the reasons why men are passive or slow because if the ground underneath them isn't solid it's hard to fully commit. And I was deeply, madly in love with this woman. And yet to one, we weren't really that well aligned for one another in a variety of different places in our life and I wasn't in a healthy place. Now I began building my business, building my business, building my business. And now I'm in a place where I mean my business is substantially greater than I was 10 years ago. So when she and I ended our relationship and it was a beautiful conscious uncoupling. In fact, there's a book by Catherine Woodward-Thomas called, Conscious Uncoupling on page 2020, 2021 is our story of how we broke up together and actually made a book. In fact, our breakup made the television that week when we broke up and there's a more of a story to that. So what I'm sharing this with you is when she and I broke up about three and a half years ago, I went to the Hoffman process. This is what I talked about, to really do a deep dive into healing myself. And I walked out of the Hoffman process feeling like I was wrapped in a blanket of self love. I felt like I was really wrapped up in a blanket of self love. And I was ready. I mean, I felt really ready to be in relationship. And then what happened next was my mom passed away. There was a picture of my mom and dad when they were in their 20s, my mom and dad. My mom was 88 and she passed away. And it happened suddenly, but we got a chance to say goodbye. And that took its toll on me. I really didn't want to date during that time. But the more devastating thing, okay, I'm gonna get emotional right now. The more devastating thing happened to me to answer your question was I lost my 19 year old son Connor just a few months after my mom passed away. And folks, I can't begin to describe the absolute pain of a parent losing a child. It is such a devastating experience. And you know, it's funny because Connor said to me shortly before he passed, he said to me, this was one week before he passed. He said, Dad, I am so proud of you what you're doing professionally that you have a job that you could get together with me whatever you want. And I used to get together with him for lunch always. And that was one week before he passed. It hit me hard. And I just wasn't in the capacity to wanna open myself up emotionally to someone. So what did I do? I did a deep dive into this book. And I started to be on the podcast circuit talking about grief. And I just wasn't in a place. And then my business tanked during that time. You know, I just didn't feel like working. And so I wasn't really in a place to meet someone to even wanna get married and I truly do. And then 2020 hit and we had this pandemic going on which makes it ridiculously fucking hard to connect with another human being other than through the internet. And quite frankly, people were so desperate that I was talking to women that were only desperate for connection. They weren't ready for a relationship. So why aren't I married? I just haven't met my person yet. That's all. It could happen tomorrow. It could happen a month from now. It could happen a year from now. It might happen 10 years from now. It doesn't matter because what I learned in this whole process and I'm glad if you stayed this long to hear this what I learned about myself was the most important relationship I have is with myself, with myself. And quite frankly, I have to be careful because I'm getting a little set in my ways. I got to tell you, I really like my company. I'm a recovering codependent. If you're not familiar, where's that book? I'm a recovering codependent. If you're not familiar with the book, codependent no more. I basically operated for the longest time under the premise that I need you to love me so I can feel good about myself. I need you to love me so I can feel good about myself. And this is what everybody is suckling on the nipple of. They're suckling on the nipple of needing validation instead of learning to how to self-soothe and self-validate oneself. So I'm here to say that's the reason why, at least my perception as to why I haven't met my spouse, I've had a lot of trauma. But you know what that trauma did? And you know what Connor? I'm sorry you had to leave for me to learn the most valuable lesson in my life. He had to pass away for me to learn to love myself. And I don't wish that on anyone. And I come across a lot of parents who've lost a child. If you can resonate with this, please post a comment. If you've experienced anything similar, I wanna hear about it. And I just wanna send you a big, gigantic Jonathan Bear hug of self love, of love I should say, because let's face it, all of us are hurting in some way, shape or form. Many times it's, I don't feel good enough. I don't feel lovable. I don't feel likable. And I'm here to be a voice, to encourage everybody to love themselves. And I had to learn the hard way. And maybe, maybe reading this, you don't have to learn it the hard way like I did. So thank you so much for your question and allowing me to share. Ah.