 For all you soldiers, sailors, and marines of the United Nations, the Special Service Division presents another episode in the amazing life of the Great Kill-The-Sleeves. Our hero has finished his breakfast on this thing and has retreated from the jumble of ladders and paint buckets that still litter his living room out of the front porch. We find him there now waiting to share a ride downtown with Judge Hooker. You can eat much breakfast on the most. I wasn't very hungry. Neither was I. The prunes tasted like turpentine. You know, I think that painter keeps his turpentine in our icebox. He hasn't been here for a week now. Isn't he ever going to finish the job? I don't know, and I don't dare ask you. Oh, well, here's the postman. Mail for you? Thank you, Mr. Fauci. Mostly bills, I suppose. Mostly. You got an air mail from New York City that might be something. Well, air mail from New York. Thanks, Newt. Well, well, well, it's from Brink. Brinker Hall last year? His father, my dear, and he was not a suck-up kid. He was a very well-brought-up young man. Well, what do you think of that? Brinker Hall is coming through Summerfield, and he... Oh, my goodness. Good Lord, what's the matter? He's got his wife with him. Well, what's the matter with her? She's a countess. A countess? Yes. A real one? Certainly. Don't forget that Brink was the richest man in my class at college. He drove a blue romer and had two for a coat. One for Sunday. God. He's got millionaires working for him. He married this countess about three years ago after his first wife died. Very quiet wedding, of course, on a yacht. Well, they're coming. We better get busy. Oh, I should say so. When did they arrive? Let's see. Oh, it's tomorrow. He says, look forward to renewing our old acquaintance. We'll arrive around seven in the evening. Well, good ol' Brink. Gee, a millionaire. Well, he a roommate, don't... Well, no. Brink didn't have any roommate. He lived with his valet. Well, come on. Gotta get busy. We better get Bertie started on some fancy cooking. I imagine the countess likes plenty of hors d'oeuvres and such. You want a van? Oh, little things you eat too many of. If Marjorie, let's round up all the red stamps we've got in the house to try to get a hold of the steak. A steak? Are you going to have any other people? Well, I suppose so. Not many people in Summerfield know how to act around a countess like that. I know how. Look, last week. Gee, I wouldn't even know how to say hello to a countess. Well, in this thing, the hero just... I won't. Lee Roy, I won't have you learning manners out of comic books. You'll address the countess as your excellency. Okay. I suppose you could invite him. You could invite Judge Cooker off the board. That old goat? Why, he'd fallen a dead faint if he ever saw a bona fide countess. There's plenty of others. Well, who? Let's see. Nobody. All right, I'll ask Cooker, but he'll have to watch his step. What about me? Can I be hosted? I think you do it very nicely, my dear. How about Mr. Branson? Oh, I don't know. She and the countess might not get an offer very well. Miss Goodwin can talk French, honk. I heard her the other day. Well, an excellent suggestion, my boy. Add a little continental flavors on the occasion. Pardon name, why, your excellency? Still, who plays? Are you kidding? Mrs. Ransom will be disappointed, honk. Well, that's just too bad about Mrs. Ransom. I can't have everybody. Besides, Leela stole my paint. In a fight. Oh, there's Judge Hooker. Well, goodbye. All of them are. Tonight's queen, tomorrow. Great. Pistachio, that was Brink's favorite. Gotta be good enough for the countess, too. TV's with you. I've got to do an error. Yeah, to guilty. If you're not doing anything tomorrow night, I'd like you to run in for supper with some friends of mine. Tomorrow night? Well, I generally have my bar association tomorrow. All right, Judge. You go to the bar association. I'll ask someone else to meet Cyrus W. Brinker-Hawk. Cyrus Brinker-Hawk? Has he got the countess with him? Yes. He and the countess are coming to my house for supper tomorrow night. But of course, if you're busy. Oh, Dr. Moreton, I'd be delighted. Yeah. Oh, there's a name that'll make Summerfield sit up and take notice. Well, I'm not going to make a splurge, you understand. Brink and I were friends in college, and I'm sure he'd want everything kept simple and homey. Well, I think you're showing splendid judgment, Dr. Moreton. Well, a line or two in the Summerfield indicator. An excellent suggestion, Horace. That's no more than common courtesy to a stranger within our gate. Yeah. Brinker-Hawk's a pretty nice fella. Is he guilty? Oh, the salt of the earth, Horace. And generous? I remember in sophomore year, he gave our math teacher a pitted letter suitcase. Must have cost $150. That's quite a present. Yeah. And would you believe it? The darn teacher went ahead and plunked him anyway. Well, I'll surely look forward to meeting your friends, not to mention the comets. I remember her picture in the Rotary Reviewer section. Yeah, so do I. Well, we've got to remember, she's of noble blood, Horace. You'll mind your peas and cubes. My guilty, you don't have to worry about me. All right. Just don't want you stabbing the bread with your fork like you do at the Summerfield Grill, that's all. Guilty, believe me, you'll have no cause for... ...your napkin and your shirt collar. Dad, never kill to sleep, I've been around. Well, just watch your step, that's all. Are you going to dunk your bread in the gravy as usual? No, I'll see you here, Hooker. Oh, stop, here's peevees. Yeah, I forgot. And don't you worry about my manners, guilty. I'll be the glass of fashion and the mold of poor. Yeah, that's fine. I'll see you tomorrow, Horace. Nothing like a hick lawyer. Super special favor. Well, I can give you anything in the drug line, except penicillin or an alarm clock. I don't need any of those, peevee. I've got to have some ice cream that's fit for a millionaire. You think I can manage that in a particular millionaire? Oh, yes, peevee. Hold on to your soda fountain while I tell you. Cyrus W. Breakerhub. I think if I'd heard that name before, I'd remember it. Peevee, don't you ever read the newspapers? I read The Indicator every day. The Indicator. Don't you ever read about Wall Street, Washington, London? Well, it's not very much, Mr. Gilda. See, I don't know anybody in those places. Well, then I'll tell you, Cyrus W. Breakerhub is one of the biggest men in this country. Well, then why don't you buy his own ice cream? He's going to be my guest, peevee. He's coming to my house. Why didn't you say so? Glad to do anything for a friend of yours. Peevee, would you please try to get me a quart of pistachio? Breake loved it so. Back in college, he always ordered pistachio. Yes, sir. Many and many used to play the pistachio ice cream. I bought whole Breake. You bought it for Breake, Mr. Gilda, please? Oh, yes. Breake wasn't one of those millionaires that was always flashing his money. I often as not, he was clean brook, not a penny on him. And he'd let me buy him some ice cream or any one of the fellas. Just a big, good-natured kid. That's what I called being democratic, peevee. No, no. It's nothing like that. You could say he was just being economical. Peevee, you're speaking of a very dear friend of mine. No offense. Well, never mind. Can you get me the pistachio? No, I don't really know if I can, but I promise to try. I'll bring it around myself tomorrow afternoon. Yeah, I know you'll do your best. Well, I gotta be running along. A lot of things to get ready. I can imagine. Nice you had your house done over. Doesn't time for these rich folks to see it. Yes, very lucky. In fact, oh, good heavens, peevee, I just remembered. Why? My house is full of ladders, brushes, and wallpaper. Oh, I gotta go. I gotta drag that painter back to work and get him to finish up somehow. And drag him back from where, Mr. Goldifair? He's been led astray by my ex-fiancee. It rhymed. Painter right off the ladder. No, see here, Leela. She's upstairs. Oh, Mr. Gooden. No, wait a minute. No, she's upstairs, you say? What's she doing? Is she busy? That I couldn't say. One thing I do, I mind my own business. Oh, I didn't mean that. And I keep my eyes to myself. I'm not one of these pussy-footin' painters. No. Well, I just mean... I keep my hands off things, too. I'm not like some people. You don't have to count the silver after I've been around. Mr. Gooden, is what I wanted to say. I just wanted to have a little talk with you before Mrs. Ransom comes down. No, I'll talk as cheap as the palace has. Very good. Come here. How much longer do you think it's going to take to finish her stairs? Well, that's hard to say. Hard to say. Depends a little on the weather. Weather? What's the weather got to do with it? Well, on a damp day like this, barnys don't dry, you know. Oh, that's great. I mean, I'll tell you what you do. While you're waiting for a good day here, why don't you just come over to my house and finish up where you started in the living room? Well, I don't know what she's going to say. Don't tell her. You don't have to tell her you're coming over to my house. Just tell her the weather's not right, or that you've got to call them home or something. Mr. Gooden, just slip right out now while she's upstairs. Well, truck, Mom. Oh, hello, Lila. I thought you were upstairs. I was, but I came down the back way. The back way? The conversation with Mr. Gooden here about the weather. Yes. I heard it. Now, Lila, if you'll just let me explain. I'm not interested in your explanations, Mr. Gooden-Sleeves. If you could come to me and ask me like a gentleman instead of sneaking in here and trying to take my paint away from me. He's my painter. I found him first. You took him away from me. Well, really? I'll leave it to Mr. Gooden. Well, Mr. Gooden. I'll pass. Lila, let's be reasonable. I'm giving a dinner party tomorrow night. My living room's a mess. Dinner party? Oh, silly. Why didn't you say so? Well, I tried. Sorry. I just loved it. You don't understand, Lila. This is a very small party. Oh, I think they're much more fun when they're small and in... This isn't even a party, really. It'll be very dull. Just this old college chum of mine coming to town. Oh. I thought I would invite anybody with the family, practically, and maybe a couple of old ducks like Judge Booker. That's right, Mom. If you're trying to tell me that I'm not included, don't bother. Because I'm not accepting any invitation yet. Out of respect for the memory of my late husband. I think you're right, Lila. Bullregard was a fine man. But as far as the paint, if you think I'm going to let him leave here before he's finished these stands. But, Lila, it's a dinner party. I'll make you... Tell him, lady. See you here, kittens. Killed a slave in just a moment. But now it's intermission time, and that brings the music of the old professor, K. Kaiser. Come on, children. Yes, dance. They should cut out of the magazine. Here's a picture of it. How did it go, Bertie? They ought to look good. It would take me three hours to make a dozen of them and you could eat them all in one bite. Maybe you can think of something simpler. Some stuffed celery would be nice. I might have time to stuff a little celery, but I can hardly get anything done till that old painter gets his stuff out the living room. Yes, I know. Yes. Hey, Bertie. Yes, sir. I'll bet that painter would come over here in two minutes if I was to tell him you baked him an apple pie. Mr. Guilty, once and for all, do you want me to cook for Mr. Brick or hawk for Mr. Guilty? Yes. Now, Bertie, the dinner is the first consideration, of course. I just thought if you could sneak a pie into the oven in your spare time. You're trying to kill me. You know I got to wash all the good china and clean the silver. I was only joking, joking, Bertie. Well, please, Mr. Guilty, go and joke with them that's got time for joking, but I ain't. Not today. No time for cracking jokes today. Now, take it easy, Bertie. Take it easy. You got me all clustered. I didn't mean to upset you. I'll be good. I'll leave you in peace. Dude, if Bertie was to walk out, we'd really be in a mess. Is there any scales, Leroy, to the point where you know more than one piece? I promise. She's going to give me... You can hardly wait. I've been meaning to have a few words with you about this evening, young man, and you, too, my dear. Okay. In the first place, you children won't have dinner with us. You'll have to make other arrangements. There'll be Judge Hooker, the Brinker Hoffs, and myself. Can I come? Well, no. The steak doesn't look as big as it did in the store. What about Miss Goodwin? I decided not. I'm afraid that might lead to complications of one kind and another. I think I know what you mean. No, you don't mind me. Come here, Leroy. Before I forget, I want you to wear a stiff collar tonight. Oh, gee. Leroy. But I want you to be here when they come and beat them courteously. Okay. Thanks. And meet you, Mr. Brinker Hoffs. How do you do, Leroy? One other thing. Remember always to back out of any room the Countess is in. What? You're to the nobility. You'll never turn your back on a king or a duke. I'm afraid you'll get a kick in the... I suppose you were saying good night to the Brinker Hoffs. How would you do it? Well... Very important dinner. The Brinker Hoffs is one of the most important people. Did I show you the social note about it in the newspaper? I showed it to you. Oh, so you did. Where is it? I've lost it. Oh! I've lost the clipping. Somebody stole it. Now, now, take it easy. I have it right here in my... Bertie, did the chicken come? Mr. Gillespie, if we ain't having chicken, we're having steak. You brought it just now. Oh, that's right. We decided against chicken, didn't we? Come on, just write it on. You better go lie down. Mr. Gillespie. Yes, Bertie? Before anybody names down. Yes. Let's face it. What are we going to do about the living room? Oh, that's right. The living room. I ain't going to have no time to clean up no messes left by no painters. Not this afternoon. Not with all the cooking I got to do. No, sir. Not me. Well, we can't wait for him any longer, Bertie. There's only one thing to do. You just have to take the bull by the horns. Leroy? Why are you arresting my boy? All I'm asking is your assistance. Just give me a hand with these things. Put them out on the back porch. You take the step ladder in the buckets and I'll bring the brushes to Giddens likes or doesn't like. Yeah, but he doesn't like people touching his tools. He's awful fussy, you know. Well, I'm fussy about my guests. When I entertain a Countess, I don't ask her to sit on a step ladder with her feet in a paint bucket. Okay. It's a trouble with painters and people these days. It's because they're hard to get. They think they can get away with anything. They can, too. Oh, somebody at the door. Answer it. Oh, my goodness. Wait a minute. Don't let him in yet, my dear Leroy. Put that ladder back where you got it. I'll tell him some other time. No, no. Put it where it was so he won't notice. I did. Come on. Turn it this way a little. Now, is everything just the way it was? Well, put it back. Sometimes I told you not to put things in your mouth. Oh, it's hungry. You're always hungry. All right, my dear. Let him in. Are we going to see you again, Mr. Giddens? I wonder if you could move. Yeah, that's one thing you don't need to worry about, Mr. Gildersleeve. When I start anything, I finish it. I'm not like some people. You have to keep after them all the time. Mr. Giddens, you're not going to start painting at four o'clock in the afternoon. You've got to give her another coat. I always give a ceiling too cold. You have to do it now? I thought you wanted me to finish up here. Well, I do. But you see, I've got these people coming to dinner and I thought if we could just move your ladders and buckets and things out into my back porch, we could sort of straighten up in here. You just have to bring them in again in the morning. I know, but just for the evening. Well, you're paying for it. That's the way you want it. Oh, thank you. Yes, that's one thing about me. I don't get people any argument. That's the way they want it. That's the way they want it. Just wish they'd make up their minds. That's all. Mr. Giddens, you don't mind doing this? No. You're not mad or anything? No. I think it's going to look great when you get it done. One side, please. Yeah, look a lot better already. Don't you think so? Open that back door for me. What is it, son? Just wish they'd make up. Oh, gosh. Now he's mad. What's he going to be mad about? I waited for him a whole week. Have you forgotten anything? No. I was nervous as a schoolgirl. Mr. Man, Brady, you like the candles before you sit down. Oh, yes. Brady, the candles. Mm-hmm. Sorry, I have to run along before they get here. They'll understand. Hey, why do I have to stick around? Your sister has a date. Well, so have I. I'm supposed to be a piggy for dinner at seven. It's only seven now. But I've got to change my clothes before I go. What do you have to change your clothes for? You're all dressed up now. You don't think I want a piggy to see me looking like this. What's the matter with the way you look? Oh, boy. Don't worry. You won't fool anybody. Well... Now, wait a minute. What did I tell you to? No fighting. Your sister looks very sweet, Leroy. So do you. Yeah, sweet. How do you think I feel in this one? Hello! Hello! Leroy, come back here. What for? Let Brady go. Do you want him to think we haven't any servants? Okay. Sit down. Hold your hands. What? Stick in your shirt, take it. I told you to say. You have a capital for what you felt. I remember what I told you, both of you. I remember what you were saying. Oh, you just... Oh, the judge. Relax, everybody. Well, I'm on time, I trust. Right on the dot, Horace, as usual. Well, I'd like to be punctual. Good evening, Leroy. Hi, Judge. Leroy, what did I tell you? Oh, good evening, Judge Hooker, and how are you this evening? That was very nicely said. Marjorie, you're not leaving us. I'm afraid I have to, Judge. She's going out to dinner. Good night, my dear. Good night. Good night, Marjorie. Have a good time. No, sit down. I want one of you to stay here and say how do you do to Mr. and Mrs. Brinkerhoff? Gee, I don't see why it has to be me. I'll admit it's an unfortunate choice. But you are going to stay. Oh, smart. Guess I'll wait with everything. Well, Trot Martin, you've been looking forward to this evening, haven't you? Yes, I haven't seen Old Brink in 20 years. By George, I can understand why he's so late. You're sure this was the night? Of course this was the night. Oh, that must be it. Sit down, Judge. I'll have to sit down for it. Stick in your shirt first. Oh, yes, thank you. Yes, sir. Here's him. It's Mr. Peebe with ice cream. Oh, come in, Peebe. You know what it's been, but as I was coming up to walk here, the boy gave me this comment, and it's for you. Well, wonder who it can be from. No postmark on it. I wonder if it could be from Brink. Why don't you open it and change it? Good idea. Oh. From Brink? Yeah, from Brink. What does he say? Read it. Change plan. Sorry. Regards. Silas, pre-girl. Mr. Geltis, please, about the ice cream. I couldn't get the pistachio. I'm sorry. The best I could do was vanilla. That's all right, Peebe. It doesn't matter now. Thanks for trying. Gilded. Let me alone, Horace. Gilded, old man. Don't take it like this. I wouldn't mind so much, Judge. Only dog gone. I've gone to all this trouble. Spent all my ration points. Bertie's done all this cooking. I've offended Lila. I threw out the painter. I got you over here for no reason. They printed that piece in the paper, and a dog gone. And I think he might have let me know. You'll receive me. I say something. Go ahead, Peebe. Well, I'd just like to say that any man who'd do a thing like that is not a friend. He's an old fool. Peebe. By George, you're right, though. And I'll tell you a secret, fellas. I never did like that guy from the first day I met him. I never liked anything I heard about him. Well, he's done us one favor. We're all together for a fine steak dinner. Come on, Judge, come on, Peebe. Yeah, come on. Uh-oh. No, gentlemen, I couldn't. Mrs. Peebe is waiting at home for me. Well, call her up. Tell her you won't be home. Yeah, tell her you're out for the night. Sure. Hey, Judge, what do you say we call up some girls? Make it a party. Lila? And Miss Goodwin. Wait, you've got to get somebody for Peebe. I know. Mrs. Peebe. The very thing. Well, no, I wouldn't say that. Forces of the United Nations by the Special Service Division of the War Department of the United States of America.