 Volume 1 chapter 6 of Rob Roy. This is a LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox.org. Rob Roy by Sir Walter Scott. Volume 1 chapter 6. Chapter 6. The rude hall rocks, they come, they come. The dinner voices shakes the dome, and stalk the various forms, and dressed in varying morian, varying vest, all march with haughty step, all proudly shake the crest. Penrose. If Sir Hilda Brandos Baldestone was in no hurry to greet his nephew, of whose arrival he must have been informed for some time, he had important avocations to allege in excuse. He exclaimed, after a rough shake of the hand, and a hearty welcome to a baldestone hall, for it had to see the whoons kenneled first. But welcome to the hall, Lord. Here is thy cousin Percy, thy cousin Thony, and thy cousin John. Your cousin Dick, your cousin Wilfred, and Stair, where is Rushley? Hey, here's for Rushley. Take thy long body aside, Thony, and let's see thy brotha a bit. Your cousin Rushley? So, thy father has thought on the old hall, and old Sir Hilda Brandos Baldestone. Better late than never. Thou art welcome, Lord, and there's enough. Where is my little die? Hey, here is she comes, this is my niece's die. My wife's brother's daa, the prettiest girl in our dales, be the other here she may. And so, no, let's to the sirloin. To gain some idea of the person who held this language, you must suppose, my dear Tresham, a man aged about sixty in a hunting suit, which had once been richly last, but whose splendor had been tarnished by many a November and December storm. Sir Hilda Brand, notwithstanding the abruptness of his present manner, had at one period of his life, known courts and camps, had held a commission in the army, which encamped on Hounslow Heath previous to the revolution, and recommended perhaps by his religion had been knighted about the same period by the unfortunate and ill-advised James II. But the knight's dreams of further preferment, if he ever entertained any, had died away at the crisis which drove his patron from the throne, and since that period, he had spent a sequestered life upon his native domains. Notwithstanding his rusticity, however, Sir Hilda Brand retained much of the exterior of a gentleman, and appeared among his sons as the remains of a Corinthian pillar, defaced and overgrown with moss and glycan, might have looked, if contrast, with a rough unhewn masses of upright stones in Stonehenge or any other druidical temple. The sons were indeed heavy unadorned blocks as the eye would desire to look upon. Tall, stout and comely, all in each of the five eldest seemed to want to like the Promethean fire of intellect, and the exterior grace and manner which, in the polished world, sometimes supply mental deficiency. Their most valuable moral quality seemed to be the good humor and content which was expressed in their heavy features, and their only pretense to accomplishment was their dexterity in field sports, for which alone they lived. The strong Gaius and the strong Chloanthus are not least distinguished by the poet than the strong Percival, the strong Thorncliffe, the strong John, Richard and Wilfred Oswaldestones were by outward appearance. But, as if to indemnify herself for a uniformity so uncommon in her productions, Dame Nature had rendered rashly Oswaldestones a striking contrast in person and manner, and, as I afterwards learned, in temper and talents, not only to his brothers, but to most men whom I had hitherto met with. When Percithornian Coe had respectively nodded, grinned and presented their shoulder rather than their hand, as their father named them to the New Kinsman, rashly stepped forward, and welcomed me to Oswaldestone Hall with the air and manner of a man of the world. His appearance was not in itself prepossessing. He was of low stature, whereas all his brethren seemed to be descendants of Anarch, and while they were handsomely formed, rashly, though strong in person, was ball-necked and cross-made, and from some early injury in his youth had an imperfection in his gait, so much resembling an absolute halt, that many alleged that it formed the obstacle to his taking orders, the Church of Rome, as is well known, admitting none to the clerical profession who labours under any personal deformity. Others, however, ascribed this unsightly defect to a mere awkward habit, and contended that it did not amount to a personal disqualification from holy orders. The features of rashly were such as, having looked upon, we in vain wished to banish from our memory, to which they recur as objects of painful curiosity, although we dwell upon them with a feeling of dislike, and even of disgust. It was not the actual plainness of his face, taken separately from the meaning, which made this strong impression. His features were indeed irregular, but they were by no means vulgar, and his keen dark eyes and his shaggy eyebrows redeemed his face from the charge of commonplace ugliness. But there was in these eyes an expression of art and design and, on provocation, a ferocity tempered by caution, which nature had made obvious to the most ordinary physiognomist, perhaps with the same intention that she has given the rattle to the poisonous snake. As if to compensate him for these disadvantages of exterior, rashly was bolder stone was possessed of a voice the most soft, mellow, and rich in its tones that I ever heard, and was at no loss for language of every sort suited to so fine an organ. His first sentence of welcome was hardly ended, ere I internally agreed with Ms. Vernon that my new kinsman would make an instant conquest of a mistress whose ears alone were to judge his cause. He was about to place himself beside me at dinner, but Ms. Vernon, who, as the only female in the family, arranged all such matters according to her own pleasure, contrived that I should sit betwixt Thorncliffe and herself, and it can scarce be doubted that I favoured this more advantageous arrangement. I want to speak with you, she said, and I have placed on as Thornie betwixt rashly and due on purpose. He will be like feather-bed to excursion wall, and he be brunt of cannon ball. While I, your earliest acquaintance in this intellectual family, ask of you how you like us all. A very comprehensive question, Ms. Vernon, considering how short while I have been at this borderstone hall. Oh, the philosophy of our family lies on the surface. There are minute shades distinguishing the individuals which require the eye of an intelligent observer, but the species, as naturalists I believe call it, may be distinguished and characterised at once. My five elder cousins then are, I presume, are pretty nearly the same character. Yes, they form a happy compound of salt, gamekeeper, bully, horse jockey and fool. But as they say, they cannot be found two leaves on the same tree exactly alike, so these happy ingredients, being mingled in somewhat various proportions in each individual, make an agreeable variety for those who like to study character. Give me a sketch, if you please, Ms. Vernon. You shall have them all in a family piece at full length. The favour is too easily granted to be refused. There, see, the sun and air has more of the salt than of the gamekeeper, bully, horse, jockey or fool. My precious thorny is more of the bully than the salt, gamekeeper, jockey or fool. John, who sleeps whole weeks amongst the hills, has most of the gamekeeper. The jockey is powerful with Dickon, who rides two hundred miles by day and night to be bought and sold at a horse race, and the fool predominates so much over Wilfred's other qualities that he may be termed a fool positive. How goodly collection, Ms. Vernon, and the individual varieties belong to a most interesting species. But is there no room on the canvas for Sir Hilda Brand? I love my uncle, was he reply. I owe him some kindness, such it was meant for at least, and I will leave you to draw his picture yourself, when you know him better. Come, thought I to myself, I am glad there is some forbearance. After all, who would have looked for such blittish satire from a creature so young and so exquisitely beautiful. You were thinking of me, she said, bending her dark eyes on me, as if she meant to pierce through my very soul. I certainly was, I replied with some embarrassment at the determined suddenness of the question, and then endeavouring to give a complimentary turn to my frank avowal. How is it possible, I should think of anything else, seated as I have the happiness to be. She smiled with such an expression of concentrated haughtiness, as she alone could have thrown into her countenance. I must inform you at once, Ms. Doris Baldurstone, that compliments are entirely lost upon me. Do not, therefore, throw away your pretty sayings. They serve fine gentlemen who travel in the country, instead of the toys, beads and bracelets, which navigators carry to propitiate the savage inhabitants of newly discovered lands. Do not exhaust your stock and trade. You will find natives in Northumberland, to whom your fine things will recommend you. On me they would be utterly thrown away, for I happen to know their real value. I was silenced and confounded. He remained me at this moment, said the young lady, resuming her lively and indifferent manner, of the fair detail where the man finds all the money which he had carried to market suddenly changed into pieces of slate. I have cried down and ruined your whole stock of complimentary discourse by one unlucky observation. But come, never mind it, you are being lied, Mr. Oswaldurstone, unless you have much better conversation than these fudders, which every gentleman with a toupee thinks himself obliged to recite to an unfortunate girl merely because he is dressed in silken gauze, while he wears superfine cloth with embroidery. Your natural paces, as any of my five cousins might say, are far preferable to your complimentary amble. And ever to forget my unlucky sex, call me Tom Vernon. If you have a mind, but speak to me as you would to a friend and companion, you have no idea how much I shall like you. That would be a bribe indeed, returned I. Again, replied Miss Vernon holding up her finger, I told you I would not bear the shadow of a compliment. And now, when you have pledged my uncle who threatens you with what he calls a primer, I will tell you what you think of me. The bumper being pledged by me as a dutiful nephew, and some other general intercourse of the table having taken place, the continued and businesslike clang of knives and forks, and the devotion of cousin Thorncliffe on my right hand, and cousin Dickon, whose sight on Miss Vernon's left to the huge quantities of meat with which they heaped their plates, made them service to occasional partitions, separating us from the rest of the company, and leaving us to our tete-a-tete. And now, said I, give me leave to ask you frankly, Miss Vernon, what do you suppose I am thinking of you? I could tell you what I really do think, but you have interdicted praise. I do not want your assistance. I am conjured enough to tell your thoughts without it. You need not open the casement of your bosom I see through it. You think me a strange bold girl, half coquette, half romp, desirous of attracting attention by the freedom of her manners and loudness of her conversation, because she is ignorant of what the spectator calls the softer graces of the sex. And perhaps you think I have some particular plan of storming you into admiration. I should be sorry to shock your self-opinion, but you were never more mistaken. All the confidence I have reposed in you, I would have given as readily to your father, if I thought he could have understood me. I am in this heavy family as much secluded from intelligentlessness as Sancho in the Sierra Morena, and when opportunity offers I must speak or die. I assure you I would not have told you a word of all this curious intelligence had I cared a pin who knew it or knew it not. It is very cruel in you, Miss Vernon, to take away all particular marks of favour from your communications, but I must receive them on your own terms. You have not included Mr. Rashley Osboarderstone in your domestic sketches. She shrunk, I thought, at this remark, and hastily answered in a much lower tone, not a word of Rashley. His ears are so acute when his selfishness is interested that the sounds would reach him even through the mass of Thorncliffe's person, stuffed as it is with beef, venison, pasty, and pudding. Yes, I replied, but peeping past the living screen which divides us before I put the question, I perceived that Mr. Rashley's chair was empty. He has left the table. I would not have you be too sure of that, Miss Vernon replied. Take my advice, and when you speak of Rashley, get up to the top of Otterscope Hill, where you can see for twenty miles round you in every direction. Stand on the very peak, and speak in whispers, and after all, don't be too sure that the bird of the air will not carry the matter. Rashley has been my tutor for four years. We are mutually tired of each other, and we shall heartily rejoice at our approaching separation. Mr. Rashley leaves Osboarderstone Hall then. Yes, in a few days did he not know that. Your father must keep his resolutions much more secret than Sir Hildebrand. Why, when my uncle was informed that you were to be his guest for some time, and that your father desired to have one of his hopeful sons to fill up the lucrative situation in his counting house, which was vacant by your obstinacy, Mr. Francis, the good night held a courre pleinière of all his family, including the Butler housekeeper and gamekeeper. This reverend assembly of the fears and household offices of Osboarderstone Hall was not convoked, as you may suppose, to elect your substitute, because as Rashley alone possessed more arithmetic than was necessary to calculate the odds on a fighting cock, none but he could be supposed to qualify for the situation. But some solemn sanction was necessary for transforming Rashley's destination from starving as a Catholic priest to thriving as a wealthy banker, and it was not without some reluctance that the acquiescence of the assembly was obtained to such an act of degradation. I can conceive the scruples, but how were they got over? By the general wish, I believe, to get Rashley out of the house, replied Miss Vernon, although youngest of the family, he has somehow or other got the entire management of all the others, and everyone is sensible of the subjection, though they cannot shake it off. If anyone opposes him, he is sure to rue having done so before the year goes about, and if you do him a very important service, you may rue it still more. At that rate, answered I, smiling, I should look about me, for I have been the cause, however unintentionally, of his change of situation. Yes, and whether he regards it as an advantage or disadvantage, he will owe you a grudge for it. But here comes cheese, radishes, and a bumper to church and king, the handful of chaplains and ladies did disappear, and I, the sole representative of womanhood at a spotlestone hall, retreat as in duty bound. She vanished as she spoke, leaving me in astonishment at the mingled character of shrewdness, audacity, and frankness which her conversation displayed. I despair conveying to you the least idea of her manner, although I have as nearly as I can remember imitated her language. In fact, there was a mixture of untaught simplicity, as well as native shrewdness and haughty boldness in her manner, and all were modified and recommended by the play of the most beautiful features I had ever beheld. It is not to be thought that, however strange and uncommon I might think her liberal and unreserved communications, a young man of 22 was likely to be severely critical on a beautiful girl of 18, for not observing a proper distance towards him. On the contrary, I was equally diverted and flattered by Miss Vernon's confidence, and that notwithstanding her deceleration of its being conferred on me solely because I was the first auditor who occurred of intelligence enough to comprehend it. With the presumption of my age, certainly not diminished by my residence in France, I imagined that well-formed features and a handsome person, both which I conceived myself to possess, were not unsuitable qualifications for the confident of a young beauty. By vanity thus enlisted in Miss Vernon's behalf, I was far from judging her with severity, merely for a frankness which I supposed, was in some degree justified by my own personal merit, and the feelings of partiality which her beauty and the singularity of her situation were of themselves calculated to excite were enhanced by my opinion of her penetration and judgment in her choice of a friend. After Miss Vernon quitted the apartment, the bottle circulator rather flew around the table in unceasing revolution. My foreign education had given me a distaste to intemperance, then and yet to common advice among my countrymen. The conversation which seasoned the such orgies was as little to my taste, and if anything could render it more disgusting, it was the relationship of the company. I therefore seized a lucky opportunity and made my escape through a side door, leading I knew not wither, rather than endure any longer the sight of father and sons practising the same degrading intemperance and holding the same course and disgusting conversation. I was pursued of course, as I had expected, to be reclaimed by force, as a deserted from the shrine of backers. When I heard the hoop and holler, and the tramp of the heavy boots of my pursuers on the winding stair, which I was descending, I plainly foresaw I should be overtaken unless I could get into the open air. I therefore threw open a casement in the staircase, which looked into an old-fashioned garden, and as the height did not exceed six feet I jumped up without hesitation, and soon heard far behind the, Hey hoop! Stole away! Stole away! of my baffled pursuers. I ran down one alley, walked fast up another, and then, conceiving myself out of all danger of pursuit, I slagged my pace into a quiet stroll, enjoying the cool air which the heat of the wine I had been obliged to swallow, as well as that of my rapid retreat rendered doubly grateful. As I sauntered on, I found the gardener hard at his evening employment, and saluted him, as I paused to look at his work. Good evening, my friend. Good evening! Good evening to you! answered the man without looking up, and in a tone which had once indicated his northern extraction. Fine weather for your work, my friend. It's no that muckled to be complained, or… answered the man with that limited degree of praise, which gardeners and farmers usually bestow on the very best weather. Then, raising his head as if to see who spoke to him, he touched his scotch bonnet with an air of respect, as he observed, Eh, Guisebus! It's a sight for a serene, to see a good, less jettiescore in the heart garden, said it at Ian. A gold-laced what, my good friend? Oh, a jettiescore! That's a jacket like a rain, there it! No, perhaps from the French, just au corps. There are other things to do with them up yonder, unbottening them to make room for the beef and the barbed puddings, and the claret-wain knee-dewed. That's the itinerary for evening lecture on this side of the border. There's no such plenty of good cheer in your country, my good friend. I replied, let's attempt you to sit so late at it. Who's there? You came little about Scotland. It's an awful-wanted good-veavours. The best of fish, flesh and phone, highway, by Sybos, Ingens, Thorniebs, and other garden fruit, but we hang mess and discretion, and a moderate devout mouth. But here, through the kitchen to the harbour, it's filled in ferritch-mer, through the tea-ender of 420 Teal-the-tuffa. Even there are fast days, their car is fasting, when they had the best of sea-fish for a heartly pool in Sunderland by Land Courage, or by Trouts, Grits, Salmon, and other later. And so, they make their very fasting a kind of luxury and abomination, and then the awful masses and muttons of the pure-deceived souls. But, I shouldn't speak about them, for your honour will be a Roman, Isle-warant, beg the lathe. Not I, my friend, I was bred in English Presbyterian order centre. The right hand of fellowship to your honour, then. Quoth the gardener with as much alacrity as his hard features were capable of expressing. And, as if to show that his good will did not rest on words, he plucked forth a huge horn snuff-box, or mull, as he called it, and profited a pinch with the most paternal grin. Having accepted his courtesy, I asked him if he had been long a domestic at his borderstone hall. I had been fighting with wail-beaster of thesis, said he, looking towards the building, for the best part of these boron 20 years as sure as my name's Andru fere service. But, my excellent friend, Andru fere service, if your religion and your temperance are so much offended by Roman rituals and southern hospitality, it seems to me that you must have been putting yourself to an unnecessary penance all this while, and that you might have found a service where they eat less, and are more orthodox in their worship. I dare say it cannot be wanted skill which prevented you from being placed more to your satisfaction. It does not become me to speak to the point of my qualifications, said Andru, looking round him with great complacency, but neither did I shoot on the stand of my three-do-hottie culture, seeing I was bred in the parish of Tripideri, where they raise long a keel under glass, and forest the early nettles for their spinning keel, and to speak threeth. He'd been flitting every term these boron 20 years, but when the time comes, there's something to sow that I would like to see sown, or something to moor that I would like to see moan, or something to rip that I would like to see ripen, and say I eat in a day come with a family for a year's end to year's end. But I would say for certain that I'm going to quit a cannabis only I was just as positive on it 20 years in, and if I myself still turning up the mules here and for all that, for by that, to tell your honour the evidence down threeth, there's no better place ever of it to undreeth, but if your honour would wash me to only place where I would hear peer a doctrine, and I a free cow's grass, and a cot, and a yard, and more than 10 pounds of annual fee, art where there's no lady about the town to coon to the apples, there's a little bit of muck around there to you. Bravo Andrew, I perceive you'll lose no preferment for want of asking patronage. I can't see what for I should, replied Andrew, it's not a generation to wait to land's worst discovered atro. But you are no friend I observe to the ladies, nah by nae troath, I keep up the farthest guidance quarrel to them, there are fascist barrogans, air crying for apricots, pears, plums, and apples, summer and winter, without distinction of seasons, but we hear nae slices of the sparrow rib here to be praised for it, except old Marfa, and she is well enough pleased with her freedom at the beddie busher to his sister's Williams, when they come to drink tea in a holiday in the housekeeper's room, and wait a wee encodlings new and then for her own private supper. You forget your young mistress, what mistress do I forget, how's that? Your young mistress miss Vernon, what? The lassie Vernon, she's nae mistiths of mainman, I wish she was her aim mistiths, I know wish she may nae be some other body's mistiths at its slang, she's a way to slip that. Indeed, said I, more interested than I cared to own to myself or to show to the fellow, why Andrew, you know all the secrets of this family, if I can them I can keep them, said Andrew, they when I work in my wem like balm and a parlour, I as a warranty, misty is what it's neither beef nor braws of main, and he began to dig with a great semblance of acidity. What is miss Vernon Andrew? I am a friend of the family and should like to know. Or the tharn agued in, I'm fearing, said Andrew, closing one eye hard, and shaking his head with a grave and mysterious look, something glee'd, your honour understands me. I cannot say I do, said I, Andrew, but I should like to hear you explain yourself, and therewithal I slipped a crown piece into Andrew's horn-hard hand. The touch of the silver made him grin a ghastly smile as he nodded slowly, and thrust it into his breecher's pocket. And then, like a man who well understood that there was value to be returned, stood up and rested, his arms on his spade, with his features composed into the most important gravity, as for some serious communication. You won't care, then, young gentleman, since it imparts you to know that miss Vernon is here, breaking off he sucked in both his cheeks, till his lantern jaws and long chin assumed the appearance of a pair of nutcrackers. Winked hard once more, frowned shook his head and seemed to think his physiognomy had completed the information which his tongue had not fully told. Good God, said I, so young, so beautiful, so early lost, she's in a manner lost body unsoul, for a bay being a poppest, as it upholded her part, and his northern caution prevailed, and he was again silent. For what, sir, said I sternly, I insist on knowing the plain meaning of all this, on, just for being the bitterest jacobite in the hail-shire, a jacobite is that all, and he looked at me with some astonishment, at hearing his information treated so lightly and then muttering, Oh, well, is it what I think, I can't eat the lassie house, so ever, he resumed his spade, like the king of the vandals, in Marmontal's late novel. End of Volume 1, Chapter 6, Recording by Felicity Campbell, Fonga Nui, New Zealand. Volume 1, Chapter 7 of Rob Roy. This is the LibriVox Recording. All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox.org. Chapter 7, Bardov. The sheriff with the monstrous watch is at the door. Henry IV, first part. I found out with some difficulty the apartment which was destined for my accommodation, and having secured myself the necessary goodwill and detention from my uncle's domestics, by using the means they were most capable of comprehending, I secluded myself there for the remainder of the evening, conjecturing from the fair way in which I had left my new relatives, as well as from the distant noise which continued to echo from the stone hall, as their banqueting room was called, that they were not likely to be fitting company for a sober man. What could my father mean by sending me to be an inmate in this strange family, was my first and most natural reflection. My uncle at this plane, received me as one who was to make some stay with him, and his rude hospitality rendered him as indifferent as King Hal to the number of those who fed at his cost. But it was plain my presence or absence would be of as little importance in his eyes as that of one of his blue-coated serving men. My cousins were mere cubs, in whose company I might, if I liked it, unlearn whatever decent manners or elegant accomplishments I had acquired, but where I could attain no information beyond what regarded worming dogs, rowling horses, and following foxes. I could only imagine one reason, which was probably the true one. My father considered the life which was led at our Spalderstone Hall as the natural and inevitable pursuits of all country-dentalmen, and he was desirous by giving me an opportunity of seeing that with which he knew I should be disgusted to reconcile me, if possible, to take an active share in his own business. In the meantime he would take Rashdeus Baldestone into the counting-house. But he had in hundred modes of providing for him, and that advantageously, whenever he chose to get rid of him. So that, although I did feel a certain qualm of conscience at having been the means of introducing Rashdeus, being such as he was described by Ms. Vernon into my father's business, perhaps into his confidence, I subdued it by the reflection that my father was complete master of his own affairs, a man not to be imposed upon or influenced by anyone, and that all I knew to the young gentleman's prejudice was through the medium of a singular and giddy girl whose communications were made with an injudicious frankness, which might warrant me in supposing her conclusions had been hastily or inaccurately formed. Then my mind naturally turned to Ms. Vernon herself, her extreme beauty, her very peculiar situation, relying solely upon her reflections, and her own spirit for guidance and protection, and her whole character offering that variety and spirit which peaks our curiosity, and engages our attention in spite of ourselves. I had sense enough to consider the neighbourhood of this singular young lady, and the chance of our being thrown into very close and frequent intercourse, as adding to the dangers while it relieved the dullness of Ms. Baldestone Hall. But I could not, with the fullest exertion of my prudence, prevail upon myself to regret excessively this new in particular hazard to which I was to be exposed. This scruple I also settled, as young men settled most difficulties of the time, I would be very cautious, always on my guard, consider Ms. Vernon rather as a companion than an intimate, and all would do well enough. With these reflections I fell asleep, Ms. Vernon, of course, forming the last subject of my contemplation. Whether I dreamed of her or not, I cannot satisfy you, for I was tired and slept soundly. But she was the first person I thought of in the morning, when waked at dawn by the cheerful notes of the hunting-horn. To start up and direct my horse to be saddled was my first movement, and in a few minutes I was in the courtyard, where men, dogs and horses were in full preparation. My uncle, who perhaps was not entitled to expect a very alert sportsman in his nephew, bred as he had been in foreign parts, seemed rather surprised to see me, and I thought his morning salutation wanted something of the hearty and hospitable tone which distinguished his first welcome. At the Lord, I is a wrath, but look to the seal, mean the old song not, he that gallops his hosts on Blackstone Edge, may chance to catch a fall. I believe there are few young men and those very sturdy moralists who would not rather be taxed with some moral picadillo than with want of knowledge in horsemanship. As I was by no means deficient either in skill or courage, I resented my uncle's insinuations accordingly, and assured him he would find me up with the hounds. Ah, doot na lad, was his reply, doot a rank raider, it's a warrant there. What take heed, they fear they sent thee here to me to be bit, and a doot ay must raidee on the kerb, a will has summoned to raide thee on the hola, if a take nath a bat ahead. As this speech was totally unintelligible to me, as besides it did not seem to be delivered for my use or benefit, but was spoken as it were aside, and as if expressing aloud something which was passing through the mind of my much honoured uncle, I concluded it must either refer to my desertion of the bottle on the preceding evening, or that my uncle's morning hours, being a little discomposed by the revels of the night before, his temper had suffered in proportion. I only made the passing reflection, that if he played the ungracious landlord, I would remain the shorter while his guest, and then hastened to salute Miss Vernon, who advanced cordially to meet me. Some shove of greeting also passed between my cousins and me, but as I saw them maliciously bent upon criticising my dress and accoutrements, from the cap to the stirrupions, and sneering at whatever had a new or foreign appearance, I exempted myself from the task of paying them much attention, and assuming in requital of their grins and whispers and air of the utmost indifference and contempt, I attached myself to Miss Vernon as the only person in the party whom I could regard as a suitable companion. By her side, therefore, we sallied forth to the distant cover, which was a dingle or cops on the side of an extensive common. As we rode thither, I observed to Diana that I did not see my cousin rashly in the field, to which she replied, Oh no, he's a mighty hunter, but it's after the fashion of Nimrod, and his game is man. The dogs now brushed into the cover, with the appropriate encouragement from the hunters. All was business, bustle, and activity. My cousins were soon too much interested in the business of the morning to take any further notice of me, unless that I overheard Dickon the horse-chocky whisper to Wilfred the fool, Like they and her French cousin Benitoff are far as burst. To which Wilfred answered, Lachena, for he has a queer, ear-landish band in ons caster. Thorncliffe, however, who, in his rude way, seemed not absolutely insensible to the beauty of his skin's woman, appeared determined to keep us company more closely than his brothers. Perhaps to watch what passed between Twix, Miss Vernon, and me, perhaps to enjoy my expected mishaps in the chase. In the last particular, he was disappointed. After meeting in vain for the greater part of the morning, a fox was at length found, who led us a chase of two hours, in the course of which, notwithstanding the ill-oment French binding upon my hat, I sustained my character as a horseman to the admiration of my uncle and Miss Vernon, and the secret disappointment of those who expected me to disgrace it. Reynard, however, proved too wily for his pursuers, and the hounds were at fault. I could at this time observe in Miss Vernon's manner an impatience of the close attendance which we received from Thorncliffe or Spalderstone, and, as that active spirited young lady never hesitated at taking the reddest means to gratify any wish of the moment. She said to him in a tone of reproach, I wonder, Thornie, what keeps you dangling at my horse's scrapper all the morning? When you know the earths above Wolverton Mill are not stopped, I know nor such and thing, Miss Day, that met a swore himself, as black as Ned, that he stopped them at twelve o'clock midnight, that was... Oh, fire upon you, Thornie! Would you trust your miller's word, and these earths, too, where we lost the fox three times this season, and you on your grey mare that can gallop there and back in ten minutes? Well, Miss Day, as I go to Wolverton then, and if the earths are not stopped, as I ruddle dick the miller's bones fah'n, do, my dear Thornie, horse whip the rascal to purpose, fia, fly away and about it, Thorncliffe went off at the gallop, or get horse whipped yourself, which will serve my purpose just as well. I must teach them all discipline and obedience to the word of command. I am raising a regiment, you must know. Thornie shall be my sergeant major, Dickon, my riding master, and Wilfred, with his deep dubba-dub tones, that speak but three syllables at a time, my kettle-drummer. And Rashley? Rashley shall be my scout master, and will you find no employment for me, most lovely Colonel? You shall have the choice of being paymaster, or plundermaster, to the core. But see how the dog's puzzle about there. Come, Mr. Frank, the sense cold, they won't recover it there this while. Follow me, I have a view to show you. And in fact, she candid up to the top of a gentle hill, commanding an extensive prospect. Casting her eyes around to see that no one must near us, she drew up her horse beneath a few birch trees, which screened us from the rest of the hunting field. Do you see Yon peaked brown, heathy hill, having something like a whitish speck upon the side? Terminating that long ridge of broken, moorish uplands, I see it distinctly. That whitish speck is a rock called Hawksmoor Crag, and Hawksmoor Crag is in Scotland. Indeed, I did not think we had been so near Scotland. It is so, I assure you, and your horse will carry you there in two hours. I shall hardly give him the trouble. Why, the distance must be eighteen miles as the crow flies. You may have my mare, if you think her least blown. I say that in two hours you may be in Scotland. And I say that I have so little desire to be there, that if my horse's head were over the border, I would not give his tail the trouble of following. What should I do in Scotland? Provide for your safety, if I must speak plainly. Do you understand me now, Mr. Frank? Not a whit. You are more and more oracular. Then on my word you either mistrust me most unjustly, and are a better dissembler than Rashley or Spalderstone himself, or you know nothing of what is imputed to you. And then no wonder you stare at me in that grave manner, which I can scarce see without laughing. Upon my word of honour, Miss Vernon, said I, with an impatient feeling of her childish disposition to mirth, I have not the most distant conception of what you mean. I am happy to afford you any subject of amusement, but I am quite ignorant in what it consists. Nay, there's no sound jest after all, said the young lady composing herself. Only one looks so very ridiculous when he is fairly perplexed. But the matter is serious enough. Do you know one moray or moris or some such name? Not that I can at present recollect. Think a moment. Did you not lately travel with somebody of such a name? The only man with whom I travelled for any length of time was a fellow whose soul seemed to lie in his portmanteau. Then it was like the soul of the licentiate Pedro Gacias, which lay among the ducats in his leather and purse. That man has been robbed, and he has lodged an information against you as connected with the violence had done to him. Jest, Miss Vernon, I do not assure you. The thing is an absolute fact. And do you, said I, with strong indignation, which I did not attempt to suppress? Do you suppose me capable of meriting such a charge? You would call me out for it, I suppose, had I the advantage of being a man. You may do so as it is if you like it. I can shoot flying, as well as leap a five-buyed gate. And our colonel of a regiment, of horse besides, replied I, reflecting how idle it was to be angry with her. But do explain the present Jest to me? There's no Jest whatever, said Diana. You are accused of robbing this man, and my uncle believes it, as well as I did. Upon my honour I am greatly obliged to my friends for their good opinion. Now do not, if you can help it, snort and stare and snuff the wind, and look so exceedingly like a startled horse. There's no such a fence as you suppose. You are not charged with any petty larceny or vulgar felony by no means. This fellow was carrying money from government, both specie and bills, to pay the troops in the north, and it is said he has been also robbed of some dispatchers of great consequence. And so it is high treason, then, and not simple robbery of which I am accused. Certainly, which, you know, has been in all ages accounted the crime of a gentleman. You will find plenty in this country, and one not far from your elbow, who think it a merit to distress the Hanoverian government by every means possible. Neither my politics nor my morals, Ms Fernan, are of the description so accommodating. I really begin to believe that you are a Presbyterian and Hanoverian in good earnest, but what do you propose to do? Instantly to refute this atrocious calamity. Before whom, I asked, was this extraordinary accusation laid. Before Old Squire Inglewood, who had sufficient unwinniness to receive it, he sent tidings to my uncle, I suppose, that he might smuggle you away into Scotland, out of reach of the warrant. But my uncle is sensible that his religion and old pre-delections went to him obnoxious to government, and that were he caught playing booty, he would be disarmed, and probably dismounted, which would be the worst evil of the two, as a Jacobite, Papist and suspected person. Note, on occasions of public alarm, in the beginning of the eighteenth century, the horses of the Catholics were often seized upon, as they were always supposed to be on the eve of rising and rebellion. I can conceive that, sooner than losers hunters, he would give up his nephew. His nephew, niece's sons, daughters, if he had them, and whole generation, said Diana. Therefore trust not to him, even for a single moment, but make the best of your way before they can serve the warrant. That I shall certainly do, but it shall be to the house of the Squire Inglewood, which way does it lie? About five miles off in the low ground, behind you under plantations, you may see the tower of the clockhouse. I will be there in a few minutes, Zini, putting my horse in motion. And I will go with you and show you the way, said Diana, putting her pole free also to the trot. Do not think of it, Miss Vernon, I replied. It is not, permit me, the freedom of a friend, it is not proper, scarcely even delicate, and new to go with me on such an errand as I am now upon. I understand your meaning, said Miss Vernon, a slight blush crossing her haughty brow. It is plainly spoken. And after a moment's pause she added, and I believe kindly meant. It is indeed, Miss Vernon, can you think me insensible of the interest you show me, or ungrateful for it? said I, with even more earnestness than I could have wished to express. Yours is meant for true kindness, show and best at the hour of need, but I must not, for your own sake, for the chance of misconstruction suffer you to pursue the dictates of your generosity. This is so public an occasion, it is almost like venturing into an open court of justice. And if it were not almost, but altogether entering into an open court of justice, do you think I would not go there, if I thought it right, and wished to protect a friend? You have no one to stand by you. You are a stranger, and here, in the outskirts of the kingdom, country justices do odd things. My uncle has no desire to embroil himself in your affair. Rashley is absent, and were he here, there is no knowing which side he might take. The rest are all more stupid and brutal one than another. I will go with you, and I do not fear being able to serve you. I am no fine lady to be terrified to death with law books, hard words or big wigs. But my dear Miss Vernon, but my dear Mr. Francis, be patient and quiet, and let me take my own way, for when I take the bit between my teeth, there is no bridal will stop me. Flattered with the interest so lovely a creature seemed to take in my fate, yet vexed at the ridiculous appearance I should make, by carrying a girl of 18 along with me as an advocate, and seriously concerned for the misconstruction to which her motives might be exposed. I endeavored to combat her resolution to accompany me to squire Inglewoods. The self-willed girl told me roundly that my dissuasions were absolutely in vain, that she was a true Vernon, whom no consideration, not even that of being able to do but little to a system, should induce to abandon a friend in distress. And that all I could say on the subject might be very well for pretty, well-educated, well-behaved misses from a town boarding school, but did not apply to her, who was accustomed to mind nobody's opinion but her own. While she spoke thus, we were advancing hastily towards Inglewood's place, while, as if to divert me from the task of further remonstrance, she drew a ludicrous picture of the magistrate and his clerk. Inglewood was, according to her description, a white-washed Jacobite, that is, one who, having been long and non-adura, like most of the other gentlemen of the country, had lately qualified himself to act as a justice by taking the oaths to government. He had done so, she said, in compliance with the urgent request of most of his brother's squires, who saw, with regret, that the Baledium of Sylvan Sport, the game laws, were likely to fall into disuse for want of a magistrate who would enforce them, the nearest acting justice being the mayor of Newcastle, and he, as being rather inclined to the consumption of the game when properly dressed than to its preservation when alive, was more partial, of course, to the cause of the poacher than of the sportsman. Resolving, therefore, that it was expedient some one of their number should sacrifice the scruples of Jacobitical loyalty to the good of the community, the Northumbrian country-dentalmen imposed the duty on Inglewood, who, being very inert in most of his feelings and sentiments, might, they thought, comply with any political creed without much repugnance. Having thus procured the body of justice, they proceeded, continued Miss Vernon, to attach to it a clerk, by way of soul, to direct and animate its movements. Accordingly they got a sharp Newcastle attorney called Jobson, who, to very my metaphor, finds it a good thing enough to retail justice at the sign of Squire Inglewood, and, as his own emoluments depend on the quantity of business which he transacts, he hooks in his principle for a great deal more employment in the justice line than the honest Squire had ever bargained for, so that no able wife within the circuit of ten miles can settle her account with a cost among her, without an audience of the reluctant justice and his alert clerk, Mr. Joseph Jobson. But the most ridiculous scenes occur when affairs come before him, like our business of today, having any colouring of politics. Mr. Joseph Jobson, for which no doubt he has his own very sufficient reasons, is a prodigious zealot for the Protestant religion, and a great friend to the present establishment in church and state, now his principle, retaining a sort of instinctive attachment to the opinions which he professed openly, until he relaxed his political creed with the patriotic view of enforcing the law against unauthorized destroyers of black game, grouse, partridges and his, is peculiarly embarrassed when the zeal of his assistant involves him in judicial proceedings connected with his earlier faith, and instead of seconding his zeal, he seldom fails to oppose to it a double dose of indolence and lack of exertion. And this inactivity does not by any means arise from actual stupidity. On the contrary, for one whose principle delight is in eating and drinking, he is an alert, joyous and lively old soul, which makes us assume to dullness the more diverting. So you may see Jobson on such occasions, like a bit of a broken-down blood, it condemned to drag an overloaded cut, puffing, strutting and spluttering, to get the justice put in motion, while, though the wheels groan, creak and revolve slowly, the great and preponderating weight of the vehicle fairly frustrates the efforts of the willing quadruped, and prevents its being brought into a state of actual progression. Nay more, the unfortunate pony, I understand, has been heard to complain that this same car of justice, which he finds it so hard to put in motion on some occasions, can on others run fast enough downhill of its own accord, dragging his reluctant self backwards along with it, when anything can be done of service to squire-linguards, quantum friends. And then Mr Jobson talks big about reporting his principal to the Secretary of State for the Home Department, if it were not for his particular regard and friendship for Mr Englewood and his family. As Miss Vernon concluded this whimsical description, we found ourselves in front of Englewood Place, a handsome, though old-fashioned, building which showed the consequence of the family. Volume 1, Chapter 8 of Rob Roy. This is the LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox.org, Chapter 8. Have as good and fair a battery as heart could wish, and need not shame the proudest man alive to claim. Butler. Our horses were taken by a servant in Sir Hilda Brand's Libri, whom we found in the courtyard, and we entered the house. In the entrance hall I was somewhat surprised and my fair companion still more so, when we met Rashleos Baldestone, who could not help showing equal wonder at our encounter. Rashle, said Miss Vernon without giving him time to ask any question, you have heard of Mr Francis Oswaldestone's affair, and you have been talking to the Justice about it. Certainly, said Rashleos Compositely, it has been my business here. I have been endeavouring, he said with a bow to me, to render my cousin what service I can, but I am sorry to meet him here. As a friend and relation, Mr Oswaldestone, you ought to have been sorry to have met me anywhere else, at a time when the charge of my reputation required me to be on this spot as soon as possible. True, but judging from what my father said, I should have supposed a short retreat into Scotland, just till matters should be smoothed over in a quiet way, I answered with warmth, that I had no prudential measures to observe and desired to have nothing smoothed over. On the contrary, I was come to inquire into a rascally columnly, which I was determined to probe to the bottom. Mr Francis Oswaldestone is an innocent man, Rashle, said Miss Vernon, and he demands an investigation of the charge against him, and I intend to support a minute. You do, my pretty cousin, I should think now. Mr Francis Oswaldestone was likely to be as effectually, and rather more delicately supported by my presence than by yours. Oh, certainly, but two heads are better than one, you know. Especially such a head is yours, my pretty die, advancing and taking her hand with a familiar fondness, which made me think him fifty times uglier than nature had made him. She let him, however, a few steps aside. They conversed in an under voice, and she appeared to insist upon some request, which he was unwilling or unable to comply with. I never saw so strong a contrast betwixt the expression of two faces. Miss Vernon's, from being earnest, became angry. Her eyes and cheeks became more animated. Her colour mounted. She clenched her little hand, and, stamping on the ground with her tiny foot, seemed to listen with a mixture of contempt and indignation to the apologies which, from his look of civil deference, his composed and respectful smile, his body rather drawing back than advanced, and other signs of look and person, I concluded him to be pouring out at her feet. At length, she flung away from him with, I will have it so. It is not in my power. There is no possibility of it. Would you think it, Mr Oswaldestone, said he, addressing me? You are not mad, said she, interrupting him? Would you think it, said he, without attending to her hint? Miss Vernon insists not only that I know your innocence, of which indeed it is impossible for anyone to be more convinced, but that I must also be acquainted with the real perpetrators of the outrage on this fellow, if indeed such an outrage has been committed. Is this reasonable, Mr Oswaldestone? I will not allow any appeal to Mr Oswaldestone, Mishley, said the young lady. He does not know, as I do, the incredible extent and accuracy of your information on all points. As I am a gentleman, you do me more honour than I deserve. Justice, Mishley, only justice, and it is only justice which I expected your hands. You are a tyrant, Diana, he answered with a sort of sigh, a capricious tyrant, and rule your friends with a rod of iron. Still, however, it shall be as you desire. But you ought not to be here, you know you ought not, you must return with me. Then, turning from Diana, who seemed to stand undecided, he came up to me in the most friendly manner and said, Do not doubt my interest in what regards you, Mr Oswaldestone. If I leave you just at this moment, it is only to act for your advantage. But you must use your influence with your cousin to return, her presence cannot serve you, and must prejudice herself. I assure you, sir, I replied, you cannot be more convinced of this than I. I have urged Ms Vernon's return as anxiously as she would permit me to do. I have thought on it, said Ms Vernon after a pause, and I will not go till I see you safe out of the hands of the Philistines. Cousin Rashley, I daresay, means well, but he and I know each other well. Rashley, I will not go. I know, she added, in a more soothing tone, my being here will give you more motive for speed and exertion. Stay then, Rash, obstinate girl, said Rashley, you know but too well to whom you trust. And hastening out of the hall, we heard his horse's feet a minute afterwards in rapid motion. Thank heaven he is gone, said Diana, and now let us seek out the justice. Had we not, better call a servant. Oh, by no means, I know the way to his den. We must burst on him suddenly. Follow me. I did follow her, accordingly, as she tripped up a few gloomy steps, traversed a twilight passage, and entered a sort of anti-room, hung around with old maps, architectural elevations, and genealogical trees. A pair of folding doors opened from this, into Mr Inglewood's sitting apartment, from which was heard the fag end of an old ditty, chanted by a voice which had been in its day fit for a jolly bottle-song. All in scepton and craven is never a haven, but many a day far wither. And he that would say, A pretty girl, nay, I wish for his grave at a tether. Hey, day, said Miss Vernon, the geneal justice must have dined already. I did not think it had been so late. It was even so, Mr Inglewood's appetite, having been sharpened by his official investigations, he had anti-dated his Viridian repast, having dined at twelve instead of one o'clock, then the general dining hour in England. The various occurrences of the morning occasioned our arriving some time after this hour, to the justice the most important of the four and twenty, and he had not neglected the interval. Stay you here, said Diana. I know the house, and I will call a servant. Your sudden appearance might start all the old gentleman even to choking, and she escaped from me, leaving me uncertain whether I ought to advance or retreat. It was impossible for me not to hear some part of what passed within the dinner apartment, and particularly several apologies for a declining to sing, expressed in a dejected, croaking voice, the tones of which I conceived were not entirely new to me. Not sing, sir, by our lady, but you must. What? You have cracked my silver-mounted coconut of sack, and tell me you cannot sing? Sir, sack will make a cat sing, and speak too. So, up with the merry stave, or trundle yourself out of my doors. Do you think you are to take up all my valuable time with your damned declarations, and then tell me you cannot sing? Your worship is perfectly in rule, said another voice, which from its pert-conceded accent might be that of the cleric, and the party must be conformable. He hath carnet written on his face in courthand. Up with it, then, said the Justice, or by St Christopher you shall crack the coconut full of salt and water, according to the statute for such effect made and provided. Thus exalted and threatened, my quantum fellow-traveller, for I could no longer doubt that he was the recusant in question, uplifted with a voice similar to that of a criminal, singing his last song on the scaffold, a most doleful stave to the following effect. Good people, all I pray, give ear of woeful story you shall hear. Disover robber is stout as ever, bait a true man's stand and deliver with his fru-dle-do-fire-loodle-loodle. This naif most worthy of a court, ping-a-hound to the pistol and with sword, twig-skin-zing-ton and brand-fit, then it broadly stops exor- with his fru-dle-do-fire-loodle. His honest man did at Brentford's dark, each man his pint of wine, box your lives or your purses. I question if the honest men whose misfortune is commemorated in this pathetic ditty were more startled at the appearance of the bold thief than the songster was at mine, for tired of waiting for someone to announce me, and finding my situation as a listener rather awkward, I presented myself to the company just as my friend Mr Morris, for such it seems was his name, was uplifting the fifth stave of his doleful ballad. The high tone with which the tune started died away in a quaver of consternation, on finding himself so near one whose character he supposed to be little less suspicious than that of the hero of his madrigal, and he remained silent with a mouth gaping as if I had brought the gorgon's head in my hand. The justice whose eyes had closed under the influence of the somniferous lullaby of the song started up in his chair as it suddenly ceased, instead with wonder at the unexpected addition which the company had received while his organs of sight were in abeyance. The clerk, as I conjectured him to be from his appearance, was also commu-ved, for, sitting opposite to Mr Morris, that honest gentleman's terror communicated itself to him, though he wadded not why. I broke the silence of surprise occasioned by my abrupt entrance. My name, Mr Englewood, is Francis Osbrould Stone. I understand that some scoundrel has brought a complaint before you, charging me with being concerned in a loss which he says he has sustained. Sir, said the justice somewhat previously, these are matters I never enter upon after dinner. There is a time for everything, and a justice of peace must eat, as well as other folks. The goodly person of Mr Englewood, by the way, seemed by no means to have suffered by any fasts, whether in the service of the law or of religion. I beg pardon for an ill time to visit, sir, but as my reputation is concerned and as the dinner appears to be concluded, it is not concluded, sir, replied the magistrate. Man requires digestion as well as food, and I protest I cannot have benefit from my vittles, unless I am allowed two hours of quiet leisure, intermixed with harmless mirth, and a moderate circulation of the bottle. If your honour will forgive me, said Mr Jobson, whom he had produced and arranged his writing implements in the brief space that our conversation afforded, as this is a case of felony, and the gentleman seems something impatient, the charge is contra-parch him, Dominique Regis. Damn Dominique Regis, said the impatient justice. I hope it's no reason to say so, but it's enough to make one mad to be worried in this way. Have I a moment of my life quiet for warrants, orders, directions, acts, bails, bonds and recognisances? I pronounce you, Mr Jobson, that I shall send you and the justice ship to the devil one of these days. Your honour will consider the dignity of the office, one of the quorum in Custos Rotolorum, an office of which Sir Edward Coke wisely saith, the whole Christian world hath not the like of it, so it be duly executed. Well, said the justice, partly reconciled by this eulogy among the dignity of his situation, and gulping down the rest of his dissatisfaction in a huge bumper of claret, let us to this gear then, and get rid of it as fast as we can. Yeah, you said. You, Morris, you, knight of the sorrowful countenance, is this, Mr Francisus Baldestone, the gentleman whom you charge with being art and part of felony? I, sir, replied Morris, whose scattered wits had hardly yet reassembled themselves. I charge nothing. I say nothing against the gentleman. Then we dismiss your complaint, sir, that's all, and a good riddance. Push about the bottle. Mr Oswaldestone, help yourself. Jobson, however, was determined that Morris should not back out of the scrape so easily. What do you mean, Mr Morris? Here is your own decoration. The ink scarce dried, and you would retract it in this scandalous manner. How do I know? whispered the other in a tremulous tone. How many rogues are in the house to back him? I have read of such things, in Johnson's lives at the highwaymen. I protest the door opens. And it did open, and Diana Vernon entered. You keep fine order here, Justice, not a servant to be seen or heard of. Ah, said the Justice, starting up with an alacrity, but show that he was not so engrossed by his devotions to Tamas or Comus as to forget what was due to beauty. Aha! Die Vernon, the heath bell of Cheviot, and the blossom of the border, come to see how the old bachelor keeps house. Ah, to welcome, girl, as flowers in May. A fine, open, hospitable house you do keep, Justice, that must be allowed, not to soul to answer a visitor. Ah, the knaves! They reckoned themselves secure of me for a couple of hours, but why did you not come earlier? Your cousin rashly dined here, and ran away like a pole drawn after the first bottle was out. But you have not dined. We'll have something nice and ladylike, sweet and pretty like yourself, tossed up in a trice. I may eat a crust in the anti-room before I set out, answered Miss Vernon. I have had a long ride this morning, but I can't stay long, Justice. I came with my cousin, Frank Osford Stone, there, and I must show him the way back again to the hall, or he'll lose himself in the waltz. Puyo! Sits the wind in that quarter, inquired the Justice. She showed him the way, she showed him the way, she showed him the way to Woo. What? No luck for old fellows then, my sweet bud of the wilderness? None-mot-ever, Squire Uncle Wood. But if you will be a good kinder Justice, and dispatch young Frank's business, and let us can to home again, I'll bring my uncle to dine with you next week, and we'll expect merry doings. And you shall find them, my pearl of the time. Circus lass, I never envy these young fellows, their rides and scampers, unless when you come across me. But I must not keep you just now, I suppose. I am quite satisfied with Mr. Francis Osford Stone's explanation. Here has been some mistake, which can be cleared at greater leisure. Pardon me, sir, said I, but I have not heard the nature of the accusation yet. Yes, sir, said the clerk, who at the appearance of Miss Burnin had given up the matter in despair, but who picked up courage to press farther investigations on finding himself supported from a quarter, whence assuredly he expected no begging. Yes, sir, and Alton saith, that he who is apprehended as a felon shall not be discharged upon any man's discretion, but shall be held either to bail or commitment, paying to the clerk of the peace the usual fees for recognizance or commitment. The justice, thus goaded on, gave me at length a few words of explanation. It seems the tricks which I had played to this man Morris had made a strong impression on his imagination, for I found they had been arrayed against me in his evidence, with all the exaggerations which a tineress and heated imagination could suggest. It appeared also that, on the day he parted from me, he had been stopped on a solitary spot and eased of his beloved traveling companion the portmanteau, by two men well mounted and armed, having their faces covered with vizards. One of them he conceived had much of my shape and air, and in a whispering conversation which took place betwixt the freebooters, he heard the other apply to him the name of a spaldestone. The declaration father set forth that upon inquiring into the principles of the family so named, he, the said declarant, was informed that they were of the worst description, the family in all its members having been pappists and Jacobites, as he was given to understand by the dissenting clergyman at whose house he stopped after his reencounter, since the days of William the Conqueror. Upon all, and each of these weighty reasons, he charged me with being accessory to the felony committed upon his person. He, the said declarant, then travelling in the special employment of government and having charge of certain important papers, and also a large summoned specie, to be paid over, according to his instructions, to certain persons of official trust and importance in Scotland. Having heard this extraordinary accusation, I replied to it that the circumstances on which it was founded were such as could warrant no justice or magistrate in any attempt on my personal liberty. I admitted that I had practised a little upon the terrors of Mr Morris while we travelled together, but in such trifling particulars, as could have excited apprehension and no one who was one with less timorous and jealous than himself. But I added that I had never seen him since we parted, and if that which he feared had really come upon him, I was in no way's accessory to an action so unworthy of my character and station in life. That one of the robbers was called Oswalderstone, or that such a name was mentioned in the course of the conversation betwixt them, was a trifling circumstance to which no weight was due. And concerning the disaffection alleged against me, I was willing to prove to the satisfaction of the justice, the clerk and even the witness himself, that I was of the same persuasion as his friend the dissenting clergyman, had been educated as a good subject in the principles of the revolution, and as such, now demanded the personal protection of the laws which had been assured by that great event. The justice, fidgeted, took snuff, and seemed considerably embarrassed. While Mr. Attorney Jobson, with all the volubility of his profession, ran over the statute of the 34 Edward III, by which justices of the peace are allowed to arrest all those whom they find by indictment or suspicion, and to put them into prison. The rogue even turned my own admissions against me, alleging that since I had confessedly upon my own showing assumed the bearing or deportment of a robber or malefactor, I had voluntarily subjected myself to the suspicions of which I complained, and brought myself within the compass of the act, having willfully clothed my conduct with all the colour and livery of guilt. I combatted both his arguments and his jargon with much indignation and scorn, and observed that I should, if necessary, produce the bail of my relations, which I conceived could not be refused without subjecting the magistrate in a misdemeanor. Pardon me, my good sir, pardon me, said the insatiable clerk, this is a case of which neither bail nor main prize can be received. The felon who is liable to be committed on heavy grounds of suspicion, not being replicable under the statute of the third of King Edward, there being in that act an express exception of such as be charged of commandment or force, and aid of felony done. And he hinted that his worship would do well to remember that such were no way replicable by common writ, nor without writ. At this period of the conversation a servant entered and delivered a letter to Mr. Jobson. He had no sooner run a tasterly over than he exclaimed, with the air of one who wished to appear much to vexed at the interruption, and felt the consequence attached to a man of multifarious avocations. Good God, why, at this rate, I shall have neither time to attend to the public concerns, nor my own, no rest, no quiet, I wish to heaven another gentleman in our line would settle here. God forbid, said the justice in a tone of sort of archaic deprecation. Some of us have enough of one of the tribe. This is a matter of life and death, a few worship pleases. In God's name no more justice business, I hope, said the alarmed magistrate. No, no, replied Mr. Jobson very consequentially. Old Gaffer Rutledge of Grimeshill is subpoenaed for the next world. He has sent an express for Dr. Kildown to put in bail another for me to arrange his worldly affairs. Away with you, then, said Mr. Inglewood hastily. His may not be a repli- visible case under the statute, you know, or Mr. Justice Death may not like the doctor for a main pernure or bailsman. And yet, said Jobson, lingering as he moved towards the door, if my presence here be necessary, I could make out the warrant for committal in a moment, and the constable is below, and you have heard, he said, lowering his voice, Mr. Rashley's opinion. The rest was lost in a whisper. The Justice replied aloud, I tell thee no, man, no, we'll do not till thou return, man, tis but a four-mile ride. Come, push the bottle, Mr. Morris, don't be cast down, Mr. Waterstone, and you, my Rose of the Wilderness, one cup of claret to refresh the bloom of your cheeks. Diana started as if from a reverie, in which she appeared to have been plunged while beheld this discussion. No, Justice, I should be afraid of transferring the bloom to a part of my face where it would show to little advantage. But I will pledge you in a cooler beverage, and, filling her glass with water, she drank it hastily, while her hurried manner belied her assumed gaiety. I had not much leisure to make remarks upon her demeanour, however, being full of vexation at the interference of fresh obstacles to an instant examination of the disgraceful and impotent charge which was brought against me. But there was no moving the Justice to take the matter up in absence of his clerk, an incident which gave him apparently as much pleasure as a holiday to a schoolboy. He persisted in his endeavours to inspire jollity into a company, the individuals of which, whether considered with reference to each other or to their respective situations, were by no means inclined to mirth. Come, Master Morris, you're not the first man that's been robbed, I trove, grieving never brought back lost man, and you, Mr. Frank Oswalderstona, not the first woolly boy that had said stand to a true man. There was Jack Winterfield in my young days, kept the best company in the land at horse races and cockfights, who but he, hand and glove, was I, with Jack? Push the bottle, Mr. Morris, it's dry talking. Many court bumpers have I cracked, and thrown many. A merry main with poor Jack, good family, really wit, quick eye, as honest a fellow, burring the deed he died for. Well, drink to his memory, gentlemen. Poor Jack Winterfield, and since we talk of him and of those sort of things, and since that damned clerk of mine has taken his gibberish elsewhere, and since we're snug among ourselves, Mr. Oswalderstona, if you will have my best advice, I would take up this matter, the law's hard, very severe, hang to poor Jack Winterfield at York, despite family connections and great interest, all for easing a fat west country grazier of the price of a few beasts. Now, here is honest Mr. Morris has been frightened and so forth. Dammit man, let the poor fellow have back his portmanteau and end the frolic at once. Morris's eyes brightened up at this suggestion, and he began to hesitate forth in Assurance City, thirsted for no man's blood, when I cut the proposed accommodation short by resenting the justice's suggestion as an insult, that went directly to suppose me guilty of the very crime which I had come to his house with the express intention of disavowing. We were in this awkward predicament when a servant opening the door announced a strange gentleman to wait upon his honour, and the party whom he thus described entered the room without further ceremony. End of volume 1, chapter 8, recording by Felicity Campbell, Whanganui, New Zealand.