 From DailyDoseOfWeirdNews.com, I'm Darren Marlar, and this is your Daily Dose of Weird News. Many of us had feared that the infamous Loch Ness monster, who definitely totally exists and is unquestionably a real thing, had died, as there have been no sightings for eight months. Well, we can all breathe a sigh of relief as new footage shows that Nessie is indeed alive and well. In the video and accompanying photos, Nessie's long neck and head is seen gliding through the water, barely causing a ripple as a boat passes by. Nobody on the boat seems phased by the appearance of a legendary creature. Hey, you know what else is not phased by passing boats? Logs. A woman in Columbia recently ate her entire $9,000 life savings in order to stop her cheating husband from getting his hands on the money. Doctors were able to recover a good portion of the money from her stomach, and the woman then tried to pay them with that cash. Over in China, a computer technician who stole and drank a colleague's breast milk says he only did it because he was stressed out. Well, maybe we could believe that if he hadn't already sent the woman anonymous messages bragging about drinking her milk. And then more messages with what we'll call Anthony Wiener-style pictures. The milk in question was being stored in the woman's office refrigerator, and the suspect is a co-worker. The good news is the guy was arrested and now a judge will deal with him. Apparently grand theft mammary juice is a thing. The Marlarhouse mobile app is now available, and it's free. You can find me on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, watch Marlarhouse YouTube videos, check out the t-shirts, bugs, audiobooks and other stuff in the Marlarhouse store, see what's in my blog, and more, all in one app, and it's free for iOS and Android users. Put it now at Marlarhouse.com-slash-mobile. There's a rumor that there's already tension between Kelly Ripa and Ryan Seacrest. Business rule number one, never hire a co-worker who requires just as much mirror time as you do. Facebook is testing a new group phone call feature that will let you talk on the phone with up to 50 friends at once. Not real friends, though. That would be for people who are kind of your acquaintances or just an acquaintance of an acquaintance whom you don't mind seeing pics of your baby or what you're having for dinner that night in their newsfeed. Real friends, they already have your phone number. Five great white sharks were spotted off the California coast this week. They probably heard about that Santa Clarita diet. Steve Harvey apparently doesn't want any underlings talking to him. The longtime talk show host has allegedly circulated a memo to staff that instructs them, among other things, to not come to my dressing room unless invited, and to not approach me while I'm in the makeup chair unless I ask to speak with you directly. Also, don't stare at my teeth because the glare will blind you! If it's signed up for the Marlar sheet, it's free and everybody who subscribes is automatically entered into monthly drawings for prizes. For May 2017, I'm giving away a Daily Dose of Weird News t-shirt and mug combo, and you can sign up for the Marlar sheet free at DailyDoseOfWeirdNews.com. The CEO of Sears is blaming the media for the store's economic problems. I think that their customers just aren't spending enough. Both of their customers. So you think America is ready for President Rock? In a new profile of Dwayne Johnson in GQ, the wrestler-turned-movie star talks about his possible future in politics. It all started with an opinion piece in the Washington Post last year that stated Johnson could be an actual presidential candidate. At the time, Johnson called the idea fun to read, but now he says he's been giving it some serious thought, saying, I think it is a real possibility. While I do think this is almost as ridiculous as what we currently have in DC, I must admit it would be kind of cool to see President Dwayne Johnson pick up the phone to talk to Kim Jong Un and say, Can you smell what the rock is cooking? Cuba has opened its first luxury mall. But then it's Cuba, so it might just be our version of a dilapidated shopping strip. Right now, you can get a free copy of the book None Other by John MacArthur by visiting MarlarHouse.com slash Free Stuff. Grow deeper in your knowledge of the one true God. Get the book free right now at MarlarHouse.com slash Free Stuff. Or click the Free Stuff tab at DailyDoseOfWeirdNews.com. Offer expires June 2. When a Vietnam man went into surgery after being in a car accident, doctors were surprised to find a pair of scissors in his stomach that had been left there in a previous surgery 18 years ago. Man, no wonder he was complaining about a sharp pain in his gut. He had something sharp in his gut. Researchers have identified a gene that can cause symptoms of major depression and said it might be possible to use gene therapy to counteract its effects. Yeah, genes too tight on me, that gives me the blues too. The new president of South Korea has a bodyguard who is so handsome he has become an overnight heartthrob. Protesters are demanding to be frisked. There is research that indicates the active ingredients that gives chilies their kick can surround cancer cells and kill them off, which could help develop a cure for cancer. Unfortunately, the cancer pills leave your mouth on fire and no amount of water seems to relieve that. The company in Japan has installed smartphone wipes in restrooms at Tokyo International Airport. They've even posted a helpful instructional video on how to use Japanese toilets as well as the new smartphone wipes. This might work in Japan, but here in the U.S., this would go horribly wrong. Somebody would get confused, think that the smartphone wipe is a wet wipe, then they'd have to be rushed to the emergency room because something went wrong with their rumpus. And 20% of Americans are on internet almost constantly. Alright, fess up, you're listening to me on the web right now, aren't you? Uh-huh. I thought so. While we're on the internet, a survey of America's commuters reveals some interesting and dangerous facts. Chief among them, many more folks text and drive than we previously thought. At least I think that's what the story said, it was kind of hard to read it on my phone while driving into the office this morning. High school students spend three hours or more on the average school day, playing video or computer games, or using a computer for something other than schoolwork. Although it can be argued that these kids were simply preparing for the future and will be more ready than the rest of us when the inevitable zombie apocalypse finally does take place. An Australian helicopter pilot with the munchies landed his chopper next to a McDonald's to grab some food. Saturday, the pilot landed his chopper on the lawn next to a McDonald's, got out of the aircraft, entered the restaurant to get food, got back into his helicopter and flew away. See, this is why we need mick drone delivery to be a thing, like yesterday. The latest United Airlines incident, access codes to the cockpit doors on United Plains were made public. I gotta tell you, the hardest job in the world right now has to be the United Airlines PR director. You couldn't pay me enough for that job. Walking Dead actor Josh McDermott, who plays Eugene on the AMC show, has quit social media following death threats from fans who hate his character. McDermott deleted his Twitter, Instagram and Facebook accounts. He says, quote, Don't send me death threats because I'm going to report all that stuff to the cops. I'm just sick of it. You can hate Eugene. I don't care. I'll argue that you're wrong, but you can think whatever you want. But when you start saying, you hope I die, I don't know if you're talking about Josh or Eugene, unquote. Wow! There has got to be some dead fans out there that realize this is just a TV show, right? Anybody? You do realize it, right? The United Airlines flight had to be delayed several hours after a scorpion was discovered on board. Man, I am amazed. With all the negative publicity, you'd think the scorpion would choose a different airline. If you're a Once Upon a Time fan, well, we're hearing that the Wicked Witch of the West, Emma and Snow White, along with Prince Charming, are all not coming back next season. If this show is to survive, somebody better wish upon a star makes no difference who you are. A hiker from Flagstaff, Arizona really loves his pizza, to the point of getting hypothermia to get it. A search and rescue team had to come to the aid of a 30-year-old hiker wearing only shorts and a tank top, by the way, who got stuck in heavy snow on Mount Eldon during his quest for free pizza. The unidentified hiker had been racing to the mountain peak to win a free pizza from the local pizzeria, Pizzacletta, but he was apparently unaware of heavy snow conditions and called for help around 9am. He was found shivering heavily and probably at mild stages of hypothermia. Free pizza, by the way, that's not free if it comes with medical bills to treat your hypothermia. President Trump is threatening to cancel White House press briefings. You know, maybe if he did that, I'd feel a little better each day. And New York mom says an iHop waitress pulled a steak knife on her during an argument. It all started when the customer complained that her rooty-tooty fresh and fruity wasn't fruity and fresh enough and it just got out of hand from there. A Mormon church is severing ties with the Boy Scouts of America and planned to start up their own version of the program. Hey, you know what, maybe they'll do a better job of determining Boy Scouts need-to-be boys. The Marlar House mobile app is now available and it's free! You can find me on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, watch Marlar House YouTube videos, check out the t-shirts, mugs, audiobooks and other stuff in the Marlar House store, see what's in my blog and more. It's all in one app and it's free for iOS and Android users. Download it now at DailyDoseOfWeirdNews.com A rare Harry Potter prequel, handwritten by author J.K. Rowling on a postcard, has been stolen during a burglary in central England, police said on Friday as they appealed for help from fans of the Wizard Across the World. But wait a minute here, a Harry Potter prequel written on a postcard? That has got to be a short, short story. I can't imagine it was worth that much. A retreat called Cannabless will take place next month in California. They're not bothering to say what will happen because... well, duh. Over the weekend, President Trump delivered the commencement address at Liberty University. He offered to speak at his own Trump University but there was nobody left there to speak too. It may be the greatest marriage proposal surprise of all time. In Australia, a man identified only as Terry had given his girlfriend Anna a necklace on their one-year dating anniversary. Using Juan Pine, a wood that's native to Tasmania, he carved the necklace himself and she wore it almost every day for the next year. Well, what she didn't know was that inside the necklace he had hidden an engagement ring. Terry says it was literally under her nose. Okay, so flash forward to November 2016 when the couple took a trip to Smoon Cave in Scotland, a place they had talked about visiting since they first met. Well, on location, Terry asked for the necklace so he could take a photo of it. Well, secretly he broke the seal that she didn't know was there with a knife and with his camera rolling got down on one knee, pulled the necklace out of his pocket, cracked it open and popped the question. After initial shock and confusion, Anna finally worked out what had happened and yelled, Yes! Terry says she then kind of flipped out, saying, It's been in there the entire time? I couldn't have lost it, you freaking idiot! JetBlue removed a family over a controversy surrounding a cake they brought on board. It appears JetBlue's corporate policy is that you can only bring cake on board if you bring enough for everyone. Trump is said to be weighing a huge reboot in his White House staff after becoming disappointed with several aides. So in other words, you're fired. You're fired. You're fired. You too. And you. And you're fired. Pop-Tarts are the grab-and-go breakfast of our childhood, but well, they've now departed from breakfast entirely with three newly announced flavors. Getting Stores later this month are Jolly Rancher flavored Pop-Tarts in three varieties Green Apple, Cherry and Watermelon. It's not going to be the same though, you can't suck on a Pop-Tart for 20 minutes with the same kind of joy. A policy by Florida educators sets student goals in math and reading based on their race. By next year, Florida's Department of Education wants 90% of its Asian students to be reading at or above grade level compared to 88% of white students, 81% of Hispanic pupils and 74% of African American children. Translation, Florida educators are racist. Katy Perry is your next American Idol judge. So there's a reason not to watch. David Hasselhoff's daughter was arrested over the weekend for driving under the influence after she lost consciousness in the driver's seat of her car. A police officer found Haley Hasselhoff passed out at the wheel of her Mercedes Benz on a Los Angeles freeway Saturday morning. You know it's always a heartwarming feeling when you hear a child following the footsteps of a parent, isn't it? Disgraced televangelist Jim Baker says the spirit of the Antichrist is alive and well and living inside people who dare to mock President Trump. Baker now sells survivalist food and gear to doomsday preppers on his Jim Baker show. I have never seen Jim Baker and Alex Jones in the same place. Are we sure they're not the same person? Nigerian pastor Jonathan Mathawa was trying to show his congregation how Jesus walked on water by crossing what is locally known as Crocodile River on foot. Unfortunately during the demonstration he was promptly killed and eaten by three crocodiles in front of everyone. Eyewitness Deacon Nicosi told local reporters we still don't understand how this happened because he fasted and prayed the whole week. Okay, well first, Jesus had the sense to not walk on crocodile-infested waters. Second your pastor is not Jesus. Have you signed up for the Marlar Sheet? It's free and everybody who subscribes is automatically entered into monthly drawings for prizes. For this month, May 2017, I'm giving away a free Daily Dose of Weird News t-shirt and mug combo and you can sign up for the Marlar Sheet free at Daily Dose of WeirdNews.com. A 101-year-old man has set a world record for oldest skydiver according to the British company Skydive Buzz, Bryson William Verdon Hayes. He made a tandem jump at the age of 101 years and 38 days. Hayes is a D-Day veteran who was raising money for the Royal British Legion with his jump. At that advanced of an age though, I'd be afraid that being that high up, God might just go ahead and take me to heaven to avoid making the full trip. France has rejected a third gender category. France's highest court last week rejected the notion of a neutral gender. The ruling upheld a lower court's decision denying a French citizen with a sex development disorder the right to use neutral as an official gender. Hey, who knew France would be the sane ones? I mean, they eat snails on purpose. Kimberly Guilfoyle of Fox News says she's in talks to become the Trump administration's next press secretary. Guilfoyle says, I'm a patriot and it would be an honor to serve the country. I think it'd be a fascinating job, it's a challenging job, and you need someone really determined and focused, a great communicator in there with deep knowledge to be able to handle that position. Okay, that's fine, Kimmy, but I wouldn't burn any bridges at Fox News just yet. You might need to ask for your job back once you too are inevitably fired from the Apprentice White House edition. In Murraysville, Pennsylvania, police say 58-year-old Richard Ward spent Sunday night beating his 87-year-old mother and 64-year-old sister with a cane. This apparently after the two woke him up from a drunken slumber in his vehicle. He now faces charges including aggravated assault and public drunkenness. Murraysville police say he was parked outside his mother's home when Linda Ward and her mother Margaret tried to wake him up around 9pm Sunday night. Police say he woke up angrily and took a cane from his sister before knocking her down and beating her and their mother with it. Witnesses say Ward refused to stop the beating until he was restrained by others until police arrived. Both women were treated at a local hospital. Oh yeah, and did you catch this all happened on Sunday? You know, Mother's Day? Yeah, happy Mother's Day, Mom! 55% of voters surveyed would like to have President Obama back on the job in the White House. Possibly including President Trump and many in his family. Now, here's a study that says taking a break from Facebook can dramatically brighten a person's mood. I might have to try that, in fact I should announce that on Facebook. The new study claims that eating more salt will help you lose weight. I could see myself ending up with rock-hard six-pack arteries. Meanwhile, researchers at Imperial College say their new study indicates that sugar-free and diet drinks are not helpful for weight loss and they could even cause people to pile on the pounds. Hey, maybe the diet drinks should change out the fake sugar for salt? There you go, problem solved. Amazon is now worth twice as much as Walmart. And they did it without greeters. If you're trying to lose weight or just eat better so you live longer, you might want to stay home at mealtime. The study's authors who are from Tufts University and the University of Toronto say restaurants are unhealthy places to eat because the food that's served not only adds to the obesity epidemic but also increases diner's risk for heart disease. Fine, okay, I'll make you a deal. I'll start staying home for my meals as soon as the Cheesecake Factory begins offering home delivery. A new study finds that a marriage is more likely to end in divorce if the husband doesn't like his wife's girlfriends, although I'm thinking it may be even more likely to end in divorce if he really does like one of her girlfriends. Even if you're having a sad desk salad, grab a real fork, knife or spoon. People who eat with heavy utensils enjoy food 10% more than those eating with cheaper flatware, according to a recent study. Co-author Charles McKell, chef in residence at the University of Oxford, says you'll believe the quality of your food is better. So this is exactly why I bring out the good forks when sitting down to a bowl of puffy Cheetos. A new study claims that red meat increases your chance of dying from nine different diseases. A spokesman from the beef industry only had one word to say. Steak. If you want to live happily ever after, then beware Twitter. If you spend too much time tweeting, it could have a negative effect on your marriage, even in stable long-term relationships, according to Health Day News. And that friction can be so intense it leads to cheating and breakups. Why? Time spent online is time spent away from your partner and family responsibilities. Well, that might explain Donald Trump's marriages, huh? In Lakeside, Oregon, 42-year-old Elizabeth Moll had apparently pawned her husband's chainsaw. When he found out, he asked her for the receipt and says she flipped out and hit him over the head with a bamboo stick. Sheriff's deputies were able to locate a bloody bamboo stick on the property and Robert was treated on the scene for several lacerations and scratches to his head. She, the wife, was charged with assault and unlawful use of a weapon and was taken to the Coose County Jail. Here's the really weird part. Yeah, it's bad what she allegedly did, but according to the TV station there, her bail is set at $275 million. What? Michael Moore says he has been working on a secret film that will end the Trump presidency. Has anything Michael Dunn actually affected anything? What we need is a secret film that will end Michael Moore. At a Lowe's Home Improvement Store in Virginia, the employees are experimenting with wearing a sci-fi exosuit that allows them to lift extra heavy objects without a sweat. But don't expect an employee to carry your new refrigerator single-handedly to your car. No. He will, however, single-handedly carry your car to your new refrigerator. Right now, you can get a free copy of the book None Other by John MacArthur by visiting Marlarhouse.com slash Freestuff. Grow deeper in your knowledge of the one true God. Get your book free right now at Marlarhouse.com slash Freestuff or click the Free Stuff tab at DailyDoseOfWeirdNews.com. Offer expires June 2. If you liked this video, please give it a thumbs up and be sure to subscribe if you want to see more. And click that little bell icon next to the subscribe button to be notified when I post new videos. And if you're already an official Weirdo, please share this video on your own social media. Find even more weird news that I didn't have time for on the Facebook page at DailyDoseOfWeirdNews.com. I'm Darren Marlar and I'll see you next time, Weirdos!