 I tried to ask him for anything. There was even a time I asked him to help me when I had range issues. He just ghosted me and then later after a while I knew that everything was already calm and I didn't need the help anymore. He came back and started texting me again. So he happened that like two weeks I stayed in my friend's hostel for like two weeks because we were having exams. So during that time he still used to text me. So he even called me one day like that and he said he wanted to see me. So I talked about the man with my friend and I told her that I don't want to have any sexual relations with him at all. But at that time I was also in need of some money for some personal stuff that I wanted to sort. So that was the idea of stealing cash from his car because mostly people used to have cash inside their car in the middle place of their car. So the idea was that if he agrees to do BDSM with those two, BDSM is the kind of sex where you tie the person's hands and legs. So while his hands and legs are tied, we can like take cash or whatever value we can find and live with it. But he told me that that day, even when we went to see him that day when he asked us to come, we even talked to him about needing jobs. But he told us that he did not have any job available at the time but with time that he would be able to find something for us. And he was telling my friend that he likes her and he wants to sleep with her and everything. Basically that day he was because he wanted to have sex with the two of us. So we now proposed the car sex to him and he agreed and the BDSM three agreed. He wasn't telling us already from the garden about how he was going to deal with us and everything when he gets inside. Although we were not about that because we knew we were not going to have sex with him and we just wanted to take his cash and live. So he now told us that he started living. So instead of us going to the car, he now told us to go across the building that was across the garden when we went to meeting. So when we went inside, we were waiting at the reception and then he just came and started going inside following him. Then he told us that it was a room. Like we didn't know that the guest house that was there. Maybe he works there or he owns it. So when we went inside the room with him, my friend went inside. She excused herself and went inside the toilet and I don't die inside the toilet. So I guess the video is for you can actually go online and you'll find the full version of the video, right? So killing in Nigeria is a serious problem. The country has one of the highest homicide rates in the world with an estimated 334.52 per 100K people killed each year. Violence is often attributed to a number of factors including poverty, inequality, corruption on employment, the availability of firearms and a weak criminal justice system. Poverty and inequality can lead to frustration, anger and resentment which can sometimes manifest itself in violence. So corruption undermines the rule of law and public trust which can create an environment in which people feel that they can get away with committing crimes. Like literally you can walk away committing murder. Now unemployment can lead to idleness and boredom which can make people more susceptible to turning to crimes and a weak criminal justice system means that these criminals often go unpunished which can embolden them to commit more crimes. We keep hearing these gruesome murders and the stories happening almost on a daily basis and today we really want to know why, you know, why do you have or why do we have this high or increased rate of killing especially here in Nigeria. Now please let's hear what you have to say, remember you can join the conversation send us an SMS or what have to do with one 803-4663. Alright so this conversation is, I don't know, it's just too much for me. Like literally there was a story of a woman that killed her husband now in the city of Nogun state. Like if you go on the dailies, just go on social media, not even the blogs like dailies. I always go on punch newspaper. You see so many killings because they take a lot of human angle stories. This one killed somebody, this one stabbed this one, this one did this, this one. I'm saying to what is the problem exactly, is it that first of all maybe we don't know how to resolve conflict Is it a frustration or is it this issue around, I want to get, because I mean we've heard stories of people using people for you know for diabolic things to be able to, I mean they believe that they can get the money and all of that. Like we really have a very high rate of you know just taking lives. You know almost like we're losing our conscience, I don't understand. So do you understand why this is happening? I mean it's well if we start from value system, I mean it's every day it keeps diminishing you know. And then there's also pressure, pressure to be this, pressure to be that, pressure to make ends meet. And then there is the economic situation, people, it's biting hard on people. And when people feel that their backs are against the world, they say that a person who has nothing to lose you know will do just about anything you know. So they probably feel that that frustration they need to vent it out. So sometimes they get themselves in situations that would escalate quickly. And I am also sure that sometimes they don't even know how quickly that situation you know would escalate. And then by the end of the day everything is crazy and you know we hear all this. But again I want to say that it's not so new. I think what has made it like very popular right now is just because of the digital space. Because I mean someone somewhere is filming something, is recording something. Unlike before all these things have been happening. I mean way back in the 90s there was a high rate of rituals you know. People would say oh they went to this place and someone disappeared you know. That was happening. True. But there was no internet or anything. Exactly. So we couldn't even report and tell the story. Exactly. So for me I think that the fact that this has been happening for such a long time speaks to not just the moral decay but to the weak social justice system that we have in Nigeria. If we have a robust and an actual like an active system that works because that's the key point that works. People would know that there is punishment when you do things that are criminal. You know that the law will try you and this is what will happen. But now people just feel okay you know what I can easily circumvent the law. I can easily get away with doing certain things you know. So it's just a cycle. The next person will do it until there is a total breakdown. I agree with you. I agree with you. I also think it's just the blatant disregard for human life right. If you really care about the next person like you genuinely care even when you're fighting. There are times when I was a kid when I'm fighting with my sibling. I'm very careful. Once I sit down on this chair and I use my two legs and push you. You fly to the next room. Because my legs are strong and they are also very long. So the power I would use to push you would make you find yourself on the other end of the room. So even when things like that are happening there's somewhere in my mind that tells me. I can't cause bodily harm. So I have to restrain myself and that's because I care about my sibling right. And let's take my sibling out of the equation. No more human being. Even if you do harm to me I still care about you. Because part of me is like what if I do this and you die. What if I do this and something happens and you just slump. And the next thing they pronounce you dead. I'm going to go to jail right. There are people who don't have regard for human life and they are very selfish people. Like she said that there are no consequences for actions. People do things and because the justice system isn't very airtight. It just feels like a lot of people are getting away with things. We see the news every day. It was not a guy or a system. I can't remember his name. He killed his girlfriend. He killed his girlfriend. We've not heard that anything has been done about it. People just keep talking about it on social media. But then there is no arrest. No arrest has been done. Nothing. He hasn't been brought to the book. So things like that. I mean sometimes people might want to chuck it out too. It's the frustration in the country. Come on. The country used to be way better than what it is now. So what exactly is your excuse? The other day we saw a story about a model or a step-mother or something that killed her step-son. Over something very little. The next day people found out that what happened was when she was beating the boy and then he slumped and died. The neighbors caught her when they were trying to bury her. So they were trying to take the boy from her. They were secretly taking him out of the house. They could go bury him or dump him somewhere. How did he even beat someone to a point? Did you get it? Where is your mind? In that moment when you are inflicting pain on someone. Isn't there a conscience? Isn't there something? Some people's heart I believe is just under their feet. Or the heart is not even available anymore. Because where is your conscience? So you see cases like what you've just painted. You have a system where, for instance, we are not accounted for. I don't know whether government is saying they exist. Do you understand? I'm not in their data. Yes, I have a passport, I have this, I have that. But I'm saying to you that the larger population in Nigeria. So when we call for things like sensors. We're not calling for sensors just because we just want to know our numbers. It's to be able to say, even chicken, touch one of her cheek. The mother hand. The way she will charge at you. So that's how it's supposed to be. That every single Nigerian is accounted for. So you come tomorrow, I know Diorat that she exists. I know her social security number. I know that this is where she stays and all of that. If anything happens tomorrow and she's nowhere to be found. I'll be able to trace her. That's why you hear. It's not like these murders or these killings don't happen abroad. They do. But because some people have actually died. Nobody knows. I have a friend. So hearing you say things that used to happen a long time ago. My father's sister, they said she just walked inside the bush and never returned. Only God knows what happened to her. My friend has sister till today. Just disappeared into thin air. Is it done anywhere that somebody just disappears in the country and nobody knows anything. So you see, it's even beyond the heart. If a system, even outside of the government system, the welfare system, if a country decides to say every human being in Nigeria's life matters and we must account for those lives and we will start to do the barest minimum. Let's even know how our number sets know that we exist. But you hear politicians bringing up all sorts of things because guess what, these are the things that they continue to use to say they have 10 million voters. People are very concerned about their numbers when they are doing elections and forget that there is a government that needs to happen. Forget that their lives are at risk because anybody just feels they can wake up and get up. Now the reason this girl, this socialite now inquires to the choral polytechnic man the reason his case is out there is because he is a socialite and he is the son of a prominent person. If now we never hear the story the other lady that is in jail now I don't know where she is now the lady that killed the super TV the TV man that died in a short letter you understand? What's the story like? What's happening? So even for the ones that have been found out what is the action point that has been taken? So you know what is even really worrisome for me? The young man that we took his story yesterday was the one that voluntarily went on social media and said he killed his girlfriend do you understand? And yet the police saw no reason to arrest or do anything only for he took the uproar of the people and all of that for them to not say ok now they declared him wanted and I hear that he has left the country he has fled the country the young man that just died recently that thing is murder as well as I'm concerned do you understand? Even if it is we don't even know what the situation is because it's also murder like literally people die and it seems like life just continues you know I have lived in a place where I see people just carry knives and slaughter people when they had all these and you see these things is actually a ripple effect so then the killings used to be religious wars these used to be tribal wars and all of those things I mean in Kaduna so many people were killed you know at some point literally if I see if I hear heavy noise like if they if you celebrate Christmas or all those period that they do all those knockouts and all of that I used to have like literally I feel my heart pumping out of fear because I lived it I understand it that you not take a human life you know so it's really sad and the proliferation of weapons within the country this is not today you remember even during Jonathan's time how they used to intercept you keep on hearing the custom is intercepting a container load of arms a container load of bullets where are those things you understand because now a 14-year-old was I just saw a story that a 14-year-old was arrested in a position of what's it called a gun you know these things like literally it's and the way it is now anybody can just wake up because they know that I just need to relocate Jella if I kill you today I would just go to Zamfara and I'll be good Jella said nobody would nobody would find me so I don't know how we're going to solve the problem you know but you know let's take a break I'd like to open our phone line then we'll continue the conversations stay with us this and make the effect that we were in a room and not in the car because normally because that it will have to have some body it's cannot be in a public place that people can easily see or hear but because it was in a room so we were really thinking about what we're going to do like in case maybe he starts shouting or something so apart from the two you used to tie is hand థ్త్రినిి $wన్టినాగారిల౉డిమ్ల్వనాత్ల్ల్నాలేనిలై యకివరిలు. cıải arada vensäng b histó Nordík 老師 కోది బాగపానిలూ detected నృ ఆవ఩పేp maintenance 是 �low ża Ḥ Ḥ Ḥ Ḥ Ḥ Ḥ Ḥ Ḥ Ḥ Ḥ Ḥ Ḥ Ḥ Ḥ Ḥ Ḥ Ḥ Ḥ Ḥ Ḥ Ḥ Ḥ Ḥ Ḥ Ḥ Ḥ Ḥ Ḥ Until, when he took out his mouth, he touched me and said, don't touch his mouth, and he told me that he didn't want it, and he didn't want it, and he touch my mouth, that's why he refused to bite me, and I didn't want it. After that time I refused to put his mouth close in his mouth, I just left him because I panicked, that's why I had to tie his mouth. During the course of me being on the bed and just passing him and everything, my friend went to the bag, We already had this thing before. We already had Refnau in our bag that we were supposed to give to him so that he would sleep after, so in case that he would be able to live. So my friend called it in her hand and when she tried to pull it into his mouth, he turned his face away and he did enter his mouth. He said he didn't need it to let him know. I tried to ask him for anything. There was even a time I asked him to help me when I had range issues. He just ghosted me and then later... So we had to play this video again to the end. Jola said she has killed before. Okay, good. So if you just tune in to our Ladies Night Out and we are discussing the topic, why do we have an increased rate of killings, especially here in Nigeria. Now please let's hear what you have to say. Remember you can join the conversation centres and SMS or WhatsApp to do it. Our phone line is now open. The number to call is 07025007749. Remember to turn on the volume of all the device that you are watching us from. You know this interesting thing, I mean you see stories why we killed our nephew. This one, Uma was arrested for killing a child. This one, father is arrested for ripping and killing the toddler. There is just too many stories all over the media. But I wanted to ask a question, right? Do we blame this on poverty in the land? Because there is part of this story where the girl says we asked him for money, we even asked for a job. Do we blame this on poverty or this thing is actually just the state of the mind? Because I don't know how poor I would get that I would think it is okay to take somebody else's life. It's a combination of a lot of things really. Sometimes we can't really understand poverty unless we have gone through it ourselves. Poverty is not just having money. It's a mind thing, I think it's something deeper. And for some people when they feel that there is no hope or there is no way out of it. It's like they see their grandparents, their parents, they live in a community where they see abject poverty every day. They become how they say it. If it's someone that is desperate to come out of that situation, they get to a point where it's almost as if I would do anything to come out of this situation. And sometimes that takes them on part that they have no idea how it's going to turn out. I mean for them, this video now, for them it may have started from let's just... Because she said they were just going to... So in fact they opted to have the sexual activity in the car. Because they wanted to just quickly... Exactly. And pick what they needed to. She said because she knows that a lot of them, they keep money in their car. So she wanted to just take the money. But she didn't know that the man was the owner of the whatever... And he eventually took them into a room. The room was not part of the plan. I mean she said a lot of things. But I just looked again. She doesn't know that her life has been ruined. Because when she's even talking, she's doing like this. She might even understand the consequences of the... What is this? Yes. You don't know how the extent you know what she has done. And because again her situation... Again you might also even want to say that she's probably done this before. Something like this may have happened. And she got out of it. And she just feels this is another situation I will get out of. Again you never can tell. Because this is Nigeria. Nigeria is not... There's nothing that is black and white in this country. So do we blame this on parenting? There's parenting, there's poverty. There is economic disparity. There is too many reasons. There is not... I'm not sure that there is one thing you can blame it on. There is also greed on the part of the individual. Contentment must be a... You see the man is stingy. How do you... How are you entitled to someone else's money? That will qualify you to say somebody is stingy. But you are asking how am I entitled to it. So the same way an armed robber will come. Aggressively smash your side mirrors. I mean your side windows. And take up... I think we have a caller. Do we have a caller? Hello? Good evening. Thank you for calling. This is Pashto Landimo. Hi Pashto Landimo. Thank you for calling. You are welcome. You are welcome. It is happening in our society today. It is a result of bad moral values. We can collect it. We will be happy to call it. We have normal life, we have normal. We should do something today. People make money so daily. And when you try to... The new question is poverty. Percantability anymore, anywhere. That is what you said. And before you know what is happening. Let's do something here. May God save this nation. Thank you so much. Literally it is so painful. The world we are looking for is implications. You understand? They don't understand it. So I mean like... I was saying that do we blame this on parenting? Because again in all honesty. See if you came back home with toothpick. That my mother did not give you. You may explain yourself. But now I have seen on social media. You don't calculate it. What do they influence? That you can afford to buy 50 million a car. What are you influencing? Do you understand? And I have seen people that have done careers. Reason to top leadership positions. And they cannot even afford those kind of lifestyle. I also think the role... See there is a whole lot of moving parts. To even moving past this. To solving this. We must also stop sensationalizing. Vices and violence. The role of the media. Because sometimes in the bead to also report. And create content and news. We are gradually getting to a point where we are romanticizing. The idea of banned behavior. And for some people that are not privy to anyone telling them otherwise. They begin to think that... I mean for this thing to have made the TV. For this thing to be so popular. It must be right. Do you understand? Now these people will go ahead and commit so many atrocities. And then it is when they do something so crazy. They end up being the news. Being the statistics. And they will start looking at it. So it wasn't right. Because honestly we must assume that some of these people don't even know that what they are doing is wrong. So again it's all hands on deck from parenting. To instilling moral values. To community engagements. To bridging the economy. Let me hear your thoughts Jennifer. Because you say if you remember that sports TV guy. I forget the name of the sport TV channel that died. You remember that she also said something around them giving a substance. And this girl mentioned that they wanted to put the substance. The man said no it doesn't need it and all of that. Because the substance is meant to sedate him and all. You know there is also that part of drugs. And again the kind of things I have heard about is really like it. The proliferation of drugs. This is alarming. Like everybody is on drugs. And you know the kinds of things I have heard about you know there are some things you cannot do except you are on a very different level. Like fully laced in drugs. Those are the things they do. So I am just wondering like how do we fight it. Because you see it's one thing for you to do something with your senses. Another thing when there is I mean these things are available all over the place. So in this particular story I genuinely already have bias. And I already have an issue with this picture or this video. And that's what is a man of that age looking for with little girls of this age. That is already a problem to begin with. But then that's not even the topic of today. When you see young girls like this. They have people that they look up to. And again it boils down to media. It boils down to social media. And yes there is a lot of there are a lot of drugs out there. I mean you walk on the streets you are seeing people signaling to you. It will be a street not too far from here. You just see them. And to me just like this is broad daylight has some shame. But obviously there is no shame anymore. And people will tell you when you ask some questions. People will tell you I am trying to survive. You are trying to survive. You are trying to make ends meet. There are so many ways to make ends meet. But the thing is you just don't want to put in the work. You don't want to go through the process. Because going through the process means that you have to go through fire. To be molded into something useful. Make something out of your life. But because you want to get somewhere very fast. And then these people have seen people do it and succeed. Because I mean you hear very scary stories. You know when we are doing make up we always hear stories. You know you hear scary stories of how you know people put. I mean it's a risk. And they took the risk and they succeeded. So you know why don't I also take the risk. I mean also to get lucky. Well I get that. I mean sometimes even when you are doing something legit. You see somebody do something legit. And sometimes when you hear people being so ambitious. And very passionate about what they want to do. Is because they have seen somebody do it and succeed. So the same thing when it comes to the bad side of things. There is a wrong model out there. There is somebody that you are looking up to. There is something you see. Somebody has done it and succeeded. I mean I can do it. For some for that I am about to come and meet you in traffic. Lagos traffic. With all the boldness to say I can collect your bag. I can collect your money from you. It's because they have seen people do it. And succeed. And they weren't caught. I mean bringing it down to drugs. There are drugs everywhere. Low grade, high grade, mid grade. It is everywhere. It is being hooked. Every street, every corner. It is there. When you check. I feel like if you start doing stop and search. For everybody. The amount of things that you would uncover. Right. People actually. Sometimes when people talk about drugs. You think that it is. Maybe people on the streets. See. Even in your proper organizations. Right. You go to your offices. You realize that some of them. Or maybe 20% of them are high. And they are working. Do you understand? Because they tell you that they can't function. Exactly. Even your bosses. Your CEOs. We know these things. Even your CEOs. You realize that some of them are high. Half the time. They take drugs. They buy drugs. They are doing different kind of drugs. If it is not loud if it is not loud. Or it is heroin or crystal meth or something. They are doing this things. I mean, I feel it. You, being in the office. Somebody will tell you you are taking a break. They are going to smoke. They are going to get high. And they are back in the office. And I will be looking at the person. Are you normal? Do you understand? So things like that. If you ask questions. You ask questions.  fisheries судар e ge şöyle s  1984 kort re m do bu until we have a real government who understands their primary responsibility to the citizens as enshrined in the 1999 constitution being welfare and security of the people not much is going to change. In sociology there is a term called anome which is a state society reaches where the values are totally dysfunctional and emphasis on material acquisitions and making money by any means a society of the end justifies the means this is from me and i think that is where we have gotten through the end justifies that's what we've gotten to because literally even listen to our songs yeah like you rightly said is a hydra-headed monster you can't just say people are dying there is a link to it i've talked about what's he called our population i would not even have sanctions right for those population i've talked we've talked about you know parental um what's he called parental um involvement we've talked about even societal pressure societal pressure the influence of social media and all of that now look at even as this man has said now we're in a place where your musicians will tell you and what's he called if you know him i hate that song if you know them money hide your face so if you don't have money you don't even have the liberty to talk so you hear things like ah um whatever happens anyhow anyhow we must make up you understand you hear things like when you finish make up you go do yahoo you take colorado you take this these things are all embedded in our music especially music and you know one of the greatest tools of influence is music you know that somebody is listening to those kinds of songs consistently there is no way your brain will not turn one day you just wake up and all of a sudden you do not recognize who you see in the mirror because why those things have entered your system it's now become a part of you right so if we say we want to solve the problem then there has to be very very deliberate thing and this is not we don't need a government that wants to make us to you know like this kind of like let them let it let it look like i am walking but i am not walking no we don't want that we want a government that is really serious there was a time where cocaine abu yeah it was cocaine that was found in ikorodu very large chunk of cocaine the next thing we hear that they burnt it how you know i can't wait to have those conversations with ndli why would you burn those kind of a thing do you understand there are so many things that we've heard about ndli arresting this arresting that say we've seen the one in india you will see the you will see it through but you see him like in nigeria it is quick to find the person that you caught the person what happens after us you only hear you only hear about the rs because again because you see for multi-headed issues problems we're looking at simple solutions we can't look at simple solutions we must also use the approach of okay for you to tackle a multi-headed you must approach it you must go to the roots one thing is one thing i know is that when people are refusing to put structures in place it's because they know that the people they are benefiting people beside them right are also culprits yeah right and people nobody wants to be on the black side or somebody on the bad side or somebody and say oh it's like jala is doing something now and i put rules you know what this policy blah blah blah blah blah if this happens it's going to affect but then i need to be able to say you know what i don't care right i don't care what happens if jala wants if jala doesn't want it to affect her then she needs to come correct and but then not a lot of people is at the end of the integrity right if you don't have the integrity to actually do the right thing then things will keep going bad and will keep having the same complaints over and over and over again it has become a vicious cycle and this is just the beginning of things like we're just seeing these things there are more atrocities to come yeah right now the thing is how do we mitigate yeah those things and if we don't put things in place to check it i don't i don't know i'm not going to show this country we have gone control us like because that's another thing that is going to it's it's going to almost be like an opinion the fact that we've allowed illegality to stand you understand and we're refusing to just take the blue by the one and and approve this thing called corruption from the root it would it would be tough to solve some of this problem and we'll see more of this because a girl needs money she has seen her fellow gay friend curry iPhone 16 she used to want to buy she who is the person that is the man i said my own because the truth i mean literally that's what is going to be happening so you have to find a solution you understand solve the poverty problem solve the unemployment problem solve the issues around you know healthcare solve the issues around poor education well now we have a senior special assistant on values so let's see maybe just maybe maybe she went there she went there let's say i should wrap up before we go she went there follow us on social media and wish sure if we can interact with us for that thank you to everyone that sent in the comments and comments remember to like share and invite your families and friends to watch our follow the conversation when i saw them put minister you miss your advice what national advice we are coming for you the act of killing someone not only destroys their future but also tarnishes our own conscience this is a very deep quote right um we can't get to that point where we completely lose our conscience our conscience is what keeps us you know human yeah you know we'll see you guys tomorrow at 8 p.m as we bring another great conversation to your screen