 Hello, lovers. Today's video will be a short one because I want to get directly to the point. I'm talking about a massive insecurity that both men and women carry when it comes to their sexual lives, specifically how they interact with one another. Now, this is a video that can apply whether you are homosexual, heterosexual, or somewhere beautifully in between. So, with that being said, let me know if you can relate to either one of these situations. I'm enjoying this and all, but dear body, you may want to just wrap this thing on up. You know, people got places to go, things to do, so let's just tie this one up in a little bow and slide on into home. Come on, now. Come on. Come on. Okay. Okay, Jared. All right. Focus on some other things. Okay. I'm all right. We're good. We're good. Oh, all right. It's starting to get to that part. You know, how about this? I mean, when you wrap my head, I assume I ain't about to come right now. I ain't about to come right now. No, I'm not. Now, of course, this doesn't apply to every single person, but in my 10 plus years of experience talking to complete strangers about intimate parts of their sex lives, I have come to find that women are obsessed with how short and fast their orgasm can be while men want it to be as hard and long as possible. Side note there. When I said hard and long, I wasn't talking about the orifice of the male. I was talking about the length of time and how hard it is to achieve orgasm, not how hard and long their tool is for achieving orgasm. And maybe you want both time, how much of it or how little of it we take up while sexually interacting with someone else has become a massive preoccupation for a lot of people. And it hasn't done anyone any favors. So here's something we've all heard before, but it's definitely worth repeating the more time you spend during sexual activity, preoccupy with external things like what you got to do next or how long this is currently taking. And the less time you spend actually focused on internal things like how you're feeling or how your partner is feeling, the less satisfying the experience is going to be for you and more than likely for your partner, who can tell that your head isn't completely in the game and in the moment. Now, this can be difficult and easier said than done. So I'm going to offer you guys five different tips to getting time to be a non-factor rather than the driving force of your sexual experiences. First and foremost, the best and most obvious advice to any question you probably have about anything in the world, you got to talk about it. You've got to just address the elephant in the room and say, Hey, takes me a long time to orgasm. Usually, are you okay with that? Saying that out loud and having your partner affirm you and say, I don't mind at all on the flip side saying, Hey, I tend to orgasm really quick in these positions or orgasm really quick period. How do you feel about that? And having your partner again affirm you and tell you, I actually really don't care how long it takes you or you know what, if you're going to orgasm really quickly and I want you to go longer, why don't we try taking a break doing something else one or two, grabbing a toy. We can then solve the problem together and we no longer have to have this deep seated fear that like, Oh my God, I wonder if they noticed. Do they know was taking me a long time or a short time? Chances are they noticed they know. So saying it out loud and having both people be on the same page clears the air and clears the clock. Number two, and this is a lesson that I have learned the hard way. Now playing music during sex can be a great thing to add atmosphere and to cover up the sound of queefs and other weird things that happen. But I would choose instrumentals that are long and looping or mixes versus playlists or albums. And why is that? Because playlists and albums gave us definitive markers of time. If we know, Oh my gosh, they have been down there for five songs. Like what's going on? We better speed this thing up. Every time the song changes, it's another marker of time. Or on the flip side, if you're going and pumping along, you're like, we better make it at least to the end of the song. So it creates these senses of finish lines, which again, don't make it easy to get lost in the moment. Number three, do more stuff before the actual stuff. And again, this can work for both participants. If you are somebody who feels you take a very long time to orgasm, having more foreplay and taking a longer time to get to the main event actually makes the actual event itself shorter because you're completely aroused when your partner engages with your primary sexual organs. On the flip side, if you are quick to come to the party, doing more foreplay in the beginning stretches out the experience. So nobody feels like, Oh, that was quick. Number four, break it up, break it up, break it up. Breaking it up is a very helpful tool, especially if you identify with being a pleaser when it comes to the bedroom. Now, in a pleaser role, you may start to feel uncomfortable when your partner is spending a lot of time on you. When you break it up and kind of go back and forth between who is receiving the bulk of the pleasure and the bulk of the attention allows you to get confused when you're like, I don't know, have they gotten more? Have I gotten more? Who had the last turn? I'm not really quite sure. And when you get confused, you can get lost in time. And for my final piece of advice, establish a finishing move. We all might have that thing when it comes to self pleasure that we know gets us there a little quicker and a little bit more directly on the path to that final destination. When we tell that to our partner, they now have that at their arsenal as well. So if it's taking a long time and they don't pull out the finishing move, don't worry, that means that they're enjoying it too. So you have permission to fully enjoy it. And once they feel like they want to wrap this up, they'll probably pull out the finishing move on the flip side. If you're somebody who tends to again, get there a little fast. If your partner engages the finishing move that might be their way of communicating to you. Don't worry. I see you struggling back there and counting the ABCs backwards and trying to remember the 12 different ways that your grandma used to cook chicken. You ain't got to do all that. So again, those are five different ways that you could try to beat the clock when it comes to really being in the moment in your sexual experiences. Because trust me, it's so much better on the other side when you let go and you feel that's why a lot of people really do enjoy high sex or drunken sex. Because in those moments, they're not cognizant of all the external factors of while we're sober, we tend to obsess over. You don't have to go the extreme route of intoxicating or tricking yourself. You can just work with yourself. And hopefully one of these five tips will help help. Hopefully one of these five tips help. And if you have a tip of your own, write it in the comment section below because I love tips from you guys. I love just the tip. I love the full thing. I like it how you like it. Actually, I have a very particular way that I like it, but for the sake of this video and for a sexy ending, I like it how you like it.