 Hey Psych2Goers, we're so glad to see you here and we want to thank you for supporting us. Your ongoing help, sharing, and liking has helped Psych2Go continue our mission to make psychology accessible to everyone. Now, let's begin, shall we? Good child syndrome is when a child feels pressure to always be well-behaved and obedient in order to please their parents or other authority figures, even if it means suppressing their own feelings and desires. Sound familiar? From a young age, we seek validation and being labeled the good child can fulfill that desire, but the pressure to maintain that facade of goodness can lead to good child syndrome, where you feel the need to be perceived as good despite the negative impact on your mental health. Here are three signs you may suffer from good child syndrome. Did I do good? Imagine you're back to being six years old. You're in the kitchen and want one of the freshly baked cookies from the counter. Instead of simply taking it, you ask one of your parents, can I have a cookie please? Your parent seems pleased with your request and replies, yes, you can have one after you finish your homework and bring it to me. Desperate for that decadent and freshly baked sweet, you rush to finish up your last bits of homework, run to your parent and ask, did I do good? As you anxiously await a response, your parent says, try again, most of this is wrong. Why can't you be good in school like your brother? Safe to say you didn't get your cookie and something inside cracks because it's only natural to seek external validation from a young age. Approval from parents, guardians and teachers can be crucial for a healthy upbringing, but relying on it can be devastating in adulthood. A good child for instance could grow up reliant on the approval of others and fail to develop their own thoughts and ideas. Desiring external validation is not necessarily bad, it can be assuring, affirming and positive, but when it becomes the focus of your actions, that may be a sign you lack self-validation. According to licensed psychotherapist Sherry Gabba, learning to recognize when you are seeking validation from external sources is the first step. By acknowledging this behavior, people can choose a more effective option, breaking the cycle and learning to look internally for validation. So before you ask someone, did I do good, think about why you want their validation and remind yourself that you should not need to rely upon others' approval. If you find this video relatable and helpful, please give the video a thumbs up and subscribe to the channel. Now moving on to the next point. I'll work hard to make you love me. You're in a new relationship and you've found someone you believe to be perfect, but when this perfect person doesn't show you the love and affection you desire, you promise to work hard for their love. Why? The natural parent insinuates this mindset is often developed during childhood, when children face emotional neglect from their parents. According to the magazine, good children learn to work hard to keep their parents' love and affection and learn early on that bad behaviors, outbursts and emotions only earn their parents disapproval. Psychologist Gordon Neufeldt calls this dynamic of codependency the cookie cutter, referring to when the child cuts themselves into a shape that allows the parent to only see the acceptable side and all negative or big emotions like anger, upset, jealousy and disappointment are left outside of the cookie. They learn that they must change for the sake of others and work hard for love and affection when in reality they don't. In reality, you don't have to work hard to be loved because love is not meant to be transactional. As Shakespeare once said, the course of love never did run smoothly. No relationship is perfect, but if your partner has convinced you that you need to work hard and earn their love, there's an issue that needs to be addressed with a close friend or licensed professional. I'll do whatever you want, whenever you want. You're in the middle of an important assignment and your parents need you to come over and set up their new TV. You try to tell them you don't have time and you don't know how to do it, but when they insist, you decide to put the assignment aside and run to their house. When you can't figure out how to install their new TV, are your parents visibly upset or disappointed with you and do you feel a rush of guilt? An adult raised to be good may lack boundaries and comply with the demands of others, often leading them to injure physical and emotional abuse at the hands of their partner, co-workers, parents, or so-called friends. According to teensavers.com, the dangers of the good child, or as some like to call it, perfect child syndrome, is that children learn to suppress their true self, their emotions, and hold secrets away from their parents. They're often on the receiving end of more abuse than most other children and find it hard to stand up for themselves. Because the good child is raised to be obedient and compliant, they'll often do whatever is asked of them, even if it means dropping everything they themselves determine as important. They grow up to lack healthy boundaries. As poet and playwright Oscar Wilde once said, the best way to make children good is to make them happy. You deserve to be happy. And remember that being good does not mean neglecting yourself or ignoring your bad emotions. None of us can be good 24-7. There's no shame in expressing anger, jealousy, or disappointment when it's genuinely what you feel. No one is immune to their emotions. If you found this video educational, please like it and share it with your friends. Until next time, remember to hit that subscribe button to be kept up to date on our latest videos. Take care and remember that you matter. And it serves as a reminder to prioritize your mental well-being. Its green leaf symbolizes growth, renewal, and the importance of self-care, whether it's for yourself or as a thoughtful gift for a loved one. Sai is ready to be your smugly friend through all of life's ups and downs. By your side, bless you today. Link is listed in the description box.